He went to war as a teen and now he is a man. He has seen far too much death and destruction in a galaxy sharply divided and bitterly entrenched on both sides. It has both hardened him and weakened him. And now and then, he does things he knows he shouldn't do. Like killing an unarmed prisoner. Like taking pity on a girl in a cell.
Separatist or Republican, First Order or Resistance, it doesn't seem to matter. All the high-minded speeches from the Senate floor and the fascist rants screamed out over the holonet are lies. And that's why they all need to die. He will end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy. The last remnants of the two Republics will be swept away and he will reign.
It begins when he goes to the temple and hacks through young and old. These are his friends and they trust him and call him by name. Master Skywalker, there's too many of them. Ben, what are you doing? Stop! But he does not hesitate and he shows no mercy. Two generations later, in this as in all things, he will finish what his grandfather started.
Dark deeds increase his Dark power. And it's the power he will need to overthrow his Master. Then he can make things the way he wants them to be. Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy and we will have peace. He tells himself this as he stands yellow eyed and cloaked in Darkness. A tall silhouette alone on a balcony overlooking a Hellish world. No one is there to see the tear that trickles down one cheek. Even now, some part of him will rage against the dying of his Light.
"What did you see?"
Rey looks up from her seat on the couch to see Ben standing, watching her. He must be done with his work now. He's been holed up in his office all day today working on a crisis. Rey smiles weakly at him, her thoughts still so thoroughly distracted by the vision. These visions are always so unsettling. So perplexing. She's lost in the meaning of it all.
"You saw him again, didn't you?" Ben says this quietly and with reverence. Rey knows now that he envies her for these visions. Ben is so fascinated by the elusive grandfather he never knew and so admires.
"Yes," Rey looks down, wondering how to tell him what she saw. She decides just to come out with it. "Ben, Darth Vader killed children. Small children." Sweet little innocent children barely old enough for school, let alone old enough to hold a lightsaber. They had been lambs to the slaughter, but thankfully it had been quick. Rey has the disturbing images burned forever into her mind.
Ben seems unsurprised by what she tells him. He just nods. "The Clone Wars were a brutal time, Rey."
"Just like today," she says softly, thinking of her capture by the First Order. Rey wonders whether anyone else on Jakku had been hurt or captured that night. She's looked on the holonet and found nothing. But that might just be because nothing that happens on Jakku is newsworthy to the galaxy at large.
"There were heroes and villains on both sides of the Clone Wars, Rey. Both the Separatists and the Republic did ugly things." Ben looks very serious now as he holds her gaze. "What they say is true. War is Hell. But sometimes it is necessary."
Rey nods at this wisdom. War is a terrible thing, she thinks, and the moral high ground tends to get lost in all the rhetoric. And sometimes it ends like the Clones Wars had ended—with everyone losing. "What side was he on, Ben? Was Darth Vader a Separatist or did he fight for the Republic?"
Ben crosses to seat himself on the couch she's perched on barefoot and cross-legged. "My grandfather Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi during the Clone Wars. He fought for the Republic. Then when the Jedi tried to take over the Republic, he became a Sith. Ultimately, the Republic became the Empire and he fought for the Emperor."
Rey digests this for a moment. "So Darth Vader fought his whole life. First the Separatists and then the Rebellion?"
"Yes. Jedi or Sith, Darth Vader was a warrior, Rey."
Ben says this with admiration. And now Rey wonders why Ben isn't fighting in this current war if he admires his Sith grandfather so much. Because it sounds like Darth Vader would definitely be fighting if he were still around. So she asks, "Do the Sith always fight wars?"
Ben shakes his head no. "The Sith always seek to gain power, Rey, but they have taken different paths. There have been Sith warriors like Darth Vader. Sith politicians like Darth Sidious. Sith businessmen like Darth Plagueis. Sith scientists and engineers like Darth Tenebrous. One way or another—whether with the sword, with the law, with money or with technology—the Sith have made their power and influence felt."
"I'm glad that you a business Sith," she decides. "I'm glad that you're not fighting in this war, Ben."
"Why is that?" he smiles, looking curious.
Isn't it obvious? "Well, I wouldn't want you to get hurt, for one. And besides, I don't like violence."
He looks her in the eye and again he looks very serious. "I can be violent, Rey. You should know that. All Sith can be violent."
