A/N: Hey all, sorry it took me so long to update, this chapter was hard to write. I want to thank everyone for the reviews - 24, W.A.W!!! And as promised, this chapter is longer, the longest yet: 4.089 words. I added Renée's POV to this, none of you probably were expecting to see her POV, but I felt as if it needed to be in here. She is a bit more serious than in the books, but this is a serious story so I doubt she'd be her usual happy self. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you like it. Enjoy!
Chapter 7: Mother/daughter memories
Laurent POV
I was staring at the beautiful, fragile, little human tied to my bed - mumbling in her sleep - thinking. I captured her about 24 hours ago, give or take an hour, and had been in amazing control of myself and my thirst. I never knew I was able to possess so much control, I was amazed by it.
"Vampire... not...real...dream...," my pet mumbled in her sleep, I chuckled. So she thought this was all just a dream? She was dreaming of a life without vampires? That was funny; I'd imagined she'd never want to live in a world where creatures such as myself did not exist. I guess I was wrong.
Oh, but soon her dream would become a nightmare when she would finally realize what I was planning on doing to her. Sure, I would have her in every sexual way possible - that, she knew. She, however, had no idea of the other things I planned on doing to her - much worse, much more painful than sex or rape, as she and any other person would call it.
Today would be the start of the worst she could possibly imagine - I had already done my work a few hours ago, it wasn't hard or time-consuming. I melted some steel, then ingraved it with my name, then let it cool down. It was almost completely ready for use - waiting in the fire, heating - which I had been waiting for.
I would brand her, forever make her mine, violate her in a way no one would ever think off because hardly anyone had such a sadistic mind as mine. I had a sick mind, even for a vampire, and I knew it and liked it. Everyone feared me as they should - even James and Victoria knew to fear me on some level, thought they hardly ever showed it. I was always very careful not to show my true nature or even think of it, no, I let others believe I thought they were the sadistic ones. What a joke!
But I would do more than rape and brand her, much much more. I had a few ideas already - one being to cut off all ties to her precious Edward, which would be helped along a great deal when I would brand her. She seemed to be the self-loathing, self-sacrificing type - even if she ever thought she could make it out alive, which she couldn't, she would never return to her vampire, she wouldn't want to hurt him by showing she had been completely mine in every way and would always be so. I had hardly ever encountered such a selfless human, it was interesting to observe her.
I had one experiment I was thrilled to do, soon, and it wasn't the sex part. I had encountered many drug addicts in my time - even some vampires who were so addicted to the taste of blood they killed almost every hour or more so - and was curious to find out how long it would take for a human to grow dependant on any sort of drug. Now, since I had a human within my reach, I would test it out on her. I would feel her one of the most addicting drugs I could find and see how many times I would have to shoot her up before she began begging for it herself. It would be a very funny thing to watch, I imagined.
"No... nightmare...real..." Isabella mumbled in her sleep and I chuckled once more. So now she was having a nightmare, one that was real? I looked over to her face and the corners of her mouth were turned down, she was shaking her head as if trying to shake away the dream and yanking at her ropes, to no avail. Now would be the ideal moment to brand her.
I grabbed the hot handle of the iron made with my name on it, lifted her shirt and pushed it down firmly on her stomach. Nothing happened at first, she was still asleep, but suddenly the entire room was filled with her lovely screams which, had I been human, would have raised all the hairs on my skin. Still, she seemed to be asleep, not awake yet. I pressed down harder - I wanted her to be awake for this.
The moment she awoke, I immediately knew - her heart rate seemed to go off the charts; it was beating so fast I thought she was going into cardic arrest or something like that. Her breath hitched for a moment as she awoke, but only half a second or less passed before she was screaming once more. Tears were running down her cheeks, I found real pleasure in the fact I was able to make her cry.
I held the steel to her for several short minutes - though I imagined it would seem like a lifetime to her - before pulling it away and laying it in a corner of the room. Her screams stopped but she continued to whimper because of the pain she felt - I chuckled, making my presence known, though I was sure she could already feel the coldness exuding from me.
I decided to speak up, "You are mine now, love, branded forever." I said, making sure she understood exactly what it was I had done to her. She stopped her whimpering, her breath hitched for a second, then her heartbeat slowed down to almost nothing - she had heard, I was wondering what she was thinking now.
I didn't have to wonder for long, since she spoke up with a very detached, cold, yet calm tone of voice, "Don't ever call me love." To a human, she would have probably sounded scary, but to me it was amusing. She wanted to make it clear that she was not my love - which she wasn't, she was just a pet in my eyes - that she was her vampire's love, still, in her mind. Didn't she understand that he just used her, as I was doing, that she was nothing more than a sick joke to him? He threw her away the first chance he got tired of her, yet, still, she loved him. How odd.
