Yu-Gi-Oh is the property of Konami and Kazuki Takahashi, and this work is only a very appreciative celebration, from which we hope to derive no profit of any kind.
At first he didn't realize he'd been asleep when the knock came. He heard it, soft at first, and then again, louder, and at first he thought no time had passed, and someone had followed him up here from the dining room. Then he realized he was lying curled up on top of Donald's coverlet. He was still fully dressed, the gas was still burning, and a little dampness under his face showed he'd been drooling on his pillow. So much for his dignity, so much for the polished facade Pegasus liked them to maintain during a con. Yami sat up, running his fingers through his hair in a quick attempt to make it look less slept-on.
It was Pegasus at the door, he told himself. He was here to give his protegee a lecture, and he had every right. After some time by himself to think about it, Yami was ready to acknowledge that his behavior at dinner had been unprofessional in the extreme. He had the words all ready to tell his mentor so, and to apologize, when he heard Yuugi's voice.
"Donald, may I come in?" He sounded meek. Maybe it was just the heavy door muffling his voice, but he sounded meek, and a little uncertain about the response he'd get. "Is it all right, Donald?" he called, and he waited for Yami's response before opening the door.
Still half-awake, it took Yami a moment to realize why Yuugi would be knocking, and why he'd sound upset like that. A vague sense of guilt settled over him. He'd wronged his "brother". He'd known he would, and he had. The details took a little longer to come back to him. Meanwhile, Yuugi knocked again.
"Donald," he called. "Are you all right? Do you want me to call Mother?"
That was the one that got him. Yami, who'd been moving slowly, guilt for the way he'd treated Yuugi warring with the leftover resentment he still felt inside him, sprang up and across the room, at the thought of the Countess coming up here and clucking at him and maybe giving him medicine. He opened the door with a hurried, "I'm all right, I was just asleep. Come in, Yuugi," he added.
Yuugi was in night-clothes, his bare feet pink with cold. He came in and went straight to the bed and sat down with his feet tucked under him. "I was in bed too," he said. "Mother would kill me if she knew I wasn't asleep by now." Looking up at his "brother", and noticing he was still dressed, "are you sure you're all right?" he said. "It wasgoing to the ABC that did it, wasn't it? I tired you out. I'm sorry, Donald."
Donald. Because it was "Donald" Yuugi cared about, wasn't it? Yami frowned. "I'm fine," he said, his voice a little stiff. "I was fine at dinner." He made himself cross the room to sit next to Yuugi on the bed. "Why are you here?" he asked him. "You should be in bed by now."
"I was in bed, only I couldn't sleep." Yuugi looked at him, with concern in his wide violet eyes, along with the comfortable trust that he would be welcome in his "brother's" room, sharing space on his bed with him. "I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said.
"You came to say that you'resorry?" Donald could relax on the bed with his brother, but he wasn't Donald, and this wasn't his bed. It was going to be hard enough leaving Yuugi; every cuddle and relaxed moment of "brotherly" intimacy would just make it harder. Yami sat up straight, and he stayed at the end of the bed, away from his "brother". "You didn't do anything, Yuugi," he said stiffly.
"I had to have," Yuugi said. "Or else why are you so angry? Did I talk too much on the way home? Did you - I don't know. - did you not want to hear about Téa? Did you not want to meet my friends? I don't know what I did," he said, "but I'm sorry. I just want us to be like we were on the drive home again." He showed Yami a napkin-wrapped bundle he was carrying. "You didn't get any dinner," he said. "Are you hungry?"
Yami was starved. And it was hard to hold out against the onslaught of Yuugi's friendliness. How much more hurt was he letting himself in for really, he asked himself, if he just gave in this once? And besides, he had the con to think of, didn't he? He couldn't play Donald properly if he held himself aloof all the time. "I have to say yes, don't I?" he said. "Otherwise you'll call the - you'll call Mother, and she'll fuss over me."
All it took was a little unbending on "Donald's" part, and Yuugi cheered right up. He gave a little laugh. "She'll dose you with castor oil," he said. "She was saying at dinner that she wanted to." He handed his brother the bundle. "I got these from the larder for you," he said.
Yami opened the napkin. "Fairy cakes?"
Cuddling closer to him on the bed as if confident he'd be welcome to, "I wanted to bring some of the ice cream from dinner," Yuugi said. He laughed, adding, "only I couldn't get it into the napkin.
There were several fairy cakes in the napkin, five or six at least, and Yami remembered how good they were from the day before. Just looking at them made his stomach growl; he couldn't hold himself aloof now if he'd wanted to. He took the top one, pink-frosted and covered with coconut, and handed it to Yuugi. "You've got to share them with me," he said.
