I'm Still Here
Chapter Seven
And You're Not Mine
Walking was painful. Sitting was painful. Breathing was painful. Everything was painful for Kagome. Especially thinking. Thinking about Inuyasha.
As they walked through the forest where Kagome and Inuyasha had that horrible, decisive fight, the young woman could think about nothing else. She stared at the trees surrounding her, wondering what had happened to her hanyou.
She closed her eyes for a second, trying to compose herself. But when she opened them again, she found Kouga glaring at her as if he had known exactly what she was thinking about. Who she was thinking about.
She held his angry gaze and just went on walking. "Isn't it anywhere near?" Kouga snapped. "I don't smell any demons."
Kagome's answer was cold. "No. I lost it a little. I think maybe the demon left… or concealed itself."
The wolf-demon growled low in his throat. Was the wench trying to make things harder for him? "Listen Kagome. I'm sorry about last night. I might have been a little hard on you, but you shouldn't take it out on me this way." Kagome's eyes widened for a second. Sango had gasped, and Miroku was trying to hold himself in place. Only Shippo had not reacted.
"You disgusting bastard!" Sango yelled. She took a step forward, lunging herself at Kouga to hit him.
"SANGO!" Miroku called after her. "Don't!"
Kouga growled at her and grabbed her hand in an easy movement. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said. "Now let's all go."
Sango snapped her hand back to her chest and let out a enraged yell. As Kouga proceeded to walk forward, she grabbed her Hiraikotsu. The wind was blowing in the right direction. "I'll kill you…" she whispered, and heard Miroku scream and Kagome gasp when she threw it. Kouga laughed and made a lunge for Kagome. "See here, taijiya! Hurt me and she suffers!" Hiraikotsu had missed him when he'd jumped towards Kagome, and it went flying right back into Sango's hand.
"You coward!" she screamed. "You fucking bastard!" She threw herself at him, unable to keep calm anymore. "I'll fucking rip you!"
Kagome and Miroku yelled for her to stop, and as Kagome freed herself from Kouga's grasp, she lunged forward and grabbed Sango's wrists, screaming, begging for her to stop. "Don't, Sango! He'll kill you," she added, a pleading whisper. Sango stared at her, raging, fighting her to let go so she could lunge at Kouga. Shippo was also screaming his fury, but a few meters away, not daring to approach.
Kouga just stared at the scene, a cold expression on his visage. He walked towards the two girls, and with a simple flick of his wrist, three slashes of blood appeared on Sango's cheek. Miroku was already on alert and had left Shippo to defend Sango. "NO!" was Kagome's scream as Kouga growled and hit Miroku straight in the face. With a single flinch, Miroku grabbed his staff and was about to hit Kouga back, but Kagome was faster. Thanks to her recent link with the demon, she sensed that he was really starting to get angry, and nothing would stop him from really hurting Miroku.
She let go of Sango and turned around to start running. She knew she had no chance to run away – it wasn't what she was trying to do.
Kouga's attention was violently taken by the miko, and he went right after her, forgetting all about Miroku and Sango. At once, Miroku understood what she was doing. "Kirara!" he yelled. The cat demon was faster than light as she appeared in front of him. He grabbed Sango and yelled for Shippo to come with them as he jumped on Kirara and she flew off of the ground. Sango was revolted. "I will not leave her alone! I won't! Let me down!"
But as she caught a look at Kagome's eyes, she went quiet. "I love you!" she yelled. Kagome smiled at her as she ran, a millisecond before being crushed by Kouga.
Sango's scream could be heard farther than Kagome's as Kouga slapped her. Furious at Miroku, she almost made him fall off of Kirara's back as she hit him. "I can't leave her!"
Miroku's eyes watered and he held her tightly against him. "Go, Kirara!" he screamed. "We can't do anything for her now. He could kill us in an instant. Don't hate me…" he whispered to the taijiya. "We'll be back after we've thought of a plan. We can't do anything now…" 'All I want is for you to be safe…'
"He'll kill her!" Sango yelled frantically. "He's hurting her!" But they couldn't see them anymore, they didn't know what was happening.
"No." Sango turned suddenly to her front. Shippo was staring down at the scene, his eyes filled with hatred. "He won't really hurt her."
Sango looked at him, her mouth agape. "He's heartless…" she argued brokenly.
Shippo laughed ironically, and both Miroku and Sango flinched at his sudden attitude. His voice was different. He seemed like he'd aged about ten years in an instant. "The bastard won't hurt her because it would hurt him," he explained. 'Not because he has a heart.'
Sango's expression hardened for a second, before she broke down again and let out a wail. "No! Let me go back, you hear me?" She grabbed Miroku's robes. "I CAN'T JUST STAY HERE!" she screeched.
Miroku did his best to calm her. "She'll be fine. We'll come back to help… Sango, please." He had to scream now, to drown her cries. "Think about what she did! She distracted him because she wanted us to leave!"
But nothing stopped Sango's cries and screams.
XX
Yet again, the morning rays hit Kagome in the face like a blow. All she could remember from the past night was pain. Slowly, she opened her eyes and turned from her side to her back. She was in a forest. She sat up slowly and realized that she was naked. Her whole body ached, yet she had absolutely no memory of the past night.