"Soon, love, soon...," I said with a smug smile on my face - which she couldn't see - intend on using this nickname for her every time I spoke to her now. It hurt her, she had made it clear when she told me not to call her that, and I would use it do hurt her even more. Sometimes, going for the mental pain worked better than going for the physical pain, I had learned over the years. And I was sure that was just the exact case with this girl.
I would leave her alone now, hunt, then come back and take it to the next level - the physical level which I hoped wouldn't be the death of her. I had planned on waiting longer, but I couldn't, I wouldn't. I wanted to feel her under me, I wanted her to look at me with those big, brown, chocolate eyes of her as I did so. I wanted her to be fully aware of everything when I did so, without the drugs I was planning on giving her clouding her mind. I wanted her to feel both the physical and mental pain of it, as I was sure this girl was still a virgin, it would pleasure me a great deal. I left the room imagining all the things I would do to her, almost getting arroused by the thought of it alone.
It would be a very dark experience for her, and an enlightening one for me, as I had no idea of what to expect. She will have never experienced such darkness, such poison, in her entire life. No human will have ever gone through what she will go through - even the cruelest of humans weren't capable of such torture. Dark times lay ahead for her, and she was fully aware of it, which only made me want to torture her more. I could hardly wait.
Renée POV
I was sitting at the airport in Jacksonville, waiting for my plane to Phoenix to arrive, all my thought centered around my beatiful, sweet Bella. My perfect daughter, so mature in more ways than one, missing. How could I have let this happen? As a mother I was supposed to protect her, but instead I dumped her in Forks so I could be with Phill all the time and left her to get hurt. It had been the middle of the night when Charlie had called with the news - he sounded so broken, unlike any other time I'd ever spoken to him.
The phone ran, waking me from my peaceful slumber - I had been dreaming about a world in where I was a supermodel, so lovely - and I got up, walked downstairs still half asleep and answered it, confused and slightly annoyed as to who would be calling me at such an hour - I glanced at my watch, it was only 2 am.
"Hello?" I said, sounding tired - feeling tired.
"R-Renée? It's C-Charlie," Charlie spoke in his gruff tone, but the sadness and panic in it made me wide awake. Something had happened, I heard it in his voice, but what?
"What's wrong?" I asked, cutting to the chase, Charlie was known for beating around the bush for too long.
"It's Bella," I sighed, still beating around the bush, but more allert and slightly frightened for my daughter. What had happened this time?
The last two times weren't the most pleasant I had with her seeing as one time she was admitted to the hospital, half-dead, and another she was in a cattatonic sort of state. She had been very depressed these last months, ever since Edward - who I thought loved her more than life itself, at least, it appeared that way when I met him in Phoenix - left her without as much as a single word or warning. Lately, she had snapped out of it a little thanks to her newly best friend Jacob Black, who's father was best friends with Charlie. But she wasn't okay by a long shot, I knew that from the times I talked to Charlie. Would she have done something to herself? Did my forever responsible - more responsible than me, since I almost always behaved like a teenager - harm herself, physically, on purpose? Would she do that?
"Just tell me, Charlie," I said in the most serious tone of voice I could muster - a tone I almost never used, since I was anything but a serious, responsible, mature, person. He sighed into the phone - even his sigh sounded tiresome and broken.
"She's missing. We're searching, no one can find her," He said, now using his police-voice, but with a panic-filled edge to it.
I gasped, my Bella was missing? Where was she? I knew I should've taken her back home with me after the Cullen boy left, but she was so resolute on staying in Forks - wanting to be close to her former love, I guessed - that I couldn't bare hurting her by making her leave. Now I wish I had been firm - had been a mother for once in my life - and made her come with me, where she would be safe.
But who would have ever thought she wouldn't be safe in Forks? Not me. I thought Forks was a dreary, little town where nothing exiting ever happened. Obviously, I was wrong, because, since Bella moved there, she had been in more dangerous situations than in her entire life. First she almost got squashed by a car, then she ran away and ended up fighting for her life in the hospital, then apparantly she fell in love and fell apart when he lived. It was clear Forks wasn't a good place for her. I should have never let her go there in the first place.
