It was an effin hot summer day. The kind of day where you could literally cook an egg on the sidewalk; which Tomo did manage to do, mind you. Children frolicked in the park while the town pedophiles watched them from afar. Many took advantage of said day to peddle various wares, including weapons and drugs; because nobody wants to fence a Glock .45 in the rain! Even as evening rolled around, people were still spending their time outdoors, enjoying the downtown love motels and such. It truly was a perfect day….
That is, if one actually dragged their sad ass outside.
"Yomi! Can't we do something outside!? Or at least do something fun in here!?", Tomo complained, kicking her feet against Yomi's bedroom wall.
"Tomo….", Yomi said, looking up from her work. "Do you remember what happened last time I let you 'have fun' in my house?"
Tomo giggled. "Oh, yeah."
--
"PILLOW FIGHT!!", Tomo called, tossing a down pillow towards Yomi's head.
It never reached Yomi's head though. Instead it struck the turning electric fan overhead, knocking off the whirling blades and sending the girls diving for cover to avoid the shrapnel.
"My god, Tomo!!", Yomi screamed.
"That almost lodged in my sternum!", Tomo chuckled.
--
"Yeah, that.", Yomi assented with a sigh.
"Who gives homework during SUMMER!?", Tomo groaned. "It's our time off for chrissakes!"
"College is just around the corner.", Yomi said.
"Nom it ain't!", Tomo called back, yet she counted the remaining months on her fingers. "Err…it's a long time!"
"Not so much…", Yomi said, returning her attention to a particularly brutal English translation. Usually, they were enjoyable with Yukari's off-beat sense of humour, but this was one word she couldn't get….
"Tomo…what's the English word for a girl that is sexually interested in other girls?", Yomi asked, half-heartedly.
"Umm…Kagura?", Tomo said, bursting into raucous laughter.
"Seriously Tomo..do you know it or not?"
"Of course I know it..it's..umm..Oh! Lesbian!", Tomo smiled triumphantly.
"Thank you.", Yomi sighed happily, slammed the book shut and stood up. "Aren't you happy you waited? Now we can go out."
"Woohoo!!", Tomo cheered. "We can go to the movies, then go somewhere to eat, maybe do a little shopping. Oh! And then we can smoke some crack and-"
"Tomo…we don't smoke crack.", Yomi said.
"Oh, right.", Tomo corrected herself. "Ermm..well, we could go to the park!"
Yomi's face went blank; a dribble of saliva dripped from her lips. That park..that fucking park! Everything started there…that damn bet! And now everyone thought they were hooked up! But…that park certainly was relaxing and it had a nice smell to it…
"Yo, Yomi! You fall brain dead thinking about my soft little-"
"No, Tomo!", Yomi stopped the girl just in time.
" …earlobes.", Tomo finished her sentence.
"I was thinking of that bet we made last year!", Yomi huffed. "Remember it?"
"You bet I do!", Tomo answered, cackling at her atrocious pun.
"Well, I'm going to win it! I'm sick of losing all our bets!", Yomi announced.
"Oh, so high and mighty of you! How ever will you do such a thing?", Tomo chided with a cat-like smirk.
"We're going to that park tomorrow! You and me!", Yomi growled, her eyes blazing like coals dipped in the deepest sulfur pits of Hades.
"Fine by me!", Tomo cackled. "Just don't try and get in my pants, cuz I know you do!"
"Oh, shut the hell up!"
"Mnya!", Tomo stuck out her tongue and hopped out the window, disappearing into the night.
'What a nut…', Yomi thought as she lay down in her bed. 'It's almost as if she WANTS me to touch her butt…'
--
The following day, Yomi was up bright and early, hiking towards the park. She took the special route through the Fields of Despair and down across the Valley of the Damned; a good fifteen minute trek. Tomo met here there later on, only to find her pacing a bare trail through the grass as if this was some sort of cartoon! The forest nymphs were not pleased.
Tomo wanted to speak up to the girl, but her insistent pacing and the rabid chattering of the unhappy forest nymphs made her rethink that.
Yomi stopped pacing. "Tomo…are you ready?"
"…TO RUMMBBLLLLLEEE!!", Tomo giggled at her enormously terrible pun.
"No, Tomo! Are you ready…to change?"
"Bahah!! You still want to win that bet!? How the heck do you plan on changing me? I've been this way for years! I came hopping out of the womb, cursing and acting inappropriately!", Tomo cackled, rolling on the ground.
"Alas! You have shown me your weakness!", Yomi announced, standing above Tomo like some bronzed goddess.
"What? My adoration for stealing your undies?", Tomo pointed out.
"It was you!? Grr..anyhow..no…this park, Tomo! You're hot for this park!"
"Hot for it? Nah, it's nice. Not sexy…", Tomo said.
"It calms you! You said so yourself! SO…", Yomi said, sitting cross-legged in front of Tomo. "We're going to spend an entire day here!"
"Do we HAVE to!?", Tomo whined, fidgeting.
