Chapter 7
Anchor
4 years ago
World Championship A capella
Copenhagen, Denmark
"USA's Barden Bellas!"
Chloe feels her ears ringing as the thunderous cheers broke the silence. Her co-Bellas next to her jumping and screaming in happiness. She chokes back a sob, clutching her chest as she looks around in disbelief. Fireworks go off above as confetti rains down on the stage. In seconds, they all take center stage as the golden trophy finally within her grasp. It doesn't sink in immediately until Beca's voice was heard over the speakers, thanking everyone for the support and talking about the struggle they had to overcome to get to this point.
When the mic had been passed on to her next, tears of happiness break and fall down her cheeks. In between sobs she proceed to mention her state of shock and how proud she is to be a Bella. Looking at her members, she finally tells them just how much she values the friendship they've shared all these years before passing the mic to Emily.
If there were moments where she didn't want to end, this is one of them. This was the product of years of hard work, effort and definitely a whole ocean of tears and sweat. And god was it such a great feeling. She'd do everything all over again, no doubt.
She looks up at the beautiful Copenhagen night sky. A perfect night for such a perfect celebration. She basks in the moment before turning to her left and finds Beca's eyes fall on her at the same time. The aspiring music producer, her best friend smiling genuinely at her and Chloe had never seen anything so beautiful.
If in movies slow motion scenes appear on such epic moments, for Chloe this would probably be her epic moment. The spotlights, the fireworks, the confetti and Beca. It doesn't take long until she is in her arms and that was it. This is the definition of perfect.
If only this would never end.
"This is really happening!" Beca half screams against the noise created from the high of their win, releasing her from the hug to look at her with pure joy.
"I know. This is crazy! We did it, Becs!" she shouts back as Beca plucks out confetti from her hair. She does the same as they both laugh at how ridiculous they look.
It was indeed crazy. They've been through an emotional rollercoaster this year starting with their scandalous incident in front of national television up until their horrifying but not really that horrifying boot camp. And despite their heated arguments, misunderstandings and confession of secrets, here they were. So, now only one question remains, what's next?
One more secret remains.
A sudden realization drops down on Chloe after the high has slowly calmed down. Perhaps it was because of the win that her confidence and morale had been boosted to an abnormal level. Perhaps it was the heightened emotion. Perhaps it was those attractive dark cerulean eyes that pull her in every time or those lips that create that irresistible smirk. Or maybe because what else could go wrong at such a beautiful night?
Really, what could go wrong?
It was now or never. A new chapter was about to open after tonight. For Chloe, this was her turning point. Because Chloe Beale doesn't do anything half-heartedly. She goes all out until there is nothing left to give. And if kept any longer, she would explode.
"Beca,"
The brunette had just finished a phone call as she tucks her phone away at the back pocket of her jeans to look up at her, rather excitedly. She had just received a phone call from the record label she was interning and was now looking like she'd explode with joy any minute now.
"You wouldn't believe what just happened!" she exclaims eagerly as they stood by the side of the now empty stage, proceeding to tell Chloe that they'd be sending her to LA to work at their main office, that she'd finally get the chance to be producing her own music.
But everything was a blur to Chloe because all she could hear is the pounding of her heart. The music and noise around her died down and all she could see was the girl in front of her. The violet, orange and white lights dancing around them like little fireflies. Nothing exists anymore to Chloe but her, nothing but the two of them and three words in between.
"I love you,"
Chloe blurts out words that have remained unspoken for some time now. These words she had longed to say. These words that captured what she truly felt. These words, probably among the most abused of all words, mostly spoken lightly that the gravity of it has lessen in time, these words that despite that notion had come straight from her heart.
"Well, tell me something I don't know," comes Beca's playful reply, immediately misunderstanding the real meaning behind it, those words that Chloe is known to say to anyone she's ever been friends with.
"I am in love with you, Beca," her eyes never left Beca's. She then watches as those dark eyes loose the passion it had seconds ago. She watches as the smile slowly fades from her friend's lips. The emotions playing on Beca's face rapidly changing from excitement then shock and finally, confusion in seconds.
