Chapter 7. History repeating

Eli put the gun to his head, and his finger was on the trigger, and right as soon as he was about to pull it, his phone rang. Eli put the gun down and took out his phone. He only picked up because he thought it could have something to do with Clare, like that she was going to make it and she was ok. But his hope was gone once he realized it was his parents. "Hello?" Eli said, with no emotion in his voice whatsoever. "Eli, where the hell are you? We heard you left the therapists!" Bullfrog shouted. "I'm not going to tell you where I am, that would just ruin everything" Eli said. "What are you talking about?" "You'll find out eventually" Eli replied, making Bullfrog even more confused. "Please Eli, please just come home and Cece and I will try to help you" Bullfrog begged. Eli laughed a dull, humourless, laugh. "You will try? That's all you people ever do! You try and try but does that mean you will succeed? Does that mean anything? The nurses 'tried' to help Clare but they can't! Trying is obviously not good enough. NOTHING is good enough! EVER!" Eli screamed, hearing his voice echo in the meadow. Bullfrog was quiet for a little while. "Is that all you came to say? That you'll try? Because if it is, I have some serious things to deal with." "Eli, what are these serious things?" Bullfrog asked with concern in his voice. Eli sighed. "If I told you, it would ruin everything. So please don't ask again." "You're not thinking about hurting yourself, right?" Bullfrog asked, sounding slightly panicked. "No. Of course not. I'm just a little upset and I need some time to think by myself for a while. If that's ok with you" Eli replied, lying through his teeth. "Ok, just please come home soon. And if you need to talk or need a ride, just call me or Cece, k?" "Yeah, of course. Thanks Bullfrog" Eli said, pretending to sound happier, so Bullfrog wouldn't be as worried as before. "I love you Eli." "I love you too Bullfrog." Eli hung up. He now had tears streaming down his face. He still felt hopeless and lost, but he felt a bit better after talking to his dad. But he also felt worse because if he killed himself, Bullfrog and Cece would become depressed, not like the happy, cheerful people they usually are. Eli frowned and stared at the gun, now lying on the grass. He got up and started pacing in a circle, thinking. Thinking about everything good that has happened to live for. He thought about Cece and Bullfrog, the 2 people who meant the world to him. They gave him everything, and way more. They were the 2 best parents in the whole entire world. He also thought about Adam. His first real best friend who helped him through everything. The friend who made him feel better. The friend he loved and cared so much about. He then thought about Julia. Julia wouldn't want him to kill himself. She would want him to be happy and to live for the both of them, no matter how hard things were. He lastly thought about Clare. His amazing girlfriend. The one who helped him with his hoarding, and the one who was by his side, everyday of every hour. The girl who was so smart, beautiful, loving, kind, caring. Just downright amazing. He would do anything for her. He loved her with all of his heart. She meant the world to him. And if she was dead, he knew he couldn't continue living. He needed Clare in his life, she was like a part of him. And if that part was gone, there would be no more parts left. He would be like broken glass that no one could fix. This is how he came to decide his decision. He knew what he had to do. But first he took out his phone and texted Adam.

Eli G: Hey Adam, you there?

FunAdam: Yeah. Where are you? Your parents called like half an hour ago wondering where you were!

Eli G: Sorry about that. But I talked to my parents, I told them I just needed to be alone, and without anyone knowing where I was.

FunAdam: Eli... Why don't you want people to know where you are?

Eli G: I just don't. I don't want to get interrupted because I do really just need to be by myself.

FunAdam: Okkk... But are you ok?

Eli G: Yeah. I'm fine.

FunAdam: sooo... is there a reason you texted me or did you just want to talk?

Eli G: Actually I do have a reason I texted you. I would've called you but my voice sounds weird, because I cried so much today.

FunAdam: Awww (gives virtual hug)

Eli G: (Gives virtual smirk)

FunAdam: Lol... so tell me why you texted.

Eli G: I texted you because I really wanted to tell you that you're an amazing friend, best friend actually. And I'm so grateful that you're in my life. You helped me through so much. You even made me happy when I was feeling depressed. I love you so much, please know that.

FunAdam: Wow, that was... touching. But it kind of sounds like a suicide note, a little.

Eli G: Don't worry, it's not. I just felt like I had to tell you that.

FunAdam: Oh, well thanks. You're pretty amazing yourself especially how you helped me with the whole transgender thing.

Eli G: Well I guess I should go now. Talk to you later.

FunAdam: Yup. Ps. I love you too.

Eli G is offline

Eli shut his phone off and could barely think about what had just happened. Eli had lied straight to his best friend. Eli sobbed and curled into a ball on the ground, not caring that he looked like an idiot. After 10 minutes Eli got up.

He walked towards the gun on the ground. He picked it up slowly, and carefully. He put the gun to his head once more, and pulled the trigger, without hesitation. The last thing he ever heard again, was the boom from the gunshot. Eli was dead...