Elena combed through the treasure with undisguised glee. "This will last us for some time yet! We should celebrate!"

Leaning against the side of the Excalibur, Gwen tried to smile and share in Elena's enthusiasm but all her mind could think of was the scene of Arthur killing Pellam. Anger rose in her and she clung to that. The moment they returned to the Excalibur, she'd demanded that Arthur return to his bunk. His surprise was obvious but he said nothing and left.

She felt Elena move closer to her. "What's the matter?"

Before she could say anything, Merlin and Percy walked over and sat down. "Ale?" Merlin asked, passing around mugs. Silently, Gwen took one and watched as Elena snuggled into Percy. Merlin chattered on about the Fisher King and curses and why one shouldn't mess with magic or magical creatures. There were laughter, smiles and a distinct sense of relaxation only Gwen still couldn't get the image of Arthur stabbing Pellam out of her mind and with it, the quiet reminder of how much violence affected her. Elena's words returned to her - was she truly happy living like this, on the cusp of violence every day?

"Gwen? Hey!" Merlin's voice broke into her thoughts.

Plastering a smile on her face, Gwen looked up at Merlin. "Sorry, I was thinking about how the treasure is going to tide us over for at least another year."

Merlin's answering smile was bright. "It was quite the adventure, wasn't it and the haul was well worth it."

"Yeah."

"So we were thinking that this is a good time for us to stopover at a port. Percy says there's a small one a day's sail away." Elena stretched out her legs.

"As long as it doesn't belong to Camelot!" said Merlin.

With a roll of her eyes, Elena kicked Merlin lightly. "Of course we wouldn't venture anywhere near Camelot waters."

"Sounds like a good idea," said Gwen flatly. She stood and faked a yawn. "I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed."

Gwen barely took five steps before she felt Merlin's hand on her shoulder. She stopped and let her eyes close.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Gently, Merlin turned her so she was facing him. Letting out a breath, Gwen opened her eyes.

"We killed captain Pellam."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "From what I heard, Arthur was the one who did the killing."

"We could have found a cure, something. We didn't have to kill him." Arthur's sword plunging into the frail captain's chest, withdrawn coated with blood, played in her head again. "We didn't have to kill him."

Without a word, Merlin wrapped her in a hug, holding her close and rubbing her back. Her tears leaked onto his shirt and she tried to stifle a sob. It wasn't just the killing of captain Pellam, it was everything – the stress of maintaining her life on Excalibur, the possibility that Elena would leave, the ache she felt every morning when Arthur left her bed – everything was a mess.

She didn't know how long she stood there in Merlin's arms but some time later, Merlin maneuvered the two of them onto a small bench in a quiet corner of the main deck. His hands tangled in hers, he asked softly what was wrong.

Tilting her head back, Gwen could see the sky, dark except for the twinkle of stars. The cool sea breeze brushed against her face, picking up the loose strands of her hair.

"There was no choice. Pellam was lost to this world long before we even arrived," said Merlin. "I promise you Gwen."

She sniffed. "How do you know? You weren't there."

Merlin continued to rub her back. "Because Freya told me. Pellam angered the Old Religion. He was damned, no matter what. We did the best we could. We released Freya from her curse and gave Pellam peace."

"You're right." At least, Gwen tried to believe he was right. She knew her smile was forced but she hoped that Merlin wouldn't notice in the moonlight. "You're right. You know what? Go celebrate with Elena and Percy."

"And you?"

Rubbing the back of her neck, Gwen smiled again. "I'm going to bed."


One would think that after all he had done, he would have been treated a little better. But no. The moment they set foot on Excalibur, Gwen coldly ordered him back to his cabin. They could have at least tended to his shoulder first. Technically he could walk out of his cabin – he'd been allowed to do so before – but with Gwen in that strange mood, he wasn't about to chance her wrath. He kicked his bed, then realized that he was acting just like Mordred. With a sigh, Arthur flopped onto his bed. It had been almost two weeks since he had been taken captive. He was pretty sure that his father would have received the news by now.

He was glad, he told himself firmly. The Camelot navy would arrive and rescue him from this awful situation.

A knock disrupted his thoughts.

Then, much to his surprise, Gwen pushed the door open, slipped in and shut it behind her.

"Gwen," he said, slightly confused by her expression.

"How's your shoulder?" She took one step towards him, her hands reaching for the stained cloth wrapped around his shoulder. "The wound should be cleaned."

Arthur nodded, examining her closely as she slowly unwrapped the cloth. She avoided eye-contact with him. The annoyance that he'd embraced earlier slipped away, replaced by concern. "Are you –"

"Let me get some water and clean bandages." And then she was gone.

