That's Exploding Candy For Your Enemies
Author Note: Am I Joanne Kathleen Rowling? Nope. It's not mine, then. The Christmas break is here, and things will surely explode (no pun intended on the chapter title, which is actually a movie quote. And I had to lift it straight out of the film it's from, even though I'm British).
The Hogwarts students that had opted to go home for the break were on the Express for Christmas. James, Cynthia and Al were sitting in a compartment, waiting for Rose to return from the lavatory - the four had become very close-knit since James calmed down about 'Ralbus', as he called it (having pinched the name from Dominique, one of four of Weasley grandchildren who knew about the relationship). Al was doodling on a spare scrap of parchment. Cynthia looked over, saw the doodle, and sighed heavily, almost biting back a throaty laugh. Al had drawn a rose.
"I want to thump him. Can I thump him?" she asked James. James kept silent, but then a moment later whacked Al.
"Ahhhh!" Al screamed, coming back to reality. "What was that for?!"
"Your insane drawings." Cynthia smiled loosely. Al blushed. "Awww." Cynthia cooed. Al grumbled incoherently. Rose walked back in. Cynthia grinned at her.
"What?" Rose asked, clearly on edge.
"We're just discussing how much Albie's heart pounds when he thinks about you."
"I'm the only one who gets to call Al that nickname because I'm his other half, and - hang on... oh Al!" Rose finished, hugging him immensely. Al was turning purple.
"You can thank me later." Cynthia winked. Al's green orbs bored into Cynthia's skull. She cringed a bit. "James... he's scaring me." she fake-whined. James hugged her.
"Whipped!" Al coughed.
"Mum'll probably get her secret cat-'o'-nine-tails out soon, so you'll be whipped." James reminded him. All the colour drained from Albus' face. Rose squirmed.
"Why oh why will this escalate into such a problem? Just because we're cousins who happen to have fallen for each other? Considering our 'unimaginable' power of magic, this world is limited in open-minded views." Rose quoted, making air signs.
"Ironically, that's what they say about pure-blood marriages. There are so little different pure-bloods left, you'll probably have to marry a relation, however distant."
"Thanks for pointing out that delicious irony, James!" Rose exhaled, grinning.
"You know that never really crossed my mind, to be honest." Al said. "But you're right Rosie, why are people so conceited about this sort of thing?"
"Your namesake swung for the other team." Cynthia pointed out. Al thanked her silently with his eyes. Annie then walked into the compartment.
"Hey." she greeted.
"Hi Annie." the Potter boys replied. Rose smiled a hello, and Cynthia did a slight head-jerk. Annie sensed that something was up.
"Cynthia, I-"
"Annie, that was just a muscle spasm. I'm not angry." Cynthia half-smiled.
"The reason that Cynthia could possibly be mad is buried way in the past." James said. Al's sneaky streak reared its head and he thought to play a trick on his brother.
"What reason? Ohhh... that you always went goo-goo eyes for Miss Longbottom when you were both little kids?" Al smirked. James was ready to strangle him while Annie's eyes popped.
"Really?" she asked, intrigued. James nodded. "Aww." Annie nudged him playfully.
"You seem to have a charm over Potter boys." Cynthia winked.
"Rosie thought so. When she was guessing who I liked at the start of the year, you were her first guess." Al commented, his eyes on Annie. Rose tensed.
"W-when Al mentioned h-he liked someone, I d-did think on some d-degree that it might h-have been you." she stammered, blushing from embarassment.
"Tish and pish, Rose! You can see all along that Al has eyes for only one girl." Annie grinned. Rose blushed harder.
"I'm not denying it." Al sighed with happiness, leaning against his beloved cousin. Anyone would have thought that Rose was about to explode.
"That's what we were talking about when you walked in and we said 'speak of the devil'." Rose said. Dom walked in, claiming 'Head Girl rounds'.
"Right, family meeting." James teased, ushering Annie and Cynthia out.
"Oi!" came the unified cry, along with a 'you can't push me out!' from Cynthia.