"I have been for a while and I don't think I can keep this in anymore. We've just graduated and I don't know what tomorrow holds except for one thing. I want to be with you, more than just a friend," she continues without missing a beat as she reaches for the brunette's hand. It was cold in contrast to her warm ones.
"Chloe, I-I—" Beca stutters but her words are silenced as Chloe drifts closely to her, the distance between becoming thin.
There is something about wanting something for so long and finally having it. Like a delicacy you've only seen but never tasted. It's like tasting chocolate for the very first time. Chloe's chocolate came in a form of soft lips. And like every first time, it's slow, a little unsure but you can't stop. You'd want to do it again and again.
That's exactly what Chloe did. She didn't come crashing or aggressive. Neither did she stop nor hesitated but she took it slow, took her time tasting Beca's lips for the first time. She pulled away gently, lingering for a moment, tilting her head to the other side and again pressing her lips against her newest addiction however, this time more needy. Her hand caressing Beca's cheek.
"Beca!"
It was brutal. To have something you love being ripped out from your arms was terrible and brutally painful. Chloe knew that now as the image of Jesse comes to view. He was mad, really mad. What was worse was the visible hurt in his eyes and it snaps Chloe from the haze she was in. It's a face that would be haunting her from now on.
Jesse looks from her to an equally stunned Beca before turning around to walk away without a word, his head shaking as if trying to erase whatever he just saw.
"I… I have to go," Beca mumbles, looking disoriented and unable to even look at her in the eye as she runs after Jesse, desperately calling out his name.
That image slowly burned its way to the back of her head. The world spun around her so fast she had to hold on to something or she'll crash. She made a disaster that is hopeless to repair and the worst part is, it all came from her heart. Standing motionless at the same spot, her eyes remained looking at the direction Beca had run off to.
Beca had made a choice and Chloe should have known, it was an obvious answer.
It finally dawns on her, all this time Chloe was the bad guy in this story, a beautiful story she had just ruined and Beca along with it. She had ruined her best friend, the one person she should be protecting. It was betrayal, even worse than a stab at the back and Chloe felt horrible. It came in waves, growing bigger as the seconds pass.
She felt numb as her legs finally moved. She didn't know where she was anymore, the people around her were reduced to blurry figures and colours. It didn't help that the pain emanating from her chest keeps intensifying and she feels like her heart is being viciously torn open.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you,"
The voice snaps Chloe to reality as her vision focuses on a familiar face. Aubrey, her other best friend and former Bella captain. She was saying something about having found two great restaurants down town and something about places they should visit before returning back to the US. However, it doesn't take long until she notices something's off because well, Aubrey probably has like a sixth-or seventh sense-and also because among all the people breathing in Copenhagen, or all of Europe for that matter, she knew Chloe the longest. For this same reason, it wasn't that hard for Chloe to show her the pieces of her freshly broken heart for the first time that night.
"So Beca already knows…" Aubrey sounded so certain about the cause and Chloe was just thankful that she didn't have to elaborate any further.
"Bree…"
That was it. With both her hands covering her muffled cries, she broke down miserably and forlornly. Thankfully, Aubrey catches her just in time because Chloe's weak legs were about ready to give way and drop her down the ground.
Chloe loved hugs, not only because they make one feel great, they also are a source of comfort in times of pain and sadness. But then for the first time it seems like that no matter how many times or how tight the hugs she was being given, her pain and guilt, even at the slightest amount, wouldn't go away.
There was only one solution.
She had to fix the mess she made. She had to at least try to repair what she destroyed. The damage may be too big but Chloe never gives up. She had always been a promoter of positivity and hope. There's always hope. So, even if it hurts, even if Aubrey's last words continue to ring in her head, this is a sacrifice she chooses to make. Simply because, that's love.
Because Chloe loves Beca, deeply and painfully.
"Jesse?"
"Chloe,"
The look and tone of animosity coming from him causes Chloe to almost flinch and retreat but she holds her ground, reminding herself of what she needed to do. She takes in a deep breath before starting.
"I'm sorry," she starts as Jesse lets out a puff of air, nodding sarcastically but it doesn't deter Chloe no matter how cliché her words sound like.