When she returned, Arthur sat quietly on the bed, letting her tend to his wound. He kept his gaze on her, watching as she expertly washed his wound, then wrapped it firmly. As she tucked the end of the bandage in, she ran her hand gently across his shoulder. He grabbed it and Gwen glanced up at him.

"Why are you here?"

"Someone had to tend to your wound." She looked away again.

Arthur took her hand from his shoulder, holding it gently. "You could have sent anyone to tend to my wound."

When she tried to pull her hand away, he tightened his hold. "Gwen."

"Kiss me," she said, her eyes finally meeting his. His first instinct was to say no, to push her to tell him why she was acting this way. But why did he even care? She'd taken him captive, for god's sake. With a growl, he pulled her to him and kissed her, nipping her lips, his fingers digging into her waist as he held her as close as he possibly could, molding her curves to him.

But their kisses and touches softened after a while. Even as he kissed her, he cradled her gently, his hands cupping her face. He had kissed her enough these two weeks to realize that today, there was a vulnerability, a fragility in Gwen that he'd never felt before and it made him want to make all sorts of ridiculous promises about taking care of her.

Slowly, he sat on his uncomfortable bed, lifting her so she was on his lap. Immediately, she buried her face in the crook of his neck, looping her arms around him. Arthur undid her braid, then unbuttoned her shirt, sliding it off her shoulders before pressing kisses along the line of her collar bone. His hand went lower to loosen her trousers before he scooped her up and placed her on the bed.

"What do you want Gwen?"

"Arthur," she whispered. "I want to forget. Please."

Previously, sex had been about seeking pleasure but as Arthur kissed her lips gently, he knew that this time it would be different. She was unusually pliant, allowing Arthur to do whatever he wanted. As his fingers dipped into her, Gwen let out a sigh as her hands tangled in his hair. He lowered his mouth, and with his fingers, brought her to a shuddering climax, once, and then again.

Still fully clothed, he spooned her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and held her close, nuzzling her neck. He could easily shuck off his trousers and slide into her and honestly, he really wanted to. But for some reason, with the mood Gwen was in, it didn't feel right.

"Don't you want to –" she murmured her hand reaching behind to cup him. Arthur caught her hand before she could make contact.

"I'm fine."

She nodded, her body relaxing into his. "Thank you."

Even as he held her, Arthur felt dread pool in him. He didn't want to feel this tenderness, this desire to protect her. All this was only going to make things more complicated, not least because his father was most likely on his way to completely destroy her. He couldn't even begin to fathom what was wrong with him, allowing himself to be taken by his captor. And Gwen. All those stories about her violent, bloodthirsty ways and she was curled in his arms, sad and vulnerable, because he'd killed Pellam. He stroked her hair, then kissed the back of her head. If it had been Elena being called the scourge of the seven seas, Arthur could understand, but Gwen?

When he woke, she was still in his arms, all soft and warm. Slivers of sunlight seeped into his cabin and he groaned, untangling himself from Gwen then leaving his bed. Gwen sighed, shifted and buried her face in his pillow.

"Is she with you?" Elena opened his door and poked her head in.

"Don't you have any manners? And yes, she's sleeping."

"Don't forget who you are," Elena snapped and shoved a tray at him. "Make sure she eats."

Grumbling under his breath, Arthur kicked the door shut. Gwen stirred, blinking before staring in confusion at him.

"Hey." Still holding the tray, he sat on the bed next to her.

Her smile was tentative. "Hey. Is that breakfast?"

"Yup. Unfortunately, you're going to have to eat it in this tiny room." He handed her a bowl.

"Thanks."

For a while, they ate in silence, side by side on his bed. In between, Arthur stole glances at her. He cleared his throat. "Have you ever killed before?"

Gwen started, then frowned. "Of course." The answer was rushed and instinctively, Arthur knew she was lying.

"Liar," he whispered, leaning over to touch her cheek. Even with her messy hair, sleepy eyes and skin creased by the sheets, he couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was. It was suddenly important she told him the truth.

"That's ridiculous. I'm a pirate. Of course I've killed."

Arthur set his bowl aside. "That may be true but never intentionally."

Shrugging, Gwen stuffed her spoon in her mouth.

"This whole reputation you have, it's all lies, isn't it?"

"I'm going back –"

Arthur grabbed her hand. "Tell me the truth."

"Why?" asked Gwen as she stood and pulled her hand from his. "Who are you to demand anything from me? You're my captive and I don't owe you any answers."

Arthur stood as well, anger surging through him at her words, at the fact that she was still lying to him. "Maybe you should stop pretending to be someone you're not."

"Who I am is none of your business!"

"It's my business when you use me for comfort sex last night because you couldn't deal with seeing people die."

That made Gwen pause. "You agreed to this arrangement," she finally said, her voice cold. "But I can see it's not working anymore."

"Gwen." He reached for her but she took a step back.

