Title: Experiment's (part, chapter, section? 7)

Scribbler:

Disclaimers: The Television Series Lost and its characters in no way, shape, or form belong to me.

Fandom and pairing is the show Lost's Kate and Juliet.

Rated: I'm guessing T for swearing.

Juliet was drained. The emotional release she felt in both her body and mind…It was closer to cathartic than she had ever experienced in her entire life . It was as if every fear, worry, and stress over the last four and a half years was something she had been able to lock up tight in a tiny little secret corner in her heart . A safe hiding place where no one could find it and use it against her.

She hadn't been able to share this part of herself with anyone. When she had attempted to do so with Goodwin, she had learned a hard lesson. She had lost him. Like everything else in her life that meant anything to her, Ben had taken him away. After that she had closed down to anything that didn't have anything to do with just staying alive, surviving.

Then there was Kate. Kate, who she quite literally could trust with her life, as had been made quite evident in there short time together. Another victim of Bengamin Linus and the Dharma Initiative. When she had fantasized about going home she often wondered where she would tell people she had been, people she had known before…before everything had changed. Before she had quite literally discovered the world wasn't just round, it had layers and stratums she had never imagined possible. The things she had seen during her time on the island had truly thrown her own personal beliefs about reality for a serious loop. She knew things now that other people could not even begin to wrap their minds around. Normal people-Racheal…she wouldn't be able to talk about it with them. She knew with a great certainty that they would doubt her very sanity. She knew this painful truth because before, she would have felt the same way.

This other woman she was trapped alone with in a whole new aspect of the madness, had experienced the same phenomena. She knew it was real. The relief at being able to joke about the incontrovertibly bizarre situation with someone who believed her beyond any doubt, because she too had experienced it, was immensely refreshing. She forced herself to consider that maybe that in itself was the reason she felt the way she did about Kate. But she knew it wasn't just that.

She remembered the first time she had laid eyes on the other woman and thought her quite possibly the most beautiful person she had ever seen. At the time she had told herself, sure she was ecstatically pleasing, but so were a lot of the people around her. Of course it was more than that. She was attracted to the brash young brunette, clear and simple. The more time she spent with her the more she tried to avoid her. It seemed everything the young felon said touched her in some way. Either it cracked her up or it made her think, and sometimes it broke her heart a little.

When she had helped Kate and Sawyer escape she tried to force herself to believe that it was only her own best interest's she had in mind. Ben would free her in exchange for helping him convince Jack to do the life saving operation he so desperately needed. Jack wanted Kate and Sawyer safe. Pretty simple mathematics, right? But that wasn't all, not really. She had found herself becoming physically ill toward the end of the younger woman's incarceration. Watching her being forced into the crazy strenuous physical labor in order to weaken her, to make her break and tell Ben anything he needed know to make Jack cooperate. It made Juliet's head and belly feel all queasy. She wondered if she hadn't figured out a way to get the younger woman away from, 'the others', just because she couldn't seem to bare to see her suffer.

Her tears and body wracking sobs seemed to be dissipating, but she knew she owed her friend a great deal in allowing her to let it out. Just letting her feel what she so needed to feel for the first time in so long was such an overwhelming gift that she knew she could never repay. She was very reluctant to move away from the unbelievably wonderful comfort of just having the other woman's arms around her. "I'm sorry," the blonde mumbled forcing herself to pull away and sit back, "You shouldn't have to deal with listening to my lunacy." When she tried to shrug and laugh it off it came out as more of a choked up whimper. She quickly looked down at the floor again suddenly embarrassed by her pathetic little breakdown.

Kate cradled Juliet's downcast face in her hands tenderly tilting her face up to meet her gaze. "You have nothing to be sorry for." She said with such certainty. "I didn't know."

Kate watched the other woman's eyes as they met her own. She couldn't believe the sheer gratitude and relief she saw there. Juliet had been alone in this nightmare for so long. Kate knew that this island could certainly screw with your mental well being . Then she tried to imagine it without Jack, Sawyer, Claire, Sun and Rose to talk to. She really had a hard time imagining going through it without…help?

"No one did. No one could. I couldn't risk telling anyone else." Her mouth became a small sad little smile.