"Ooh, does little Miss Goldstein dream of being Mrs. Potter in a few years?" Dom asked. "Already thinking yourself part of the family?"
"It would seem so. See you guys." Annie smiled, walking out.
"Tchah! Cut it with the 'little Miss Goldstein' stuff, I'm only a year younger than you, and furthermore-" but Cynthia never got to finish that rant seeing as her lips were then pressed against James'.
"Reminds you of us, don't you think?" Al teased Rose. A plunging noise emerged.
"Thank you very much for that!" James muttered, pulling away from his girlfriend.
"Broom cupboard..." Rose giggled. James put his wand to his head. Dom sighed.
"Get over it. Love is love." the Head Girl mumbled. Rose pounced on Dominique and hugged her, whispering 'thank you's.
"Hufflepuffs can be loyal after all." Al mused. Dom threw him a right evil look.
"Who defended you two in times of need?" she hissed maniacally.
"Megan did. That's who Al's referring to." Rose teased with a shrug and a smile. Dom then proceeded to stomp out with a Veela-like fury. Rose shrugged again.
"Did Dom really help you out?" Cynthia asked.
"You know she did." Rose replied.
"Then why mess with her?"
"Because it's fun." Rose smiled wickedly, a glint in her eye. Al face-palmed. "Oi..."
"What?" Al asked, playing dumb. Rose started mumbling under her breath. "Rude." Al continued, locking Rose into a loving grip. The Weasley squirmed to get out, but eventually relented, kissing him. Cynthia muttered something into James' ear.
"And what was that, may I ask, Cynthia?" Rose declared. Cynthia looked innocent.
"Just wondered how yours and Al's bond changed and you developed romantic feelings for each other, as all." the sixth-year replied. Rose's façade melted.
"I don't know how really it changed on my part. I guess in the middle of our third-year my hormones started to kick in, and Al was always there, by my side as a friend and cousin. My hormones thought 'Al is a great guy. Maybe...' and next thing you know, I developed a minor crush on him." the fourth-year girl smiled. Heat warmed Al's face. "You never knew that I was crushing on you?" Rose pondered. Al shook his head.
"I'll admit, I didn't know. During the third summer, you kept visiting more, and like you, my hormones kicked in. I knew you were a girl, of course, but only then did I see you more as 'Rose' than 'sweet little Rosie, my closest cousin'. Not that I don't anymore. I think of you as my beautiful girlfriend and my sweetest cousin." Al finished. Rose's eyes misted over with emotion as she fought not to cry with joy.
"Well at least you're not as thick as my dad." she laughed.
"I know. He didn't even notice Aunt Hermione was a girl until their fourth-year." James said. Cynthia then preceeded to roll around on the floor laughing.
"Erm...?" asked Hugo, who had entered the void of hilarity a few seconds afterward. "Do I dare ask?" he said, wondering what was going on. Cynthia laughed harder.
"I don't think you want to. She insulting where we came from." Rose mock-scowled.
"Oh." Hugo replied shortly. James gave Cynthia the Heimlich.
"If James drags you over to the Burrow this break, do not, and I repeat, not, joke around about my parents' schooldays relationship." Rose declared.
"Yeah yeah..." Cynthia mused mockingly. Rose tapped her foot menacingly. "Eep."
"'Eep' indeed." Al supplied, noticing the look in Rose's eyes. Hugo nodded, agreeing. Soon enough, the train pulled into platform 9¾, Al and Rose pointedly looking away as James whispered something in Cynthia's ear and then kissed her full on the mouth before she went off to join her parents. When James sensed Al and Rose's diverted looks, he shot them a glance of his own. The related couple couldn't help but giggle. Lily and Hugo looked torn between laughing and fake-vomiting too.
"I assure you that I will murder you all." James uttered with fake malice.
"Oh no you won't, mister." Ginny ordered.
"But mo-ther!" James cried in an attempt at a pompous tone. "Albus Severus and Rose Portia are giggling like madmen!" he whined. Rose whistled innocently.
