The Birthday Present
By excessivelyperky
Rowling: All hers.
Author's note: AU to HBP, has spoilers for everything up to HBP. In my version of events, someone named Bellwood was Head of Slytherin when Snape was a student, not our dear old Sluggy (though he was about as effective at looking after his students).
Chapter 7: Minerva Takes a Hand
Albus DumbledoreThe Headmaster woke early, despite getting to bed late. He went to the Great Hall annex to chat with whomever might be up at this same time. As he'd hoped, Minerva sat in front of her porridge and tea in the side room where the staff normally breakfasted during summers and holidays. He glanced around, but saw no one else. He shouldn't be surprised. Most of the other teachers were away, and he didn't really expect Snape to be up. I had better check on him today, though he didn't seem injured last night, Albus thought.
"I hope Severus is all right," Minerva said after she'd greeted him. "I thought you were going to tell him last night to go see Poppy because his arm was hurting so much."
"I was just glad to see him come back," he said as he sat, knowing the house elf would soon bring him his usual hearty breakfast, and another cup for the teapot in front of McGonagall. "I wish he'd say something when he's in pain." Yet Madam Pomfrey needed her rest during the summers, too. It wasn't as if Snape didn't have access to various pain potions. "I'll make sure to talk to him today."
"Good," Minerva said. "I'm glad you didn't have him stay long, though."
"We sat up much too late," Dumbledore said, now wishing he'd been more sensible. "But it was good to talk with just the two of us. I am glad he isn't up this early. He needs more rest." And won't get it if he's still having nightmares, an inner voice reminded him. With that child murdered in front of his eyes, no doubt they'll be worse.
His old friend smiled faintly and took another sip of her tea. "How's the master schedule coming along?"
"Just the preliminaries. I'm trying to put most of Snape's classes during the afternoons, especially the upper-level ones. I can occasionally persuade him to let someone else take the lower classes. That will cut into Quidditch practice, though. If anyone's taking advanced Potions and Astronomy, they won't be able to play unless they skip dinner." There were so many factors to take into account. "Your classes will be early, of course, though it looks right now like Advanced Transfiguration is going to conflict with Individual Project in Potions this year. On top of that, Vector's going to scream about NEWT-level Arithmancy against sixth-year Potions. Miss Granger will be wanting the Time-Turner again."
Minerva snorted. "Well, she can't have it. She nearly wore herself out that year, and I want her in good shape for her seventh. Snape told me that some of the potions she needed to recover from the Ministry Raid might bother her if she falls ill this summer. Oh, and did you send an owl off to Shacklebolt to check on Mr. Potter?"
"As soon as you left," he said smugly. Albus was pleased that Severus was showing signs of being more concerned about students other than his precious Slytherins. He shouldn't feel so angry that it had taken this long, though deep inside he knew he did.
"I also told him that he could put in for an assistant this year," McGonagall added. "Last year was difficult for him, and he'll have to brew the Wolfsbane Potion on top of it for this one. I've heard about some new Ministry regulations from Poppy, and I wonder if we ought to have an alternative schedule set up in case they're implemented. Any change in Snape's classes will affect the rest of us."
"That will mean some morning classes for him, though with breaks during the day."
"He'll use them to grade or catch up on brewing, but better than sitting up half the night," Minerva said. "And Filch will throw a fit because he's used to having help with his patrols. We've gotten rather dependent on Severus filling in all those extra duties, haven't we?"
"Pomfrey's got a much bigger budget for the standard potions this year," the Headmaster said. "That should help. I'm afraid he'll still have to brew the specialty ones. I'm trying to argue some more funds out of the Ministry, since their regulations will decrease the amount of time that Snape ought to be in front of a cauldron. If they're passed, that is. I still hope they won't be. Poppy is still waiting for the results to come back from his blood test, but that should be soon."
"Actually, this could work for us," McGonagall mused. "If his health has been affected, or we can show somehow that it has, it'll be easier to explain to Filch why he won't have as much help this year. I'm not sure how much Argus should know about all this. He can't help finding out part of what's really going on, even being a Squib, but he got rather fond of Madam Umbridge last year. It may not be wise to tell him too much."
Albus hadn't thought about Filch at all. "I wonder what he saw last year," he said.
"Severus generally stayed in Hagrid's hut or the boat cabin to rest when he returned from Order business. I'm not sure if Filch saw him much when he wasn't at his best. This Ministry thing could help us. It'd be easier to blame any er, illnesses on an ongoing problem rather than find a new excuse for each incident."
Minerva always saw things clearly. Dumbledore sighed. "I swear, we spend more effort on him than we do any other member of the staff."
"We ask more of him, too," she said softly. "I know it must be exhausting to be his father figure, but he wouldn't do this for anyone but you. Besides, you've always had a soft spot for the hard cases, like Tom, Severus, and now Harry."
"I wouldn't call the boy a hard case." The Headmaster dug into his eggs and rashers, which had finally appeared in front of him.
"He was quite disrespectful last year, and not just to Severus," McGonagall said. "All of us had trouble with the boy, even his friends. He did have good reason. Umbridge was particularly abominable to him, as well as to some of the other boys. That damned quill of hers ought to be an Unforgivable!" She shook with rage. "And then to send him back to those wretched Dursleys! Snape had quite a few words about them, believe me. I'm glad you finally told Moody about that family."
Albus nodded, though it hadn't been him. Severus had probably dropped a hint or two into Mad-Eye's ear, and let it go from there. "I failed there. I failed Harry so badly."
"So did I," said Minerva. "We're not used to seeing that sort of child in Gryffindor. I don't look for the signs. I wonder who else I've missed?"
"That's why I asked Snape to do what he could," the Headmaster said. He was tired already though he'd been up for a short while. "I hate admitting he takes better care of his Snakes than I have so far with Harry. Maybe the Hat was right after all. It wanted to put the boy there in the beginning. I was so proud he chose Gryffindor instead. Maybe that was a mistake. I've seen Snape's files, and he has to cope with that kind of family all the time. The students tell him things that terrify me, but he considers it all in a days' work."
