"Do you think we're on the right track?" Scootaloo asked her friends as they watched Derpy bang out a mini-symphony.

"It's always tracks with you," laughed Apple Bloom.

"I'm serious! Are we really on the path to our cutie marks or are we just gonna mess up again? I'm so tired of being a blank flank. I feel like this is more of Pinkie Pie's thing than ours."

"We need Pinkie Pie," said Sweetie Belle. "If we're all acting, we need a director, after all."

"I guess," muttered Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom put a comforting hoof on her friend's shoulder. "I'm sure we're doing fine."

(To the tune of "Ragtime" from Ragtime)

Apple Bloom: We're getting started

And we've got quite a ways

A ways to go

Sweetie Belle: La la la la la

It's in the makings

Of a real Broadway show

Real Broadway show

Apple Bloom: La la la la la

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: We must keep looking forward

Cause we usually look back

We'll break that habit up

We're gonna live it up

All Three: We are on the right track

And we'll keep working hard

On all of the sets

We can't forget

La la la la la

The score is coming along

Pretty darn well

We can all tell

La la la la la

And if we keep it up

And always have each other's backs

It'll be great and it

Will the best of all

There's no debate that it

Will be a big success

We know we can do it

So pick up the slack

We know we're on the right track

Right track

Right track

Right track!

Meanwhile, Spike was getting on stage and was happy to see that Rarity had come over to see what all the commotion was about.

"This is my chance!" Spike thought to himself. "I can really impress Rarity with how deep and soulful the character of Javert is! He's even more complex than Jean Valjean!"

"Are you ready, Spike?" asked Pinkie Pie from the wings. "I just wrote this song! It totally defines your character!"

"I can't wait!" cried Spike with delight. After all, Rarity was watching! Here was his chance.

Munching on yet another muffin, Derpy began to play a marching-type piece of music as Spike sang the lyrics on his sheet music.

(To the tune of "The Plunderer's March" from Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol)

Spike: I'm a stinky butt

I stuff my gut

With who knows what

I'm oh so mean

You've not seen

Meaner men

I am even meaner than

Dischord

I am the biggest lout

My mind's all clout

With nasty doubts

I don't like dogs

Cats or frogs

Or bunnies

I'd like to kick all your knees

Real hard

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

It goes without saying that

I'm mean

I'm not the nicest guy

I like to make

Young fillies cry

Then just for fun

I might run

Up your bill

Because I like to fill

My whims

I'm such a nasty nerd

A ghastly turd

An angry bird

I like to make people sad

Cause I can

I was very mean to Dan

And Tim

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

It goes without saying that

I stink!

It was hard to think of a time where he had been more embarrassed. Spike ran off the stage and couldn't bear to look at Rarity.

"Gee," said Pinkie Pie, "the lyrics really got to the poor guy. I'm good."


Wow, TWO songs! I actually haven't seen Ragtime and it sounds like a really depressing show, but I adore the opening number. It's insanely catchy!

I tried hard to get into the mind of Pinkie Pie and think of how she would write a villain song. That's basically what you got here.