"Who, us?" Al asked, his bright-green eyes shining with mischief. "Never!"
"And James!" Rose declared. "I've always been a good girl and abided rules!" James mouthed something, and Al had a sneaking suspicion what that something was.
Rose parted from Al with a very light kiss on the cheek so it looked 'cousinly' and followed Ron and Hermione home. Lily gave Al soothing words of comfort as she saw just how down he looked on the Potters' way home.
"Don't worry. You'll see her very soon. One perk of dating a family member." she whispered very low in Albus' ear. "What was it that James mouthed?"
"I'm not going to tell you out loud. Just come into my room when we get home, and I swear it'll be clear to you." Al mumbled, blushing. Lily got a look in her eye, grinning. Luckily, James couldn't hear them. Later on, Lily walked into Al's room when they got home. In Ginny's mind, now it was Christmas, despite the fact she hadn't heard Al's and Lily's recent conversation, Al's words from late August echoed in her head. She couldn't figure out why, but she got the feeling that those words were important.
"So? What's the deadly secret?" Lily pondered, her brown eyes questioning.
"Look at my neck, Lil. Seeing as you're only twelve, you're lucky I'm showing you."
"You're only fourteen." Lily bit back. Al sighed, knowing he'd been beat, and pulled his collar down, revealing his nape. It took Lily a second, but she clicked. "Is that what I think? Albus Severus Potter, is that a faded hickey?" she asked. Al blushed.
"Rose was going crazy." he mumbled. "And James knows about it." he continued.
"James mouthed about that, didn't he? " Lily asked, shaking her head, a very slight glint in her eye. Al nodded. Ginny's voice sounded for dinner.
"I wonder how Dom's getting on with her Head Girl duties." Ginny wondered.
"Oh she's getting on swimmingly. Putting down evil whenever she finds it." Al said.
"Well, you're the exception. She can't seem to put you down." Lily smirked.
"Marauder blood?" Harry asked. Green eyes met green, and Al laughed.
"What's this about Al being evil?" Ginny scolded. James, Al and Lily chuckled. "I'm worried now." Ginny mumbled. If all three laughed together, it meant something bad.
"Oh dear." Albus pretended to whimper. Lily held back a snort. Suddenly Teddy and Dom tumbled out of the fireplace.
"Hello?" Dom called. "Al, dearest?" she called again, a laugh in her voice.
"Teddy, entertain your cheerleader." Albus called, walking into the front room to face the couple. The look of utter confusion on their faces was priceless in his eyes.
"Cheerleader?" Teddy asked. Al grinned an evil grin of evilness.
"Of course. But in your case, you'd be excited not because of the pom-poms, but of because your precious Dom-Dom." he snickered. It was impossible to tell what contained more redness - Teddy's morphed hair, or Dom's cheeks. "Oh, awww!"
"You watch it, Potter." Dom said as Harry and Ginny came to see the visiting couple. "If we could let loose what we know-"
"You wouldn't!" Al protested, begging his cousin. Dom smiled, letting him off. "Phew."
"Is he up to no good?" Harry queried. Dom laughed.
"You could say that..." she trailed, letting Harry and Ginny's minds to run loose.
"But if I remember, you're commiting sins too, Dom." James laughed. "Isn't she?"
"Ah yes, she definitely is." Al smirked, high-fiving his brother.
"What sins?" Dom asked, curious about what plot the boys had hatched on her.
"You'll find out soon enough." Al said.
"How can you know things about me that I don't know about myself?"
"Hermione knew more about me than I did in first-year." Harry commented.
"Different situation, dear." Ginny chuckled. Teddy tickled Dom, who laughed.
"Rose was right. Teddinique for sure." Al snickered. Dom sent him a death-glare.
"Right! Teddy, we're leaving!" she commanded jokingly.
"Just as well, we want to spend quality time together. See you lot at the joke shop, no doubt." Teddy smiled, vanishing in a whirl of green. James was on the floor.
