Hope everyone is still enjoying the read. Leibeezer, again, thanks for your reviews...they help me to keep going...
When I get there Edward has already packed a cooler box with wine, glasses and a few packets of biscuits and chips. Emmett and Jasper pull sad faces jokingly because they aren't invited.
The drive is fast and I'm glad to see Edward knows how to handle the sand road. Over the years many people have tried to drive it, getting stuck and have to walk back for assistance. We stop on the top of the sand dune and he takes out the cooler box, looking down on a piece of heaven the locals call Swemgat.
"This is amazing."
"That it is. I used to love coming here as a kid. We used to come on a Saturday, my family and my parents' friends and their children. Hang out all day, swim, braai."
We walk down the sand dune hand in hand towards the rock formation that harbors a natural rock pool the size of an average big swimming pool. With high tide the water comes over and fills it with clean water.
"You know. I never felt like I missed out on anything growing up. Kids that live in big cities get to go to the movies, hang out in malls, all those things. But I got to be here, the beach my personal playground so to speak. Nature a part of me. I wouldn't swop that for anything in the world."
"I know what you mean," Edward says. "Although Hermanus is bigger than this place it was still a way out and a magical place to grow up."
It's quite cold and I'm glad he's brought a blanket with. I lead him up the rocks to a part where it's quite flat, right next to the rock pool. Lucky for us it's low tide otherwise this wouldn't be possible. High tide surrounds the rock pool and in summer it's fine making your way through but the winter Atlantic is no joke.
We settle and I pull my beanie over my ears. We sip wine as the sun touches the ocean in a splash of color.
I decide to take the plunge and start the conversation that we came here to have. "I don't know what happened last night." My voice is soft, fighting to be heard over the breaking waves on the rocks. "I've had nightmares about him before but last night was different. It was…more intense."
I look at him and he's patiently waiting for me to let it all out.
"In my dream he knew about you. He knew I was spending time with you and he was so angry. He said that no one else would ever love me and that I was just a distraction to you. In my dream my fear wasn't so much for me Edward. It was for you. He told me if I didn't stay away from you he'd kill you." I sigh. "I know this must sound so ridiculous to you because saying it out loud sounds ridiculous to me but it felt so real. When I woke up I felt like all I needed to do was get away from you, to protect you."
He's quiet for a bit, pushing is fingers through his wind swept hair. It's an innocent move on his part but it ignites that flame in my stomach and I have to fight myself to not jump up and straddle him.
"Baby, this thing is eating you alive. It's going to become so bad that you're not going to be who you are anymore. On top of everything you've been through you now have the added stress of thinking that you need to somehow protect me." He moves closer, brushing his fingers down my cheek and I lay my face into his hand. "I can promise you this. I'm the last person you need to protect. If he ever so much as comes within a 100 meters from you I will kill him myself."
"I know that Edward. And I love how safe you make me feel. Like I said, it was just an irrational dream, that's all."
"Not irrational Bella. I know it's going to take a long time for you to heal but I want you to know that I want to be a part of that journey." He moves closer, his eyes on mine, his breath on my lips and I can't hear or see or smell anything else. "Let me be there for you." His lips gently touch mine and I sigh into his mouth, our tongue tips just touching each other, tasting, memorizing. I thread my fingers through his golden hair and deepen the kiss, licking him from the inside out.
"I need you Edward. I need you much more than I should," I confess.
He's kissing my neck, gently sucking, nibbling. "Who says how much you should need me? If it works for us, that should be enough to tell us we have something good going."
And that's good enough for me. I clamber on top of him, straddling him and already he's hard and hot against me. I love how he responds to me, as if he can't help it. The same as me. It's not long before my shirt and bra are gone and the cold sea air runs goose bumps over my skin.
"Baby, it's too cold, let's get out of here," he mumbles against my neck.
"No, I'm fine. I don't want to go anywhere." I moan as he sucks my nipple into his mouth. God, is it normal for it to feel so good?
I get up hastily, taking my pants off, smirking at him as he pulls his off as well. Why is he so damn good looking?
