This is the ultimate making fun of every character. Except Jacob, hes not in it. I warn you, if you don't like your favorite character being made fun of. Don't read this. I don't want to get complaints about people being offended for whatever reason.
For those of you who don't know what the game spoons is.... google spoons and go to wikipedia. Sorry, I couldnt include the link.
I didnt want to use a bunch of story space to explain, although I added just alittle explanation. But you should probably read wikipedia so you understand what game they're gonna play
"Guys! Guys! I've just read about this super-amazing, totally-awesome game on the internet!" Alice bounded down the stairs with a piece of paper, shaking it enthusiastically.
The entire family was sitting around the living room on a few couches. Rosalie and Emmett were making out, and paid absolutely no attention.
Edward groaned, "Ahhhhh… again? I don't think I can stand another game of twister extreme."
"No, silly. We're not playing that again. Which, by the way, you were very bad at."
"Well, I'm sorry! It's physically impossible for men to do the splits that far and also lean backwards with your right hand on green and your left had all the way at the end of the mat, under Emmett's legs."
Emmett wiggled his eyebrows jokeingly, "I liked that game."
Bella didn't pay attention to Emmett looked at Edward. "Owe." She mouthed at how painful that must have been for Edward.
"See! Bella agrees!"
"Jasper did it!" Alice pulled Jasper by the forearm next to her.
"Well I guess Jasper is officially a girl now!"
"No he's not! I would know!"
"Ewww." Bella said softly.
"Stoppit! Your scaring Bella!"
Edward comforted Bella and asked her 10 times if she was ok. He then freaked out, and said "I'm putting Bella in danger! I'm a terrible person! I have no soul! I'm the worst person in existence!"
And then Bella pouted.
Emmett and Rosalie went upstairs.
Alice declared something new every 50 seconds.
Jasper kept repeating to himself "I'm emo. I'm too emo!"
XXXX
The next day…
"Ok, were going to play that game today!" Alice bounded down the stairs. Everyone was sitting in the exact place as yesterday.
Jasper was muttering about the confederates of his war, and how they were awesome.
"Ok jasper. You lost, ok? We're gonna play spoons, now."
"Spoons? Oh, I like this game already." Emmett declared, looking at Rosalie. "Is this a partners game? It sounds like a partners game."
"That's sick." Edward commented as he read Emmett's mind.
"Eww, Emmett. No." Alice pushed him out of the way and put the deck of cards on the table. She sat down and told all of us to gather around. Carlisle and Esme joined us.
Alice sat down 7 spoons
Alice told us how to play. "Ok, so this game is fast paced, you want to try to get the same number for all of the cards in your hands. The deck moves around very quickly, I'll be dealer. You can only keep four cards in your hands at all times. If you get the same set of all four, so say like four aces, grab a spoon. When one spoon gets taken, then everybody else needs to pick one up, even if you don't have a set of four, understand?"
We all nodded.
Once she had dealed each of us 4 cards, "Ok, start!" She then began a mad dash of slamming the cards down on the table, and everybody played so fast that Bella couldn't exactly tell what they were all doing. Within 2 seconds, all of the spoons had been picked up. Edward had grabbed 2, and gave one to Bella.
"It's only fair." He said, reminding Jasper, who hadn't gotten one.
XXXX
Round two
This time Emmett dealed, and started the deck. They played rapidly, where Bella slowed down the flow greatly.
After a couple moments she just started pushing the cards to Edward without even looking at them.
Then all the sudden, Edward smacked his hand down on the table, followed by all 6 other vampires scrambling to get one.
"Ah!" Jasper yanked his hand out of the center of the table, "That was my finger, Emmett!"
And sure enough, Emmett was holding Jaspers index finger instead of a spoon
"Oops." He looked down at Jasper's finger. "Sorry."
But in the other hand, Emmett was holding another spoon, and Edward had 2, giving one to Bella.
Jasper lost again.
XXXX
Round three
"AHHHH!!!!" Emmett roared after about 30 seconds of play, smashing his fist on the table, creating a hole.
"Outside!" Esme screeched once the dash was done.
Jasper lost again.
XXXX
Round four.
Jasper lunged at the spoons due to the fact that he had a set of 4. Emmett launched immediately into the spoons, scattering all of them onto the flood behind Bella. Alice leaped over the table and snatched one. Followed by Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme.
Rosalie hadn't gotten one, and looked at the one in Jaspers hand. She snatched it out, and beamed triumphantly.
Jasper stared puzzled at his hand, "I could have sworn there was something in my hand…"
"No, Jasper. You just lost." Rosalie nodded sincerely.
"Oh." He said in a small and sad voice.
XXXX
Round five
The brawl was over, and guess who didn't have a spoon?
"My emo loses too much!" Jasper ran out sobbing, biting his arms furiously.
"I'll go cheer him up with his bedtime stories again," Alice sighed.
XXXX
Round six
Emmett smashed another hole in the same table, and Esme had a nervous breakdown.
"Antique table from the 17th century gone, gone, gone…" She sang in a quiet and distant voice. Her face was blank.
"It's ok." Carlisle cooed, "Think 16th century vase this is safe in our study. Deep breathes." Carlisle instructed soothingly.
XXXX
Round Seven
Once the round was done, Emmett put his card deck down. "I'm bored." He decided.
Then looked over at Rosalie, shrugged, and started making out with her.
Emmett and Rosalie headed upstairs.
Edward sighed and put his deck down on the table and looked over at Bella.
"I'm a terrible person." And he walked upstairs to go listen to depressing music, turning the lights off.
Bella was then left alone in the room. Sitting at the table with the lights off, "Does that mean I win?"
Again, this was not meant to insult anybody in any way...
On a lighter note...
Reviews would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all!
