Chapter 7 – Reflections
'Hey Dylan, what's up?' Amez asked awkwardly after a few moments of silence.
Dylan continued to stare at her coldly, 'Oh, not much really. Why, finally decided to take notice in me again, have you?' he replied icily.
Amez was taken aback by his statement. 'What are you talking about?' she asked in confusion, standing up.
'Well, I just feel a bit left out, is all. You completely dissed me the other day after dinner, when all I wanted was to say good-night, then you ignored me all of yesterday, only speaking to me in an accusing tone during the argument with your mother regarding Widdershin's obvious lack of control, then again you ignored me all of today. Yet Widdershin has barely left your company,' he moved a few steps towards her menacingly, 'Why is that? Is it that you don't trust me or something?' he thrust his face into hers as he leaned on the head of the bench.
'First of all, Dylan, you tried to kiss me, and I didn't like it, and all you did was laugh and take off, so of course I'd be a bit weary after,' Amez answered angrily, taking a step backwards out of his proximity and continuing before Dylan had a chance to respond. 'And second, the next day Widdershin and I were shopping for my birthday party supplies, so I was busy. Thirdly, I was right! It wasn't fair of mom to say Pokemon have no control when you yourself, a Pokemon, are the Deity in charge of it! And today again, we were busy! I wasn't purposefully ignoring you, my minds just been on other things this week,' she spat, realising her voice had gotten louder the further she went with her speech.
Dylan raised an eyebrow, 'Your minds too busy to make time for your best friend?'
'You're not my best friend, Dylan. Widdershin is,' Amez retorted instantly.
'Since when?'
'Since forever! And you know that! Did you forget? What's up with you today? You're acting so strangely,' Amez shook her head at him.
'So what does that make me then, a mere acquaintance?'
'What? No, you're a good friend! Just… seriously, what is up with you lately?' Amez stressed as she folded her arms in annoyance.
'When are you going to see that Widdershin is dangerous?! He can't control his strength! Look at what he did to Glameow! Do you want to be crushed to death the same way?' Dylan yelled at her, furious at her defiance.
'Widdershin didn't kill Glameow! He was with me the whole time! And I know him, he wouldn't hurt a fly! I don't know what happened to Glameow, but I defiantly know it wasn't Widdershin! I'd stake my life on it,' Amez fumed at the boy across from her, not believing in what he was implying.
'You'd actually be willing to die to prove your faith in that Infernape?' Dylan was shocked, and it showed clearly on his face.
'Yes. Always,' Amez declared proudly, 'Why do you have this sudden problem with Widdershin? What's he ever done to you to make you behave like this?'
Dylan ignored her question. 'What, so you wouldn't be willing to die to prove your faith in me?' he crossed his arms as he bowed his head in fury, his shaggy black highlighted hair covering his pale face.
'Maybe before, but...' Amez shook her head quickly, 'Of course I would! It's just, you've changed, Dylan. You've become…so much angrier,' Amez shook her head again, sadly. 'And truth be told, it's beginning to scare me.'
She watched him for a moment, her face a mixture of pity, concern, and fear, before stepping back further and manoeuvring around the bench, intending to return to the house, before Dylan grabbed her arm, forcefully stopping her and prompting her to look at him.
'Hey. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm just concerned for your safety. If you believe that Widdershin isn't dangerous, then I believe you,' he smiled down at her, his blood red eyes open and warm.
'Thank-you!' Amez responded indignantly, tugging her arm away, however Dylan didn't let go.
'What's the rush? Let's sit together,' he proceeded to drag her round the bench and sit her down, despite her feeble attempts at struggling.
Still holding her arm, he leaned back, stretching as he let out a tension releasing sigh, before throwing his arm casually around Amez's shoulders, her stiff posture unnoticed by him. Amez knew better than to try and fight him anymore, his strength way surpassed hers, and she knew if she tried to do anything she just be hurting herself physically. Letting out her own sigh, although hers of frustration, she slumped back in defeat. He was her friend. He had spent his whole life watching over her ever since she was born, she shouldn't be afraid of him. And yet, she was, somewhat.
'So what did you and Widdershin do today?' Dylan asked, smiling as he leaned back comfortably, his grip on Amez not loosening at all.
'We went to visit Glameow's grave,' she answered, still not ease in his presence, wondering what his reaction would be to the touchy subject.
But Dylan kept a calm gaze, merely nodding as he closed his eyes, obviously not listening. Amez sighed internally, propping her elbows on her knees as best she could in the awkward position, resting her face in her hands, letting her hair fall between them.
'So what else did you do?' Dylan spoke up a minute later, cutting through the heavy silence.
'That was it. We got up late, so yeah, it took us a while to get there, and even longer to get back, we'd only arrived back a few minutes before you showed up'.
Dylan opened his eyes at that and sat up, a slight scowl bracing his features. 'What do you mean "we" got up late? Is Widdershin still sleeping in your room?'