"No doubt he would," said McGonagall, who knew as much about Snape's background as he did. "A pity that Bellwood wasn't that kind of head when Severus was a student."
"That's why I knew he'd make a good Head of Slytherin. He'll give up arguing with me sometimes, but never over one of his students. He's also used to people lying to him. I still wonder what he puts in the hot chocolate he gives to his firsties on Sunday afternoons."
"Bold talk from someone who gives out lemon drops from a different bowl than the one he eats from!" his friend said with a laugh.
"Why, my dear Minerva," he said blandly, "how dare you suspect me of ulterior motives? At least I don't turn into a cat and listen in that way."
"It's all I can do to keep up," she shot back. "Between the portraits telling you everything and your special lemon drops, no wonder everyone thinks you're omniscient."
Dumbledore tried to look innocent and knew he'd failed completely. "No wonder Severus won't have any," he said. "But how does Poppy know so much?"
"Oh, she has the house elves organized," Minerva said. "And I'd be careful what I said in a greenhouse unless you don't mind Pomona finding out. Some of those plants are brighter than they look."
"Are there any secrets in this place?"
"Probably not. Albus, go back to bed. That pile of paper will still be there even if you wait till noon to get to your desk, and your decisions will be better for getting more rest. We have to look after you, too."
The Headmaster bowed his head, feeling older than ever. "I think I will," he said. "At my age you have to sleep when you can. Though now that I think about it, when was the last time you took one of your potions?"
McGonagall sighed. "Aren't we a fine bunch? A good thing others are even worse off."
"For now," Albus said, and left. Perhaps if he slept some more he could make sense of his dreams this time. In them, the pillars of Hogwarts had been active, all but Hufflepuff's. Just before he'd woken up he'd heard the hissing of a huge serpent. Did that mean Tom was contemplating attack now? And was there any way to protect Hogwarts with the staff so diminished this time of year if he did?
Minerva McGonagall
Minerva McGonagall wondered what was wrong with Albus. He seemed concerned for Severus, but wasn't following through the way he normally did. She supposed last year had been bad for him, too. Of course, time was not on the Headmaster's side.
I know what half of Snape's problem is, she thought as she finished the last of her porridge. Before the Potter boy came here, Albus treated him like a son. Slytherin won the Cup several years in a row, and without blatant point-dumping on anybody's side, either. Oh, I whinged and moaned like the other House Heads, but Severus really had those children in hand. But once Harry and his friends showed up, Snape may as well not exist except to get set down for the way he treated the boy. As much as she liked Gryffindor winning, the way the Headmaster had gone about it so far smelt badly. Even when it should have been Hufflepuff's turn to shine when Diggory had been chosen for the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry had been the star, again. Pomona had been most vocal about it, and everyone knew what Snape suspected. It had been a relief to find out that Barty Crouch Jr. had been behind Harry's falsified entry into the Goblet, and not Albus himself. But she hadn't had the heart to razz Severus about it, not when he'd risked so much by showing the Mark to that idiot Fudge.
Last year, of course, had been a complete shower. Umbridge's total disregard of any kind of fairness had grated on everyone, even Snape, the lucky recipient of most of that woman's largesse. Naturally everyone else had been even more upset. Severus had made the comment to her once after a particularly nauseating episode, "Shoe hurts when it's on the other foot, doesn't it?" At first she'd been angry, then realized how things must look to the Head of Slytherin.
Perhaps last year had been a lesson that points didn't mean as much as people thought they did when given out unfairly. Snape had learned that lesson long ago, but of course no one else had paid any attention—well, except Flitwick and Sprout. As much as she enjoyed Gryffindor's pre-eminence, things were out of balance, and had been ever since Harry had been sorted into her House.
To be fair, Dumbledore constantly reassured any Order member who asked of Snape's loyalty. But things weren't really the same. Albus had been the only one besides Poppy to show real warmth to the man, though she and most of the other staff members considered Severus a friend, however prickly he might be. However, it had been clear to everyone one that Snape was jealous of all the attention Harry had gotten since the moment the boy had sat under the Hat.
And why shouldn't he be? Severus was a grown man, but had been at Hogwarts save for a year or so since he was eleven. He'd lost his parents when he was only fourteen, and then had been taken up by Lucius Malfoy. Minerva had tried to ignore the rumors about Malfoy's involvement with Snape, though Albus had taken them seriously enough to deny Lucius the post of Head Boy in Malfoy's seventh year. Since his return from the Death Eaters, Severus had been dependent, both emotionally and legally, on the Headmaster. There are days when I think Albus likes it that way.
Now Severus probably feels more abandoned than ever, Minerva thought, pouring herself the last cup out of the pot. I certainly did myself last year when we were stuck with that bitch Umbridge. Hard to believe that she and Molly were roommates. I know it was important to discredit the woman, but was it a good idea to allow her free rein to treat the children so? Perhaps it's time we all grew up and stopped leaning on Albus so much. He can make mistakes, and so can I. It's time I learned from mine.
One mistake she'd made last night was to concentrate so much on the Weasley boy, wonder out loud what on earth Miss Edgecombe had been thinking, and ignore the Slytherins completely. Severus must think we've written him and his off completely. I suppose we have. No wonder he left early. How galling it must have been to hear us go on about two of them, and not mention the other ten.
She got up and carried her dishes to the kitchen. This gave her an excuse to look on in the house elves and listen to a bit of their gossip. Winky was better these days, but would bear watching. Few would notice in summer if she went back to her old habits with the butterbeer. She greeted the little elf cheerfully, though she wondered where Dobby had gone to.
McGonagall went down to the dungeons. She was shocked that Snape's normal wards weren't up, save for the ones he had around all the time. He always put up more while he slept, and never removed them till he dressed and left his private quarters. She smiled a little. He had offered to show her how to put them around her own rooms, but she was never interrupted quite as much as he seemed to be by his students. Is it because his are Slytherins, or because I leave mine to themselves more? This was a day for reflection, all right.