I was supposed to be her mother - she was supposed to be my daughter - but it seemed that the roles had gotten completely reversed, as she was more a mother to me than I to her. She was so much older than me in so many ways, not counting age, and I let her take care of me instead of the other way around. I was supposed to be her protecter, instead she was the one who protected me of all the stupid things I always wanted to try. I was a horrible mother, I now realized, and I was hugely to blame for this.
"I'm taking the first plane to Phoenix," I said, then hung up, not wanting to hear another word Charlie had to say. I was not mad at him, I just couldn't stand more right now. I went upstairs to wake Phill and told him to book us a flight - I was on autopilot, I didn't even cry, I just did what I had to, sort of numb. It was weird, not like me at all.
"I'm going to get some coffee, 'you want some?" Phill asked me, shaking me from my reverie. I nodded, but said nothing - I hadn't said a word since we arrived here and I knew Phill was concerned for me; I was acting so unlike my normal self, it was a little freakish.
Phill left then and I returned my thoughts to my Bella. I knew it was unhealthy, the way I was acting right now didn't help me or anyone else, but I couldn't help myself. I guess that was the one thing that hadn't changed about me during these last couple of hours, I still couldn't help myself from doing whatever it was I was doing this time - which was getting lost in memories of my sweet daughter.
There was this one time when Bella was 14, I could clearly remember, where I had wanted to do one of my kitchen experiments again and almost set it on fire - thank god Bella had been there to save the day.
I was standing over the stove, humming a tuneless song as I watched the vegeatables stew in the pan - there were carottes, tomatoes, peas, and several other variaties of vegeatables in the pan, none of which fitted together, though I hardly cared about that fact.
I threw in some pepper's, added some spices and then threw in the pieces of chicken I had bought at the store. As soon as the chicken fell into the pan, a flame of fire errupted from it. I let out a shrill shriek.
"Mom? Mom, what happened?" Bella came rushing in the kitchen at the sound of my distress. I didn't have to answer, she could see the raising flames for herself and my frantic expression as I tried to extinguish it. She ran outside and came back only seconds later with a bucket of dirt in her hands. What was she doing with that?
"Move aside," She commanded, I did as she told and she took my place infront of the stove - I feared for her safety, scared she might get burned, but she was completely safe as she threw the dirt over the fire, extinguishing it almost immediately. When did my daughter become such a genius?
She turned around with a goofy grin on her face, trying to hold back her giggles as she looked from me to the stove, rolling her eyes in the process.
"Well, I hope you like your dinner burned and spiced with dirt," I said, trying to act casual and forget I almost burned the house down. That sentence did it, though, it send Bella over the edge as she errupted and filled the house with loud guffaws.
"You - are - such - an - idiot!" She exclaimed between laughs, I scowled. Sure, this was a little stupid, but did she have to call me an idiot? She saw my scowl and laughed even harder - she hardly ever laughed this much, it was intoxicating.
"What?! It's true! Y-you would h-have burned the k-kitchen down if I h-hadn't been h-here," She chocked on her words as the laughter became to much. I couldn't help myself any longer, I dubbled over with laughter while Bella was holding on to the counter with one hand and holding the other to her side, the laughter probably hurt in her stomach, I knew that feeling.
After what seemed like hours, our laughter finally died down and we dried the last tears that had escaped from our eyes, looking at each other with big smiles - we could act so crazy sometimes, well, that was usually my job.
We were sitting on the floor against the counter, next to each other. "What would I do without you, Belly Bells?" I mused, using my favorite nickname for her.
"Wither and die?" She countered, I rolled my eyes, she could be so silly sometimes. Everytime I said this, she would answer the same. Good old Bella, you could always count on her.
"No, seriously. You're such a lifesaver. I swear, you're middle-aged instead of a kid," I said, and it was true, she was like no-one her age I had ever encountered. She was more mature than most adults even, she had such an old soul and mostly I liked that about her, but sometimes I worried it would hinder with her life. I worried she wouldn't easily fit in because she was so different, and I didn't want that.
"Ah, someone has to be the adult here, or we'd long be homeless," She replied, I rolled my eyes, always the jokester, well, it seemed she was only one to make a lot of jokes when in my presence, but never in someone else's. I wondered why that was.
"I love you, baby, you know that, right?" I said, as I had said the same many times before. Bella wasn't one for showing her emotions - she was so Charlie in that department - but she gave me a hug, as she always did when I said I loved her, and she told me she loved me too and she loved taking care of me. She said it was like having her own child, but better because the child was grown up and not at all baby-ish. I stiffled a laugh at that.
"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" I added, we had such a beautiful mother/daughter relationship, though it was odd, since she was more the mother and I the daughter, but it worked for us.