'Technically it's our room, so yeah, he is,' Amez crossed her arms and inched away, Dylan letting her, but his arm remained a vice-like grip, preventing her escape.
They were silent for a while. Amez was staring at the ground, her face closed and unreadable as she remained in her tight, upright, uncomfortable position, Dylan watching her. The wind had picked up slightly, bringing in with it lost leaves that hadn't yet been eaten by the decreasing temperatures, which danced around the pond, some blowing right in, leaving wide-spread circles in peaceful patterns in their wake.
'I'm sorry. About Glameow,' Dylan finally said, his voice softer and less angry than before.
'Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault,' she turned to face him, but he was looking down and away from her, his shaggy bangs blocking his face from view, 'or Widdershin's, before you start blaming him again,' she seethed quickly as he looked up again, his red eyes blank, but dark.
'It wasn't anyone's fault,' Amez continued as she folded her hands in her lap, pulling the sleeves of her cashmere sweater over her wrists, 'It was…her time to go, I guess. But she's in a better place now, with Dad.'
At the mention of her father, Dylan slumped forward even further, his arm leaving Amez's shoulders as he hid his face in his hands. Despite his skin already having a cool touch, Amez suddenly felt much colder without his arm around her. Shuffling closer to him, her previous fears of his forceful touch now completely forgotten at the feeling she had without it, and concern filling its place, she gently placed her hand on his shoulder.
'Hey, are-'
But Dylan shrugged her hand off, sitting up again slightly and inching away, leaving Amez's hand now outstretched grasping air, her face full of confusion and worry as he turned away from her. After a pause and a breathe, she dropped her hand slowly, looking down as it rested on the empty spot on the bench beside her where Dylan had been sitting just a few moments ago. She bit her lip as she pulled her hand back, unsure of what to say at her friend's sudden bipolar change of behaviour.
'Do you miss him?' Dylan spoke up, his face looking up but still turned completely away from her.
'Hm?' Amez answered softly, her mind having lost track of the conversation after Dylan's actions.
'Do you miss Nathan?'
'I…' Amez stopped, not really sure how to answer. 'Well, I never knew him; he passed away when I was a baby. I never had his presence in my life, I can't exactly miss something I never really had but, I guess…I guess I…I just, I don't know! I can't answer that question! I…' her voice broke off, prompting Dylan to turn around to find her with her hand under her chin and her other arm hugging herself, a pained expression on her face.
'I…all that I have of him is a dream, and that's not real. I can barely remember it, because dreams fade! When we were at the graveyard, I saw his tomb, and I had a memory of when I was young of mom crying when I asked her what a "daddy" was,' her eyes scrunched up as she covered her mouth with her hand in an attempted to hid her face.
Dylan shook his head sadly, his smooth mask finally broken as his red pool eyes cracked. Sliding back over to her instantly, but slowly, cautiously, he gingerly, as if afraid, put his arm over her shoulder again in an attempt at comforting her, and wasn't prepared for her reaction. Instead of pushing him off or shying away, Amez collapsed into his shoulder, burying her face into his hoodie, her whole body turned away from the world. Dylan blinked in surprise, but his look of sorrow remained clear, no sign of lust at the unexpected close contact.
'I never had the chance to know him, he was taken away before I could. He died protecting us from Cyrus and his machine, you know! You were there! Mom told me it was you who had killed him, but I knew it wasn't, and then I found out the real truth when he told me face-to-face,' Amez cried into his chest, yet no tears fell, only dry sobs erupted from her. 'Cyrus killed my father, and yet I don't hate him!' she finally looked up at him, her eyes wide and innocent as she revealed her secret, 'Is that bad?!'
Dylan sighed, and shook his head. 'No, Amez, that's not bad at all,' he tried to explain gently.
'But, people always say "a life for a life", but I don't want more people dying! Especially for someone like that, who has no family to miss them or mourn them. Is it bad that I want a bad person to live? I tried to save him when he fell off the platform in the Torn World, but he did fall. He did so many terrible things, he killed my father, he took over your home, he broke up my home, he took my Mom's love away, he nearly killed you! Am I a bad person for trying to save him when he deserved to die? Is the fact that I couldn't let him fall when I had every reason too a sign of weakness?'
Amez let her head fall against Dylan's chest again, a single tear falling as she closed her eyes, her breathing light and sallow. Dylan softly put his own hand under her chin, gently drawing her face up towards him as he wiped her tear away with his thumb. 'No Amez. Valuing life is not a weakness. It takes great courage to be able to face someone who has done you wrong and forgive them. Life thrives on forgiveness, as without forgiveness, there can be no hope for redemption. I should know, I'm the Controller of Chaos and the Deity of Death. I'm the embodiment of both elements, I have the power of both strengths, I am a Deity, yet I don't have your power of forgiveness. Remember that story of me, about the swordsman who smote Pokemon? I took his life because he took the lives of Pokemon, even when he admitted to his sin and begged for forgiveness, I still took it, without giving him a chance to redeem himself. He pled that he had been blind to Pokemon being alive, but by taking his life, I was blind too.' He looked ashamed, and made a move of about to push himself away, but Amez reached up and placed her warm hand on his cool check, stopping him.