She frowned. She could force her way in, and perhaps she should. He might be far more injured than he had let on. She spoke her password as Deputy Headmistress to the onyx serpent on the door, and it unknotted. The door opened easily. She swiftly scanned the rooms, including the shabby, clean bedchamber, but couldn't find him anywhere.
Then she thought about it. Where did I go the night the Potters died, after Harry was left with the Dursleys? She gave the password to the Slytherin Common Room and walked in.
Severus was on one of the couches, apparently asleep, though Dobby patted his right arm over the cloth. "Master Severus, Master Severus, please wake up," said the house elf.
"Perhaps if you touched him on the skin he might," she said. "Or perhaps you ought to let him sleep. He was in late last night." It must be uncomfortable, but moving him wouldn't help.
"Oh, no, Mistress Green-Eyes, mustn't touch. Bad to touch him, bad, bad, bad. Wake up Master Severus, please wake up. Not have bad dreams."
Snape looked pale and calm, though it was clear he'd lost weight again. Minerva had seen him in the Hall every day taking a meal for the last week. But had that been his only meal? She'd told Dobby to take him two trays per day. "Has he been eating the food you bring him?"
"He tries, Mistress, he really does. He drinks tea then takes a bite, drinks tea then takes a bite, but can't finish. I bring smaller trays, he happier."
"I see. Well, he doesn't look like he's having bad dreams now. Perhaps you ought to let him rest and come back later."
The house elf hung his head. "If you stay, please? Was crying last night, crying in his sleep, Dobby couldn't wake him. So quiet now, but won't wake up at all."
"I wish you had gotten Madam Pomfrey." This didn't sound good.
"Master Severus says he is bad sometimes, not to bother Mistress Nurse. I try to take him to bed last night, he cries out in his sleep when I move him, but is better when I put him back."
"I'll stay here a while," Minerva said. "You are good elf, Dobby, to look after the Potions Master so well."
"Oh, Dobby's done it for a long time, Mistress. Master Severus stayed with Master Lucius. Dobby always fixes what Master Lucius breaks."
McGonagall bit her lip. How very interesting. She'd just been thinking about those old rumors. She'd persuaded that Bellwood had known all about it and was taking care of it. But Bellwood didn't say anything to Albus about the Marauders, at least not where I could hear, one reason I never took the complaints seriously. Until the Shrieking Shack, of course, and even then Slytherin ended up losing points over it as well. I wonder that Snape has forgiven me or Albus for what we let happen. "You've done well, Dobby. But that was a long time ago. I'll sit with Severus now."
"Oh, no, not a long time at all. Master Lucius in prison now, but wasn't last year." Then Dobby clapped his hand over his mouth.
"But he is in Azkaban and can't hurt anyone," Minerva said gently, despite the chill that settled in her heart. Obviously she was still out of the loop about some things. "Dobby, go fix a breakfast tray and some very strong tea. If the Professor does wake soon, he'll probably be quite hungry."
"Oh, Dobby hopes so," the elf said, and left.
She watched Severus sleep. Experimentally, she brushed his right hand. He shuddered, but didn't wake up. Now that she thought about it, he avoided being touched by anyone most of the time. Why would he flinch? She was afraid she could guess what could have happened when Snape stayed with the Malfoys after his parents' death. What had happened last year? The Order desperately needed the information Severus brought back, but nobody ever asked him how he got it. Sirius Black had made a crude joke about it just once in her hearing, but she'd cured him of that. What had Black said when she wasn't around? Had it been true?
Even so, what could anyone do about it? It would hurt Severus more if he thought people had any idea what he was really going through. Most members of the Order would rather close their eyes to the situation. At worst, some would use Snape's sacrifice against him. It wasn't as if he was treated well by most of them already.
It didn't matter. Something had to be done. Severus was clearly in a great deal of pain. If Dumbledore didn't have the strength to deal with it, then she would have to. All of them had left such burdens to Albus for too long.
Dobby brought back the tray, piled high with Snape's favorites. "Just leave it there," she said. "I'll put a warming spell on it."
The house elf babbled his gratitude, and then went off to other duties. McGonagall continued to watch Severus sleep. His breathing was even as long as she didn't touch him on the skin. Then she tried the left hand, though more carefully, given the way his arm had clearly hurt him last night. Oddly enough, he didn't react at all. In fact, now she was really looking at it, the left arm looked quite limp.
Then his eyes opened. "Percy Weasley is spying for Moody," he whispered.
Minerva felt a rush of joy to learn the boy wasn't disloyal after all. Percy had always been one of her favorite students. Then she was terrified. "How could Moody do such a thing?"
"Suspects me." Snape took a deep breath. "Wants to catch me."
"But what if you must do…do something to keep your cover?" McGonagall asked.
"Cell next to Malfoy. Or in the Special Section." Severus closed his eyes again. "No one to protect the students who've taken the Mark…"
McGonagall felt like hexing Moody's leg off. Either one. "And once you're gone, it'd be up to Mr. Weasley to take your place."
"He's just a boy," Snape said, his eyes still closed.
"Not much older than you when we asked you to do the same thing," Minerva said. "But I didn't think it was right then and it's not right now. I will deal with Moody. Can you sit up?"
He opened his eyes and shook his head. "No. Call Dobby."
"I can manage," she said. Minerva levitated the pillow beneath him so he was supported in a half-sitting position. "A good thing he has so few followers right now. We're all a bunch of invalids today."
"Headmaster?" He looked anxious.
"Tired to death, though he looked like he slept well when he first came in for breakfast. I sent him back to bed, and he actually went. Of course I keep pretending I'm all the way better, and yes, I will take that dreadful potion. What happened to your left arm?" She hoped it was just his arm. She brought the breakfast tray over with her wand and spelled it to hover.