Kate brushed away a few errant tears rolling down the blonde's cheeks gently with the slightly callused pad of her thumb. She could feel the moisture on her own face and ignored it. She had to be there for Juliet now, she could go freak out over her own incredibly emotional reaction to the doctor's story later. Right now Juliet needed her and she wanted so badly to be able to help her.

"But you told me." Kate smiled reassuringly.

Juliet returned her smile with her own simply happy content one. "Yup, maybe we should put some more thought into your calling. I'm thinking shrink might also have been a good career choice for you."

Kate snorted a little with a self deprecating attitude. "I sucked in psychology class."

"That wouldn't have anything to do with your own refusal to deal with any of your own personal issues would it?" She asked with a hint of a smirk.

"Issues? Me? What issues?" Kate joked just happy to see the other woman smiling again. She needed her to smile. It was like a craving, not something she had control over, somehow it was something she just needed.

"Right," Juliet laughed, "No. We might be in trouble if we had issues while we're stuck here without therapy. Such a good thing neither of us have any bones of contention to deal with. That could be awkward."

Kate giggled, "Yeah thank god we're in such good shape with the whole mental health thing."

Kate looked into Juliet's eyes like they somehow held the answers to all the questions in the universe. She felt her own smile falter as she suddenly felt like she was drowning in those deep pools of blue. She would gladly let herself drown there if only she was allowed to stay. Then she was all too aware that she couldn't stop herself from glancing down at those full soft lips in front of her. She tried to force her breath into a deep regular rhythm but felt like she was grasping for something-anything she could hold onto not to get lost in Juliet .

Then it just happened, Kate felt herself leaning forward into Juliet's personal space, almost as if she had no control over her own actions. She pressed her lips to Juliet's with a soft gasp. Everything seemed to stop there. All she could feel was the petal soft skin of the other woman's mouth under her own. It only made her want more. She needed to be closer to the other woman. She felt she couldn't get enough of her. Then harsh reality reared its ugly head.

"Kate?" The blonde spoke in a startled tone, pulling away a little shocked by the brunette kissing her.

It was then that Kate realized her world was about to implode. God! What had she done? She snapped her own head back in shock. "Oh shit!" she cursed as the full realization of what had just happened creeped in on her. "I-"

Juliet saw Kate's panicked expression and wanted nothing more than to reassure her. She wanted to tell her it was ok. It was what she wanted too, but it was too late. The younger woman seemed to leap up to her feet before she could even catch her breath. "Jesus, I'm sorry Juliet." She cried and suddenly ran for the nearest exit.

Juliet was once again left sitting there with a dumbstruck expression, unable to keep up with the other woman who flew straight out the front door. It only took her another moment of shock before she realized what had happened and that Kate had run blindly out into the storm. Juliet was on her feet before she even realized it chasing after the other woman. "Wait!" she called after her, of course her loud demand was in vain, as Juliet realized the other woman was already way out of earshot.

By the time she made it outside Kate was gone. She looked left and right, down the regular path's they used. With the almost sheet like rain she couldn't even see five feet in front of her face let alone find her trail. Taking a deep breath she rushed back into the front hallway to grab a jacket and one of the backpacks they kept packed there for emergencies before she rushed out into the storm after Kate.

Kate was running fast. It was like someone had hit the autopilot switch and her head had emptied of all thought. She just knew she had to get away. On some level she knew she was running towards their old camp at the beach. She had no idea why though, since there was nothing there anymore.

It happened quite suddenly. One moment her body was cooperating and she was quickly being carried away from yet another awkward strange predicament she had idiotically gotten herself into. Then she was falling. Her feet lost their purchase on the ground underneath them. She felt her ankle turn at an odd angle, a sharp pain on her chest and then her head came into contact with a firm surface, hard. She didn't think anything then, lying halfway down the steep ravine unconscious.

Five hours later, mercifully, the rain had slowed to a trickle. She still couldn't see the sun through the dark clouds but no longer had to stare directly at the ground in front of her to prevent herself from falling on her ass. Juliet had run around the jungle completely aimlessly for a long time before she forced herself to stop and think. She remembered the last time Kate had disappeared on her. She had gone to the beach. Backtracking almost all the way to the house she found the trail that led to the old campsite.

