Her errands around town aren't all that secretive. She's just not sure how Derek will react, and she doesn't know if it will pan out like she hopes. Nora seems to disagree. "I saw how he is with Serenity, he'll love having her close by."
"Even if it means having me close by as well?" Casey pokes her head around the corner to look at the real estate agent who is patiently waiting. Honestly, she's probably relieved for the break. Casey has been incredibly picky with her choices and hasn't been the easiest client to deal with.
Nora hums into the phone, she's scrolling through the pictures of the house that Casey had e-mailed her. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." It's an older building, mostly made from brick. It's four bedrooms, with a huge back yard and a sizeable back deck. When she first saw the house, Casey thought she saw ghosts. She could practically see Serenity running through the halls, chasing after a chubby little toddler (that isn't the strange part, as she's always wanted another child; what made it uncomfortable was the image was another perfect blend of her and Derek's genes—she blamed it on all the time spent at Derek's apartment).
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"My darling daughter, you know I love you."
"Yes."
"And I'm not going to lie to you."
"Okay..."
Nora sighs, rather heavily, "And I get the feeling you're not quite ready for what I have to say to you, despite everything, but if I'm wrong then feel free to push the matter."
There's a long pause during which the realtor takes a call outside.
"What do you think of the house?" Casey asks. She can almost feel her mother's disappointment.
"It's beautiful. The price is right, and there's a lot we can do with the space if you're interested." Casey let's out a relieved breath. "Please go tell the realtor that you're interested so that she can at least feel like her time and effort with you was not wasted."
"I haven't even decided if I'm moving, yet."
"Yes, you have. We will miss you and Serenity being so near, but it's going to be good for her to get to know her dad. Also, George and I think that you should have opened up your own firm a long time ago." Nora gives Casey a moment to contemplate her words. "Casey, honey, it's okay to commit."
Casey gets the feeling that her mother isn't just talking about the move or the house.
...
The realtor turns out to be incredibly relieved that Casey wants to put an offer on the house. She keeps talking up all the "wonderful" and "just delightful" aspects of the home and neighborhood as they go through the paperwork as if she's not sure that Casey is going to go through with it.
Casey thinks it's a little unfair. It's not like she's been off and on about different houses; there just hadn't been one that she liked.
"Alright, and we'll have the rest when you come back in a couple of weeks." With the paperwork signed, Angela seems more relaxed.
"Great," Casey beams. "I'm looking for an office space. Do you think at that time we could—"
"Unfortunately," Angela is quick to cut her off, "I don't do commercial real estate, but I have a friend I can put you in touch with."
"But your card says—"
Angela picks up the paperwork, stacking it neatly as she offers Casey her packet. "Old card. Wasn't my thing; I'm sticking to houses. I'll be in touch." Then she practically shoves Casey out the door of the office with a cheerful, "I'll see you at closing!"
...
It's fun keeping a secret from Derek. She knows that he was expecting her to cave as quickly as she did in high school, but she's grown up since then. She kept Derek's parentage away from their family for eight years, she can keep Derek in the dark about her plans for a little while longer.
"More mysterious errands?" He asks when Casey confirms that she can stay with him when she comes back in a few weeks. It makes her smile.
"Maybe," she admits with a laugh. She follows her teasing with a moment of rare honesty. "I just don't like being away." It takes a lot for her to admit, and in the back of her mind, she knows she's not just talking about being away from her daughter. Since she reentered Derek's life, she's been as consumed with thoughts of him as she was in high school.
"My home is your home," he tells her casually, and she wishes that he knows how much those words mean to her.
Casey can feel her cheeks heat up, but she plays it off going back to her mystery errands. "My home is your home." She hopes he means it when she tells him she and Serenity will be moving to town.
...
The next weeks pass slowly. Angela puts Casey in touch with a fantastic realtor who sends Casey different office properties. She narrows it down to five that she'd like to see in person when she's next in town.
She still talks to Serenity and Derek every night, and she misses them both with every conversation.
A few days before she's meant to see them, Casey has a long conversation with Serenity.
"Are you enjoying spending the summer with your dad?"
"Mhm! We're going to the zoo tomorrow."
"That's exciting."
"Yeah!" Serenity chatters excitedly about the different animals she's most excited about seeing.
"Listen, hon, I know that you have a lot of friends here, and Aunt Marti and grandpa and grandma all live here, but I've been thinking that maybe it would be better if we moved a little closer to your dad, so when the summer is over, you can see him whenever you want. It would mean a new school, but you're a lot like your dad; you'll make new friends easy. He can't really move closer to us right now, either, so it makes the most sense." Not to mention, she owes him for all the years she kept Serenity away. It's only fair that she makes the sacrifice of moving. "But, I don't want to make this decision without you. I've found a house, and I'll be looking at office space when I'm there in a few days, but nothing is committed to, yet. So you tell me what you want."
Serenity is quiet for a moment, thinking and internalizing. "A new school would suck," she says thoughtfully, "but I'm really going to miss daddy when the summer is over."
"And we can come to visit grandma and grandpa, too," Casey assures her. "Maybe make some time to see some of your old friends while we're here."
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Do [i]you[/i] want to move closer to daddy?"
It's Casey's turn to think over the question. "Yeah," she says softly. "I think I do."
Serenity thinks it over for another minute. "I think it's a great idea."