"Not sure," Severus said, and told her a confused story of the Dark Mark, sponsorships, and the pillars. "I know it doesn't make sense. I'm sure it was just my own vainglory imagining the Serpent of Slytherin."
"I've seen the Lion a few times. I don't see why the Serpent wouldn't come to you," Minerva said, touching his left hand again. It was limp and cold. "Does your Mark hurt now?"
"No. I can't move my left arm at all." He turned his face away.
"You're going to see Poppy for that. You should have gone to her last night." Perhaps the mediwitch ought to sit in on Snape's reports and monitor him whether he liked it or not. She hated taking more choices away from the poor man, but it was clear he wasn't caring for himself very well. She thought of something else. "Is there anything more about the meeting itself that you remember better this morning? We didn't give you much chance last night the way we hared off after the Weasley boy and Miss Edgecombe."
"How did you find me here?" Snape asked.
"I went to the Gryffindor Common Room the night the Potters died. I suspect that Pomona did as much for Mr. Diggory a year ago. Of course you're going to grieve for your students, Severus. You didn't fail them, no matter what you might think right now."
Snape smiled sadly for just a moment. Minerva noticed that the expression seemed properly hung on both sides and his face didn't sag. "I hope you're right," he said. "I can't remember if I mentioned the other things or not. The Dark Lord kept me after the others had left. He had Nagini sniff me." His face stiffened. "The Headmaster must watch out. The Dementors are coming back to Azkaban, and Fudge will let them. Dumbledore might be forced to take direct control of the Ministry. If he refuses to do so, they'll try to distract him with all these new regulations, including the ones about me." He fell silent for a moment. His eyelids lowered, and for a moment McGonagall thought Severus was going back to sleep.
Then he gazed at her again. "I remember something now. The Daily Prophet had a problem once over twenty years ago. Everyone felt sleepy all the time, even if they'd rested well the night before. It turned out to be the ink. The maker had accidentally spilled some kind of potion during the process. It smeared, too, and didn't dry properly. I, I was there in the office and smelled it. I told them something was wrong, and finally convinced Miss Skeeter to have someone check it. They had to throw out drums full of the stuff. Those regulations—not the study that went with it, that's all right—the Ministry papers Dumbledore gave me smell the same way. If nothing else, the Weasley boy needs to be warned if he's using the ink to make copies."
Minerva remembered how Albus had complained about it coming off onto his fingers. Though his windows were almost always open, perhaps skin contact had an effect. Perhaps the ink should be tested. "Anything else?"
"Yes." Snape's color was a bit better now. "Madam Pomfrey needs to know that her contact at St. Mungo's isn't secure. The Dark Lord has my test results already. He didn't show them to me, but he said the numbers weren't good. I know he was only pretending to be concerned about me, Minerva. Believe me, I know what that's like."
"You can tell Poppy after you have some breakfast," McGonagall said.
Severus began eating by himself, though his left arm was still motionless.
Minerva was glad he didn't seem to be in the same kind of pain he was last night. She stopped asking questions, though. Snape lost his appetite easily enough without her chatter contributing to it.
The more she thought about Moody the angrier she got. The retired Auror had never made a secret of his desire to have Severus back in prison, but she had thought Dumbledore had finally gotten through to Moody about how badly they needed the Potions Master. Apparently the lecture hadn't sunk in. She rehearsed what she would say to Mad-Eye. Albus was clearly exhausted these days. Minerva thought she'd take a look and sniff at those Ministry papers herself. She was Deputy Headmistress, after all. Despite everyone's exhortations for her to take it easy, a lap full of papers while sitting in an easy chair shouldn't ruin her health.
Severus lay down his fork, though he'd eaten only half the plate. Dobby had piled it pretty high, though. "That's better," he said. "I can get to the infirmary myself now."
"I'll come along with you," Minerva said, "and choke down another vial of that horrible potion."
Snape stood without help, though he seemed a bit wobbly and steadied himself on the top of the couch. He didn't appear to have any weakness just on his left side besides his arm, which he tucked into a pocket.
McGonagall breathed a little sigh of relief. She watched Albus these days for any sign of a stroke, especially after being told by the staff at St. Mungo's that she had barely avoided one herself. Severus was far too young for one, but the pressure on him was tremendous and what he might have to endure even worse.
They took it slowly to the infirmary, but finally got there. Poppy fetched her potion first and made her sit down to drink it. Snape smirked. "You don't have to enjoy it so much," McGonagall teased. "Now, tell her about your arm."
Madam Pomfrey helped Severus off with his robe and shirt. Minerva made herself look at the scars, including the claw mark along the side that one of her students had been responsible for, without flinching. Poppy went over the left arm with her wand, though it was clear she was taking the opportunity to scan the rest of him as well. "It's almost like the paralysis from a snakebite," the mediwitch said, "but I can't detect any poison. I'm not even getting the sort of reading that I usually do from, er…"
"The Dark Mark," Snape said morosely. "You can see it's still there." In fact, it burned much blacker than McGonagall had ever seen it. It looked like it ought to hurt immensely.
"Keep the arm warm and have it supported by a sling for the next couple of days. Soak in hot water as much as you can to help the circulation, and let me know if there's any change. Did it happen last night?" Poppy looked worried.
"Yes, but not at the meeting." Snape told his story again, though with fewer details. "I was obviously hallucinating at the time, though I don't know why. I didn't eat or drink anything, and Nagini didn't bite me. She did lick me, though…" His brow furrowed for a moment. "Maybe her saliva contains a skin contact poison."
"Or you might be reacting to the amount of potions residue in your system," the mediwitch said. "I got the test results from St. Mungo's this morning. I'll have to reference my copy of the study with their numbers, but just from glancing at it I can tell it's not good."
"Your friend at the hospital talks too much, or someone is spying on him," Snape said. "The Dark Lord had his own copy last night, and said the same thing."
Pomfrey went pale. "Oh, dear."