"No. Don't touch me. You can still have freedom of the boat as long as you do whatever duties Elena gives you."

Arthur grit his teeth. "Fine."

"Great." As she left, she slammed the door.


"You're in a mood." Mordred scrubbed the main deck with more vigour than Arthur had seen in the past week.

Arthur grunted and continued working. He wasn't in a mood because he didn't care about Gwen or her ship. And he'd be happy when his father arrived, annihilated Gwen's merry band of pirates and he could go back to trying to regain his position as captain of the navy. He flung his rag into the bucket of dirty water.

"Elena gave me a piece of jewellery. Reward for my part in the Fisher King treasure hunt."

"One piece of jewellery." Arthur laughed. "You're easy."

"Also, Elena says we're going to spend some time at a port. I like sailing but it'll be good to be on dry land, don't you think? And, Percy said that because I worked well, he'll teach me how to rig the ship."

His smile this time was genuine. "That's brilliant."

"You'll stay on the ship too, right?" Mordred asked. Then his voice dropped. "You could be the captain's first officer. I think she likes you too."

"I am a captive," said Arthur, turning his attention back to the deck he was scrubbing.

"Yeah but as long as your father doesn't come for you, you can stay."

That was perilously close to his own thoughts early this morning, when he was wrapped up with Gwen.

"I am sure that my father will come soon."

It was the wrong thing to say and Arthur knew it the moment the smile faded from Mordred's face, replaced with his usual sulky pout. With a sigh, Arthur scrubbed harder, hoping the ache in his arms would help him ignore the one in his chest.


As Gwen lounged on the deck with Merlin, she couldn't help but watch as Arthur worked on repairing some part of the ship, even though watching him made her want him. She'd overreacted this morning, still shaken by his killing of Pellam and nervous about sharing too much with him. Despite everything, how he'd supported them during their adventures on the Fisher King, Gwen was very aware that he was still the enemy and chances were that his father was now leading the Camelot navy after them.

"I think it's all fate," said Merlin.

"Fate?" Gwen removed her arm from her eyes and looked up at Merlin.

"If you hadn't kidnapped Arthur, there's no way we would have been able to get the Fisher King's treasure."

Gwen shook her head. "Let's not forget the part in which I've effectively set the whole Camelot navy on our tails."

"That's assuming they can find us. The oceans are huge." Merlin stretched. "We will be prepared for them."

"Yeah." It would be her and her crew on one side and Arthur and Camelot on the other. Her against Arthur. That thought hurt.

As if reading her thoughts, Merlin continued. "We'll be fighting against Arthur."

"Maybe his father will give us the ransom and we can just release him."

"So this has nothing to do with getting revenge on Uther?"

Gwen let her arm cover her eyes again. "I don't know."

"You could kill Arthur. Let Uther have a taste of how you suffered," said Merlin quietly.

"No!" She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut out the sudden pain that accompanied the idea of Arthur dying. "You know how I feel about killing. No."

Merlin said nothing but leaned against the side of the ship next to her. Excalibur rocked gently as Percy guided it towards Mercia, a small port town.

Even as Gwen tried to keep her mind on happy thoughts like the full hold she had right now, Elena's words, Arthur's questions kept invading her mind. It was all Arthur's fault. If he hadn't let his ship catch fire, if he hadn't been the crown prince of Camelot, if he hadn't acted as if he actually cared about he, she would be lying here on her deck, pleased with her haul and not worrying about whether she was really happy and moping over a break up that wasn't even really a break up. "Are you happy Merlin?"

"Hmm?" Merlin's head lolled to the side so he could look at her. "I am pretty happy. But I'm happy anywhere I can work on my magic."

"So if I gave up Excalibur –"

"Hey, hey, hey. What are you talking about? I told you that we'll survive the Camelot attack. I promise you."

Gwen smiled at Merlin. "It's just something Elena said. She's feeling restless. Life on a peaceful pirate ship isn't really for her, I guess."

"She discovers this after sailing on the Excalibur for 5 years?"

"You have to admit, life was a lot more exciting when my dad was around."

Merlin raised one eyebrow. "Never thought I'd hear the day you'd describe those days as exciting. I remember a girl who hated the violence, who pleaded with her father to retire from being a pirate. What happened to her?"

"She thought that she could be happy pretending she liked being a pirate. She thought if she learned to like being a pirate, it would make up for the way she treated her father before he died."

Merlin's arm slipped around her shoulders but he said nothing.

"Arthur asked me who I really am. I yelled at him."

"He probably deserved it," laughed Merlin and Gwen smiled reluctantly. "And who is he to ask you such things anyway? You give him a little freedom and he thinks he can ask anything he wants."

"Exactly," said Gwen, even as a strange sense of emptiness came over her.