7. The First Laughter

Kissing was just the best thing that could happen to us. We didn't needed to talk about it and our first kiss after all this time felt just real and right. And there are so many ways of kissing. There are those small pecks, only slight brushes of our lips, whenever one of us enters the room, when Peeta had one of his flashbacks or after my nightmares. Then there are those kisses I get from Peeta whenever we go to sleep and when I wake up. Those are slightly deeper and last a little bit longer. And at last there are the kisses that bring some fire inside of me alive. They consist of moving our lips together and pushing our bodies impossible close together. I always get them after a long day, when I was hunting and Peeta in his bakery.

But we never kiss, when somebody is around, no matter if it's some of customers or just Haymitch. It makes me uncomfortable just by thinking about it. And I think that Peeta is feeling the same. I suppose that's one of the reasons why he couldn't look at anybody, when he or she ran into us.

And sometimes I see Peeta thinking. Of course it's normal to think but with the look he has always on his face, so thoughtful and slightly lost, I always get a strange feeling. I am often afraid that something about kissing or our relationship in whole makes him uncomfortable. I hope he doesn't want to change anything, because I think it is just as good as it is. Those are the moments when I quietly whisper his name to get his attention. And when he turns his head slightly in my direction I reach up and kiss him. I let my action speak as if I would say it with words: 'Don't doubt us.' And I always think that everything is alright, when he kisses back. These are the moments when I get warm and tingling feelings in my stomach. Then I want more, although I don't know, what this 'more' is.

But it's not only the fire inside me that gets hungrier and warmer each day, but also the weather. As fast as winter came, as fast comes spring, my favorite season.

Soon all the snow is molten. Grass gets greener each day and flowers bloom slowly. Peeta and mine garden comes to life. Some days ago I saw the first dandelion in the forest, reminding me of Peeta and I smiled.

That was the day, when I made a decision.

It helped, when Peeta said, that his co-workers are doing fine and they can soon handle their jobs alone, without Peeta assisting them. That meant, that he will have some free days again, where he could do, whatever he liked. And when I heard that, I knew that I was ready for the next step: to share something with me, just like he had done with me on his bakery re-opening.

I open my eyes slightly, when the sunlight tickles my face. Today is Peeta's first free day he had since our first kiss.

I smile, when I feel his arms around my waist and his body pressed against mine. There is now disturbing sound, that woke us at around 4 o'clock. There is no darkness outside. There is just Peeta and me.

I turn around to greet him and I see that he is still asleep. I smile. Then I reach up with one hand slowly, stroking with one finger over the bridge of his nose slightly. "Peeta." I say as softly as I can, but waking somebody up, without screaming or trashing around, is a completely new experience.

He stirs slowly and his eyes begin to twitch. "Peeta." I whisper again, leaning towards him and give him a light kiss on his lips. After some time, he opens his eyes, looking at me questioning and tired. "Katniss?" he asks with a sleepy voice and brushes a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear. "I thought we would sleep in." "We slept in. It's already past 8." He groans, he closes his eyes again and then he yawns.

"Can't we stay in bed all day?" He asks, stroking my cheek. "We deserve it. C'mon Katniss." "But I want to go hunting." I plead and try to give him a slight hint of what I have in mind, by emphasizing. I think I see him shuddering slightly and I know that he didn't miss it. Yet, he doesn't open his eyes and so I lean my head down again and try to kiss him awake, again. I want to see his eyes, when I tell him, what I am thinking about.

When I pull back I find his blue eyes finally open again, looking at me. "I want to go hunting with you, Peeta. Come with me into the forest."

I finally have the effect, I wanted. His eyes open at first in surprise but then they twinkle slightly, just like a lake in sunlight and his lips form a soft smile. "I will."

It still takes us some time to get up. I don't know, what it is, but Peeta can't let go of me for even a few minutes and so we end up kissing again. But I don't mind, since I think my words and my decision made him really happy.

It's a particular warm spring day and it is around 10 o'clock when we are finally in the woods. People are already busy, since they work again on all the unfinished houses, they left the year before. District Twelve will soon be finished, I know it.

Peeta looks around in awe, when only trees and bushes do surround us. When his expression gets sadder, I know he is thinking about the first games, since everything looks exactly like in the first arena. Or better to say, the first arena looked exactly like my woods.

"It's amazing." He breaths. "Did you ever think about it? Going inside the woods?" I ask, looking at him, while I let go of his hand, for the first time since we left our home. He shakes his head. "No. There were so many things to do in my father's bakery and we all had to help. There wasn't much time, between school and bakery, to go out and take a walk in the forest. And I always thought, it was just too dangerous. Well, at least that was, what we were told." He sighs. "Your father told showed you everything, you had to know about the woods."

I nod, while we go deeper into the forest, my bow with one ready arrow raised. But I know, that with Peeta by my side, I won't find any game. His steps are still loud, but not as loud and uncontrolled than the last time. But I don't want it any other way. I knew what I've gotten myself into, when I asked him to come with me.

"I want to show you something." I tell him and smile, lowering my bow slightly. "What is it?" He asks, sounding excited, like a little boy wanting candy. "Just wait and see."