"That was epic, Al. You beat Dom at her own game!" he chortled. A few days before Christmas Eve, a fair few of the Weasley clan and their friends were running around the chaos that was Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. A notable occasion that occured was that Lysander got into danger. The silly boy had crashed into one of the aisles, and in his own unique way had swallowed a product.
"Your teeth!" Luna exclaimed, bending down to inspect her son.
"Boy, that's great stuff." Lysander mumbled, grinning.
"That's exploding candy for your enemies. Great idea, isn't it? Not ready yet, though. Too still weak though, needs more gelignite." George commented while running over to help Luna pull Lysander up. "I apologise for that, Luna." he said.
"No problem." Luna said, a grin on her face - she knew humour when she saw it.
"Exploding candy for your enemies, you say? Useful invention." Harry laughed. "Lee should have used that on Umbridge instead of the Nifflers, had you come up with it then."
George let out a mighty chuckle. "It wasn't that funny." Harry protested.
"Harry m'boy, that was a genius thought." George disagreed, still laughing.
"You sounded like Slughorn just then." Harry grimaced. Soon enough, Al was tossing and turning in his sleep, wanting to see Rose the next day. It'll be a shock when we announce we're together on New Year's Eve he thought. Al had wanted to tell the family on Christmas Day, but Rose put that idea down, wanting to keep them in the dark a little longer, and not spoil the festive day. Rose's hugs are the best things I could get as a Christmas present. Al thought dreamily as he finally drifted off.
"Rose dear can you get the door?" Molly Senior called as she heard a knock the following day, definitive it would be another branch of the Weasley clan.
"Sure." Rose replied, walking to the door to open it and not leave the visitors out in the cold. Of course, Rose also had a gut feeling who it was at the door. She smiled.
"Albie!" she beamed, throwing her arms round her favourite cousin. Ginny laughed.
"We know Al's your best friend in the world, but what about us, hmm?" she chided.
"Sorry Aunt Ginny." Rose smiled sheepishly, hugging her aunt and uncle. "Hey Jamie. Hi Lils." she chuckled, throwing an arm each around James and Lily.
"Let's walk into the land of the living, shall we?" Al chuckled. The Weasley Christmas offically kicked off with a lot of chaos and hullabaloo. Al and Rose kept sneaking secret glances at each other, each one looking away the second their eyes met. It was like they were smitten third-years. Dom noticed once, though. And yelled loudly.
"ROSE WEASLEY HAS BEEN CORRUPTED!" she bellowed. Ron's and Hermione's necks snapped lightning-fast.
"What?!" Hermione hissed. Dom put on her 'little angel' demanour.
"Nothing Aunt Hermione. Just a little joke." Dominique giggled. Rose's ears were burning, very fiercely. Damn inheriting this pesky ear thing from Dad! she thought.
"Are you sure it's a joke, Dom?" Hermione wondered. Dom nodded. Rose let out a breath she half-knew she was holding. She stomped over to the present Head Girl.
"Dominique Grace? A word?" she demanded. Dom sighed and followed Rose.
"What's going on Rosie? I'm just fooling." the older girl said.
"You better be. I don't want the whole family to know before Al and I are ready to confess. And shouting 'Rose Weasley has been corrupted' makes it sound like... I've done the dirty deed." Rose trailed to a whisper, blushing. "At fourteen, Dom."
"Oh Merlin." Dom said, the reality hitting her over the head. "Oh Rose... I wasn't thinking. I promise to you I won't joke anymore. And you're only a few months away from fifteen, right? Oh damn, that may not be a good point to make."
"No, it doesn't swing your argument." Rose replied, a hint of a smile on her face. Dom hugged Rose. "I forgive you." Rose mumbled, her face slanted sideways into her cousin's ponytail. "Now however hard you want to, do not flick that thing into my face." Rose continued to mumble, still blocked by some hair. Dom whined playfully. The Burrow was bustling again on New Year's Eve. Al randomly bumped into Rose in a secluded room this time after arriving.
