Chapter Seven
C-Captain. She awakens in a dark, quiet room upon a lumpy bed. Wincing slightly as she forces herself into a sitting position, she at first expects to find the Captain's sleeping form lying on the bed beside her. Disappointment floods her when she notices Eren's bound form lying a few feet away from her instead.
What's going on? The moon's silver rays cast an ethereal glow around her dazed form as she shifts into a kneeling position staring blankly up at the sky in disbelief. Another dream…again? But it felt so right…so real. I wanted it to be—needed it to be real!
"With all due respect, sir—" She continues blinking blankly up at the moon in amazement, desperately trying to make sense of what had happened as heavy footfalls precede the newcomers' entrance. "It's not wise to—"
Where am I? The last thing I remembered was collapsing unto the bed with Captain Levi. Her gaze falls briefly to gently rub her flat stomach. The door creaks shut behind the newcomers as she detects movement from the corner of her eyes.
"I understand your concern but…" a vaguely familiar voice begins before trailing off. "Look at her."
"Just cuz she looks sweet an' innocent don't mean that she is." The second speaker replies gruffly. "Them folks is trained killers. Got ambushed and still managed to take down over ten of my best men."
That's right! Before that moment with Captain Levi, I had been on the wagon with Eren and Richard. Eight gunshots! The others, does this mean that they're all dead?!
"She's my child, Kenny." Her head snaps up, staring blindly up at the moon as the speaker moves to kneel before her. She remembers his wrinkled visage before it slips into view. "She will not hurt me."
Suddenly, she is ten again padding barefoot through her grandparents' farmhouse, book tucked snugly beneath her armpit as she picks a familiar route towards her room prepared to turn in for the night. There is a knock at the front door. Seeing no one else around, she shifts the book unto her other armpit and moves to unlock the heavy wooden door.
A short chubby man with sad, deep blue eyes strides in with measured steps. The first thing she notices is the trembling figure standing behind him on the front porch, eyes fixed firmly on the ground, too terrified to speak or look up, for fear of making eye contact.
Mother? She instantly recognizes her mother's favorite dark pink coat draped around the shivering figure's slender form.
"Nice to meet you…Historia." The man says, slipping his hat from his head to clutch meekly before him. "My name is Rod Reiss…I am your father." Historia turns once more towards her mother, waiting for some sort of confirmation of this stranger's identity. Silence greets her instead. "Historia…you'll be living with me now." He had taken her hand in his then before she could react or respond, leading her out towards a waiting carriage.
"Historia." Reality came screeching back as the portly stranger from a lifetime ago leans forward to embrace her numb form. "I am so very sorry…for everything I put you through. All these years….all I've ever wanted was to hold you in these very arms."
This can't be real. She discreetly pinches the back of her hand when he pulls away to inspect her at arm's length. That moment with the Captain felt real. Natural. This feels…strange. Random even. Like something my fatigued brain would think up after a long day of drills and training exercises.
Her gaze shifts to the side, taking in Eren's bound form observing them through tired, half-lidded eyes.
"You must be hungry." Rod Reiss says taking her small hands in his as he helps her slowly to her feet. The door swings open once more as a tall, slender blonde strides in.
"Captain." Historia's ears prick up as she turns towards the woman. She is addressing an even taller, lithe figure standing guard by the wall. "The carriage is ready." There is a cold terseness in her tone reminiscent of Annie Leonhardt.
"Right." The man steps forward. Historia instantly falls backward, a petrified scream frozen in the back of her throat as she searches the room for something to defend herself with.
"What's wrong, Historia?" Rod Reiss asks reaching out towards her once more.
"M-murderer!" She hisses pointing towards the tall man in the hat.
"Historia," Rod Reiss says, gently grabbing her shoulders and pressing her towards his chest with another hug. "Please. It's not what you think."
"Lord Reiss, we don't have time for this." The man in the hat complains. "Y'all can catch up in the carriage along the way."
"He's right sir." The blonde says turning to address them. "The Survey Corps might be in disarray but they won't remain that way for long. Our opponents are lethal titan slayers with a strong devotion to their cause bordering zealotry. We cannot give them a chance to recover and catch up with us."
"Right," Rod Reiss nods. "Historia, please. Trust me. There isn't much time and I still have much to explain to you."
"Leave him alone!" The blonde cries out when a pair of military police officers plucks Eren from his bed. "Please. What are you going to do to him?" She asks turning to face her father.
"Listen to me, Historia." Rod's large hands close around the side of her face. "You are very special."