"Maybe it's a good thing I let you work on me instead," Severus commented acerbically.
Minerva said nothing, but remembered the week or so she'd spent in hospital last month. Nothing had seemed different from the few times she'd been there before. But Molly had spent every moment at her husband's side when Arthur had been there. There was also a curious story going round about an Auror who had died just when he'd started to recover. No wonder poor Mr. Longbottom was so worried about his parents. Perhaps he wondered what might happen to them if they should start to heal.
Poppy began helping Snape back into his shirt. "Albus needs to see those numbers, too. He'll make the final decision on what happens next. At the very least, though, you should get a complete workup by the Swiss at their clinic." The Potions Master bristled. The mediwitch continued. "Perhaps they have an outpatient regime," she added gently. "You won't be able to brew till this heals anyway."
Severus picked up his wand and spelled his shirt to button up. Minerva was a bit surprised. Most men didn't learn those kind of charms. No doubt Snape had gotten used to being disabled at times. "How long did it take for the Dark Mark to stop hurting the first time you got it?" she asked.
"About a week. But Malfoy was my sponsor, and took some of the pain. That's one of the things a sponsor is supposed to do." He looked down at the floor.
"Let's assume you managed it for all those students," Poppy said briskly. "It may take up to two weeks for your arm to fully recover, and you shouldn't worry about it till then. I'll need a list, though, for the ones who will be attending this next year."
"I won't have them persecuted!" Severus stormed. "They're not evil, they've just been remarkably stupid! It's not too late for them!"
"I didn't mean that at all, dear," the mediwitch said gently. "I just don't want to uncover the Mark on them accidentally if they're in here for something else. You know I'm not like that."
Snape went pale, and bowed his head. "I didn't mean it," he whispered. "I apologize for my ill-temper."
Minerva would have been happier about this if she hadn't felt the Potions Master was withdrawing out of fear. Albus, I could smack you for saying what you did to Severus, or making him think you said it, anyway. He's surrounded by threats enough as it is. How dare you make him feel he's not safe here!
"Where do you put the slings, Poppy?" she asked. The mediwitch pointed to a drawer, then got out paper and a quill. Snape looked utterly miserable as he listed the names out loud and Poppy wrote them down.
McGonagall picked out several slings, not knowing which size would fit properly. Poppy took one and helped Severus position his arm properly while she got it on. "It's warm enough that you shouldn't wear heavy robes over this, and I'm sure Dobby will be happy to help you with dressing and such," the older witch said. "And don't forget about those hot baths. We'll talk about the test results later. Drink lots of plain water and catch up on your reading for the next week, and I'll look at your arm again then. Take this chance to get some rest. I'm supposed to buy a lot more potions this year anyway, so don't feel you have to overwork just to keep up." She soothed the fractious man down and sent him off.
Pomfrey sighed once Snape was out the door. "Well, that was a shorter tantrum than usual. Have a cup of tea with me?"
"Once I visit your excellent facilities," Minerva said. "Had close to a pot already with breakfast." After she was through, Poppy was waiting for her.
"I worry about that boy," the mediwitch said, pouring them both a cup. "But I was glad he cut himself off before going off on one of his rants. They're really not good for him."
"True. But I'm not sure the reason for that is a good one," McGonagall said. "You see, at the beginning of this summer Dumbledore had a chat with him, and wanted him to patch things up with Mr. Potter."
"Surely that would be a good thing. I'm sure you've heard Severus on the subject even more than I have."
"Oh, I agree. Snape could have done so much for Harry from the very beginning if he had wanted to." Minerva knew that she could have done more, too, and sometimes wished she was as warm a person as Sprout was. "I would be more happy, though, if Severus hadn't gotten the impression that his legal status might be threatened if he didn't change his mode of expression."
For a moment Poppy looked slightly blank as she worked it out. "But what's that got to do with—oh! That man! No wonder Severus has been so quiet lately. Of course he thinks he'll be punished if he shows any temper. I'll be the first to admit he needs what the Muggles call anger management, but making him afraid only causes him more problems, the way it did when we thought Moody was teaching here. No wonder he apologized so quickly. It's not a good thing if he can't trust anybody, Minerva. He must watch himself with the students when they're here as it is. I remember that horrible insomnia he went through when the Dementors and Remus were here. He should have gone to St. Mungo's with that dreadful crack he got in the head out in the Shrieking Shack. I cannot believe anyone would use Molibicorpus on someone with a head wound! I should have put a body bind on him to make him stay in bed, but he got away."
"It was good thing he did, since he was able to rescue the three students who gave it to him, along with Black," Minerva said. "He should have gotten the Order of Merlin for that alone, considering his experiences with Dementors, and Lupin out there in wolf form."
"I heard that the Headmaster offered it to him, only to have it disappear when Sirius escaped," Poppy said.
"Yes," McGonagall said, thinking about how that had happened. "Even though it certainly wasn't his fault that either Black or Buckbeak got away." She had a good idea how that had happened, too. Yet Severus was forced to be grateful to Dumbledore just for being allowed to stay out of Azkaban, no matter what he'd done for the Order, and Hogwarts, throughout the years. She felt a nice, warm fit of righteous indignation coming on. "I have half a mind to tell Albus what I really think about all this."
"Are you sure that would be a good idea?" Poppy asked as she refilled her cup and added both cream and sugar. "You know how Snape gets sometimes. The Headmaster might have said something perfectly harmless and he took it the wrong way. Besides, if Albus really did threaten him, it might not be a good idea for him to know that Severus has been complaining about it."
Minerva snorted. "We're not dealing with Umbridge. Albus tries so hard to be fair."
"We both know he doesn't always succeed, especially if it's Gryffindor versus Slytherin, round 300, and especially not if Harry is involved. You've complained yourself about Snape's attitude for years. It really is time that something was done about it, if only to help Severus resolve his own feelings. I just hope that the Headmaster is actually trying to make the situation better, and not blithely charging ahead thinking all will be well if Snape just changes his ways. I seem to recall how exasperated you were with Harry yourself last year."
