106. Be prepared to run. A lot.

107. Do not try to imitate the local language/mode of speech. The T.A.D.I.S.
does a good job all by herself and you will just end up looking like an
idiot.

108. As a Gallifreyian the Doctor can stop his heartbeats. Just because he has no pulse and no heartbeat does not mean he is dead.

109. Getting your T.A.R.D.I.S. key is a very special moment. It is like a right of passage. Being given a T.A.R.D.I.S. key is the Doctor's way of saying that he has truly accepted you to the T.A.R.D.I.S. family. If, by the time you read this book you do not have a T.A.R.D.I.S. key that just means he forgot.

110. Never insult the T.A.R.D.I.S. in the Doctor's presence. He will kill you. Screw
that, the T.A.R.D.I.S. will kill you herself!

111. It is a known fact that when presented with a situation the Doctor likes to get involved.

112. The Doctor has never ki – almost never kidnapped anyone. His first companions ever were, admittedly, kidnapped.

113. Forming relationships with people from other times on the T.A.R.I.D.S. is a bad idea because when you or they leave, it will bring heartache.

114. Everyone leaves in the end. As stated before, the Doctor is the closest thing to immortal you will ever find and while you may stay with him your entire life (unlikely) you will eventually die thus leaving him.

115. Yes Jack, even you.

116. It is a good idea to make clear that you and the Doctor are not married for the benefit of the rest of the universe.

117. It is all right to flirt with Shakespeare.

118. Except you Jack. You may not flirt with Shakespeare.

119. Asking if you can get a dog might possibly result in getting a new robotic companion with a dog-like resemblance, is to smart for it's own good, and never fucking has the answer when it's important! (that ones for you Tom Baker!)


if you can't tell, half this chapter was written with Harkness in mind. next chapter is going to be the index but don't worry, i just needed to put it up. and 119 refrences tom baker outtakes.