The lie had ripped her heart in two. She thought that maybe, if she wasn't bound to the Hub, would she have made her choice differently? Chosen Rhys instead of Torchwood, or Rhys instead of Jack? Rhys would never forgive her now and she knew it. That's why she had to be heartless. If she had said something other than what she did, he would have asked questions, got angry, probably accuse her of cheating on him, and he would keep looking until he found her, but no. What she said, it had broken his heart.
"Why did you do that?" Jack whispered roughly, holding her arms and shaking her firmly. It was only then that he realised, just how much he wanted Gwen to have a normal life and he couldn't understand why she did it.
"Too dangerous" she murmured. She had stopped sobbing now, although tears were constantly falling down her cheeks as she spoke, trying to make sense of it all. "You were right" she said looking straight at Jack. "I could never live with myself if I hurt him."
"That's not what I meant Gwen" Jack said in despair. This was his doing. "I promised you that I wouldn't let you hurt anyone" he said calmly. "We're going to help you and when we do you are going to regret this Gwen."
"Help me! You don't have a plan" Gwen spat. "You don't even know if you can save me!"
"I will" he said sternly.
Gwen turned away and laughed mockingly with fear and sadness in her eyes.
Jack turned her head back to face him. "I promise you, I will save you" he said dangerously.
Gwen almost instantly calmed down as she stare deep into his eyes and for a moment, just a moment, she actually believed that he could control life and death.
"So why did you do it?" he asked after a while.
"I put him in danger" she said sadly. Jack went to protest so she continued. "Not just today. That's why none of you have partners isn't it? As long as you work for Torchwood, the one's you love are in danger."
"That's not why Gwen. It's always difficult to see someone outside of work but it's not impossible" Jack said encouragingly.
"Why don't you have a partner then?" Gwen asked, trying to prove him wrong.
Jack got up and walked away from Gwen. "It's not the same for me" he said after a while.
"Why? Cause you're the boss!" Gwen pushed.
Jack walked back and bent down to her level. "You know what happens to people I love Gwen? They die. Not because of Torchwood, they simply grow old, and die!" he said heatedly. "I out-live them Gwen" he said sadly. "I can't die. I watch all my friends, everyone I love die knowing that I can't. And one day you'll die too, but I'll always live Gwen. Tell me how can I love someone knowing that?"
Gwen didn't say anything. She didn't think she had the right to. She tried to maintain eye contact with him, but couldn't and looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry" she said after a long silence. "But you can't always control your feelings Jack, as much as you might try to ignore them, you do feel and you do fall in lov-" before she knew what was happening Jack had pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was soft and uncertain, unlike before when it had been desperate and passionate. This time there were no barriers between them, nothing and no one to stand in their way. Gwen was caught way of guard. She expected him to be even angrier with her for giving him advice that she didn't think it was her place to give. And the way he was kissing her, really kissing her. Letting all his fears just melt away and risking all that he had to offer.
Jack pulled back to look at Gwen. Gwen opened her eyes and for the first time she saw Jack. The man who was always unreadable, always hiding his emotions, was now vulnerable and scared. "I feel Gwen" he paused. "I feel love when I think of you."
"I knew it!" Gwen exclaimed. "Oh I'm sorry you wanted and answer didn't you? Well I can always answer on her behalf if you'd like. After all…we both want the same thing."
Jack didn't even bother checking the readings. "And what is that?" he said, trying to sound sarcastic, but as he spoke his voice was thick with emotion. Hurt and anger.
"Each other" she whispered huskily in his ear.
Jack gasped as her free hand slid inside his trousers and she trailed kisses along his jaw line.
Sorry I'm leaving it there for now because I not paying attention anymore. Thankyou everyone for reviewing. Your reviews have been like the only reason I've been updating so keep it up!