"Special?" She wonders tilting her head in confusion.
"Yes. Royal blood runs through your veins." He explains taking her by the hand and gently leading her towards the door. Down the steps they go and out onto the front porch. Eren is carefully lowered unto the carriage floor by a pair of officers who step aside as Rod and Historia approach.
"I don't understand." She says shaking her head as the carriage door shuts behind them. Eren stirs slightly at their feet, earning a sympathetic look from her. "How can I be royalty?"
"Because you are my daughter." Her eyes widen. "Years ago our family was forced to retreat to the shadows in order to protect the great power of our bloodline. A power that runs through your very veins. Historia…my precious daughter. You alone possess the power to save this wretched world and free us from the throes of perdition."
"You sent me away." Blue eyes narrow coldly.
"To save your life." He responds, clutching her tiny hands in his. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too. It was the only way."
"But why?" She asks, tears stinging her eyes as she meets his gaze. "I recognize that man! He's the one who killed mother."
"Historia, you weep for a woman who despised your very existence and treated you with abhorrence from the moment you were conceived within her." The blonde freezes at this, offering no response or defense. "While she may not have deserved to die, she did play some role in her untimely demise."
"And my friends?" Historia demands through clenched teeth. "Did they deserve their deaths as well? They were only defending themselves. They don't understand what's going on. They're trying to save humanity by investigating the truth of this world, the walls and the secrets of the titans!"
"The night we met," The sheen of regret is heavy in his eyes as he lowers his gaze. "You were clutching a book in your free hand. Am I correct in assuming that it was a book of old fairy tales and legends?"
"It was," Historia replies with a suspicious frown. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"It reminded me of a popular fairytale often included in such books," Rod replied leaning back in his chair. "Perhaps one you're familiar with. The Tale of Selene's Jaunt." Historia's eyes narrowed once more at this but she said nothing, far too confused to articulate a response. "So you are familiar with the tale. Well, what if I told you that that fairytale—like most of the ones we know and love—was inspired by real-life events and people."
"What do you mean?" The petite blonde asked quietly. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Perhaps, it would work best if I retold the story and explained its similarities to its real-life inspiration." He sighed turning to stare out of the carriage window.
"I deeply suspect that a time will come when we'll have to pick between saving you or Eren. With our limited resources and rapidly dwindling manpower, this might be the most desperate and important decision we ever make. Naturally, any choice we make carries its own unique benefits, risks, and contingencies we need to account for. To fully appreciate this, we need to know what exactly we're risking our lives for. There will be casualties, some heavier than others. So far we only have one piece of the puzzle."
Could it be? Could this story be a clue to the mystery behind my importance? He claims we are of royal blood but what makes him so certain? And if so what is this power in our blood he mentioned earlier and why did we need to protect it in the first place?
"As the tale goes, in that land there were gods. These beings ruled specific places, seasons and even events of human life. Selene was the young daughter of the god of the moon who, now much advanced in his age, had begun teaching her the duties and responsibilities that came with his work. But she was selfish, reckless and impatient so she stole some power from her father and fled to the human world to escape his wrath. But the world of mortals proved even more treacherous for a young goddess. Soon Selene was swept away by the mortals' materialistic ways and allowed herself to be seduced and corrupted. In time she forgot her celestial heritage and lost the means to return home to the moon.
"Meanwhile the god of the moon sent word of his daughter's disappearance, imploring his allies to locate and return her home. But they were unable to recognize her in her debased form and blindly passed her over. When his enemies caught wind of his daughter's betrayal, they set out in turn to find her and quickly located her. Although they restored some of her memories, they corrupted and perverted her even further. Selene managed to escape from their clutches and fled to her father's house. But when the god of the moon saw Selene he did not recognize her and instantly destroyed her in a rage when she claimed to be his long-lost daughter. As the wind scattered her remains, his enemies appeared at his door laughing and revealing his own stupidity before departing—content to watch him wither away with the knowledge of his sin. The moon fell shortly thereafter, plunging the world into piercing darkness and chaos, leaving only the sun to defend humanity from wickedness."
A moment passed when the steady hoof-beats of the carriage horses on cobbled roads filled the air around them. The blonde blinked blankly at the portly man sitting across from her, studying his features carefully for any sign of deception or malevolence. Resignation was evident in the slope of his small shoulders, desperation in the sheen of his dark blue eyes as he turned them towards her once more.