"What I did was wrong and I—"
"You are her best friend, Chloe! Best friend! Best friends don't kiss each other. Especially if said best friend has a boyfriend, her boyfriend of four god damn years which, for your information, happens to be me!" Jesse's voice booms as he paces from left to right. His words were like daggers being thrown at her but she takes them all, closing her eyes as a tear rolls down her cheek. She deserved every single blow and he wasn't done yet. There would be more.
"I trusted you! I trusted you because Beca trusts you. And what? You go on and seduce my girl from behind my—No, you stole her in front of my very eyes! All those times you were together and if I had known, if I had only known I would have never…" he trails off, finally standing still, hands on his hips as he shakes his head in disbelief. Unbearable silence follows.
"How long?" his question sends Chloe in a state of alarm as she immediately shakes her head.
"No, it's not like that. Beca—"
"Then what? Was I imagining things now? Did I or did I not see you kissing my girlfriend?" he shouts out and Chloe wasn't liking the way this was heading as her hands come up to rest on her head, desperately trying to remain in control but failing.
"Beca loves you!" Chloe shouts back and this time it is her who plunges the dagger right into her heart, slowly and excruciatingly.
"She loves you, not me! I kissed her, Jesse. It was me and only me alone," she continues despite the stream of tears.
"So crucify me all you want but not Beca. She isn't that kind of person, Jesse and you know that! A billion people could throw themselves at her but there's only one person she would choose and that's you," she sniffs, pressing even forward. She has to make it right. She has to, for Beca.
"And I know just how much you love her. That kind of love you both have, it should be protected. I'll admit, it's true, I love her. I've secretly been in love with my best friend for quite some time and yes, I messed up but I will always be Beca's best friend above anything else. This friendship is too important to be ruined by a stupid mistake," she pauses for a moment to take in air, the words she utters all genuine and sincerely from her heart. She meant every word and she would stick by it until the end.
Until the end.
"As her best friend, I want her to be happy. You make her happy and I swear, I would never ever get in the way of that happiness,"
"Nobody will," Jesse says firmly as he furiously wipes away a tear at the side of his eye.
"I'm truly, truly sorry. Please let me make this right, please," she pleads desperately as he looks at her, his expression serious and Chloe couldn't help but feel nervous. His decision would determine her fate.
Chloe is hanging, hanging on the edge of a cliff and she's desperate to survive. She'd do anything at this point to remain on land, to remain by Beca's side. However, the only way to do so is the most painful way.
So, she heads that way, trying to keep her emotions steady as she passes by people hanging around different kinds of music booths, scanning every corner until she finally finds the source of her broken heart.
She feels a chill gripping her as she walks closer. Beca sat on one of the few benches near the area, her back towards Chloe with her eyes shut closed. She had her head hung low, supported by her hands. The headphones on her ears blasting on to her only source of comfort right now, music. To be honest, if there was seriously one thing that Jesse should even be angry or jealous about it is Beca's love for music. The girl would choose music over sleep if she had to and sleep is included in Beca's list of favourite hobbies, mind you.
At this point, talking is useless. At least not with those headphones attached to her ears. It would be impossible for Chloe to start a conversation so she opts to go around the wooden bench moving in front of her best friend who still doesn't seem to feel her presence.
Slowly, Chloe crouches down to Beca's level. She reaches out and gently slips Beca's headphones off of her. Deep blues instantly look up back at her and when Chloe thinks that her pain could not go any worse, she was wrong. Because those eyes filled with sadness and dried up tears pained her than any other kind of pain she's ever been through.
"I'm sorry," she whispers what most probably is her favourite sentence of the day.
"Chlo—"
"Beca, I love you but if this selfishness and stupidity is what destroys everything then I'd rather lose my voice for the rest of my life than see you like this," she starts and as soon as Beca opens her mouth to speak Chloe immediately puts up a hand up to stop her from doing so. Chloe had to say this, at least before she completely crumbles apart. She had to fix this and the only way to do so is by telling Beca what she needed her to know.