I climb back onto him and slide myself up and down against him, eliciting a drawn out groan from his perfect lips.
"Oh Bella. Fuck, you're so ready for me." If he only knew what it did to me when he spoke to me like that.
I lift myself and when I come back down he's inside of me and once again I am lost in the myriad of feelings I feel for him.
It's intense, so intense tears spring to my eyes. I don't know if it's the cold or this place or just him but within seconds I'm shuddering around him, biting into his shoulder. I'm not sure if that's normal, he literally hasn't been inside me for more than half a minute and I'm crumbling around him.
His arms are around me as I move over him, taking every single inch of him. I'm so sensitive and I can feel myself building again. A slow burn spreads through me and it feels divine. Is this possible? It's a miracle if I do have an orgasm, never mind two in a matter of minutes. But then again, I haven't been with someone who actually cared whether I have one or not.
"I love the way you feel," he whispers, looking at me with such adoration.
"Edward," I whimper, on the brink of falling. Falling over the edge, falling head over feet for this magnificent creature, falling in love. How is this possible? I don't know but it is what it is and my body is erratic in its movements, not sure what's going on but knowing that it wants whatever is coming.
"It's okay baby, I've got you," he assures me.
"I can't…not again…" I mumble feebly. I'm scared I'm going to pass out; I'm battling to force myself to keep on breathing.
"Oh yes you can. I love how you feel when you come, you squeeze me so tight," he breathes, all the while holding my gaze. His mouth is open and he's panting just as hard as me. I'm not the only dog that's had a run in the park.
He's in me, around me, over me and under me and then I can't hold back anymore. I let go, moaning loudly into the night air as I watch him fall apart as well. We kiss softly, easing ourselves down from the high of soaring in each other's arms. "I can't get enough of you," he chuckles.
"Feeling's mutual," I say, kissing down his cheek into his neck. His arms are still wound tight around me, keeping me safe.
I don't know how he does it but in a carefully maneuvered move I'm under him on the blanket with him still inside me, covering me with his godly glory. He's keeping me warm. I grab the once side of the blanket and manage to sort of cover him. It's icy cold now that I'm actually paying attention but I don't want to break this chain that is bounding us together at this moment.
We lie like that for ages, kissing softly, touching here and there; talking about whatever crosses our minds. And when he starts to move inside me again I'm with him, holding him tight to me as we take each other to the skies again.
I wake up in my own bed, lazily stretching and loving the jelly feeling still in my legs. I know I'm grinning like a damn fool again. I decided to rather sleep at home last night, not wanting to really give my parents something to quiz me about. After Edward had dropped me around the corner from my house I had battled for ages to fall asleep. It had taken all I had not to walk down to the caravan park and climb through his window like a creepy mad woman. Not that I think he would have minded.
I sigh, leaning back against my pillows with my knees pulled up and stare at the ceiling. What am I going to do? And these feelings I have, I'm too scared to call it what it is because it shouldn't be. Edward keeps telling me that if we are doing something that makes us happy then why should we conform to the norm but I'm scared of something so strong that should take a long time to develop. But then again, a mother loves her infant the moment she lays eyes on him. Is that not love at first sight? Not the same you silly thing. Not the same at all. This isn't right, no matter which way you spin it. But why not? Who's to say that I can't have these feelings and enjoy them without feeling guilty about it? Tell me, who?
My inner monologue freaks me out and I take a shower, trying to think of anything but Edward. I fail miserably.
Back in my room I see I have a text. I dress quickly and then read it.
E - *Good Morning. Up yet?*
B - *Yeah, just had a shower. What u up to?*
E - *Bored, miss you, wish you were here.*
B - *Feel that way too. Almost climbed through your window last night.*
E - *You should have. It was awful waking up without you.*
My heart is pounding in my chest. Not fluttering, but pounding. He says something like that to me and I just melt.
Before I can respond another message comes through.
E - *So, what's on the agenda for today?*
I smirk. Is he just assuming that I'm going to spend the day with him?