"The story that inspired that fairytale is one that precedes the erection of these walls."Her eyes widened at this as a soft gasp of shock escaped her. "Yes, Historia. It's true. In those days there were empires stretching across continents. Kingdoms of immeasurable wealth and power. The mightiest of these kingdoms drew its power from the loyalty and courage of its fine people. The king who led them had twin children, a son and a daughter who he loved dearly. Although similar in appearance, the prince and princess were strikingly different. While she was weak in mind and constitution, her beauty and charisma endeared her in the hearts of the people who adored and favored her much like her father. The prince while strong and intelligent was arrogant and aloof with a cruel and apathetic disposition. In those days, the King had sought to have his children rule jointly with his daughter inspiring the people while his son tended to political and military affairs abroad. But a powerful military commander, who had recognized the princess' beguiling prowess and potential, seduced and manipulated her, poisoning her against her father and brother.
"When the King learned of this, he had the commander executed for high treason. Devastated by the loss of her beloved, the princess fled with her fiancé's brothers who perverted her with his greed, warmongering, and ambition. Soon they amassed forces strong enough to not only challenge her father but to divide and oppress the nation in senseless civil conflict. Furious at his daughter's deeds and moved by the suffering of his people, the king ordered his son to destroy the princess and her allies once and for all. The despotic prince easily dispatched of his sister and her followers before turning on his own father who he blamed for her rise to power. The people easily turned on the prince once he succeeded his father, overthrowing and killing him after only a year under his oppressive regime. With no one to lead it, the kingdom quickly fell and was overrun by its neighbors and enemies."
"How awful." Historia gasped as her father finished his dreadful tale. "It is even worse than the tale it inspired."
"Reality is often stranger and crueler than fiction." Rod Reiss agreed, reaching forward to take her hands in his again. "You know this better than anyone else."
"But still…" Historia's gaze fell to Eren's motionless form at her foot and her shoulders trembled with immense shame. "My friends, comrades—"
"All pawns following orders blindly. Easily discarded and replaced." His hands moved to still her shaking shoulders as a kind smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "But not you, Historia. My daughter. You are the daughter of kings. The blood that runs through you blesses you and your progeny with the ability to not only save this wretched world but to rule it."
"R-rule it."
"Yes my child." His hands slide to take her hands in his once more. Her gaze lowers as he turns over her palms, inspecting the veins of her wrists with a small smile. "To rule. Everything I've done—from that night five years ago up until this very moment—every step I've taken has been specifically calculated to lead to our reunion."
"But you killed Pastor Nick. Tortured him!" Tears spilled from her eyes.
"It was a necessary sacrifice." He assured her with a heavy sigh. "The secrets he knew—the ones he took with him to his grave would have inspired chaos and anarchy if they had fallen into the wrong hands. We cannot even begin to hope to survive such an outbreak within these cramped walls." An image of her friends squabbling in the cottage kitchen flashed before her, spurring her to speak.
"But the Survey Corps are the defenders of humanity. It's spear and shield against the titans." She sobbed shaking her head in disbelief. "The liberators of humanity."
"The Survey Corps seeks knowledge blindly and recklessly." Rod Reiss replied. "Or have you not been paying attention?" Historia's eyes widened as he shook her gently. "Their mismanagement of Eren Jaeger's titan abilities has resulted in catastrophic losses and senseless sacrifices. First the disastrous Fifty-Seventh Expedition beyond the walls then the devastation of Stohess. In order to stop them, we had to eliminate any possibility of them acquiring further forbidden knowledge whilst scattering them to the wind."
"But they're good people." Historia insisted as images of Ymir and her other friends flashed before her eyes. "Every single one of them is simply doing what they feel is best for humanity and their very own survival."
"There's a saying Historia, that there is nobody more terrifying than the desperate." He responds with a cynical scoff. "You and I both know now that there is truth in that saying."
The blonde sank her head in defeat unable to offer a response or defense. She recalled the devastation of the ill-fated expedition, the rumors of the catastrophic death toll from the Stohess Offensive. Even for the sake of humanity, the sacrifices made seemed too steep a price to pay. After all, who was to decide what lives were more important than others? What lives worth sacrificing for the sake of mankind? She recalled the horrifying screams of Nanaba and Gelgar as they were overwhelmed by titans whilst protecting her and the other cadets at Utgard castle. What made them so expendable? Did their skills and experience as titan slayers not make them infinitely more valuable than a bunch of snot-faced brats still finding their feet in the world?
Eren wiggled weakly against his binds prompting the blonde to turn towards him with a sympathetic frown.
