Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters.
AN: I'm working on it.. *sweatdrop*
I locked myself in my room for a few days. The shock and the cocktail of emotions that clouded my mind had been too much for me.
I didn't remember anything after Blair asked to keep me. My mother told me the following morning that Blair had carried me home, unconscious, and laid me in bed. My mother, relaying on the information she had received from Blair, said that she brought me home because of a high fever, and that I had passed out in the car.
I was thankful that my mother hadn't received the details of what really happened. She said that the others had stopped by to check on me after the move. She had turned them away because I was still out. I had her turn them away the next two days with a similar excuse, but the truth was that I really didn't want to see anyone.
I knew it was selfish but my mind was caught up in permanently replaying what had happened in the woods. It was almost as if I couldn't tell if I had been dreaming or not. Blair didn't seem like the type to be interested in any of the girls at our school, and I very well couldn't believe that she really wanted me, over any of them. I remember passing out again from thinking too hard about it.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I was torn. Here was my newest best friend, the person I connected with the most in my transition in Forks. She was gorgeous and funny, practically perfect in everyway. We got along great, and we even had the same friends. But then I had to weight that against the fact that she was a vampire.
Once I really thought about it, the relationship between Edward and Bella jumper to forefront of my thoughts. I was assuming that Edward and Alice were also vampires, but I was sure that Bella was human. Their relationship seemed to be going quite strong, and Bella didn't seem to be bitten or broken in anyway, and I was quite sure that either of them would die for each other. And Alice. Alice got along great with everyone, she was quite the charmer.
If Bella and Edward could do it, maybe Blair and I could try. I pictured us standing next to each other holding hands and smiling. It was something that I would normally have considered corny, but it made me blush. The more I pictured Blair and me, the more I realized that I might like her more than a friend. I was good at hiding thing from myself. I remember all the times that she made me blush and I had come up with some sort of excuse. I thought about it more and more, and each time it just seemed right.
I wanted to talk to Bella first, and possibly Edward. I also thought that I had skipped out on my friends enough, and had already missed a day of school. I would track down Bella there.
My Tuesday started early. I had a rough time sleeping the previous night. I tossed and turned. I wasn't worried about going back to school, but more so that my friends wouldn't accept my apologies. I was also kept awake by my inability of coming up with what to say to Blair when I saw her.
I made my way to school, walking slowly and sighing the whole way, still not aware of what to say. As I entered the school grounds, I saw Edward, as if he was waiting for me. I got really nervous. Luckily, Edward eased the largest of my worries right off.
"Blair isn't here today."
I assumed now, that the whole reading people thing was a bunch of BS, and that Edward could actually read minds, "Is it because you're a vampire?"
"Yes."
"And Alice?"
"The same, but the transformation between human and vampire only awakens or amplifies an ability that may have lain dormant while the user was human."
"Meaning?"
"That if we retained our human memories better through the transition, I might remember hearing random people's thoughts, or I might not. Alice does retain any of her human memories, but after researching, we're quite sure that her abilities were present in her human lifetime."
Thought I had already determined the facts for myself, this information stunned me. Alice really could see the future, and Edward could read minds. I stood there for a moment, my mind blank, before wondering if Edward picked up everything, or only certain bits.
"Everything," he announced as a smug smile crossed his face.
So I really don't have to speak my questions, you'll just answer them?
"Correct."
My original reason for heading back to school popped up in my head.
"Everyone is in the courtyard, minus Blair."
I wondered where she was.
"She's hunting and taking some time to think.'
I shuttered when he mentioned hunting. I still wasn't quite sure what their diet consisted of, even if they weren't normal vampires. I notice Edward had taken some steps towards the courtyard and had stopped, waiting for me to catch up. I rushed quickly to his side and tried to keep his pace as he continued walking. I still had no idea what I was going to say.
"You know, no one is mad at you."
"I think I know this, but I'm mad at myself. I was mad at myself as soon as we left the restaurant. I know it seems selfish to apologize to people that aren't mad at me only as a way to make myself feel better, but I think it's something I need to do," I said, looking up at Edward.
Edward nodded and slowed his pace slightly for me. When we began to approach the courtyard, I dropped a couple steps behind Edward, as if I was hiding. We stopped in unison, but before I could step out and open my mouth, Alice had her arms around me.
"Apology accepted."
I looked at her for a moment, taking in what she said, then turned my head towards Bella and Christian. They both smiled at me and nodded. I smiled back brightly and returned Alice's embrace.
"If you're going to be so much of a bitch," Christian teased, "you should give us advanced warning.
I laughed as I pulled away from Alice and seated myself next to him, but Alice grabbed Christian's arms and pulled him up from the table.
"Lets go Christian."
Christian looked confused, but Alice wouldn't let go of his arm and he was forced to follow. Edward seated himself next to Bella and Bella looked back and forth between us.
"Alessa has questions."
Bella looked confused for a moment, but her face broke into an understanding expression as she mouthed oh. I thought of my first question.
"Our diet consists of animals only," Edward began explaining, "and we've been what we consider vegetarians for quite some time. Alice's partner Jasper is the newest to the lifestyle, so he still has issues sometimes, but Blair is on equal levels with my sister Rosalie."
"She's Jasper's twin right?"
Edward laughed when I said this.
"Not exactly. For all appearance purposes, at this school and according to the people of this town, she is. Rosalie was the fourth vampire to join our clan, her partner Emmett followed, then Alice and Jasper. My father Carlisle created me, then his partner Esme. None of are actually related. Blair is the only vampire I know with a blood relation that is also a living vampire. He roams Europe still though. I've never met him."
