Chapter 7 – Brienne
All the joy and happiness of the dragon ride went out of the window when they arrived back at Winterfell. Things quickly went south. As was to be somewhat expected, the dragon queen had a meltdown. "How dare you take one of my dragons! You disobeyed one of my direct orders and acted without my permission. You are released of your duties as my hand. Ser Varys you can take over!" Varys raised an eyebrow, nodded but otherwise looked somewhat unimpressed. Tyrion threw his pin on the floor. "There will be a trial after the battle. As for you Ser Jaime I think you are either very brave or very stupid coming here. Or you have ulterior motives. You killed my father and even tried to kill me a few months ago! What on earth makes you think I would trust you of all people? Now – and I want you to answer truthfully – what is the real reason for you coming here – on your own, without an army and - supposedly - against the wishes of your queen?"
"I made a promise and I intend to keep it" Jaime said stoically, unphased by her antics. "I will not discuss the matter of your father's death with you here in front of everyone. Perhaps something for a private conversation later." The dragon queen scoffed. "There is nothing more to say it's quite clear what you did. You are the kingslayer everyone in the seven kingdoms knows that. You were a fool coming here. I wasn't going to let this happen, but your brother had other ideas and acted against my will and knowledge."
Then Lady Sansa spoke. "Speaking of our fathers - do you have anything to say in your defence of attacking my father in the streets of Kings Landing?"
"I was defending and protecting my family. I would do it all again if I had to." he remained defiant. The queen and Sansa gave each other a knowing look. Brienne's heart sank. On the one hand she was proud of him for not bowing down to these women, but he wasn't helping himself. All this for nothing. She should not have gone after him and Tyrion should have listened to his mad queen. She was going to execute Jaime for sure. Something had to be done. She shocked herself but her love for him overcame her shyness. She stood up, walked up to stand next to Jaime, just stopping short of taking his hand. She took a deep breath and began: "Dear Lady Sansa, your Grace, please may I interject?"
Daenerys nodded, Sansa smiled and said: "Of course Lady Brienne. Please go ahead."
"I have known Ser Jaime for many years now and know his nature to be brave and gallant. He is not in the habit of lying and is actually a man of honour. He saved me from gang rape when we were both captured by Locke and his men, losing his hand as a result."
Dany and Sansa looked at each other. A murmur went around the room. This was new information to most of them.
"He also rescued me from being mauled and killed by a bear – an amusement the men had arranged for their entertainment – one-handed and without any weapons I might add."
"It seems you need a lot of rescuing for someone who is sworn to protect others." the dragon queen mocked.
Brienne continued undeterred. "He also took the castle at Riverrun without bloodshed."
"Oh did he? That's interesting. Seems unlike him to miss out on an opportunity to fight. Why did he do that do you think?"
Brienne blushed. "Because I asked him to."
Dany rolled her eyes and sighed. "Tell me sweet girl, how long have you loved this man?"
Brienne's cheeks turned a deep crimson colour now and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
"This is ridiculous. Clearly, she is biased and therefore cannot be used as a reliable witness. If there is anyone else here who wants to speak in defence of Ser Jaime, please make yourself known." She looked around the room. Tyrion got up to speak. "No need Lord Tyrion you are his brother and therefore also compromised." He sat back down, dejected.
"No one? If there is no one else, then, Ser Jaime Lannister, I sentence you to die as a traitor and a spy. Guards take him to the dungeons!"
Sansa chuckled. "Your Grace we don't have any dungeons here at Winterfell."
"Really? What sort of a castle is this? Just place him under arrest them. Put him in the crypts or somewhere where he cannot escape."
"Your Grace please forgive me, but I think it's foolish to not let Ser Jaime at least fight for us in the battle. You know his abilities on the battlefield better than I do and surely agree that he will be of value? For this he will need to be able to train with the rest of the troops and take part in war councils. If you still wish to execute him after the battle, then that option will still be there. Also, I trust Lady Brienne and believe her account. She rescued me from the Boltons and has been a loyal servant ever since. I trust her with my life. I believe she is telling the truth about him." Sansa gave Brienne a reassuring look.