So many lives lost that day in Trost defending him long enough to regain his wits and seal the wall. She thought, burying her face in her hands. All those soldiers the Fema—no Annie trampled and squished on her path to him. Had we caught her that day, the sacrifices made would have been justifiable and the people of Stohess would have been spared. Who knows? Perhaps Section Commander Zacharias and his men would still be with us right now had we known what we were doing then.
"It's alright Historia." Rod Reiss said moving to settle into the seat beside her before promptly pulling her against his chest with a comforting pat. "Thankfully, we were able to rescue you before your own corruption was complete. Now you may assume your rightful place as the savior of humanity."
"My rightful place."
"Yes, my daughter." He replied pulling apart to meet her eyes. "As a descendant of kings, it is your sacred duty to the people of this world to right the wrongs of this land and cure the iniquity of mankind." Her eyes widened at this as she watched in silent wonder. "We have spent decades in the shadows watching and guiding this land down the right path. We mustn't stop now."
"So," Gelgar chuckled as Historia and the other rookie cadets filed into the mess hall from the stables, exhaustion weighing down their limbs and faces. "You sorry saps were the only ones moved enough by Commander Smith's little speech to become Scouts, huh?"
"Little speech?" Reiner had fumed clenching his fists. Bertholdt had stepped forward to place a calming hand on his friend's shoulder. "Right, whatever."
"Enjoy it while it lasts rookies." Gelgar had scoffed. "It's all downhill from here."
"Gelgar!" Lynne and Nanaba had scolded in unison.
"What? I'm just being honest." The blond had shrugged nonchalantly. "They better hear it now so they have no illusions or misconceptions about the state of things."
"I think Commander Ervin did a pretty good job at the graduation ceremony." Nanaba had returned coolly.
"We get it," Jean had sighed. Regret tingeing his voice. "Things are pretty grim and the situation's pretty desperate now—"
"But," Lynne had said giving the cadets an assuring smile. "Humanity's desperation is what makes us stronger."
"How'd you figure?" Gelgar had sighed arching a skeptical eyebrow.
"'If you are curious you will learn," Nanaba replied. "'But if you are desperate, truly desperate, you will discover.' Those were Commander Smith's words to my peers and I at our own graduation ceremony. Granted, that was long before the walls fell but still…they ring even truer now."
"Sleep Historia," Lord Reiss said gently coaxing Historia's head unto his lap. The blonde quietly obeyed as he shifted slightly to throw his coat unto her shoulders, encasing her in a comforting warmth. "You will need to recover your strength for what lies ahead."
"Long time no see, Historia." Ymir smiled shifting slightly to create space on the log for me to settle down beside her. "I'm surprised you hopped off the Captain's dick long enough to come check up on me." Heat filled my cheeks as I lowered my head in shame at the hurt and disgust in her tone.
"I'm sorry." I offered contritely reaching out to touch her hand on the log between us.
"What for?" Ymir scoffed arching an eyebrow. "Judging by those noises you were making you were clearly enjoying yourself." I shook my head as tears began to fill my eyes.
"No, it's not like that!"
"No?" Her lips hardened as she grabbed a fistful of my shirt pulling me forward. "Were you or were you not enjoying yourself, Historia Reiss?" I turned away, squeezing my eyes shut in horror, willing Ymir's voice away in desperation. The grip on my shirt slackened as I felt something stir suddenly beside me.
"What's wrong?" Captain Levi asks watching me carefully. He is seated at the edge of the bed. Although he is still shirtless, I notice that he has already slipped into his slacks and shoes. His fingers graze my forehead and I am tempted to smack it away. "Nightmare?"
"I-I'm not sure." I offer carefully picking myself up. I feel his gaze on me as I rise from the bed, securing the sheets around my naked form as I pad softly into the bathroom to wash my face. When I return, the room is empty. "Wait! Please come back! Don't go."
The familiar warmth of his body fills the space behind me as tears sting my eyes. I turn and fling myself into his arms with reckless abandon, sobbing quietly into his chest. His hands slowly but surely rise to stroke my head and shoulders, holding me close against him as I cry myself hoarse.
"Better?" He asks when I pull away to face him. I sheepishly shake my head, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"I'm scared," I admit. "I don't know what to do. Part of me is thrilled to finally be important. To be needed."
"Which is perfectly understandable given your childhood." He states understanding tingeing his eyes.
"But the other part of me…" I trail off unsure of how to articulate the guilt gnawing away at me. "When I told you I loved you…I really meant it."
