Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I wish I did. Could you buy it for me? Please?
Bonus Chapter : Gilbird's Awesome Journey!
-Some time in late September 1989-
"Here comrade, fresh sunlight!" A tall Russian opened a window and pushed the struggling bird out the window.
'You FUCKER! It's a freaking BLIZZARD!' The bird tweeted angrily at Russia. The Russian smiled and waved at the bird.
'This sucks!' Gilbird chirped, flying to the barred window of his owner's cell. The sight inside sickened him.
Prussia sat on his metal bed, clutching his knees as he stared at the grey wall in front of him. His face was thin and filled with bruises; his lips quirked into a pitiful, twitching smile. He wore a maid's dress that the Russian had forced him into years earlier, which was now tattered and ripped beyond compare.
'That's it! I can't stand to see Gilbert like this! I'm going to get help,' The yellow bird tweeted to himself, before flapping towards the west. He looked back at the soviet house one more time, 'Be strong, Prussia,' before he flew away.
'Where the HELL am I?' Gilbird flapped around the woods in confusion. He had been flying around the same woods for over an hour, and was lost out of his mind. And hungry. Not the annoying nation with the frying pan, Hungary. Hungry-hungry.
'Where am I?' He asked no one, not expecting an answer. He stopped when he heard a rustling from the trees in front of him. Curious (and not scared at all), he perched himself in a tall tree-branch and looked at the scene before him.
England stood alone in a large garden, full of white rosebushes. He looked to be conducting a large orchestra of floating paintbrushes.
'How the heck did I get into England? I was is verdammt GERMANY! Just an HOUR ago!' Gilbert cawed angrily from his perch.
'All laws of logic and physics are screwed when you are involved with a nation!' spoke a cheerful voice. Gilbird squawked in surprise, feathers ruffles in (not) fear. The bird whipped around to see who had scared him and screeched when he saw a bright-green bunny with wings seated on the branch next to his.
'Wha- bu- and- huh?' Gilbird was dumbfounded at the sight before him.
The rabbit tilted its head in confusion, 'What is it? Do I have carrot in my buck-teeth?' Its tongue stuck out as it tried to rid its mouth of any veggies.
'Y-you're a bunny... In a tree... And you're GREEN! Am I high?' Gilbird placed a wing to the top of his fluffy head to stop the bird-headache that was beginning to pound in his head.
The bunny's nose twitched in anger as it struggled to calm it's quick temper. After all, it did live with England.
'Are you... A species-ist?' It growled furiously. The fowl hopped away quickly in fear.
'Nah, man! That's so unawesome!' He chirped nervously. This seemed to please the rabbit, because it switched back to its happy-go-lucky attitude immediately after hearing that. Gilbird felt his eye twitch. Bipolar...
'Oh! You must belong to Prussia! How sweet! But, isn't Prussia in the soviet right now? What are you doing here in England? I'm Flying Mint Bunny, by the way!'
Gilbird stared blankly at it.
'Flying Mint Bunny...?' Said bunny sighed.
'He was mentally two, alright! Besides, I bet your name's not any better!' This shut Gilbird up.
'Narcissistic bastard naming me,' he grumbled to himself. Then he moved back to Flying Mint Bunny, 'I was looking for someone who could help Prussia! He's being tortured by the commie bastard in there!'
Flying Mint Bunny squeaked at the thought, then smiled as an idea came to its mind.
'Follow me! I have an idea!' The two took off, as a question came to Gilbird's mind.
'Hey, are you a boy or a girl?' He asked it. It looked over and nodded.
'Yes!'
'Seriously, how in the FUCK did we get here?' Gilbird and Flying Mint Bunny were crammed in a tiny cage, dangling over a large bonfire. Well, Gilbird was. Flying Mint Bunny was apparently "invisible because of the fairies", whatever the hell that meant.
On the ground stood Nisse, a short elderly man who seemed to have some sort of anger management issues. Really, a cage? That was just insulting.