"Don't ever quote me on this," McGonagall said quietly, "but Sirius was not an asset to the Order, nor much help to Harry, last year. The boy was twice as bad whenever he came back from visiting that house. I swear the place is cursed. I think it was easy for everyone to believe Black murdered the Potters because he'd already tried to kill Snape. Albus was heartbroken."
"I remember. Dumbledore was worried because he'd been behind expelling Tom Riddle. He thought if he could keep Black in school that he might learn better than what his family would teach him." The mediwitch looked sad.
"And we had written off Severus already, just like we have the Slytherins who joined last night," said McGonagall. "As it turned out, everyone was wrong. Snape came back to us, and nearly ended up Kissed in Azkaban for his trouble, and Black was actually innocent—of that, anyway. I loathed going to that house last year, Poppy, and I tried to avoid it as much as possible. I suppose we can blame twelve years in prison for what Black was like last year, but I just hated being around him. I cannot blame Snape for avoiding the man whenever he smelt of whiskey, either. I thought it showed more intelligence for people than we usually give Severus credit for."
"I was the one who told him to do that," Pomfrey said. "And I told Albus to let Snape leave as soon as possible after giving a report if Black was under the weather."
"Well, at least those idiot Marauders came to their senses after the Shack," Minerva said with a sigh.
"I wish I could be so sure of that. I caught Severus in here once in his seventh year, trying to treat himself. He wouldn't say who had done it, and laughed in my face when I told him to go the Headmaster. When I did, Albus said he couldn't do anything unless Snape told someone what happened. I'm afraid I thought about laughing the same way Severus did. I didn't see the boy in the infirmary again, but I left out supplies, nothing dangerous of course, and they tended to disappear. He might not have been the only one using them, of course, we had an interesting lot that year. But I don't think it was over. Remember, James Potter was Head Boy that year. Even if he didn't do anything for fear of Lily Evans seeing it, his friends were probably certain that they wouldn't get in trouble as long as they didn't actually kill Snape. You should sit down with Lupin some day. Maybe now that Black is gone he'll finally tell the truth."
"Severus has been quite a burden to you, hasn't he?"
"You should have seen him after he came back to us, or after Albus finally got him released from Azkaban. Since then I forget how many times he's been hurt, one way or another Usually it's a Potions accident caused by the one of the children. Till last year, anyway."
"I hate to pry—"
"No, you don't," Poppy said with a brief, wintry smile. "Let's just say that the information he brought us last year was dearly bought. I'm surprised that he's not on the same floor with the Longbottoms. I hate to think of how he'll be treated if he is. The staff at St. Mungo's don't like Death Eaters, you know. They're professionals, but they're still human."
Minerva decided not to bring up her speculation about Lucius Malfoy. "Then perhaps we ought to prepare a different refuge for our favorite Potions Master, should he ever become disabled. I hate to make such plans, but someone needs to. Albus seems terribly tired these days. Snape said he remembered a problem with the ink the Prophet used some years ago. Apparently it smeared more than it ought and had some unpleasant side-effects. Now that I think about it, I've noticed that his fingers are often smeared. I don't know if it's from his own correspondence or those endless new decrees from the Ministry. I'm just glad he's working with his windows open while the weather is nice."
The mediwitch seemed happy to move on to a different topic. "I'm worried about him, too. He was well enough when he first came back from vacation, but you're right, he does seem worn out. I'll go up and speak to him and see if I notice the smearing myself. Perhaps he ought to give a sample to Severus to analyze."
"Do you really think he'll get his arm back?"
"When the Dark Mark cools down, most likely. I think his mind just shut the feeling in his arm down when the pain became too great. He's also been using Dreamless Sleep quite a bit lately, so I'm not surprised he's seeing things. The bloodwork was quite thorough. I can't say I blame him for obsessing about Moody, either, especially if Albus has threatened Azkaban in any way. But I've given him two weeks not to worry about it, though I'm sure he will. He needs the rest in any case."
"How bad are those numbers on his analysis?" Minerva wondered about that.
"I will have to consult the chart to be sure. But he will have to get treatment, I'm quite certain of that. I can charm a copy of the study for you. I think you'll recognize the symptoms." Her lips thinned. "I don't like the prognosis if he continues to teach and brew without any intervention, but I won't go into detail with him unless I must. He's already a little too careless with himself."
"Then we'll have to make sure he's taken care of. He should see you every time he returns from a meeting," Minerva said. "He could easily overestimate himself, and Albus doesn't seem as watchful as he has in the past. In fact, I fear the Headmaster would prefer to be relieved of some of that burden," she added waspishly. "But I am the Deputy Headmistress, and I should take some of it myself."
"I think that's a good idea," Poppy said soberly, "especially if Dumbledore's health is also not as good as it has been. We keep forgetting how very old he is, and demand too much of him as well. I'm afraid that Snape ends up bearing the brunt of it."
McGonagall nodded, and stood. "I need to sit down and do some planning on paper," she said. "I am not quite ready to break out the multicolored ink the way Miss Granger did during her OWLs, but it may soon to get to that point."
"Oh, no! Not that!" Pomfrey said, holding one hand over her heart. Then she smiled. "Those poor men. They'll never know what hit them."
"That's what I'm hoping for," Minerva said as she left.
Poppy Pomfrey
Madam Pomfrey chatted with the gargoyle. Ever since she'd treated a nasty little lichen he'd once picked up she'd never needed a password. He finally admitted the Headmaster was back in his office and let her in.
Albus looked up and smiled at her through several pieces of paper. "I swear, Poppy, just looking at these things is enough to make me sick!"
"You might be right," Poppy said as she came in and sat down, glad the window was open. "I spoke with Severus this morning. He told Minerva that the Prophet had trouble with its ink once. It smeared instead of drying properly, and had an odd smell to it. On top of that, it made everyone in the office sleepy all the time. Are those ink-stains on your fingers? Perhaps the ink being used on these papers ought to be tested."