Yuugi took a bite. "We'll share it." He offered him the bitten cake. "I know you like the coconut ones."
Part of Yami still wanted to hold himself aloof. It was no good pretending, there was going to come a day when he'd have to leave, and he'd never see Yuugi, much less play at being his brother or cuddle or share cakes with him again. But Yuugi's smile, pink-frosted and sprinkled lightly with coconut, was irresistible. He bent and took a bite from the cake in Yuugi's hand. As he sat up again, he leaned in closer, one arm going around his "brother's" waist.
Once he let himself relax, everything he needed to be "Donald" came back to him again. - It was Donald, wasn't it? It had to be, because otherwise it would hurt too much when he left. - Yami grinned wickedly. "You didn't get some of that mutton to bring me too, did you?"
"Mutton?" Yuugi's eyes turned round and horrified at once. "Oh Donald, I'm sorry!"
"Never mind." Yami tightened his arm around Yuugi's waist, hugging him. - It was what Donald would do, wasn't it? - "I was teasing." he said, and then, when Yuugi's face didn't clear right away, he added, "if we eat all these and we're still hungry, we'll go down to the larder together and get whatever we want."
He felt Yuugi's body relax against his again. "Just like old times," he said. "Remember the time you and I went down to the larder, and we found that Summer Pudding, and we ate the whole thing?" He laughed. "And it turned out Cook had made it for my birthday tea, and Mother was so angry she sent both of us to the nursery with no supper?" He cuddled closer. "Good times, Donald."
Yami fought back a surge of envy at thought of the carefree young Donald, his raspberry speared hand clasping Yuugi's, as they went up to the nursery together. "Good times." he echoed, swallowing fairy cake past the lump that had appeared in his throat. As he leaned close to Yuugi, he tried to focus, not on the past that hadn't been his, or the future when he would have to go away, but just on the here-and-now, just on the fairy cakes, and the warm moment he got to share with him. "It's cold up here," he said. "Let's get under the covers and get warm.
"Not now, silly." Yuugi laughed. "You're still dressed." He was up and rummaging through his "brother's" open trunk before Yami (who didn't remember what revealing secrets might be in there, close to the top and easy to find) could stop him, and in no time he'd pulled out a rumpled nightshirt. "Here," he said. "Get undressed, and then we'll get under the covers and warm each other just like we used to."
"Undressed?" Yami felt his cheeks flame. He swallowed. Of course he had to get undressed if he was going to get under the covers with Yuugi. And he had to get under the covers with Yuugi if that's what Donald would have done, right? ...And why it made him so uncomfortable just thinking about it, he couldn't have said, so he told himself that it didn't, he was just fine with it, and he pushed any thoughts that he might not be, out of his mind.
He was still just standing there, when he felt Yuugi touching him, unbuttoning the jacket of his evening suit. "Hurry." There was laughter in hhis voice, just a little fond laughter. "You're still half asleep, Donald." As he spoke, Yuugi was sliding Yami's jacket off his shoulders, tossing it, half-folded, onto a chair. "Do I have to do everything for you?" he said.
The thoughts came surging back, and for just a moment, Yami let them. He imagined Yuugi's hands against his bare skin, and it wasn't an uncomfortable thought, it was kind of attractive. But it was entirely the wrong kind of thought to be having right now. He was Yuugi's "brother". - He was Yuugi's "brother", who would be leaving in three weeks, but leave that aside for now. - He was part of the family, so he certainly could never approach him as a lover, or even think of him as one. Yami swallowed. Then he looked at his "brother" with Donald's teasing grin.
"Yes, I want you to do everything for me," he said. "Take off my shoes, little brother. Undo the dropseat on my union suit and see if my bottom's dirty." Yuugi's giggles said it was the exact right response; Yami told himself that was why they gave him so much pleasure. "Take off my socks for me," he said. "I think there's some Indian foot-germs in there I want you to attend to."
"Indian foot-germs?" Yuugi shoved the nightshirt into his "brother's" hands and collapsed onto the bed, still giggling. "That's disgusting, Donald. Let me see."
One thing about the teasing conversation, was that it almost distracted him from the fact that he was naked in front of Yuugi ...almost. Yami tossed his clothes onto the chair and shimmied the nightshirt over his head. "See?" He waved one foot in his "brother's" direction. "See the foot-germs? And I'm going to put them all over you."
Yuugi laughed. "Well my feet are cold," he said, "and I'm going to put them all over you." He gave a shiver. "Hurry up, Donald. This bed isn't getting any warmer."