"Hey lover." he smirked, kissing her nose. Rose lit up like a beacon. "You..."
"What about you? Randomly making me blush like this with-"
"With my unchallenged vigour?" Al teased. Rose lovingly rubbed his neck. "Oh Rosie-Posie, my Rose-flower, acting lovey-dovey in our grandparents' house is-"
"Forbidden? Perhaps, but remember we're telling the whole family later." Rose whispered with a coy smile. Al's face went a variety of colours. First green from possible sickness, white from nervousness, and then red from embarassment.
"You looked like the Italian flag!" Rose giggled. Al rolled his eyes.
"Did I? Well the Italians are known for being suckers for romance." he pointed out.
"Save your love, my darling, save your lurrrve..." Rose hummed, a bit embarassed that she blurted out a corny Muggle song. Albus face-palmed, and hugged her.
"Enough with the Italian stereotype, and furthermore, we won't be saving ours. And by saving I mean hiding like it's some of sort of... now let me see if I can find the right words here..." Al trailed. Rose giggled at his speech and the look of concentration. "Ah, found them. Some sort of... unholy, sordid affair." Al said in a mock-posh voice. "Shush you. Close that trap so I can do this!" Rose demanded, feverishly kissing her cousin with all her might. Al purred something indistinguishable back. It was only when Albus tickled Rose's spine did she pull away. After the make-out session, the couple walked into the living room, catching James' eye. He gave a barely visible smirk. Albus nodded slightly. But the prankster spirit came alive in James just then.
"Right!" James hollered. Al tackled him, pinning him to the floor. Ginny ran in.
"What's going on? What scuffle have they gotten into this time, Rose?" she asked her niece. Rose smiled bashfully. "Come on, out with it." Ginny half-demanded.
"Aunt Ginny, I think it's best you cool down the party for a while and bring the family in." Rose replied, glancing at Al immediately afterwards, who straightened up. Soon every member of the tumultous Weasley clan was sitting down in the kitchen.
"Right, I'm glad we paused the party for a while." Al said, getting up. Rose smiled.
"What New Year's Resolution are you telling us early, Al?" Harry half-laughed.
"Well... your resolution has to be not to get mad Dad." Al replied uneasily. "Rose-flower, want to help me out here?" he grinned. Dom caught on what they were doing, and true to her word at Christmas, gave them a helpful question to be sure.
"Al, are you-"
"Yes, Dom." Al responded as Rose walked over to him, smiling her head off.
"What's going on?" Hermione and Ginny asked together. Dom gave a helpful grin.
"Everybody, both Rose and I have found significant others each year." Al said, a lump in his throat. All the adults clapped, unaware of the bombshell that would drop.
"And... the thing is... er..." Rose stammered. Al rubbed her back encouragingly. "Well, we're the other's sweetheart. Me and Albus are an item." Rose said timidly. You could have heard a pin drop. Everybody was silent. Shock washed over them.
"What - the - HELL." Harry hissed. Al looked at his father, green meeting green again in a pleading gesture. "Albus, Rose, a word in the living room, now. Hermione, close the door." Harry continued to hiss - you have thought he was speaking Parseltongue, but you could tell he had taken Al's pleading on board. Ginny and Hermione had gotten angry too, and now the redhead was dragging Al, the brunette dragging Rose, straight into the living room for what promised to be a very heated discussion. Within a minute, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione were facing a guilty-faced Al and Rose. Ginny was the first to speak.
"What the hell is going on, Albus? You just said you'd found a significant other."
"That's right Mum. And it's Rose. I'm glad to be dating her." Al replied, kissing Rose.
"OK..." Hermione trailed, shocked at the sight of her nephew and her daughter kissing in a clearly romantic way. "I can't agree to this, it's illegal." Al's face dropped.
"But Aunt Hermione, I love her!"
"The 'I love her' stuff just furthers your aunt's side of things." Harry growled. "You're cousins. Cousins shouldn't hook up, it's immoral."