"I see." His tone is mildly skeptical as he releases her, moving to stand before the window staring into the piercing blackness beyond. "And how would you know what love is when you've been unloved and unwanted all your life?"
"Because of …because…"
"Love is a feeling," he turns around to face me. "We give it when we want it." I shake my head in disbelief, backing away from him. "You've managed to delude yourself into falling in love with an idea of me without knowing or fully comprehending the man beneath the shell. All in order to receive the love and acknowledgment you've craved your whole life."
"That's not true. I do love you!"
"You and I both know the feeling is far from mutual." A tightness begins to grow in my chest as I sink unto the bed with a frustrated sob.
"Liar! In the forest!" I retort shaking my head defiantly. "I saw it in your voice. Your hands—"
"That was lust." He replied dismissively. "Primitive and carnal reactions to an intense situation. It's no different from reflexes in combat."
"I don't believe you!"
"That's entirely your choice." I gasped and felt the oppressive tightness in my chest intensify.
"Why?" I ask crawling forward to grab hold of him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you saying these things to me?"
"I warned you back then that what you wanted I could not possibly give you." He replies coldly. I shake my head, burying my fists into his chest. His hands seize my wrists, stopping me as I meet his gaze once more.
He is taller now, much taller with tan olive skin and a smattering of freckles on his once pale cheeks, his hair an auburn hue that falls past his cheeks framing his now-long oval face.
"Ymir!" I am thankful to be dressed once more as I release her.
"I wonder," her voice is low and soft as she tilts my chin higher towards her face, rubbing aside the tears streaming down my left cheek with a bitter smile. "If you ever cried for me like this."
"Ymir I—!" Her hands fall to my neck, tightening painfully as they shove me backward unto the bed. I kick and claw at her fingers desperately trying to get away. She climbs on top of me, straddling my waist as she moves one hand to gather my wrists and pin them high above my head.
"I almost lose my life saving you and those bastards at Utgard castle," she hisses retracting her hand from my neck. "And what do I get? Nothing. Instead, you let those fucking freaks kidnap me while I'm unconscious and force me to choose between staying with you and survival."
"Ymir p-please! You're hurting me." She balls her free hand into a tight fist, plunging it deep into my stomach knocking the breath out of me. I double over in pain as she releases my hands, snatching a handful of my hair which she tugs back savagely.
"Please bitch! It's not nearly as much as you hurt me!" She growls. Almost on a whim, she snatches at the front of my shirt, ripping it aside and sending my buttons scattering all over the bed. I gasp as she snatches my breast into her mouth suckling roughly through the fabric of my chemise. "Do you have any idea how it feels being cast aside for some brooding pipsqueak with a bad haircut?!"
"I d-didn't—oof!" I cry out, tears stinging my eyes as a vicious slap sends my head spinning in the opposite direction.
"You fucking slut!" She roars, her tears of anger soaking into my half-ripped chemise as she presses me fast against herself, digging her hand into my pants to penetrate me. I twist my eyes and scream out in pain. "But I suppose with a hussy for a mother you couldn't help yourself."
"Ymir, please! I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry!" The sound of ripping fabric fills the air as her claw-like nails shred my clothes apart, leaving angry claw-like marks along my skin.
"Sorry he didn't fuck you senseless that night by the tree, huh?" She is gnawing at my neck now as her fingers twist my bleeding nipples savagely. "I've seen the way you look at him. The things you wish he'd do to you! You want him to impregnate you! To fill you up with his seed until your belly is fat and swollen with his bastards and these mosquito bites you have for breasts sag with milk."
Although I shake my head vigorously, my body betrays me. My vulva twitches obscenely and begins to moisten in anticipation.
"P-please Ymir. I'm n-not like that." I plead hoarsely.
"Not what? Not your mother's bastard daughter?!" She spits out vehemently. "Spare me, please! You expect me to believe that any woman capable of seducing a married man is incapable of producing a slut who openly lusts for a commanding officer over twice her age?!"
"YMIR! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" I bellow at the top of my lungs as her claws plunge deeper and deeper into me. Reaching for the headrest above me, I try to crawl out from beneath her. She seizes my hands and twists them painfully behind my back causing me to cry out even louder.
"So?" She asks viciously. "Where's your precious Captain Levi Ackerman now, huh?"
"Ymir p-lease stop this. You don't have to do this?"
"Why not?" She growls jealously into my ear. When I say nothing in response she continues gnawing at my neck. There is a sickening squelching sound as blood seeps into the white sheets beneath us. Burning steam sends me flying into the air as a fiery gold spark explodes around me. I land hard on the floor and barely have enough time to scramble to my feet before I am snatched into the air by Ymir's titan form. "What does he give you that I haven't given you?! What does he have that I don't have?!"