As we walk through the woods, I tell him, which plants and berries are editable and so we pick a few and lay them into my games back. I am also able to shoot an squirrel that dares to cross our way. It way a perfect shoot – right through the eye.

"Wow. I never thought that a place like this would exist in Twelve." Peeta exclaims, when he sees the lake for the first time. "That's where you learned swimming?" I nod, slightly embarrassed that he still knows about my good swimming skills.

I turn around and look at him. "I can teach you to be a good swimmer, too, if you want." He nods and takes a few steps forward, to stand directly next to me. "But not today." I continue, "The water is still too cold. I don't want anybody of us to have the flu." "But you can handle that just fine. I experienced it myself." I am glad that he remembers that, without any flashback. So I take his hand.

"Let's sit down for a while at the shore."

We do and start to talk about random things. But mostly they are not so random.

Talking about our families and the past seems so much easier than it was before. Talking about the war is so much easier. Even talking about Prim isn't that hard anymore.

"What are you thinking about all the time?" I ask suddenly and it seems like it is coming out of nowhere. But it's bothering me for some time now and it feels just right, to finally ask. He looks at me and his brows furrow at my question. "Right now I was thinking about our dinner. I am still not sure, what we should cook and-" "No. You are sometimes deeply in your thoughts. You look like something is wrong and you want to change it, but you don't know how."

He looks out to the water and I know, he knows exactly what I am talking about. "It's nothing bad, is it?" He shrugs slightly with his shoulders and I gulp, before he turns back to me.

I know it was a bad idea, to ask him. I don't want him to be mad at me and I hope that my curiosity isn't annoying him.

"Katniss…", he starts slowly, taking my hand and I can clearly feel, that I have gotten pale. "I don't want you to worry, do you hear me? It's nothing bad, really. It's just that I can't make up my thoughts." "Then we should talk about it. You know that we can talk about everything." He nods, pressing my fingers slightly in assurance. "Yes, I know that. Don't worry." "And?" I ask and hope that he will finally speak up.

He looks back to the water, closing his eyes slightly. "No, not right now Katniss. I have to be sure about things, first." I sigh. "Peeta-"

Before I know, what's happening, I see the water of the lake break, splashing us, just slightly. A fish, beautiful with its grey fins and shed dress jumped slightly in the air, possibly catching some insect that flew right over the surface. I can't feel Peeta's hand on mine anymore, even before the fish hits the water again and dives back to where it came from.

I look to Peeta, only to see him standing, his eyes wide in shock and breathing heavenly. It's a strange sigh and I feel myself smiling just slightly.

"Peeta?" I ask softly and I am shocked, when I hear amusement in it slightly and he finally looks at me, lowering him down next to me. He licks his lips slightly, before Peeta speaks up again. "That fish nearly scared me to death." I exclaim, looking at me serious and I know that he can't understand why I am smiling. And so do I.

"You were frightened because of a fish? Peeta!" "That isn't funny, Katniss." But somehow it is. I laugh. Just slightly, but I do and I try to hide it behind my hand. I know, it's a silly reason to laugh, but I can't suddenly help myself anymore.

His eyebrows rise, but when Peeta notices, what exactly is going on, he begins to laugh, too. "Katniss!" He suddenly says and I know that every possible game is now miles away. But I don't mind. "You are laughing."

I stifled my laughter, until Peeta began to laugh and now, we are both laughing, mostly about the other. But, no, I don't mind. I can't even remember the last time that I have laughed like this, or even laughed at all.

It's maybe because, just for one tiny moment, I let the past behind and everything bad that happened in it. This is one of the moments, worth remembering.

Before we even have stopped our laughter, Peeta leans towards me, kissing me. He breaks away after just seconds. "I like your laughter, Katniss."

I take deep breaths to calm myself, before I nod. "I like yours, too." He chuckles lightly and I wish that we could freeze that moment. Or that another fish would startle Peeta again to let me laugh about him, again.

He looks out towards the lake again and he sighs and I know, he made some decision. But he doesn't say it immediately. Instead, he leans in again, kissing me again. I close my eyes slightly and savor it.

This kiss is different. I can feel it clearly. It is loving and caring, yes. But there is more longing behind it, more passion. I nearly jump away from him, when I feel his tongue brushing my bottom lip slightly, giving me an amount of new feelings and a new desire to fulfill.

I let one of my hands wander over his back, while the other one strokes the back of his neck. Peeta sighs at this happily, both of his hands on my waist, also something new, since they always were on my back or in my hair and I feel his tongue again. That's the moment, when I allow myself to do the same, just testing and tasting.

When our tongues touch, I feel like something is exploding inside of me. It's overwhelming.

Eventually we have to stop, because of the lack of air.

I look at him, wondering where this came from and I suddenly feel how fast my heart is pounding in my chest. He reaches up, to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, just like he did this morning.

"Katniss." He suddenly whispers, never leaving my eyes. "I want to sleep with you."

Suddenly all the laughter is forgotten.
_
Yes, I know I am evil…