She was still trying to go slow looking around desperately for any sign of her lost friend, when she noticed the big smear in the dirt. It went down the side of the almost cliff and she stopped cold. Looking down to the bottom of the ravine she immediately had two thoughts. There was a deep stream there. If Kate had fallen she could be under all that rushing water. No, she forced her brain away from the horrifying image of the young woman who meant everything to her floating dead in the swirling water.

Closing her eyes she forced the gloomy thought's from her mind and began to look around. Then she saw her. She was about a third of the way down the hill to the stream and she wasn't moving. At first Juliet felt like she couldn't breathe looking at Kate's unmoving form. She winced staring at her. She was so still. It was impossible to see from here if she was breathing. Then she was tightening the backpack straps around her shoulders and sitting down on her bum at the precipice of the ravine.

She made her way down the slope painfully slowly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she mumbled when she herself almost lost her grip and began to slide down. When she finally reached the other woman she was once again holding her own breath as she reached out to touch her neck and found a strong pulse there. She laughed aloud when she saw Kate's eyes crack open a little.

"Kate!"

"S'ry," Kate slurred "fell."

"I can see that" Juliet's grin at Kate at least appearing to be ok nearly split her face in half. "I'm here now, I'm gonna get you out of here."

"So sorry," Kate said seriously, "Didn't mean to…"

Juliet's eyes widened with fear as she saw Kate's own begin to roll back a liitle.

"Hey, it's ok Kate. Everything's ok now. Just try to stay with me alright?" she pleaded quickly noting the deep gash through her shirt and left breast, and the egg shaped bruise on her noggin.

"Re-ly tired though."

"Yeah well you can sleep when you're dead." Juliet said firmly, incredibly grateful for the fact that she wasn't dead. Glancing down she felt a shiver overtake her entire body at the thought of what might have happened if Kate hadn't been caught by the slight outcropping on the slope.

Grabbing her under her arms she started the slow and daunting task of dragging the other woman up to the path. She was a little surprised at how light the other woman was and when her shirt got pulled up she gasped out loud. Kate was so thin. Then she remembered Kate hadn't seemed to be eating that much. They had actually joked that she was the best person to be trapped in this situation with because she was easy to fill up.

God, she thought, immediately understanding what the brunette had been doing. "You haven't been eating!"

"I'm kay," Kate argued weakly.

"No. You're not!" Juliet found herself becoming as angry as she was touched by Kate's sacrifice.

"Jesus Christ, Katherine Austin, what were you thinking." She said as she managed to pull them both over the edge onto solid ground again.

"I just wanted to make sure there was enough." She murmured before crying out sharply in agony when her ankle hit a rock.

"What? What is it?" Juliet inquired in a panic.

"Ankle." Kate breathed through the pain.

"Let me see." Juliet skittered around the other woman trying to wipe the water out of her eyes to get a better look at Kate's foot.

"Owww!" Kate screeched as she picked it up to try and remove her shoe.

"Ok, Ok." Juliet soothed replacing her foot on the ground gently. She looked around frantically for a moment before she came to the conclusion that there was only one way to go here. She looked at the other woman who was now breathing heavily in pain and barely clinging to consciousness. "Here's what we're gonna do Kate."

Kate's eyes began to close.

"Hey are you with me Kate?" she yelled moving up to grab her chin and point her half shut eyes in her direction.

"Mmmm…"

"Ok then, I'm gonna half to carry you, alright?" She said squatting next to the smaller woman.

"You-huh?" Kate laughed a little deliriously as Juliet pulled her up into a sitting position.

"You laugh but I could bench press you in my sleep." She only half joked as she tucked her shoulder into the other woman's stomach and struggled to get her into the fireman carry position.

"ove u," Kate's voice was back to a slur and then she was out.

Juliet froze for a moment halfway to standing up with Kate over her shoulder when the other woman's words registered in her head. Then she stood up straight and with a determined lurch began walking back up the path. Kate really was light even covered in mud and soaking wet. Juliet smiled as she walked on and said softly to herself. " I love you too."