Yami hurried. He crossed the room, the floor feeling like ice against his newly bare feet, and climbed into bed, and there was a moment of confusion, as he went to take the side nearest the wall, just as Yuugi went to take it himself, and give the better side, next to the lamp, to him. Then they were both in, with the covers tucked up high, and Yuugi's head resting against his shoulder.
It was a strangely comfortable position, very different from sharing a hotel bed with Pegasus. Those were so big they could lie at either end and never touch each other (which came in handy when Pegasus woke up early every morning, and read the newspapers), while with Donald's little bed, Yami either had to cuddle close to his "brother", or fall out. He wanted to cuddle close at any rate, because it took a while for the covers to get really warm, while Yuugi's body was already so warm that just touching him, made Yami feel nice and cozy. The question wasn't whether he should touch his "brother" in bed, it was how much, and whether there was any way that they could get more parts of their bodies into contact.
Yuugi seemed to feel the same way. He'd turned so his backside was toward the wall, both arms wrapped tightly around his "brother's" shoulders, and he appeared to be doing his best to make sure that as much of him touched Yami as possible, his head, his arms, his torso, and his cold bare feet. Yami recoiled when he felt them, like big blocks of ice, against his legs. Yuugi chuckled, then moved to tuck a fold of blanket in between his feet and Yami's legs. He sighed and cuddled closer.
"Tell me about India," he said. "Tell me about hunting tigers - Did you ever hunt tigers, Donald? Oh, and about elephants. Tell me about elephants."
"Oh, elephants, they're not so much." Yami wasn't thinking about the pretense, or about being "Donald", he was just thinking how pleasant it was to cuddle with Yuugi, under the rapidly warming covers. "They're just pack animals," he said. "Like big, lumpy donkeys."
"Donkeys?" Yuugi chuckled. "How about tigers," he said. "What are they like?"
"Like pussycats," Yami said to more appreciative chuckling, "really giant, really dangerous pussycats. Imagine Cook's tabby," he said, "only imagine you're the mouse. - I never got close to a tiger," he added, as he heard Yuugi's horrified intake of breath. "I just heard stories."
"You were always fascinated by India," Yuugi said. His face was right under Yami's chin, and every time he spoke, Yami felt his breath, soft and warm, against his own cheek. "Remember all those books you used to read? Mother and Father were so angry when you said you were going to get a job with the East India Company. And Mother was sure you'd come back dead. She wants you back for good now, Donald, and so do I," he said.
"I know," Yami murmured. The vague rigmarole he and Pegasus had given his "parents" right after they'd arrived, about him having to return to India in January was his life-preserver. It was what gave him the freedom to cuddle, and enjoy his "brother's" company like this. He stroked Yuugi's hair. "You know how it is," he said vaguely.
There was a long moment of silence. Everyone thought of Yuugi like a child, but his body was a man's body, Yami thought. There was a man's musculature there, a man's bone structure. People missed it, because he was small, and because he still dressed and acted like a boy, but he was as much an adult as Pegasus. Yami's hand on his "brother's" leg froze. He did not want to think about Pegasus, his partner and sometime-lover, who always let him be free with his body, and touch him wherever he wanted to, with whatever intention, not here, not right now. This was different, it had to be. And besides, Yuugi didn't want him for a lover, did he? He wanted that girl he'd met this afternoon, that nosy Miss Gardiner. And it was just as well. It would be hard enough to say good-bye to a "brother", come January. Leaving Yuugi if they were lovers, would break his heart.
"I really admire you, Donald," Yuugi interrupted Yami's thoughts. "You know what you want, and you always get it. I wish I were strong and determined like you."
"I wanted to see more of the world than just Scotland." The answer felt pre-made, but Yami didn't really know what to say. Now that the thought of him and Yuugi being lovers had come into his mind, it was all he could think of. He wouldn't have to do much, just slide his hand under that loose-fitting nightshirt he wore, and he'd be touching bare skin, just turn his head, and he could kiss that dreamy, untouched smile right off his "brother's" face.
"I wouldn't dare to do it," Yuugi said, and Yami had to struggle to remember what it was his "brother" wouldn't dare to do. Crazy thought: for a moment he thought he was saying he wouldn't dare kiss him. "I like Scotland. I like being at home here with Mother and Father. It's because I'm the weaker one."
Yami blinked at the sudden self-criticism. "Does the - Does Father say that?" he said. "Don't you say that about yourself! You're not weak, Yuugi."
"But I am." Yuugi smiled at his 'brother', looking a little wistful. "Mother always protected me, she still does. And Father, well, Father loves me, but I know I disappoint him."