She knows, she gets it. "I can be violent too if you push me." Rey knows how to defend herself and she's willing to do it. "I lived on Jakku, remember? It's eye for an eye on Jakku. Disputes tended to get settled with violence, Ben."
Yet again, Ben is looking at her with a strange intensity that is slightly unnerving. "Rey, my violence always has a purpose. I like order. Rampant destruction and death is the antithesis of order. But sometimes it is necessary." And now he is scaring her a little and she raises her eyebrows in alarm. Ben must see this because he hastens to add, "I might hurt others but I will never hurt you, Rey."
And those words do not reassure her. They are creepy and, if anything, they increase her alarm. She cocks her head and complains, "Ben, those are fine words but how do I know if you are telling me the truth?"
"Feel it in the Force, Rey," Ben suggests. "The Force always reveals an outright lie."
Really? "How?" she challenges.
"Concentrate on me, Rey." Then he repeats, "I will never hurt you, Rey."
And she does feel the weight of his words, of the sincere intent behind them. Yes, it feels like he is telling her the truth. Or at least, what he believes to be the truth. And this newfound knowledge makes Rey curious. "Now tell me a lie," she instructs. "I want to feel what a lie feels like in the Force."
He sits back, crosses his arms, and tells her, "I was born on Yavin IV."
And this time, Rey feels the evasion. She doesn't sense a lie so much as she senses the lack of truth. She concentrates a moment and then nods her agreement. "Yes, that's a lie. You were born on Coruscant."
He smiles in surprise. "Yes. Yes, I was. How did you know?"
How did she know? Rey isn't sure. "It just came to me."
"No, it didn't," Ben grins. "You just skimmed that from my mind." He considers a moment. "You did it unconsciously, Rey. You weren't even trying."
"What?"
"Let's try this. I've been wanting to try this." Now Ben looks excited. "Concentrate on me, Rey. And then jump into my mind."
"What?" Huh?
"My defenses are down, Rey. Come into me."
"Uh . . . "
He nods reassurance at her. "Just try it."
And she does. It doesn't work.
Ben doesn't give up. He beckons her over. "Touch me. Sometimes that helps. A physical connection tends to promote a mental connection."
"Okay." She slides over next to him on the couch and takes his hand. Once again, she concentrates. "It's helping some." She feels more of a connection so she reaches for his other hand. Ben's hands are large, warm and surprisingly soft. And that makes sense. He's a businessman. He's not a mechanic or a tech who works with his hands or a soldier or laborer who gets his hands dirty. Ben works with a datapad on com calls all day probably behind a desk. Making money instead of making things.
"Good. Concentrate. I won't resist you. You won't need to force it. Find your focus and then drift into my mind."
Rey closes her eyes now and attempts to block out her physical world. She still struggles to find the Force some days. But today is not one of them. "Oh!" she whispers as she feels her consciousness blur with his. Did she do it? Is she in his mind? Yes, she's in his mind. This feels so strange. Rey feels an odd sense of wonderment and peace. Is Ben helping her? It feels like he is helping her, pulling her towards memories he wants her to see. And, oh, this is fascinating.
Rey sees an introverted boy who is a reluctant student of the Force. He wants to study the Clone Wars and become a professor, but that's not an option. You have a responsibility to the galaxy and to your family, young Ben Solo is told incessantly. But all he hears is that what he himself wants doesn't matter.
It only adds to his frustration that he is the worst Jedi student of all. Rey hears a bearded man in brown robes argue repeatedly with a woman against training Ben. He has too much of our father in him, the man contends time and again when they think Ben is not listening. Face it-he is dangerous, the man warns. And young Ben is perplexed when he overhears. Because his grandfather is Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi hero of the Clone Wars. Right?
Wrong. Ben Solo's grandfather is Anakin Skywalker, known to the galaxy as Lord Darth Vader, the feared Sith enforcer of his Emperor Master. Rey feels firsthand now how betrayed young Ben feels when his family's lies are first exposed. It rocks the already disgruntled world of fifteen-year-old Ben Solo. For it turns out to be the Jedi who lie to him, and not the Sith. Poor boy, Rey thinks. He is so lost. So confused about the Force, about his family, about everything.