"That we are," she agreed and smiled, I returned the smile with one of my own.
"You look happy. What 'r you smiling about?" Phill asked, pulling me out of my memorie - he stood before me with two cups of coffee in his hands and I remembered why we were here and my smile faded. He handed me the cup and I accepted it.
"Bella," I sighed, answering his question. He nodded, he understood. I missed my baby girl more than I would admit to anyone, but this was worse, because before I knew I could visit her whenever I wanted, now, I wasn't even sure if I'd ever see her again.
"We'll find her, I have faith in that," Phill tried to console me, seeing my anxious, pained expression. I wanted to believe him, but it was hard because I had little faith in me now. Not that I had so much faith before this - Phill was somewhat religious; he believed in God. But I wasn't really a believer - the only times I ever attended church was when I wanted to try something new, and it never lasted longer than a few weeks, before I moved on to something else.
I often wondered how people could believe and have faith in a God that seemed to be responsible for so many horrible things. How could people trust in something with all their heart, when it seemed that it didn't exist. How could God exist when such horrible things occured in this world? No, God didn't exist, not in my eyes, he couldn't. If he did exist, he wouldn't have let anything happen to such a sweet, innocent girl as my Bella. No one in their right mind would ever want to hurt Bella - she was one of the purest people that existed.
"What are you thinking about?" Phill questioned again, trying to figure out my intense expression as I was so deep in thought and that rarely happene. I sighed, he wouldn't like what I had to say. Yes, he knew I wasn't really a religious person, but I had never bashed his god as I was about to do now.
"God doesn't exist, not in my if he does exist, he's the most faul creature to ever to walk this earth or heaven or wherever he is. Because, if he were good, my Bella would be safe in my arms now, not missing," I explained, Phill frowned. I was right, he didn't like what I had to say, but he understood, he didn't get angry at me for it.
"I can understand why you feel that way. I know you've never believed in God, but at least believe that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason." My eyes widened, what reason would there be for my daughter to be missing and possibly in pain or even d- no, I couldn't think that word.
He said nothing else, nor did I. He just grabbed my hand, brought it to his lips and soflty planted a kiss on it before holding it to his cheek. My husband was more attentive than I gave him credit for. I realized I was not only a bad mom, but a bad wife too. I never took responsibility for anything and always let others take care of me - never once in my life did I return the favor and took care of the ones I loved. I was rather pathetic, when you thought about it.
I only now remembered the cup of coffee I held in my hand and took a sip of it - though it would make me even more aggitated, I needed it - it had cooled down a lot, but it tasted good enough for me. As good as coffee could taste, that is.
I leaned my body against Phill and closed my eyes, thinking about my Bella - I couldn't forget a single memory I had of her, not as long as she was missing. I needed something to hold on to.
I remembered her different smiles - her over-the-top happy smile - her forever-the-shy-one smile - her mom-did-it-again smile - her sad smile; that one always made me a little sad and angry at myself for not taking better care of herself.
I remember how selfless she is; she would do anything for another but nothing for herself. She truly was an amazing person, though little people acknowledged that fact. The fact that she loved to read and she never got tired of reading her favorite books over and over again, especially her old, battered copy of Wuthering Heights. She inherited the passion for books from me; I loved to read as well, though I was more of a mystery novel type myself where as Bella was more the classic, old romantic novel type.
We were so different, yet so alike on more levels than one. We were best friends before she moved to Forks - we connected in ways we didn't connect with anyone else. We complimented each other; Bella with her responsible urges and I with my crazy, child-like nature.
I really hoped we would find Bella soon - I couldn't stand a life where she was not in it. I wished I'd spend more time with her this past year and a half and felt guilty for not doing so. I would have my daughter back, even if I had to search every single corner of the world, I would get her back! That's a promise I made to myself I would definitely honor!
A/N: So, I hope you liked it and review; I am aiming for 110 reviews, not so hard, only 13 little reviews to tell me what you thought. You know the drill:
5 review: short chapter
10 reviews: normal chapter
15 reviews: long chapter (longer than this)
Jeez, I really am getting pathetic with this begging for reviews routine. Ha well.
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Oh, right, story recommendation time, here it is:
Title: Tainted Innocence
Summary: was raped by her stepfather and sent off to live in is emotionally scarred, what happens when she meets a family of Vampires in Forks? Can Edward bring her out of her shell?
Author: Padme-And-Anakin-4-Ever
My thoughts: I like it, it's a bit dark, but well written and keeps you reading. I def. recommend it.
Link: fanfiction[dot]net/s/5136022/1/Tainted_Innocence