Brienne could tell the dragon queen was furious. She had clearly already planned his execution (possibly by dragon fire?) but Sansa's advice was sage, and she could not deny that. 'God bless Lady Sansa!' Brienne thought.
"Alright." Daenerys said reluctantly. "Ser Jaime – you are free to go but you must remain in Winterfell. Your execution will be postponed until after the great war is over. Perhaps you can prove your worth and your loyalty to me on the battlefield, and I will mitigate your sentence to exile."
Brienne breathed an audible sigh of relief. She was still embarrassed however about having had her feelings for Ser Jaime exposed in this way and rushed away flustered. She could no longer hold in her emotions and did not want to cry in front of everyone. She did not dare even look at Jaime and therefore did not see him looking worried at her exiting in this fashion.
She ran to her quarters, sat down and cried. She couldn't take it anymore. All her thoughts, doubts and fears came flooding in. She went over it once more. He had come to Winterfell against his queen's wishes…. does this mean he had left her in other ways too? And why? She was suddenly very scared. She was prepared for everything but not this. She was comfortable bickering with him, each supporting the respective sides they fought for, safe in the knowledge nothing would ever happen between them. But now…him having left Cersei…this changed everything. They were on the same side now, both fighting the same enemy…she could no longer hide behind this most convenient of barriers. He was free, and she was now suddenly "available" for him. Oh, it was too frightening a thought. This was very real now. All her life she did not want anything to do with boys or men. She hid behind her armour where it was safe. Safe from ridicule, mockery and rejection. She was scared of being used and rejected again, being made a joke of - again. They had shared a kiss yes – and oh what a kiss it was - but those were exceptional circumstances, a moment of great exhilaration and release for them both, so she put it down to them both getting carried away by the situation. He does not really like her in this way surely? That cannot possibly be. She desperately tried to recall last night's conversation, but it was all a blur. Everything had happened so quickly. And they hadn't slept. Did he say he loved her?! She could not remember clearly. She didn't think it was ever explicitly stated. She hated the idea of him toying with her and prayed that wasn't the case. Despite all the anxiety and fretting, her thoughts kept on coming back to that kiss. She kept on trying to relive it, she could still taste him on her lips. 'Oh, for goodness sake woman pull yourself together - it was not that good a kiss!' she scolded herself. She looked up in the mirror. She tried to make herself look more feminine by undoing some of the lacing on her doublet, she rearranged her hair, so it framed her face better, but nothing worked. It was no use. She was ugly Brienne and that was that. Who was she kidding? Who would want her? Certainly not Jaime Lannister the handsome golden lion.
Pod enters and interrupts her in her self-pity.
"My lady – Ser Jaime wishes to see you."
"Pod I can't face him right now. I can't do this anymore."
Pod looked puzzled and confused. "But I thought you would be happy – I saw him kiss you when we were riding on the dragon. I am sure he loves you my lady!"
"Pod, you are a very kind and gentle boy, but there are some things in life you don't understand. There are no happy endings in this world. Things are very complicated between me and Ser Jaime. Yes, we kissed but that was a spur of the moment thing…I don't want to get hurt, do you understand? If you were him who would you choose? The most beautiful woman in the world or big ugly Brienne – 'Brienne the Beauty'. There is no contest. We're not even in the same category, not even in the same league. I don't even have any decent clothes that I can wear to make myself more presentable to him." she sobs.
"I can ask Lady Sansa to see if you can borrow one of her dresses? She is tall." Pod helpfully suggested.
"Pod – I know you mean well, but her dresses would barely cover my knees – I would look ridiculous! I might just as well wear nothing." The moment she said that she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror again…and then an idea – a crazy idea – popped into her head. She took a deep breath, wiped away the tears, and calmed herself. "Tell him he can come and see me tonight after supper." Pod nodded and went on his way. Before closing the door, he looked back and said: "By the way my lady, if you don't mind me saying, if I were Ser Jaime I would choose you." Brienne smiled. He was such a sweet boy.