"Some of these are a bit damp. You'd think their decrees would be dry by the time the Ministry owls bring the packets here." Dumbledore gazed down at the sheet he was currently examining. "I am glad Snape came to see you, though. Is he all right?"
"His left arm is numb and paralyzed, though the Dark Mark burns so hot I could warm my hands on it," the mediwitch said. "He's got a strange story about sponsorships, and using the pillars to contact the students involved that sounded odd even to me. You ought to speak to him today if you can. I'm certain he's imagining the worst, though I really think his arm will recover when the Mark isn't reacting so much. If it weren't for his fear that he won't get use of it back, I think he's better off being spared the pain."
The Headmaster looked thoughtful. "I thought I felt some activity through the pillars myself last night, but I believed I was dreaming. He is the Head of Slytherin, after all. I simply thought that since he can't do a Patronus, never mind the Patronus Slytherin, that the pillar in his common room would never work for him."
"To be honest, I thought he was hallucinating from using too much Dreamless Sleep Potion," Poppy admitted. "But there's more. His blood test results came from St. Mungo's this morning. He also told me that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named got them last night. I really thought my friend there would be able to keep this quiet."
Dumbledore blinked. "This isn't good at all."
"Neither are the results. He must get treatment, Albus. His liver is still holding up. Fortunately he barely touches alcohol. But if this study is correct, he has only a few years before he becomes so ill he won't be able to teach at all. Before that, he'll become increasingly irritable and irrational, even for him."
"Isn't he quite young for this? I've seen Brewer's Bog before, and it's usually a problem for older wizards."
"He's also taught for longer than most of our Potions teachers, and became a Master much earlier in life than almost anyone in the Guild," Pomfrey pointed out. "Bellwood took a sabbatical every ten years, too, and that was without having to brew some of the things that Severus must. Our Potions curriculum is fairly advanced compared to other schools, one reason our students do so well on their OWLs and NEWTs. He was also exposed to a number of potions during his stay with the Ministry that have long term effects. Of course, given his condition when he was finally released, nobody was especially worried back then about such things. I don't even pretend to know what else he might be exposed to, either by ingestion or having to brew other potions, by way of his work for the Order."
The Headmaster looked abashed. "Do you think having to brew Wolfsbane will make it worse?"
"I have no idea. The Swiss started their work with the theory that there was a reason most potions masters and brewers were known for bad tempers. The team leader apparently has an older brother who fits the profile. They weren't expecting the physical changes at all, and ended up concentrating on those in their next series of studies. Ever since I've read their work I've been haunted by the idea that we may be penalizing Severus for something he can't help." Chew on that, Albus!
"How was he this morning?"
"He was upset, mainly over his students, but he apologized as soon as he realized I wasn't going to harass any of them."
"So he can control his temper when he wants to." The Headmaster looked smug.
"If this study is correct, he must make a far greater effort than most to do so," she said, trying to keep her own irritation in check. "Why not make sure this is taken care of? Then he won't have the excuse the Swiss have given him. I'm sure he's noticed this part of the study, or will quite soon." Poppy didn't understand Dumbledore's attitude. Maybe you really did threaten Snape with Azkaban over Mr. Potter. Oh, Albus, I really hoped it was just Severus being oversensitive again.
The old wizard bowed his head and sighed. When he straightened back up, he said, "I suppose you're right. As soon as his arm is better I'll make sure he goes to the clinic and gets a full examination. I hate hearing St. Mungo's is no longer safe. And I'm sure you're right about him assuming the worst." His face looked bleak. "I just get so angry myself when I think of how he's behaved around Harry for so long. I've given him one last chance. Since he is good with helping his students with their families, I offered him the opportunity to do what he could with the Dursleys. I haven't made much progress with them."
Snape dealing with Muggles? That was a twist. "You must dislike having to turn that over to someone else," she said. Pomfrey knew how fond the Headmaster was of the boy, and how distressed that Harry was treated so badly. Yet she'd rarely seen him fret over those with homes which were frankly far worse. She supposed it was because he was so old—a century ago the school was rarely involved in such matters unless physical harm was caused.
"I hate using fear," Dumbeldore said. "I hate using it on anybody. I didn't know what else to do. For all I know, the Dursleys will take theirs out on Harry, even with the Aurors checking on him. I…I wish I hadn't had to use it on Snape. You know how stubborn he can get."
"What did you tell Severus?" Were Minerva's suspicions correct?
"I..oh, damn, I wish I hadn't done it now. I suggested his legal position might be threatened. I tried to phrase it carefully, but I waved Azkaban in his face. On top of that, I laid a dream-sending on him so he'd know how badly Harry is treated in his gut. I've tried getting through to Snape other ways, but he wouldn't listen before."
Pomfrey struggled with a wave of anger. Well, that explained the Dreamless Sleep potion use. There were other ways of getting Severus to listen. If only Albus had admitted that Harry was a handful to begin with, that would have helped. But it was clear to everyone on the staff that trying to tell the Headmaster that anything could possibly be wrong with the boy was like shouting into the wind. She tried to choose her words carefully. Snape had shown everyone that raising one's voice didn't work. "You'll get the short term results that you want, I think. Severus is fighting hard to control his temper. I will admit, I don't know what he's been able to do for Mr. Potter or his family situation yet. However, the summer's barely begun. Right now Snape has ten students of his own who are in far greater danger. No doubt the other two will want to lean on him in a pinch, if only because they know him better than the er…others. Even young Mr. Weasley should know better than to depend on Mr. Pettigrew." Poppy took a deep breath. "Severus has done far more for you out of love than he ever will out of fear. When was the last time you spoke to him without criticizing him or mentioning Harry?"
The Headmaster blinked. "Why, last night. And he was the one who said we should owl Mr. Potter, in case the boy felt something through the scar."
"Did you tell him how much you appreciated what he does? Did you ask him if he had been injured? Did you ask him how his students were?"
