A/n: I'm sorry! Forgive me! But here the chapter is - in all it's flawed glory and for your (dubitible) enjoyment ^^ Thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favs and the continued support! It means a lot to me.

Disclaimer: Disclaimed


Chapter 7: Two Steps Back

Neji leaned morosely against a tree at the very edges of the Hyuuga compound. The bark was rough against his back, digging into his skin, but he barely noticed. Nor did he pay any attention to the laughter and teasing that was bouncing back and forth between Naruto and Kiba. How on earth had Kiba talked him into this? Vaguely he recalled finally arriving back in Konoha after that disastrous mission, only to run into Kiba who was just leaving the compound as he was entering. The Inuzuka had promptly dragged him away, barely allowing enough time for Neji to leave his pack behind, promising a surprise. He grimaced bitterly as he took another swig from the sake cup dangling from his fingers. How far had he fallen? How had it come to this? From being the youngest Jounin and pride of the Hyuuga clan he was suddenly not only promiscuous and sex-starved but apparently becoming a drunk, too. He still cringed when he thought of the raised eyebrows when the entire mission party had seen him leaving Tenten's room the morning after their fight.

Maybe that was why he'd decided to give in to Kiba's exhortations to 'just try one sip'. Maybe he'd thought that the alcohol would be enough to drown out the abject humiliation of being reprimanded for his treatment of the aide. In front of their clients. Hair and clothes still dishevelled. Freshly from Tenten's bed...

The groan was just barely suppressed before it could burst from his lips. One long-fingered hand ran through his hair; tangling the chocolate length into knots.

He knew Gai had had no choice but to publicly declare his disapproval of the way Neji had handled the situation; not after the aide had run to his boss and complained. Neji also knew that Gai hadn't really minded – knowing his erstwhile sensei as he did, it had been apparent in the older man's tone of voice as well as his word choices, but the 'dressing down' had served to mollify the client.

An inelegant snort drew the other two's curious gazes but Neji ignored the looks and they quickly lost interest and returned to their tipsy antics.

Of course, the coward – Neji still had no idea what the young man's name was – hadn't let on that he'd deserved every second of being knocked out; that he'd more than earned every bruise he'd sustained, and Neji hadn't said anything, either. What purpose would that serve, except to humiliate Tenten along with him? Though Gai had clearly known more than he'd let on since the lecture had been so mild; more a tirade about proper application of youthfulness than anything else.

Still, he was a Hyuuga Jounin not a genin child and the words had stung.

With a shake of his head, Neji forced himself back to the present and tried to find some distraction in the form of the two semi-drunk idiots in front of him. Truth be told, maybe it wasn't all that bad – the sake. He was on his second cup and he could feel the relaxation stealing over him; tight muscles relaxing while the world became coated in a rosy glow.

He couldn't stop thinking about her. The way she'd smiled after he'd told her that maybe he wouldn't mind if they were, in fact, to become parents earlier than either of them had planned.

What did it mean?

Should he have asked her?

Another sip of sake. Then another.

In surprise, Neji stared at the empty cup grasped tightly in his slightly sweaty palm.

Yes, yes, he should have asked.

Not in the slightest unsteady on his feet (just feeling an inordinate amount of good-will towards the world in general) Neji placed the cup next to the flask Kiba had brought and pushed himself up with the help of the tree he'd been leaning against.

"Oi, where are you going, Hyuuga?" Kiba slurred, leaning back to look up at Neji and promptly losing his balance and falling back onto the grass.

Neji suppressed the urge to laugh, settling for a smirk instead, "How many cups have you had, Inuzuka?" He tried to bring disdain to the words, he really did, but only managed to sound vaguely amused.

Before Kiba could answer and since Naruto was still entirely occupied in laughing his ass off while he tried to help the other boy up (only managing to land in a pile on top of the giggling Inuzuka), Neji muttered a careless goodbye. Their voices called after him, interspersed with the sounds of a scuffle that had broken out spontaneously. Neji sped up; quickly disappearing from view before they could waylay him.

He should have asked Tenten what her feelings on the matter were. He was tired of not knowing … wondering and waiting for the inevitable explosion from her. Suddenly he couldn't help but wonder, in amazement, why on earth he'd never thought of simply asking her before.


It was good to be home.

Truthfully, Tenten had been very grateful when their escort mission had come to an end. Thankfully nothing had been said about the encounter with Haru, and he'd firmly avoided her after Neji had sent him flying. The problem was that Neji, on top of an obviously disgruntled client, was a bit more than Tenten wanted to cope with. Always, at the back of her mind, was the lingering worry : what would she do if she was pregnant? Not for a moment did she doubt that Neji was as good as his word. There was no way he would let her struggle with such a monumental life change on her own but …

She'd have to give up being a kunoichi. And Tenten was decidedly not ready to do that. She hadn't accomplished half of what she meant to.