When Kirara was no longer in sight, Kagome was finally at ease. She was crushed under Kouga's body, and he'd turned her so that she was on her back. He slapped her across the cheek twice, and she only allowed herself a single scream.
"You coward…" she whispered. "I-Inuyasha would have never lifted his hand to hurt me…" Not realizing how angry she was making him, Kagome opened her eyes to glare at him.
"Repeat that, wench!" the wolf demon bellowed as he hit her face again.
"Coward!" Kagome yelled again, defiance in her eyes. She lifted her hand to slap him, and he made no attempt to stop her. "Coward! Coward! COWARD!"
He sneered as she let out a sob, and then everything went black.
After that, Kagome could not remember a thing.
She got up slowly, looking for her yellow backpack. Kouga was nowhere to be seen. She took out a pair of fresh clothes and pulled them on, then looked for her journal.
There was no point in trying to run. She knew Kouga was close by, and he would know if she tried to escape. She wouldn't make it to Kaede's before he caught up with her.
Her eyes misted as she read:
"Honestly, someone could make a book out of this journal. Tonight we found a shikon shard pretty easily. Inuyasha was in his human form, though. He got hurt at one moment and I was really worried. When Sango finished up the demon with her Hiraikotsu, I ran to him to check if he was okay. He was already turning back into a hanyou, which I found a little sad because I love his human form. He's so much more vulnerable, and weirdly become sweeter. But that doesn't mean that I don't love him when he's hanyou. All three forms of him are gorgeous. And there's something about his demon form – he's so hot when he's that dangerous…
"Anyway, as I was saying, when Sango finished off the demon I ran to him. He was getting better, but I leaned over him to look at his face. He looked into my eyes, and there was something different this time. He grabbed my waist and pulled me down to him. I lost my balance and was practically lying on top of him. He asked me if I was okay, when I was the one supposed to ask him that… He can be so adorable sometimes…"
Kagome's cheeks were tainted with tears now, and she shut the journal violently, throwing it back in her backpack. She got up, and looked around. What would her life be from now on? Would she be forced to follow Kouga around for the rest of her days?
"No…" she whispered. She would die before letting that happen. 'Die? Is that what it's going to take to get me away from him?'
Kagome's eyes misted yet again. When would she stop crying? Perhaps never. She was now alone with a demon that she did not love. She was not only with him, she was his mate. They were bonded for life. If he got hurt, she got hurt, and if he died, she died. They would go down together…whether they liked it or not.
XX
The night had not been good at all for Sango, Miroku and Shippo. All of Miroku's comforting had not helped the taijiya at all, and she hadn't been able to sleep a single second. How could she, feeling as horrible as she did? She felt sick with herself, felt like her skin was heavy, dirty. Her cheeks were stained of salty tears, and she hadn't spoken a word since they'd got off of Kirara's back.
"Sango… you know you can't blame yourself for any of this…" Miroku tried to reason with her, yet again.
"Well then who is there to blame? Kagome? I think this is entirely Inuyasha's fault!" She screamed, then gasped at her heartlessness. Inuyasha was dead. How could she still blame him?
Miroku flinched. "You don't mean that."
Shippo, who had been laying on his back watching the clouds suddenly sat up, staring at them. Swallowing hard, Sango stuck with what she thought. "Yes I do. If he wasn't so fucking stubborn and if he'd forgotten about Kikyo we wouldn't be where we are now! If he'd only admitted his feelings to her – "
The monk had had just about enough. "And if she hadn't gotten so bitchy over nothing, he wouldn't have even left, and they'd have been on a date now!"
"This isn't her fault!" Sango yelled, outraged. "It's completely Inuyasha's fault. The stubborn baka!" And as she said that, her eyes misted and she started crying again – but for a completely different reason. She shook her head. "I miss him, you know?" she said, but her voice was hard. "I miss him but I really hate him for what he did to Kagome!"
"I can't believe you can blame someone who's dead!" Miroku couldn't believe her, and would never let her insult his best friend right in front of him.
"Of course she can!" Shippo exclaimed from behind her. "He shouldn't have left her like that, knowing very well that she would feel bad!"
"You don't even know how long he survived after he left! He died, Shippo! How can you expect someone dead to come back?!" Miroku was so mad he could have slapped the small youkai.
And then it hit them all, as if they'd known it all along. What could possibly have killed Inuyasha? "The new moon…" Sango whispered. "The night Inuyasha turns human…"
Miroku's eyes widened in horror. "Who could have known?"
Shippo looked at them icily. "Kouga knew."
Both of them frowned. They would have defended Kouga before – but after what he'd done to Kagome, they couldn't know for sure. "Could it be?" Sango whispered.
XX
AN: LOVES!
I know it's been forever since I've updated. I know, I really know. You probably read the last chapter - the AN. So here's the chap I promised, and I promise a lot more soon. Plus a couple of new plots coming soon!
I'm starting fresh, as I said, and I think the only story that I'm going to keep writing now is this one.