"Please," I manage to wheeze out as her grip tightens around my midsection forcing me to choke on my own blood. "It's…not…like that."
"It is exactly like that!" She screeches. "If I can't have you all to myself then no one else will!"
"YMIR!" Her jaws snap open, revealing rows of knife-like teeth.
"Historia!" Rod Reiss' eyes are wide with concern as he hovers above his daughter's groggy form. It takes the blonde several moments to realize that the carriage has stopped moving.
"Eren?!" She asks sitting up immediately when she notices the empty space on the carriage floor where her friend had been lying earlier.
"He's inside." Lord Reiss replies reaching out to help her into a sitting position. It is past midday and they have just arrived at a darkened manor deep within the woods. She follows her father outside the carriage, jumping down with wide, attentive eyes as she takes in their surroundings, searching for some identifiable landmark to help place their current location. "You were having a nightmare just now." She nods in response but says nothing further on the matter as she moves to follow him.
"Is this the place?" She wonders with a confused look. He shakes his head as he leads her past a pair of armed officers posted by the entrance doors.
"No, we are still a day's ride away from our destination." He replies. "However, our escorts have been fighting all day and need to rest and recharge so we're stopping here for now." She notices the roughish man in the hat from before leading a pair of soldiers down into the cellar, Eren's prone form pressed between them.
"Where are they taking him, father?" She asks.
"To the basement." He replies. "He is far too dangerous to contain above ground in his titan form. Should he transform while we're asleep, he'll be contained and trapped below."
That's right. To them, he's the enemy. Dangerously volatile, to be restrained and monitored at all times.
"Father, if I talk to him I'm sure I can make him see reason." She pleads, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt as he moves to ascend the stairs. "Help him understand what's going on and why you had to do what you did. Eren is stubborn. You cannot hope to restrain and control him for long. If you do not win him over he will always oppose us no matter what."
"Historia," he turns to face her with a sad smile. "I'm sorry but you're far too precious to me to risk losing you. I understand he's your friend and comrade but please my daughter, heed your father's warning and stay away from that boy."
"But he's only a threat because he's confused. If I can just…"
"And what if you can't convince him?" He asks quietly. "What if all you manage to achieve by going to him is convincing him that you have also betrayed him? What then? If he turns titan and attacks us, do you have what it takes to restrain him? To placate him? Do you have what it takes to kill him should all else fail?"
Slowly but surely her grip of his sleeve loosens as her hands begin to fall to her side. His large hand grabs her small hand in his causing her to meet his gaze. He gives her hand an affectionate squeeze and she feels her heart swell with emotion. Tears of joy sting her eyes as she allows her father to lead her upstairs to her sleeping quarters.
"Historia," she turns to face him with an expectant smile. He is standing by the doorway, a small blush tinting his cheeks as he closes the door behind him. "Forgive me, it's just that—I know I shouldn't be asking this of you—you don't owe me anything you know. I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable responding to this but I feel a little guilty just not addressing this with you as your father."
"Ask me anything, father." Her small hands close around his returning the affectionate squeeze from before. His mouth parts slightly before spreading into a wistful smile. "Earlier when you were sleeping, you started mumbling something to yourself. Tell me….Historia…is there someone precious within the Survey Corps? Someone you cannot bear to be apart from? Someone, you love most ardently?"
"And how would you know what love is when you've been unloved and unwanted all your life? Love is a feeling, we give it when we want it."
She begins to shake her head when she notices a small leather-bound notebook poking out from the pocket of his waistcoat. Light blue eyes widen as she recognizes the initials "P.R." inscribed on its cover.
Author's Note: Sorry for the late post but I got stuck rewatching episode 8 of season three! I've already started on the next chapter. Hopefully, I have enough time to finish it and post it tonight. Otherwise, I'll try to find some time to re-read and edit it during the week so I can update it accordingly. Due to my hectic schedule, I am only able to write during the weekends so forgive me for the seemingly sporadic posts. Typically, I am often forced to rewatch episodes or specific scenes in order to reorient myself and the characters accordingly. This understandably takes some time but judging by the response this story has received I imagine it's been very helpful. I'm glad Historia's feelings for Captain Levi seem well developed and organic because it was very difficult for me to cut out certain scenes and pieces of dialogue I felt were rushed, forced or just plain old out of character.