"I want you to know that you and Jesse are the perfect match and I made the mistake of almost ruining something that beautiful. And I hate myself for that. I didn't know what I was thinking, well, you know me, I do before I think," she lets out a soft chuckle, quickly wiping a tear threatening to fall from the corner of her eye.
"Chloe—"
"Please, let me finish. I made a mistake tonight. A huge mistake that put your relationship with Jesse at risk. It also put our friendship at risk and I don't want that, Beca. I can't live with that. This—whatever this is, it's just a phase that will soon go away," Chloe nods, wanting so badly to believe in her own words, hoping that these feelings will eventually go away and everything will be back to normal. Just the way it had always been. She has to believe in it.
"I'll get rid of these stupid feelings, I promise. So please be my friend again, please? And I know it's a going to be awkward, uncomfortable and different than it was before but I'll take that as my punishment. It's all my fault and I clearly deserve that so please let me fix this," she finishes, forcing herself to look hopefully in to those eyes she loves so much.
"You'll always be my best friend, Chloe," Beca finally says and Chloe finds that it hurts more than she had expected but this was a better kind of hurt. She will be Beca's best friend for the rest of her life. She'd rather accept that with open arms than live a life without her.
It was hard. She's not going to lie about it. This was so hard. It feels like she's not going to make it through the night but she did. And now there's only one thing left to do.
Just one more
"I have to show you something," she says, gently taking Beca's hand and standing up but her best friend just sits and stares at her.
"Trust me, this is something you'd love," this finally brings Beca slowly on her feet as they begin to walk.
If Chloe were to be asked to look back one day, probably the last day of her life on earth, to remember the most painful sacrifice she's ever had to make she'd simply answer, that one beautiful night in the city of Copenhagen as she walks, leading the way and holding the hand of the one she truly loves. And if she were to be asked, why she chose what seems to be such a lovely memory then she'd say,
Because it was the night she gave away her love to somebody else's arms, to the one whom that person's destined to be with for the rest of her life. She'd probably say that she didn't think her heart would survive and continue to beat on that night but it did.
It did as she led Beca to a secluded place at the vast park, under a beautiful big tree filled with tiny lanterns of all sorts of colours hanging from the branches, where Jesse stood, waiting. It did even after she slowly released Beca's hand. It did even when she watched Jesse walk over to Beca. It did even after she took a step back, and another, and another, and another. It did even after she turned away to take one step forward, then another, then another, then another until she suddenly feels being held in someone's arms and pulled away. It did even when Aubrey opens the car and gently pushes her inside. It did even as Aubrey hugged her while she burst out in to tears, crying her heart out like never before.
"It's okay, it's okay, let it out, Chlo," she hears Aubrey softly say.
"Let it all out,"
I know, this weird masochist author is killing hearts here, there and everywhere. Also, I may or may not have finished writing the last chapter for Club Bellissimo so I might throw another chapter in a couple of days... just so the few of you guys won't murder me for continuously hurting our precious Chloe. Hi to the new readers and thank you to those who have continued to stay until now.
RJRMovieFan: I am taking this story to space. Kidding. I know this chapter doesn't exactly answer your questions but I promise things will all unfold in it's own time. What I can tell you though is that, there are 8 more chapters left to go.
Bechloe Legacy: I would like to say please don't cry, your tears are too precious for this but I'd also like to say thank you because it also means that I'm relieved to know that I've conveyed the right emotion through writing. No, seriously don't cry-cough-save it for later-cough-I wish all of us fanfic writers wrote the PP3 plot, with Bechloe as the center of the story. An amateur author can dream :) Chloe, represents all the people who loved someone truly & deeply despite the pain, and despite the fact that they may never be loved back in return. Chloe represents those who unselfishly only wish for their love's happiness and well-being (also called: people in the friendzone). And Emily will come back. That's all I can tell you for now.
Guest: I'm glad you think so. Aubrey and Emily... hmm honestly, I don't want to keep your hopes up because when I started writing this, I wasn't really thinking of romantically pairing those two but as I was halfway through this story, I think it's safe to say that those two actually share something special between them...or whatever it is between them. And I'll just leave it at that ;)