"I love this." Ben suddenly speaks and his voice rattles Rey's concentration. "I love the feel of you in my mind. Let me show you more."
Rey panting now from the effort. "I c-can't hold the connection. This is t-too h-hard—"
Ben understands immediately. He lifts her hand to his temple. "Touch my head. I usually have to have my hand near someone's head."
Yes, that helps. It helps a lot. "Oh, that's better," Rey breathes out. She lifts her other hand and now she and Ben are awkwardly seated side by side on the couch with his head bent towards her. That can't be comfortable so Rey shifts and now she's up on her knees, cradling his face in her hands.
"Look into me," Ben groans softly. "See me." And she does.
Rey sees his Sith Master, a tall shadowy grey figure in a black cloak and hood. One lesson from the mysterious Muun recluse gives teenaged Ben a taste of his Dark potential and the boy is hooked. More, he wants more. More of the easy power that feels so good. More of the secret truth of his family's past. So Ben seeks out Darth Plagueis and begs. Teach me, be my Master. I cannot learn from my uncle and I do not trust him. The old Sith Master turns Ben down flat. But then relents to dangle hope before him. Impress me, boy, and perhaps I shall reconsider. So Ben is bold and returns bloodied, pale and shell-shocked one day. He doesn't show Rey what has happened. But it is momentous. For teenaged Ben is rewarded with the title Apprentice and the course of history changes that day.
"I want you to know me, Rey," Ben whispers. "Very few people know me."
Rey keeps moving into his mind, following his lead. Deepening their mental connection as their physical distance recedes. She's straddling Ben's lap as their foreheads meet and her hands rest on his cheeks. Normally, Rey would be shy and uncomfortable at this physical closeness. She has lived alone for years and so she is not a physically demonstrative person. She's usually quite standoffish. But Rey is barely conscious of Ben's body for she is lost in the newfound rapture of his mind. And no matter what their bodies might do, she thinks there can be no greater intimacy than this mental connection they share now.
She sees Ben's younger self crisscrossing the galaxy on a quest to discover the past. On an emerald moon, he digs and digs until he uncovers what little remains of his grandfather's armor. He is disappointed that he can't find a sword. He has dreamed of wielding his grandfather's sword. There were two of them, but his uncle had lost the first. Then, Ben comes for the first time to the castle with Vanee at his side. The old caretaker lets the young man wander for hours room by room. Everything is as it had been left over twenty years before. Respectfully maintained down to Lord Vader's few personal effects. A second suit of armor, clothes and even a spare cape. When one day you come to this castle as a full Dark lord, you should don your grandfather's cape, Vanee suggests. And the impressionable Ben takes that suggestion to heart. He will earn the mantle of his forbearer's aegis when he earns the title Darth. But there are many days when that goal seems out of reach for the young Apprentice.
And now Rey sees his self-doubt. Ben doesn't doubt what he wants, but there are times when he doubts that he can achieve it. And that gnaws at him because he has to succeed or all the collateral damage he has caused will be wasted. He will have contributed to the disorder and not been the solution to the disorder. "Oh, Ben, you're afraid," Rey says softly. "You're afraid that you will never be as powerful as Darth Vader."
"Yes," he says simply.
Now Rey sees Ben carry her unconscious into the castle. She wears only the hospital gown and bandages, so Ben has wrapped her in some black blanket to shield her from the chill of space during the shuttle ride. Vanee awaits him on the landing pad and looks on with interest as Ben gently lays her upon a bed. The old caretaker asks who she is. Her name is Rey, Ben tells Vanee. She too has suffered for Luke Skywalker. Is she Jedi, the old man asks. No. But she is the Light. Then, Ben stands watching over Rey until she wakes. He doesn't want her to be alone when she wakes. Somehow, Ben already knows that Rey is very much alone.
Ben is lonely in his own way, Rey sees. He's long been looking for a connection with a peer. All those who might have been his equal are dead now, but Rey doesn't understand why. And so when she shows up, Ben is hopeful. Very hopeful.
She's fading now. The mental concentration this connection requires has exhausted her. Rey's stamina in the Force is still so limited.
"I can't—" she stammers out. "N-No more—"
But Ben clamps down his hands over hers, holding them in place. "Wait!" he cries. "Stay with me. Let me show you how I see you in the Force."