"But-"
"Save it Rose." Ron proclaimed, speaking for the first time. "You're going to end it."
"Why are they making such a big deal?" Al muttered.
"I don't know." Rose half-grinned, pulling him closer lovingly. Ginny turned white.
"Drop the bombshell, then." Al smirked. Hermione turned white then as well.
"Another one?" the bushy-haired woman choked out. "As well as this?"
"I won't stand for this, you hear me?" Ron hissed.
"Too right Ron." Harry continued.
"But Uncle Harry-" Rose began to sputter.
"Whatever you've got to say won't help, Rose." Harry said moodily.
"Your paternal grandmother was a Black before marriage." she rushed out. It took a moment for the penny to drop, but when recognition crossed Harry's face, he froze. Then he let loose a hideous string of foul expletives.
"-damn!" he finished. Despite the air being turned blue, Al and Rose were smiling.
"I don't get it." Hermione coughed, shocked by Harry's unholy curse words.
"With my paternal grandmother being a Black, it means I'm related in blood to the Weasleys." Harry said, still shaky. Ginny's jaw dropped.
Al had a 'ha-ha' expression on his face, and he high-fived Rose in another cuddle.
"Well now you're well and truly part of the family, mate!" Ron grinned, pleased.
"Ron? It means I'm related to my wife." Harry countered. "Out of curiousity, how..."
"Third-cousins. You're both great-great-grandchildren of Phineas Nigellus." Rose said, looking Harry and Ginny straight in the eye, both who looked ready to be sick.
"See? How can you penalise me for dating my cousin when I was born out of an incestual union?" Albus pointed out. Hermione shook herself out of her reverie.
"Who revealed all of the family tree and worked it out for you?"
"Cynthia Goldstein did." Rose said.
"Merlin, the look on James' face when we told him about the third-cousins thing. Or come to think of it, his reaction to us being together." Al mused. Ginny inhaled.
"James knows about you two? Well I suppose that means that Hugo and Lily-"
"They know too, Aunt Gin." Rose half-smiled. "James called Al 'twisted' at first."
"I can't blame him." Ron said, glaring daggers at Al.
"I guess I can come to terms with it." Hermione sighed, half-smiling. Rose hugged her mother, gratitude flooding through her, seeing her mum could be open-minded.
"Because of the pure-blood intermarrying, we can't really blame Al." Harry sighed, finally calming down. A light-bulb suddenly went off in Hermione's complex brain.
"It all of a sudden occurs to me that I see a pattern." she said. Rose smiled.
"You could be right, Mum. If your thoughts are correct, I saw that pattern too."
"Harry married Ginny, who shares his mother's hair colour, and now..."
"Oh no." Ginny moaned, holding her head in her hands. Harry then got a lightbulb.
"I think I heard about something like that... called the Oedipus complex, right?"
"That's right. And seeing as Al's had issues with your fame in the past, Uncle Harry, he's a classic case." Rose almost laughed. "And because of Aunt Ginny, you had mild traits in your teenage years."
"You know what, Rose? Looking at it in a new open-minded light, you two do look kind of good together." Ginny said.
"Thanks. You're nearly echoing what James said once he calmed down." Rose said.
"Who can we trust more to take care of our Rosie than her own cousin?" Hermione asked, ruffling Al's hair. Ron gave a half-hearted smile. "We support it." the adults chorused. Rose leapt into Al's arms, and he swung her around before kissing her.
AN: Sorry to some readers who may be peeved with my near-enough-skipping from Christmas to New Year's Eve in a flash, but I wanted to write Al and Rose's unveiling sooo bad! Did that scene at the end with the Golden Trio and Ginny have just the right mix of emotions as I'd envisioned? Because it was the bit I'd had planned in my head most as far as writing this whole chapter was concerned. And Al and Rose weren't asking for permission to date, they were just calming the adults down. I took advantage of Harry's temper, right? As for Ron's limited part... I don't think I write him well enough when I do so, and he's not my favourite of the Golden Trio anyway.
