Winter, 1937, Des Moines, Iowa

Matthew sat back against the wall on his bunk as Alfred slept on his own. He couldn't sleep that night. In fact, Matthew had been having trouble sleeping since his first asthma attack. He had never been more terrified in his life over the fact that he couldn't breathe. He had never related more to the phrase "fish out of water" in his entire life. And even though he was treated for it, he was so scared that it would happen again.

He sighed and hugged his white teddy bear close to him. "Kumajiro…" he sighed to it. "I ruined my brother's life, didn't I?" He frowned. Why did he have to get involved in Alfred's love life?

Ever since the day of Matthew's asthma attack, not only was Alfred always careful and cautious around him, but he was also mopey. Alfred used to always be happy and bouncy and full of life. Nowadays, Alfred would choose to walk instead of run. He would always look over his shoulder for Matthew, treating him as if he were some breakable object instead of the brother that he used to wrestle and spar with in the open fields in the summertime. How Matthew wished they could go back to those days before this past summer had happened!

A tear slid down Matthew's cheek as he snuggled that worn out bear closer to him. He didn't care that he was fifteen and still snuggled a teddy bear. Right now, that's what he needed. His heart felt like it was broken, but he didn't know why. He felt jealous, but he didn't know what he was jealous of.

"Was Alfred really in love?" he whispered to Kumajiro. He knew the bear couldn't talk back, but it still felt better to talk to something. "I wonder what it's like to be in love, Kumajiro…" He thought for a moment, but realized something that he didn't know if it made him sad or not. "I don't think I'll ever fall in love. I don't think I want to…I just...I don't think that kind of stuff is for me."

He began to question himself. Why did he think that? Why wasn't love for him? He had seen his parents in love. He had seen Alfred in love. Didn't he want something like that for himself one day? Why didn't he see himself falling in love one day? Why didn't he want to fall in love? Or did he want to fall in love, but was scared no one would love him back?

That was too much for his mind to comprehend so late at night. He decided to lay down and sleep, tucking his bear in next to him. "Goodnight, Kumajiro," he softly said to the bear. "You really do give the best advice, you know that? Even if you are full of stuffing."

.

Mid-June, 1942, Paris, France

Matthew sat with Alfred in a bar, both brothers bored out of their minds. They didn't even know why they were there. Neither of them were interested in drinking. The other guys from the base kinda just dragged them there, so they went along to take the drunk ones back later on. The bartender kept giving the two of them weird looks that made both of them uncomfortable. Neither had to say a word to the other to know how they felt about it.

Alfred sighed. "I want to go back to London," he said to Matthew. "I don't like it here. Arthur was right. The French aren't all that great, and their accents are nauseating."

"Watch it," Matthew warned, glancing over at him. "My mother was French Canadian. She had an accent just like this."

"Then all French accents but Genevieve Williams's," Alfred corrected, causing Matthew to smile. "I just don't like it here. I want to go back to London."

"I want to go back to Russia," Matthew softly said, his voice barely heard over the rest of the troops in the bar. "Irunya is waiting for me…" He thought of when he left her, sleeping in her bed. She had looked so peaceful. He didn't want to imagine how much her heart had ached when she woke up alone in the morning. "I need to return for her."

Alfred blinked at him. "You really are in love, Mattie. I knew it." He smiled knowingly. "I'm glad that you can understand how it feels now."

"But now I know the pain of what it's like to be so far from the one you love," Matthew sighed, tracing small hearts on the table with the fingertip of his index finger. "I can't stand it, Al! I want to see her so bad. I need to know if she's okay. It's been a month, and I can't stand it. I feel like I can't breathe. I'm suffocating without her."

"Oh, Mattie, you've got it bad," Alfred sighed. He let out a low whistle. "You know, maybe you do need a drink." Alfred raised a hand to wave over the bartender.

"Alfred, I swear to God, I will fucking castrate you if you wave that god-awful bartender over here," Matthew threatened, jaw clenched in fury. "I mean it."

Alfred grinned easily at his brother. "Oh, Mattie, you're scared of him? What's there to be scared of?"

Matthew felt uneasy, feeling the bartender's eyes on them. He glanced over to see the French man's blue eyes trying to meet with his and quickly looked away. "I just don't like the vibe he give is all," he sighed. "Al, I just really want to leave. Can we go?"