And now she sees faint glimpses that look like herself bloodied and beaten in her desert rags. A black gloved hand reaches out towards her face but stops just short of touching her. And then all that quickly dissolves and Rey sees light illuminating a darkened room. The sudden change is blinding for a moment. It's a shock to the system that makes you blink as your eyes adjust. But they do, and where in Darkness there were shadows everywhere now there are colors. It is like a veil is lifted, like the truth is uncovered, like happiness is discovered. This is what it means when people say they have seen the Light. The shimmering, beckoning, comforting Light. And when Ben looks at her, this is what his mind sees. This interrogation is over, someone says in a deep, metallic voice.
And that's when the connection breaks. Rey can do no more. As her mind retreats from his, she physically pulls back to sit on her heels. Rey is panting and depleted, but amazed. She grins at Ben and says the first thing that jumps into her mind. It's wholly inadequate to express all that they have shared. "I like that I look shiny to you," she giggles.
"Rey," he breathes out her name as he returns the smile. "I'm so glad I found you."
"Me too," she agrees pragmatically. "Otherwise, I'd be dead."
"Rey, listen to me." His hands come up to rest on her waist. "I will need Light in my life, if I am to do what must be done. I am a Dark Sith and I will grow Darker still."
She doesn't understand what he is telling her, but it sounds like an admission and a warning. "Are you saying that you need me?" she asks.
"Yes."
"Then tell me how to help you, Master."
"Just you being here helps. Be my Light, Rey. Don't leave me in a few weeks. Stay."
She doesn't want to leave him. They have never discussed this, but Rey is happy to stay. And some long buried part of her thrills at the idea that she is wanted. For this throwaway orphan from Jakku has never been wanted before. Rey will do anything for this engaging man who has saved her from the First Order and whisked her away to safety and comfort. He treats her like a princess and teaches her the forbidden Force. And he and Vanee are her only friends. So, of course, Rey will stay. And so what if Ben can be dramatic and vague now and then. That's okay. She's starting to understand how lonely and unhappy Ben's past is. Rey can relate.
Impulsively, she throws her arms around Ben's neck in a hug. Rey can count on one hand the number of hugs she has received in her life, so she can recognize a person who needs comforting. His hands stroke her back now and Rey sighs aloud. After being in Ben's mind, it feels very natural to be in his arms.
"You're leaving soon, aren't you?" she says without lifting her head. He had probably come in originally to say goodbye, Rey realizes. But then they had gotten sidetracked on this whole mindreading business.
"Yes," he concedes. "I'm late, in fact. There is a problem that needs my attention."
"Are you going to fire someone?"
"Yes, someone will definitely be terminated. But I will be back soon, Rey."
"Good." She smiles into his chest. "I want to try this again."
He jumps at the suggestion. "You can get in my head any time you want, Rey."
"No, next time I want you to get in my head. I want to show you my life."
"It's a deal." Ben needs to leave so she pulls back and makes to stand but he holds her in place. "Kiss me goodbye, Rey?"
She doesn't get a chance to answer before Ben's lips find hers. It is a gentle kiss. Beguiling and easy. And now her arms are wrapped around his neck once again. Rey gasps as his hands grip her ass and suddenly his tongue is in her mouth and he deepens the kiss. And now this is a real kiss. Not a perfunctory peck on the lips or cheek, but a grownup, open mouthed kiss of passion. Is that her moaning or him? She doesn't know, she doesn't care. Maybe she ought to be afraid but she isn't. She feels very safe in Ben's arms. In a short time, she is starting to trust this man. And that trust feels good.
She is thoroughly kissed and now Ben is very late when together they walk out to the landing platform. Rey watches as Ben disappears up the ramp with his armful of work datapads in hand. The shuttle seems to have more carbon scoring on its underside each time she sees it, Rey notes. It looks more and more like a warship to her eyes and less like a businessman's fancy ride. But if the newsfeeds she watches are any indication, the war between the New Republic and the First Order has heated up to a fever pitch lately and all sorts of civilians and noncombatants keep getting caught in the middle. It must be very dangerous out there, Rey thinks. And she is glad to be safely tucked away here on Mustafar.
"Take care, Master," she says aloud as she watches the shuttle lift off. Rey waves until she can no longer see it in the air.