'Nisse; Man, let us down! We're really busy and we need to get somewhere quickly and-'
'Maybe,' the mysterious man interrupted Gilbird, 'you should have thought about that before eating my porridge and swearing at me!'
Gilbird shrieked at this, 'First of all, we were flying for a LONG time! Like, a day! And we got attacked by polar bears, somehow, even though we're 10,000 miles from that other-America-pancake guy! I had to awesomely rescue us both-'
'Actually, I-'
'Not now, Minty. So, as I was saying, I awesomely demolished all 6 of them with my pure Prussian skill!'
'There were only 2 bears, th-'
'Shut up, Minze!'
'What?'
'Sh! So, then we came in here, battered and bruised, when we saw this awesome bowl of oatmeal-'
'PORRIDGE!'
Gilbird rolled his eyes, 'Fine, porridge, whatever. Anyways, we were so hungry that we couldn't help ourselves from eating some! Then you came and I got one of those "Oh-shit-this is your's" moments, you know?'
Nisse wore a blank expression.
'Guess not. Anyways, that leads us back here, where we need to be let out and head on our way to save Prussia!' The canary-yellow bird finished, gasping for air.
The elderly man stared at them for a minute, then blew out the flames and unlocked the cage door.
Flying Mint Bunny had sparkles in its eyes, 'You were that touched by our tale that you decided to let us out?'
Nisse deadpanned, 'No, you're just annoying.' Flying Mint Bunny's smile seemed to break as it stopped flying and fell to the ground.
'Thanks, Boss!' Gilbird chirped happily.
'Get out of here!' The old man chased the two animals out. When the door closed, he sighed, 'they should have just told me it was about Prussia.'
-2 Weeks Later-
'Finally!' Gilbird cheeped in relief at seeing the familiar house of Gilbert Beilschmidt and his younger brother, Ludwig.
Flying inside through a window, Gilbird could see a sort of meeting going on with Germany, Italy, Japan, France, Spain, America, and England.
"I wonder what they're meeting about," the bird thought to himself. He let out a tweet to announce his arrival.
Francis, Antonio, and Ludwig let out a unanimous "Gilbird!" Said bird cheeped to the sound of his name.
Gilbird, suddenly getting a burst of adrenalin, sped to Ludwig and squawking at him.
'Luddie, we've got a big problem! Huge! Monsterous!' The tall blonde placed his face in his hands before asking where the fowl had been for all this time. Gilbird sighed and began tweeting away.
Throughout the story, Gilbird would flap his wings rapidly while Germany nodded occasionally. The other nations (besides Spain and France) just glanced at each other in confusion.
'And THAT'S what happened,' Gilbird finally finished. By the end of it, Ludwig simply looked shocked.
"So, what's the problem?" Ludwig asked the bird.
Italy glanced over at Japan, "Germany can talk to birds?" He whispered. The Japanese man simply shrugged his shoulders. Westerners sure were weird.
'Did you even LISTEN to me? We have to save Gilbert from the blödmann Ivan!' Gilbird was frantic now.
France had been listening to the conversation for a while, and at that spoke up, saying, "You know Gilbert got back here a week ago, right?"
Gilbird stared at the Frenchman for a span of 5 minutes until he crowed out one word:
'Scheiße!'
A/N: D'aw! It's really the end! No more updates for this story (unless I come back later and mass-edit this whole mother#%^*+). BTW, Gilbird is a part-time sailor. Cause he has a mouth like one! *drum-roll; boos at bad joke*
Okie dokes, so, if ya want to PM me about an idea for another piece (ie: oneshot, multichap, ect...) then message me your ideas! I wants ta know!
Translations:
Verdammt= Damned
Nisse= A myth from Norway; like a Brownie or a Bog; Temperamental, especially when you eat his porridge! He will mess you up!
Minze= Mint
Blödmann= Dumbass
Scheiße= Shit
(Ever noticed almost all my translations are swears? Yeah...)
#INeedACoolCatchphrase
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