Both brothers looked toward the door when they heard a shriek come from a young girl outside, followed by a man yelling in French. Matthew was horrified when he heard what the man was saying.

"Alfred, I don't care who that girl is, we have to help her, and we have to go now," he said, standing up. Before even he knew what was going on, he ran to the door, Alfred on his heels. "Wait a minute, isn't that…"

And right there, before his eyes, Matthew saw a girl he had only seen once in his life, a girl he never would have dreamed to see in this sort of situation. Her skirt was torn from the man tugging on it and her silky, black hair hung to her waist instead of being tied up properly. Tears poured from her pretty, blue eyes as she stared at the man, terrified. It was none other than Arthur's old nanny, Victoria.

Alfred ran to her and stood between her and the man. "Leave her alone," he snarled to the man, looking more angry than Matthew had seen him in years. He had his teeth barred and everything. If he were foaming at the mouth, Matthew could have compared him to a rabid dog.

Matthew walked over to her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Victoria, it's Captain Williams. I don't know if you remember me, but I am a friend of Arthur's. You are safe now. We're going to take you home, okay?"

Victoria turned to him and threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder, terrified. "You remind me of Alfred," she softly said once she was calm. "You look so much like him."

Matthew smiled. "Victoria, Alfred is right in front of us. He won't let that guy hurt you anymore."

Suddenly the man's fist met with Alfred's face, sending Alfred stumbling back into Matthew and Victoria. Matthew's pent up anger at being transferred to France and having to put up with that obnoxious bartender all night flared up inside of him and he passed Victoria on to Alfred and asked him to calm her down. No one punched his little brother, especially after harassing a kind young girl like Victoria!

Matthew laid into the man, swearing at him repeatedly in French as he punched him over and over in the face. It was like he was an entirely different person when he was this angry. He could barely hear Alfred begging him to stop. He could barely hear Victoria sobbing behind him. All he could focus on was damaging this man the way he damaged Victoria and Alfred.

Alfred finally grabbed him under the arms and pinned him. "Mattie, stop!" he shouted. "I think he gets it!"

Matthew was breathing heavily as he looked around him and realized how many people were now watching what was going on. Every man in their battalion was watching, along with everyone else who was in the bar, including the bartender. Every person on the street was watching. People were leaning out of windows that lined the streets. No one said a words. There was only dead silence.

"Let's just take Victoria back to her dorm, okay?" Alfred suggested. "And then let's get back to the base. I think you need to sleep. All of these sleepless nights are really getting to you, huh, Captain?" He nodded to everyone. "There's nothing to see here, folks. Go back to living your merry lives."

Matthew felt himself being ushered away by Alfred and Victoria, who seemed to have recovered by this point. He let them lead him down the street, away from all of the madness that had happened.

"Mattie, you could've killed that guy!" Alfred nearly shouted once they were a few streets away. "I get that you were trying to help Victoria, but that was too far. And I thought Canadians were peaceful, eh?"

Matthew scowled at him. "If you could've heard his intentions for Victoria you would've done the same," he snarled. "I don't regret what I did, and I don't care if I get demoted. I did what was right."

"He's been like this ever since he fell in love," Alfred said to Victoria. "It's his first time ever."

"You're in love, Captain?" Victoria asked, raising her eyebrows in interest. "Who might be the lucky lady who holds your heart, if I may ask?"

"Her name is Irunya Chernenko, and she is a goddess," Matthew said. "She lives in Russia."

Victoria smiled brightly. "Well she sounds lovely."

Matthew smiled. "She is." He thought back to that perfect smile of hers. A smile found its way to his face and he felt that familiar swell in his chest that he got every time he thought of her. He had never been in love, but he loved this feeling.

Alfred led the way to Victoria's dorm, with her giving him directions. He kept an arm linked with hers so no one would bother her. Then again, Matthew doubted anyone would mess with any girl who was being escorted by two military personnel. Especially one who had made such a scene on a street.

When they had reached the dorm, Alfred knelt down and kissed Victoria's hand. "Give Arthur and Leon my regards," he softly told her. "And if you ever have another late class, let me know in advance. In fact, how about you let me see your schedule, and I will escort you home after every class?" He stood back to his full height and smiled. "It would be no bother to me."