"Don't ever talk about yourself like that," Yami said. He hugged Yuugi tight, the feeling nothing but brotherly right now. "You're strong in your own way. You're kind, and loyal, and generous. Father is an ass if he can't see that, if he can't appreciate you for what you are."
Yuugi snickered a little at the description. Then he sobered. "He's not, you know," he said, "and you shouldn't say it, Donald. He just wants me to be more of a credit to the family, you can't blame him." He sighed. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born the son of an Earl," he said. "I wish we were just commoners, and we could do what we wanted, without always thinking of the family."
The pictures crowded back. Yami knew what he'd do if Yuugi were just a commoner ...and if they weren't supposedly "brothers". He didn't even care if he'd be turned down, he at least wanted to try, and see if he would respond to him. But that wasn't what Yuugi was thinking of, of course. "What would you do?" he asked him. "If you were a commoner, I mean. What would you do?"
"I'd be an architect." Yuugi relaxed close into Yami's arms. "Father says that's no job for a nobleman's son," he said. "He wants me to go to Oxford and get a classical education. But he had a firm come in this spring, and draw up plans for the renovation of the old Castle: I talked to the man in charge," he said, "and it's fascinating, all that goes into a job like that. He doesn't just have to know how to build things, there's historical research too, why the Castle was built the way it was, and what the rooms would have looked like. He's got to know as much as any classical scholar, I'd think. And his work is going to live on for centuries, how many scholars can say that?"
They'd talked about this before. This was the dream Yuugi had shared when they were driving home from the ABC. And what a dream! Yami, who knew about noblemen mostly through Pegasus' contemptuous descriptions of them, could no more picture an Earl letting his son take a job like architect, where he'd get his hands dirty, than he could picture one flying to the moon. Oh no, any proper nobleman would want his son sitting quietly at a desk somewhere with his hands folded. - Or at home with his wife making babies to carry on the family name. Yami leaned his cheek against Yuugi's. "You could run away," he said. "Why not do what I did, go do what you want to do. Don't worry what Father says. What's he going to do, disown you?"
Even as he said it, he knew it wouldn't work. Most architects learned the trade through apprenticeship and he could not imagine sheltered, petted Yuugi, fetching and carrying on a building site, or laying bricks. Besides that, they needed money to sustain a business until they started getting customers. - For just a moment, Yami pictured himself taking the Emerald, and Yuugi, and running off to London to sell it, and set his "brother" up in an architect's business with the proceeds. Oh, how Pegasus would squawk! Not to mention how the Jardines would react of course.
"I can't, Donald." Yuugi interrupted his thoughts again. "I'm not like you," he said. "I don't want to leave home. I wouldn't be happy somewhere else, estranged from my family. I'll do as Father wishes, I guess," he said, sounding a little glum. "I'll give up my dreams and go to Oxford and study classics."
'Oh no you won't.' Yami bit back the words that wanted to come: 'I won't let you. You shall be an architect, Yuugi.' It was no business of his. He wasn't even going to be here. He was going to be in the Cote d'Azur with Pegasus. He stiffened, fighting his frustration.
"Donald? Something wrong?" Of course Yuugi would feel the tension. He was so close, he could feel every small movement.
"Noblemen can be architects too," Yami said, ignoring Yuugi's question. "And classical scholars. Did you ever hear of the Taj Mahal, the most beautiful building in India, and it was designed by the Emperor in the 17th century. So see? If Emperors can design buildings, Earls' brothers can too."
"Did you see the Taj Mahal when you were in India, Donald?" Yuugi was ignoring some of what his "brother" said too; Yami noticed it, as Yuugi turned the conversation away from his own dreams, but he didn't comment.
"Of course," he said. "The Company gives me ever so many vacations and chances to travel. I'm hardly at my desk at all. But there were no tigers there."
"Oh yes tigers." Yuugi snickered. "They're just like big pussycats." He stifled a yawn. "You should get one and keep him in your house, in case some really big mice get in." He looked at his brother with drowsy, violet eyes. "You going to eat the fairy cakes?" he asked.
"Maybe later." His cheek still against Yuugi's, Yami inhaled, breathing in the smell of his "brother's" shampoo, and something else, that could only be described as his Yuuginess. "It's warm under the covers," he said. "I'd get cold if I got out and got them."
"I'll get them for you," Yuugi offered predictably.
"No," Yami all but whispered. "You need your sleep." He hugged Yuugi tighter, watching as he closed his eyes and relaxed almost immediately into slumber, then closed his eyes himself. Sleep felt very, very far away.