"You're the one who took me here in the first place! You should love it!"
"I can only take elves and dragons for so long before it gets tedious!", Tomo said.
"Too bad! We're sitting here!"
And thus they did. The only sounds came from around them; the chittering of the forest sprites to the echoing calls of the Orc in the land of Mordor in the distance. And if one listened closely there could be heard the undulating mating call of the Cave Sasquatch.
"Yomi….we can't do this ALL day! I mean…what if the Death Eaters come out?", Tomo said.
"Tomo..shut up. We're going to make you less hyper. I WILL win this bet!"
"Someone needs a chill pill!"
Alas, they sat silently once more, Tomo fidgeting with the branches of the Tree of Knowledge and Yomi peering at her over her glasses. Tomo turned away just in time to avoid a confrontation with a serpent on the tree when an idea struck her. To get out of this predicament, she would do what she does best; pester the holy living crap out of Yomi!
So, she grit her teeth until lunchtime where they ate raw pig heads and the chrysalis of the Eastern Monarch butterfly.
"So, pig heads again?", Tomo asked.
"Yes. I slaughtered it myself.", Yomi huffed, serving Tomo a helping of eyeball.
"Gah! I should have known! You know I like the left eyeball and not the right!", Tomo huffed, tossing her eyeball into a cup.
Yomi gave her a vicious sidelong glance that only egged Tomo on more.
"These aren't even real chrysalis!", Tomo complained.
"Tomo….your Jedi mind-tricks won't work on me.", Yomi said.
"There is no spoon.", Tomo chuckled.
Yomi regarded the girl as she watched her munch upon the snout of the hog. It was brutal yet…lovely. She could never really stay angry at Tomo; even after the one time she tried to reenact the Gunpowder Plot in her basement. Tomo, seeing that Yomi seemed to be mentally undressing her, tossed the bloody pig skull at Yomi and dashed off.
Yomi just snapped. Maybe it was the fact that she was now drenched in pig's blood, but you could certainly hear something inside her brain tear; possibly her brain stem or medulla. Even so, she ran after Tomo, but midway…she stopped. Something in the back of her head told her that what she was doing may not be for the best.
For, you see, if Tomo were calmed to the point where she was nothing but a slightly stupid version of Yomi…what fun would that be? No more late-night rendezvous….no more overwhelming attempts at scaling Tokyo Tower…no more calling fast food places and saying your food was cold to get it for free…Her life would be devoid of fun! Oh piss…
'I have to find her and apologize…'
"Tomo! Stop making the elves turn you invisible and come out here! I need to have a talk with you!", Yomi called.
"'Bout fuckin' time!!", Tomo screamed, emerging from the woods and tearing off the tendrils of the Murumba tree that had attached themselves to her body. "I thought it was gonna suck out my brains before you found me!"
"…What the heck is in those woods?", Yomi asked, aghast at the sight.
"Oh you know, elves…beasts of burden…the norm.", Tomo shrugged.
"Tomo…I've been thinking..", Yomi began shyly. "Some little thing in the back of my head told me that I…really wouldn't like you to change…"
"Wait…YOU are admitting defeat!?", the smile on Tomo's face was enormous and bothersome. Yomi wanted to break it.
"Look, I don't care if I win or lose. Just don't make the stakes like last time….I mean, I can't AFFORD a space shuttle."
"Bahahah!! I win! I win!", Tomo danced a fancy jig. "Third year I am totally making you do something INCREDIBLY stupid!""….How stupid?"
"Let's just say it involves a gorilla, an open window and fifteen kilos of flan!", Tomo giggled, falling over into Yomi's arms.
Yomi gazed down at the lightly blushing girl, her own emotions rising to her face to turn it scarlet. Tomo glanced up at her, her eyes half-hooded in a rather erotic expression. A grin cracked her face.
"Yomi…."
"Yes, Tomo?", she replied breathily.
"You remember how you said a little something in the back of your head told you to talk to me?", Tomo asked, her eyes sparkling in the high sun.
"Yes, of course.", Yomi responded, her lips opening expectantly.
"Well…there is a fairy clinging to the back of your head."
"WHAT THE FUCK!?", Yomi dropped Tomo heavily on the ground as she swatted at the chattering, tiny glowing creature.
Tomo was on the ground now, not in pain, but in a horrid fit of laughter that awakened even the hibernating Ents. Yomi just sighed, yet she was happily enamoured by the audacity of the sugar-fueled girl. Life certainly wouldn't be complete without her.
"Hehehe….Whoo!", Tomo stood up and wiped her eyes from the laughing fit. "Ok! Let's go get krunk!"
"No, Tomo…"
"Oh, come on!! Fine…let's go shoot a few hookers!"
"No, Tomo…"
"Pfft! How about we join up with the Riders of Gondor!?"
"No, Tomo…"
Thusly, that is how the rest of the day went. No women of the evening were killed and the Riders of Gondor did successfully raid an Orc camp. All was at peace once more in Toyomi Land.