B - *Sorry, have to skip today. Think I'll take a drive with my mom and go do some shopping in Cape Town.*
E - *Serious?*
B - *Serious.*
No message but my phone starts ringing and I start laughing.
"Edward," I answer.
"Come on now. You can't be serious. I'm not going to see you the whole day?"
"Afraid not. I'll let you know when I get back. Spend some time with Emmett and Jasper. Go fishing, go surfing, get drunk, whatever you want."
Silence for a few seconds and then he's chuckling. "Ok, but please let me know when you're back. Have a good time, be safe. I'll see you later."
"Sure. You need anything while I'm out that way?"
"No thanks, I'm good. If I think of something I'll let you know."
"Okay. And the guys? They need anything?"
"Oh Baby, you still have a lot to learn about them. They always need something, mostly unnecessary things but they'll always think of things so I'm not even going to ask."
I laugh. "Okay, well, let me go, I can hear my mom opening the garage and she doesn't know I'm going with."
"Okay. Talk later."
"Okay. Bye."
I rush down the stairs and catch my mom as she's reversing out of the driveway.
It's nice spending time with her. She doesn't pry and I'm thankful for that. I do however offer some information on Edward and his friends, telling her a bit about them and how nice it is to spend time with them. I don't single Edward out too much. She says she's actually glad that I'm spending time with people that make me laugh and she thinks it's a good thing seeing as though I've just been to hell and back.
We do our shopping in Tableview and I ask her to stop at the surf shop in Blaawberg. She comes in with me and looks around while I scout out some beanies. I've noticed most of his surf clothing is Billabong and I buy us both a simple black Crook Beanie from their range.
Luckily my mom doesn't notice that I'm buying two. She's standing outside watching the kite surfers move along the shore. I join her and we stand a few minutes enjoying the site.
We have lunch on the way back at the Blue Peter Hotel. The sun is out and there's no wind and we sit outside, enjoying the bit of warmth breaking through the heart of winter. We have our usual calamari and I enjoy two Savannah's with it. I feel at peace with myself for the first time in a while. It feels good and I know it has more to do with Edward than I am willing to admit. He's somehow managed to convince me that I am worth more than what I think, that I deserve to smile and be happy. On top of that I am slowly starting to believe that I might actually deserve someone like him.
We're just about done when I get an sms from a number I don't recognize.
J - *Hey Bella, it's me, Jasper. Awe man, Edward is gonna kill me when I learns I took your number from his phone.*
I giggle.
B - *Hey Jasper, what's up? I'm guessing you need something?* I remember Edward's warning from this morning.
J - *How'd you guess? If you're still around that side, can I sms you some things quickly?*
B - *That's fine. Fire away.*
He sends me a short list and I ask my mom to stop at the shop in Melkbos quickly, explaining the guys need some things. She waits in the car and I run in to buy the items on Jasper's list. When I get to the last item, which is condoms, I realize this one must be there just for kicks. I make my way to the men's section and try to stifle my laugh as I take about seven packs of different packs, ranging from studded to edible. Just for the joke I throw in a bottle of lube as well. He wants to play this game, I can play it too.
On the way back I send Jasper an sms.
B - *Hi. Got your stuff.*
J - *Great. You coming over? Lighting the fire around 18h00.*
I'm so full at the moment I can't even think of food without feeling sick.
B - *Sure. I'll be there. Just don't expect me to eat. Had a big lunch!*
J – *Bet I can get you to try my famous smoked ribs.*
Hhmm, now that does sound delicious.
B - *Maybe. C u later.*
Back at home I call Edward to tell him I'll be there around six. He moans a bit about the time in between but I ignore him. I know he's only thinking what I'm thinking, that we only have so much time at our disposal before we part ways and possibly part for good.
The thought sends a nervous shiver down my spine and tears threaten to spill over and I'm surprised at just how the idea of never seeing him again eats at my delicate balance of emotions. I knew from the beginning this could be a possibility but I've chosen to ignore it thus far.
