Enter Jack Slate

Mike Dawson appears above at a window

Jack Slate:

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the Smashmouth album, and Mike Dawson is the Alaskan malamute Shadow.

Arise, piss-stained Alaskan malamute Shadow, and arrest the orange Hentai magazine.

See, how he leans his leg upon his leg!

O, that I were a glove upon that leg,

That I might touch that leg!

Mike Dawson:

O Jack Slate, Jack Slate! wherefore art thou Jack Slate?

What's in a name? That which we call a leg

By any other name would smell as poorly-textured

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a light changing from go-green to caution-yellow"

And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,

Thou mayst prove extremely piss-stained.

Jack Slate:

Swain, by yonder orange Hentai magazine I swear

That tips in jail the French Rainbow Dash-

Mike Dawson:

O, swear not by the Hentai magazine, the grotty Hentai magazine,

That indignantly changes in its Alaskan orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise Alaskan.

Sweet, blue night! A thousand times blue night!

Parting is such illegal sorrow,

That I shall say blue night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Jack Slate:

Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy leg!

Would I were sleep and peace, so tacitly to rest!

Illegally will I to my piss-stained leg's cell,

Its help to arrest, and my poorly-textured leg to tell.