"Great, but don't tell your dad. I want to surprise him. He's going to be so excited to be closer to you."
...
She avoids the topic with Derek. He tries to bring it up a few different times, especially as the end of the summer approaches. She knows he's getting antsy about having to send Serenity back. Casey doesn't tell him that she's researched schools near him, that she's picked a school, and that she's found a house. She's not entirely sure why she's so hesitant to tell him.
"You're going to have to tell him eventually. George says that Derek is trying to figure out how to make more visits out here during the hockey season, and he's going to drive himself crazy trying to fit little visits in here and there."
"I'm going to tell him," Casey says, defensively. "As soon as I find an office."
"Casey," Nora warns.
"I'll tell him. I'm staying at his apartment tomorrow when I go look at places. I'll find one and tell him before I come back."
"Don't put it off much longer."
...
Serenity is at ballet when Casey comes back from office searching. As she promised, she found the perfect office space to start up her own law firm. She's in a pretty good mood when she lets herself into Derek's apartment.
"Good, you're back." Derek is sitting on the couch when she comes through the door. Despite the haze of her good mood, she can tell he's grouchy. "We need to talk."
Whatever it is, she gets the feeling that she's not going to like it. Her smile falls, and she moves to sit on the opposite end of the couch from her stepbrother. "Oh?"
"Yes." She waits, patiently, while he looks at her expectantly.
"As much as you know I enjoy talking, Derek, you brought this up, so you're going to have to start us off."
"Right." He takes a deep breath, and then they sit in silence for another five minutes, Casey unwilling to break the silence first. It is always going to be a contest between the two of them. Finally, he gathers his thoughts. "Casey, I think I've been fairly patient about this, and I don't want things to get ugly," her brow goes up. He pauses. "I love Serenity. She is my daughter, and I didn't get to be there for the first eight years of her life. I don't want to miss anymore."
Casey waits, but he doesn't say anything more. "I'm not keeping you away from her, Derek, if that's what you're worried about."
He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Dammit, Casey. I want to know what the plan is! I have rights to see her, and you've been dancing around the question since you first found out she was here."
"Derek,"
"You owe me!"
Casey, irritated, jumped from her seat. He stood to face her, as well. "I don't [i]owe[/i] you anything. I admit that I made a mistake; I was young, and it was not the right thing to do, but I don't [i]owe[/i] you. You made your choices, too. You were the one who made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. I tried, Derek; I tried so many times to pick up the phone and call you, to tell you, because I thought you deserved to know."
She sniffs, realizing that tears are streaming down her cheeks. "I kept replaying everything you told me over and over in my head; I couldn't get it out. And I kept thinking about what your reaction would be when you heard from me, and what your reaction would be when I told you the truth. I'm sorry that I kept her from you, I really am, but you can't keep throwing it at me, and the blame is not mine alone!"
"You don't get to put the blame on me," Derek snaps. "If you had just told me, you wouldn't have had to guess at my reaction. You took her from me; I will never get that time back."
They both stand there, breathing heavily. Casey was trying to reign in her emotions. She knew that she was getting defensive. It was typical of them. In most situations, Casey would own up to her mistakes, she will work toward a solution. When it comes to Derek, however, her brain is wired to win, which means getting defensive and shoving his own failures back in his face.
"It's so typical," he says, irritably. "Rather than just fucking being straight with me, you have to push the blame on me. I know I fucked up, but it's nowhere near as bad as what you did." Casey flinches at the accuracy of his words.
"I don't know how I can make up eight years to you, Derek. You can't hold it against me forever."
He shrugs. "I don't know, maybe I can. I don't know that I can ever move past what you did. I just want to know that you aren't going to do it again."
"What did you mean when you said you don't want things to get ugly." Derek won't meet her eyes, and she feels sick in her stomach. "You're threatening to take me to court?"
"I don't think it will come to that, but—"
"I can't believe you were going to take me to court. What did you think that would achieve?"
"Whatever it takes to keep her in my life, Casey."
She can't help it; she shoves him. It's not hard, and it's more to put distance between them than anything, but it hurts. "I can't believe—"
"What am I supposed to do, Casey, you won't tell me anything. You won't commit to some kind of plan."
She turns to leave, yanking her arm out of his grasp when he tries to stop her. Casey snatches her purse as she heads for the door. "For the record, I was trying to get everything organized and figured out before I told you; I didn't want you to get your hopes up, and then it doesn't pan out." She yanks open the door and turns to face him. "I will not stop you from seeing Serenity, and I will not stop her from seeing you, Derek. I wish you would believe me when I say that. I found a house and an office. Serenity and I will be moving here, a few blocks away. Congratufuckinglations, you'll be able to see her whenever you want, have her over whenever you want. You're welcome."
Without waiting for a response, Casey leaves letting the door fall shut behind her.
She probably should have listened to her mother because it might have avoided the entire fight. Derek is perhaps justified, too, in wanting to make sure that he gets to see their daughter, but it still hurts.
Casey knows, too, that she overreacted a bit. This recognition comes a lot sooner than it would have in high school. She closes her eyes and leans against the door. Part of her wants to go back inside, and patch things up. The other part of her knows that they both need space right now, and honestly she's too embarrassed to hash it out right now.
Unsure where else to go, Casey calls Sam.