With a sigh Tenten took a last glance around her spotless, if tiny, kitchen. Keeping busy only managed to distract up to a point … Only another week before they knew if they had anything to worry about. No use in crying over spilt milk. Even less sense in jumping the gun...

The knock at her door startled her but the intrusion wasn't entirely unwelcome. Tenten frowned as she slowly turned to answer it. It was late and she'd already gone to see her mother before coming home. Who would be calling at this time of night? Her heart started to pound, banging against her ribs in a frantic rhythm, as she recalled the last night-time visitor she'd received.


The worst of the sake had worn off by the time Neji drew to a halt in front of Tenten's door. Not enough for him to claim that he was completely sober but enough to start second-guessing his spur-of-the-moment decision to talk to Tenten. He frowned as he contemplated the slab of dark-brown wood that was her front-door. Why was it that when it came to Tenten all reactions and decisions were suddenly spur-of-the-moment? Was that a bad thing?

Finally, Neji sighed and raised his hand; rapping his knuckles firmly on the wood a couple of times. He'd come this far… and maybe the alcohol would have enough of an effect on his usual reticence that he could actually manage to convey what he was feeling and thinking. A moment later the door swung open to reveal Tenten bathed in a golden glow from the lamps behind her. The light gilded her hair reddish-gold as it hung in loose waves down her back.

Like sunset, Neji couldn't help but think as he drew in a sharp breath.

For a moment longer he stood unmoving, frozen into perfect stillness, as they stared at each other and suddenly he wasn't thinking at all anymore.

Two swift strides – Tenten backing up as he advanced – and he kicked the door shut behind him. He reached out and dragged her towards him in almost the same movement. It had been days since he'd held her like this – flush against him; her wide eyes seemingly searching his features for answers he didn't even know the questions to. Her lashes fluttered closed, kissing her soft cheeks, when his eyes dropped to her mouth and Neji knew that he was lost. The alcohol – the supposed burning questions he had to ask – it was all an excuse.

Her mouth was somehow softer than he remembered it being. Had she always felt this good? Her lips parted when he swiped his tongue firmly across the seam of her mouth. Neji allowed his hands to wander down the contours of her body; gripping hungry handfuls of flesh. At last it felt as if he could breathe again and Neji gave himself over to the feeling with abandon.

The world blurred and faded into pure sensation; the feel of her, the taste, made his head spin and his heart pound. Now, he knew what it was that his body craved and his hands slid quickly down her sides, lifting her and pressing her firmly back against the door as he slanted his mouth over hers to deepen the kiss. But more than that, and something he could only admit with enough sake running through his veins, was the fact that he craved her closeness. Almost as if he needed confirmation that all the confusing feelings that was suddenly boiling inside him, and worsening by the day, were returned. Did she ache to be close to him – as close as it was possible to get – the same way he did?

Neji was so lost in her, and the emotions she inspired, that he barely noticed the way Tenten pushed lightly against his shoulders; the way she turned her face away. He only noticed the arching expanse of her neck and immediately let his lips fall to the silky skin; biting and sucking his way along the pale column of flesh.


He tasted of sake. Smelled like fresh air and forest … he felt like Neji. But all Tenten could really register was the vague panic. Barely leashed aggression thrummed through his muscles as they pulled taut under her touch and she swallowed hard as she tried to push him away. Despite the way all her senses were focused on the (already somehow too familiar) smell and taste of him all Tenten could really feel was the rough hands of the mission target. The way the man had simply taken what he wanted with no thought or consideration for her.

The first time with Neji … she'd been wholly in control; directing every movement. But the way Neji touched her now was different … he was no longer unsure and untutored and it showed. His natural dominance was asserting itself in the most primal of ways and she couldn't quite keep the memories of losing her virginity from leaking into – and staining – reality.

"No. Neji. Stop!"

Finally, Tenten gave in to the feeling of being trapped; pushed hard against his shoulders even as she half-shouted the words at him, only to stumble slightly when he released her as if he'd been burned. Her fingers dug into the wood behind her as she fought for composure; tried to still the shivers that wracked her frame and, only once she was sure she was back in control, did Tenten dare to raise her eyes to Neji's.

He looked confused … slightly hurt, and more than a little wary as he carefully massaged the spot on his shoulder where her fist had connected moments before.

For a while, Tenten stared blankly up at the blinking Hyuuga.