'You're not a bad person, Dylan, not in the least! That was your duty as a Deity, and a duty you didn't even deserve to have in the first place! And even so, you've done so many good things! Arceus wouldn't have given you your original duties if you had been bad!'
He brought his own hand up, placing it tenderly over her own. 'I'm so sorry Amez…for everything.'
'You have nothing to be sorry for-'
'Yes, I do. I…' he stared down into her wide, innocent eyes, gazing into them for a moment, before looking away, 'You've lost so much, yet you remain so strong. How?' he breathed.
Amez let out a harsh laugh, before replying, 'As I told you before, I never knew my dad, I've never had the presence of a father-figure in my life, so I can't miss him. And Glameow, even though she was my friend, she was never my Pokemon. It's my mom who's suffered the loss the most.'
'Johanna?'
'She's miserable, Dylan. And she has been for almost sixteen years. She lost her love! She hasn't gone out, or even looked at another man since. She really was in love with my dad. And now that she's lost Glameow…'
'But she still has you-'
'I think I just cause her more stress. I know why she's lashing out at Widdershin. She's heartbroken, and it's affecting her health. Sometimes, when she thinks I'm sleeping, I see her sitting down looking through old photo albums crying, and I think I just make it worse, because I look like him,' Amez sighed sadly, still leaning against Dylan's chest.
'She really loved him,' Dylan spoke out in realisation.
He could feel Amez nodding her head in response, 'But he's gone now, and he's never coming back.'
Dylan looked down at girl leaning against him, his eyes misting over as he did so, although she didn't see. He looked up at the sky, his hair ruffling in the breeze as Amez continued to sob softly against him.
They duo stayed like that until the sun had almost set, lighting up the darkening sky with orange and purple hues, no words exchanged between them, until Dylan whispered gently, as not to startle her, 'Amez, I have to go somewhere.'
'Huh?' she replied, snapping back into reality.
'I have to go,' he repeated, smiling softly, as he squeezed her arm. She groggily moved off him as he stood up.
'Where are you going?' she asked in confusion as she rubbed her eyes.
'Somewhere important. Don't worry, I'll be back in time for your birthday,' he smiled, and tenderly touched her check with the back of his hand; she gazed up at him, their eyes meeting for a moment before he removed his hand and took off at a run into the trees, leaving Amez alone on the bench just as the sun disappeared.
'It's in three days!' she called after him as she leaned across the backboard of the bench.
Her only reply was the wind rustling harshly and kicking up more leaves, as the darkness began to seep in from the woods Dylan had vanished into. Amez hugged her knees, as she looked down into the water, seeing only the shadowy murkiness that night-time brought about, the only time when the water didn't offer a reflection.
She nearly fell in when she felt a hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. She breathed an obvious sigh of relief, and somewhat slightly disappointed, when she realised it was just Widdershin.
'Hey, are…are you alright? Widdershin asked, a concerned and sad look on his face as his hand was left lingering in midair from where she had jumped away from him.
'Yeah, no I'm fine, sorry Widdershin, you just scared me,' Amez assured him, closing the distance between them as she sat up to give him a hug.
'Amez, you're freezing!' Widdershin exclaimed, as her ice cold skin came in contact with his warm fur as he hugged her back.
Amez blinked in surprise as she looked up at him, 'I am? But I feel fine.'
'No buts, you're coming inside before you catch a cold. I'll cook tonight, so go run yourself a bath or something,' he ushered her into the house in a no-nonsense tone, ignoring her protests that there was nothing wrong with her.
Knowing there was no changing the determined Infernape's mind, she gave up and did as she was told as he gently but firmly pushed her inside, chucking off her shoes and heading upstairs, grinning at his scrutinizing gaze before she disappeared through her bedroom door. While her smile was welcoming, Widdershin didn't miss the disturbed look that came over her features as she stepped through her doorway.
Frowning, he turned around to shut the front door, his own eyes lingering over the black dusk that had settled over the outside. With his enhanced Pokemon vision, he could see clearly, but even he knew that tonight's nightfall was more obscured than usual. His fur stood up on end and he let out an automatic growl when an unmistakeable scent passed his nose: Dylan. While the scent was faint, it was fresh, meaning Dylan had been here recently and had tried to cover it up, which explained why Widdershin hadn't detected it on Amez.
He looked up towards the girl's closed bedroom, the sounding of running water being heard from behind it, and he smiled, knowing she was safe at the present moment, before turning back to the front door again. With one last scan for any potential danger, but finding none, he shut the down and locked it, and entered the kitchen, his mind deep in thought as he absentmindedly began to prepare to cook rice.
What are you up to, Dylan?