Victoria nodded. "Of course. Please, come inside. I cannot invite you past the front door, but it's safer than the streets, I can assure you." She opened the door and gestured the brothers inside. "I will return in a moment."

Matthew looked around and then saw a few girls peeking at him and Alfred from some of the doors that were slightly cracked open. He had never really noticed girls as females until after Irunya, but now it was like he was hitting puberty all over again. And this time, he was hitting it "properly". Yet every time he thought of a girl in that way, he thought of Irunya's face instead of any other girl. And eventually Irunya's perfect body replaced any other body type Matthew's mind could imagine. For the rest of the time Matthew was imagining women, it was only Irunya, which he had absolutely no problem with at all.

Victoria returned to them moments later. "This is my schedule for late classes," she said, handing Alfred a piece of paper. "Sorry it took so long. I just decided to write down when I get out of class and where so you can just pick me up."

Alfred smiled at her. "Thank you kindly, ma'am." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it as Matthew did the same with her other. "Until we meet again, Victoria. And please, give them my regards."

"I certainly will, Private Jones," Victoria said with a smile. "Captain Williams," she said, grabbing his sleeve when he turned to leave, causing him to turn back to leave. "Thank you for what you did for me tonight. Even if you went too far, I still appreciate the gesture. Irunya Chernenko is so fortunate to have a man like you." She blushed. "I hope that one day I can find a man even half as great."

"Don't settle for any less," Matthew told her, smiling back. "And thank you, Victoria. I hope that our paths cross again. If I am permitted, I would enjoy walking you home with my brother."

"I would enjoy that as well, Captain," Victoria said, grinning. She curtseyed to both men. "And I bid you both goodnight."

.

The next morning, Matthew was called into a commanding officer's office. He knew what it was about. It was for beating a civilian senseless.

"Williams, I assume you know why you're here," Officer Delacroix stated.

Matthew nodded. "Oui, Monsieur," he stated.

"You realize you can be demoted for assaulting random civilians, correct?" he asked Matthew. "We have it here that you did not even look into the situation before completely laying into this man."

"That is untrue, Monsieur," Matthew stated, standing his ground. "He had plans to kidnap and rape a civilian woman, and he assaulted one of my men."

"It was that retarded one, wasn't it?" the officer asked. Matthew felt his jaw clench as the officer went on. "I don't see why you waste your time with that hot-headed guy anyway. He's just going to end up hurting himself or someone else. I don't see how they let someone like him in the forces."

"With all due respect, Private Jones is my younger brother," Matthew slowly stated. "That is why he was transferred into my unit. Because I can work well with him."

"But still, that civilian woman is none of your concern. It's not like you knew her."

"With all due respect, I do know her, Monsieur," Matthew stated. "She was the nanny of a friend of mine." He felt he was getting out of line, yet he didn't really care at that moment. Officer Delacroix had called Alfred retarded, and that was something Matthew would not stand for. "I know her."

"Stand down, Captain," Delacroix commanded, glaring at Matthew. He stood up, a few inches taller than Matthew. "Or do you forget your place?"

Matthew held Delacroix's gaze evenly. He had no idea where all of this confidence was coming from, but he was glad to have it at that moment in time. It was all he could do to keep from trembling where he stood, to keep from passing out on the spot out of sheer intimidation. Ever since he lost his virginity he felt like a part of him had died and become a new him, a better him.

Delacroix smirked at him. "You have balls, kid," he commented to Matthew. "I respect that in someone your age. I'll let your misdemeanor slide this once. If I ever hear of something like that again, you're demoted, got it?"

"Oui, Monsieur," Matthew stated, saluting the superior officer.

Delacroix patted him on the back, chuckling to himself. "Good, now get back to training."

Matthew quickly left that office, not wanting to awkwardly stand in the presence of Delacroix any longer. He was done with all that. Yet he was surprised at how easily he got away with that. And how easily he got away with disrespecting a superior officer. It seemed like ever since he started seeing himself as more of a man, he began to get treated more like a man. And he enjoyed that more than almost anything in the world. Almost. Irunya still came first.