"You stopped." She didn't quite know why she sounded so breathless and surprised …

Irritation flashed briefly across his features before his expression smoothed into careful blankness. "Of course. What did you expect? When a woman says stop, you stop."

Suddenly feeling incredibly young and stupid, Tenten allowed her back to slide down the door until she was sitting on the floor, and buried her face in her knees.

"Neji. I-I'm so sorry … I didn't mean-″

How could I have been so stupid? Of course he's not the same as that man … how could I allow those feelings the upper hand? Tenten inwardly berated herself, completely unable to look at Neji any longer. She knew better than this; had learned to get past all that had happened on that mission … the only explanation she could even begin to fathom was that Neji had caught her off guard – and because she'd been unprepared she'd reacted instinctively.

But how on earth could she explain that to Neji? He didn't know … she'd never wanted anyone to know.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a warm palm landed carefully on her crossed arms; she'd wrapped them firmly around her drawn-up knees. Slowly, moving carefully as if he was afraid of spooking her, Neji lowered himself to the ground next to her, angling his body so that he leaned against the wall beside her.

"What's the matter, Tenten?" he asked softly.

The underlying concern in his voice was her undoing; for so long she'd carried this shameful secret with her that the weight of it was beginning to drag her under. From far away she remembered the counsellor's advice: that she would never be able to let it go if she kept it all bottled up inside. The fear was there though; that he'd see her differently and pity her or worse, blame her for the stupidity that had gotten her into such a situation to begin with …

But it was Neji. The person she trusted above all others. If she couldn't tell him … who would she ever be able to tell?

Before … it might not have mattered so much but now … now she couldn't help but feel that maybe she owed him this last piece of trust. That he'd earned it – deserved it.

So, haltingly and with many stops and starts, Tenten allowed the story to spill from her lips. All the while carefully looking anywhere but at the silent figure next to her.


Neji didn't know what to say; how to react.

Somehow he didn't think that allowing the anger – at Tsunade-sama for saddling Tenten with a mission she hadn't been prepared for, at Lee for being the inadvertent catalyst to the entire situation, at himself for having been so focused on his own career that she'd had to handle such a mission on her own - would give Tenten what she needed. He wasn't stupid. Throughout the rambling tale her fingers had pushed and pulled at each other in a way so reminiscent of Hinata that it had become clear she was very fearful of his reaction.

She was ashamed when she had no reason to be.

The job had been done; she'd thought the way only an exceptional ninja could … getting herself and her teammate out of a sticky spot without compromising the mission. Abruptly, sadness flowed through his body; she'd been so young to have shouldered that much responsibility. Team Gai usually worked as a team and though Tenten and Lee had often collaborated on missions where a Jounin wasn't strictly required Neji or Gai had generally accompanied them regardless. Now, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe they'd done their teammates a disservice … had always been so ready to protect and defend that Tenten and Lee had developed at a slower rate than their peers. And yet, the one time she'd truly needed them … they'd been conspicuous in their absence. Instinctively, he recognized that Tenten wouldn't appreciate that sentiment, either. She would see it as pity … and that would also be detrimental to her mental state.

Carefully Neji reached out and placed his hand over hers; allowing her fingers to curl tightly into his as she held on for dear life.

He swallowed.

"You did the right thing, Tenten," he said at last, softly, "and you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Honey eyes, colored darker by disbelief and suppressed tears, stared sceptically back at him but her body relaxed for the first time. Slowly the tension left her limbs, and she sagged against him, curling into his side with a low sob.

"I – I just feel like … such a failure," she whispered into his neck as her arms wound around him and she clung tightly.

He hated her tears; hated that he didn't know how to make it better for her or even how to react in the face of so much misery pouring out of the one person he cared about most in the world. In the panic of having her crying in his arms, in conjunction with the lowered inhibitions courtesy of the sake, the last of Neji's defences crumbled and he finally gave in completely to all the emotion that had been boiling beneath his skin since Suna.

"You are not a failure," he stated firmly, cupping her cheeks with his palms and forcing her to look at him, "and I could never think less of you. How could you even contemplate that? I feel nothing but admiration for the way you handled the situation – no one could have done better."

She blinked, droplets of moisture still clinging to her eyelashes; sparkling in the overhead lights.

"You – you don't?" she asked, uncertainly.

Neji didn't mean to say it – it was hardly the appropriate place for such a declaration but somehow he opened his mouth and the words flew out of their own volition.

"I love you. Nothing you do or say could ever change that."


a/n: Thank you so much for bearing with me! I hope you enjoyed the chapter … bleh, but I won't blame you if you didn't xD …hopefully, next update will be quicker in coming – I'll try my best ^^ Please review and let me know what you thought?