Albus took a deep breath himself, clearly to protest, then stopped. "We…Minerva and I mainly talked about how surprised we were about Percy Weasley."
"I see." She let silence fill the room. "Did you even tell him that you appreciated his concern about Mr. Potter? After all, he was doing what you wanted."
"I told Minerva that I was happy he was looking after students besides those in Slytherin." He bowed his head a moment, then straightened up. "Damn it, Poppy, he's not a child! I shouldn't have to throw him a lemon drop every time he does a cute trick!"
"If he were really an adult, he could like or dislike a student without facing prison," Pomfrey said bluntly. "If he were really an adult, he could leave Hogwarts without the Ministry taking back custody. He could manage his own funds and not have to beg for an increase in his allowance. Albus, I know you've tried to make this yoke as light as possible to spare his pride. But don't you think he knows it's there, even before you put your foot down? Yes, you will probably get your way. Once Severus finds out what Harry's home is really like I don't see him ignoring the situation." Unlike you, Headmaster. How long have you known what the Dursleys were really like? "But in the long term…"
"Do we have a long term, Poppy? Any of us?"
"I hope so," said the mediwitch.
"Hope is not enough. I've already told a fifteen-year old boy that he will have to kill or be killed. If you think I'm using Snape roughly, think of what I've done to Harry. Neither one deserves this." He stood up and looked out the window. "Sometimes…sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to lay my burden down or have it slip from my fingers. I ask no more of them than I do myself. I'm frightened, Poppy. And these days I'm just so tired."
"I know," she said softly, now worried for the Headmaster as well. "But don't write off anybody, including yourself. We've had some lovely years before and after Grindelwald. Snape and Harry never have. They've been weapons in one hand or another through most of their lives. At least Harry has the Weasleys and his friends. But all Severus has ever had is you."
"Surely you, Minerva, Hagrid, and some others on the staff are his friends, too." He turned back.
"Yes. But you and Tom have all the power over him. Severus would bleed for Draco the way you would for Harry, but you're the only one he's ever really trusted. Are you sure that what you want is so important that you're willing to lose that?" She wished the Potions Master leaned on her more, but was glad for what she could get. It was silly for her to even imagine that Snape would ever let down his guard enough around anyone to see that people did love him. She thought the Headmaster was a fool for throwing what he had away.
Dumbledore sadly nodded, then sat down again. "We have so little time, Poppy. It seems quiet now, but it won't last. If Dementors can't keep prisoners in Azkaban, human guards hired by Fudge certainly won't. I do worry about Severus, especially now. Those new Death Eaters will give him a power base for now, but for how long? He may not be able to make the sacrifices necessary to keep his standing with Tom."
Madam Pomfrey hoped she misunderstood what she'd heard. "Is he right about Gryffindors being all too willing to sacrifice Slytherins?"
"I'm afraid so. Necessity is a cruel master. But it was two Gryffindors who died in Godric's Hollow when this all began, Cedric Diggory just over a year ago, and now Sirius Black. I have not stinted risking my Lions, either."
Poppy idly wondered if anyone had bothered to count the number of black boxes on the front of the Prophet that belonged to Slytherins or Ravenclaws, but decided this would be the wrong time to mention them. "It is hard," she contented herself with saying.
"And much of it my fault. I knew what was likely to happen if Harry became convinced someone he loved was in danger, and failed to take precautions. I hope and pray that Severus can bring some of his own back to us again. But he must be willing to harden his heart the way I've had to harden mine. I have dreams about the Grindelwald War all the time now, Poppy. The Wizarding World won't survive intact if so many die again."
"Oh, dear." She leaned over and patted his hand. "Get away from all this awful paper and let Severus test the ink. If there's something wrong with it, then we'll get it fixed. You need looking after, too, and no mistake about that!" How many mistakes was he making simply because he was ill? Poppy wanted to warn Albus that Snape's paralyzed arm could be a harbinger of things to come, but she saw now her words would fall on deaf ears.
"I will." Dumbledore smiled wanly. "Perhaps Snape isn't the only one being poisoned. One can only hope the Ministry is suffering, too. Let's both get out of here for right now." He rose and started walking out of the office, as Poppy followed. "If it's any consolation, I know I ask too much of Severus and I always have. I feel spread too thin to be any good to anybody. I've already heard from Minerva what she thought of me leaving all of you to Umbridge's tender mercies, but I…I don't know how to do everything."
"You're not getting the Time Turner," Poppy said fiercely.
"I wouldn't dare. Time is not my friend these days." They both went down the stairs and started towards the Great Hall. Albus spoke more quietly. "Some days I look in a mirror and I wonder if I've become what I'm fighting."
"Keep wondering. That's more than some like Moody do." She glanced around the hallways. "Where's Fawkes? I'm surprised not to see him around this morning."
"I don't know. He was trying to keep me out of the office earlier, and then took off." Dumbledore frowned as they stopped in front of the doorway to the Great Hall. "Maybe he thinks there's something wrong with that paper, too."
"Well, I'm glad you're out of there." And we're all fighting this war, Albus, not just you. Oh, how she wished she could bring everybody Tom Riddle's head and have it over with. Instead, she had to increase her stores of potions and bandages, and pray they wouldn't have to be used. I hope it's quiet this summer. We all need the rest. Sometimes she had chilling visions of her infirmary overflowing with wounded and dying children. I don't need a boggart to see that, she thought to herself. Someday I will be spread too thin, too, and people will die because of it. She got an idea. Some of the seventh and sixth years could at least learn the basics. Even if the Headmaster never let her have a formal class, she'd teach all she could during detentions. And I won't care what House they come from, either.
She sat down and Winky brought her tea. House elves? Well, why not? Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Madam Pomfrey enjoyed her meal and tea all the better for knowing the time would come when she'd be lucky to have a crust and a cuppa on the fly. Time to build up strength. Minerva might not be the only one who needed to do some planning.