I glanced around the courtyard, attempting to take in what Edward had just explained to me. I looked at Bella cautiously, but she noticed and smiled at me.
I shivered as I thought back into the woods, as I had tried to prepare myself to be pierced by fangs. I wondered what it felt like. Edward laughed.
"Kinky, but we don't have fangs."
I looked towards Edward, "I'm sorry?"
"We don't have fangs," he said, then opened his mouth so that I could view his teeth. "We just bite like a normal human would."
"So if I was to be bitten by one of you, I wouldn't have two holes piercing me?"
"No," Edward chuckled, "you would have a mark that looked as if you had been bitten by an adult human."
I could feel my disappointment and my face must have shown it, because both Edward and Bella snickered. Edward suddenly stood up and looked towards the school hall.
"The bell is about to ring."
And so we stood and headed to class. Christian rushed to my side as soon as I put my foot across the classroom threshold for first period. He threw his arms around me.
"I'm so glad you're back. I've been so bored without you!"
"Christian… I missed one day."
"I missed you this weekend too! I can't bear to be without you anymore Alessa! Marry me, please?" he joked.
I laughed wholeheartedly for the first time in days. It felt so good. I was definitely glad to know that there was no awkwardness that I thought might be left from this weekend, if there was any at all. I hugged Christian back and followed him to find some seats.
The rest of the day went pretty smooth. I stayed with Christian in most of my classes, and spent my lunch period with him, Bella, and the Cullens. I headed to gym class afraid that I would see Blair there, but then remembered that she wasn't at school. I took my time in the locker room, and entered the gym feeling a little isolated. I had never really conversed with anyone else in the class, except the time Loren had asked me out. I was alone.
Loren, upon seeing my usual partner missing, volunteered to pair up with me for the day. I thought this was pretty nice. We chatted slightly while stretching. I thought that, since it had seemed to be a good day for asking questions, I would try my luck with Loren. I had a couple of other things I wanted cleared up.
"Can I ask you why you asked me out the other day?'
My first question seemed to catch Loren slightly off guard, but he was quickly to gain composure and laughed.
"Why else? I thought you were cute. You're not really easy to peg for a les, ya know?"
I nodded. I knew I never really registered on anyone's gaydar unless they were a gay man, hence Christian, and maybe some random guys, like Jacob. But then I thought that maybe Jacob had really good senses. I was pretty sure he was straight. I decided to continue my questioning as we lined up to for testing. Rope climbing… yay.
"And when you said there would be people I might find interesting?"
He seemed to be expecting this question.
"Well I have a couple friends who are lesbians as well. Actually, one of them has a class with you. Anyways, I told them that you had turned me down, and why. The one you have a class with got really excited. I think she likes you. The other knew who you are, but I think she'd rather tear you apart. She likes the one that likes you; I also think she has a crush on your gym partner. You know… one of those girls who can't make up their minds. Anyways, when you approached me and told me you were single again, I though you might find my friends interesting," he shrugged as he added, "But when your friends showed up and you didn't, it was slightly awkward, cause none of my friends or I knew any of your friends, except for the Cullens. Everyone knows of them, but no one knows them personally. The explained that you had gotten sick, and that your other friend had taken you home. We were all a little disappointed, and sorry that you had gotten sick."
I smiled slightly and apologized, but he dismissed it, mumbling about how no one was going to hold anything against me for being sick. As he took his turn attempted to climb the rope, I thought to myself. Not really about anything in particular either.
We continued through gym class, laughing and chatting. I felt really good knowing that things had gone well today. The fear and anxiety of coming face to face with Blair was still there though. I had no idea what I was going to say to her.
Edward and Alice gave me a ride home, and after answer question from my mother about the people I rode home with, I dumped my book bag in my room and headed for my swing.
I sat down on my wing and stared off into the woods for a moment. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my IPod. Upon pushing the buds into my ears, I turned up the volume, making sure that I couldn't hear anything else but the music. I began swinging, going higher and higher. The breeze against my face was relaxing as I began singing. By nature, I sung loudly, and I knew people outside the woods would hear it, but I didn't care.
"I don't get you. I can't forget what you've forgotten. All along, I've never been so alone."
I continued swinging, while thinking about everything that happened today, and about everything everyone said. Suddenly someone was pushing me from behind, as I had stopped kicking while lost in thought. I looked over my shoulder, almost scared that I would find Blair standing behind me, but instead I saw Jacob's face grinning at me. I pulled out my ear buds.
"You could have let me know you were here."
"I tried, but you couldn't hear me, and I tried walking in front of you, but your eyes were closed."
"Oh."
"You seemed a little out of it. Almost seemed as thought you can't multitask. Singing and kicking at the same time too hard for you?"
I glared over my shoulder at Jacob and huffed.
"I'm joking. You just seemed a little lost in thought when you stopped kicking, so I figured I'd give you a hand."
"I'm glad to know you think I'm incapable of doing it on my own jerk."
"Well, you know. I'm a chivalrous guy."
"Well it's a pity that I don't consider that chivalry. Nor am I into chivalrous guys."
"So you like assholes?"
I jumped off the swing and glared at Jacob until he took it back.
"Okay. I was joking. "
"You already know I don't like guys, period. Why would you make that joke?"
"Well, you could be into women like that. How am I supposed to know your type?"
I shrugged and began walking back towards my house.
"I guess I don't know, but I'm headed home. I'll see you later."
"Hey Alessa?" Jacob called after me.
"Yes?"
"You sing really well, in case you didn't know."
