A/N: I'm sorry I took a break for a little while from this story. Lost my roll and thought it might have been done. But your wonderful reviews called me back and I thought about the story more this weekend, so here you go. At least a little more on the way for this story. I can't thank you guys enough for your encouraging words x


Chapter 7

Maura was stiff and formal, her words emotionless, as if this all had happened to another person, another victim. As if she wasn't the one who had experienced these horrible things.

Detective Vasquez and Morgan sat across the table, listening carefully to Maura's statement, nodding their heads encouragingly. Jane had been told she couldn't take Maura's statement herself, so she had picked two detectives who had been on the search and rescue team, and were more familiar with kidnapping and missing person cases. She trusted them the most outside of her people from homicide (who also were banned from interviewing Maura as they were too close personally). Vasquez and Morgan, knowing how important the case was to Jane, graciously let her sit with Maura as she told them what happened in detail. They had seen Jane at her most vulnerable when Maura was missing, her rush of anger and relief at finding Pallegro, Maura.

Jane hadn't wanted to sit there and listen to everything Pallegro had said and done to Maura, God, did she wish she could be anywhere else. But this is where she needed to be, by Maura's side, ready to protect and comfort. It was her job and she had already failed so badly at it. She couldn't fuck up again. She wanted Maura to feel as safe as possible when she relived this nightmare.

But while Maura was so scared she was practically shaking this morning, and had needed ten kisses and twenty long hugs before Jane could finally coax out the door and to BPD, she had been stoic and distant as soon as she walked into the building. She couldn't handle the sympathy clear as day on everyone's faces as she passed by them, the whispers, the obvious discomfort radiating from some, and the cold shoulder from others who would rather pretend she wasn't there at all. Jane had felt a rage burning up inside her at these reactions, but as she reached for Maura's hand to show her she was not alone in this, Maura had pulled away, crossing her arms.

"Is it unusually cold in here?" she had said, like the temperature was the only thing on her mind.

Jane had tried to ignore the stab of pain she had felt at the rejection. Maura was going through so much. And while Jane did her best in life by flying head first into things, emotional and full of anger, she knew that Maura felt she worked best with a clear head and a logical mind, pushing her feelings off to the was just her protecting herself. It wasn't personal. Jane thought all these things, and yet the sting was still there. She didn't want Dr. Isles right now, she wanted Maura. In a situation such as this, she didn't know how to handle Dr. Isles, who couldn't be comforted by love, but found safety in logic and statistics. Jane could barely make her brain function right now, let alone spout out facts on kidnapping cases.


As Jane sat and listened to the excruciating details of Maura's hours with Pallegro, she couldn't see past the emotions roaring through her: the rage at Pallegro and herself, the frustration that Maura had to do this at all, the need to protect Maura, the sadness and agony at all Maura went through.

"Jane was calling me when it happened. He just came up behind me and grabbed me. My phone dropped, I was fighting to break free, but I wasn't strong enough."

Jane wanted to hold Maura against her, and whisper over and over that she was so, so strong. Her words chilled her to the bone, but so did Maura's tone, and so despite her need to reach out to Maura, hold her hand, she pulled at her fingers in her own lap.

"There's a lot that I barely remember. I was disoriented from the kicks and punches he threw in my face, in my side, and the way he dragged me into his van was rough. It was dark, pitch black. It felt like we were driving a long time, but I'm certain it only felt like that because of the fear and the pain I was experiencing."

Jane rubbed at her eyes, trying to take away what she saw behind them: Maura hurt, and afraid and alone.

"I realized we stopped in a place people hardly ever came to because he was careless and barely hid me as he brought me into the storage unit. A lot of the time he left me alone, sitting on the floor, my wrists and feet bound. I tried to think of ways to get out, but my brain was overloaded with sensations. And I was stupid."

"Maur," Jane muttered, rubbing gently at Maura's back. This she wouldn't sit and listen to, Maura degrading herself. Maura flinched at the touch, ignored Jane, and continued.

Jane's hand recoiled like it had been burnt.

"I think he got bored kicking me while I was tied up, so he made it more interesting by untying me and throwing me around a bit, seeing if I could fight him. I hit my head hard on a corner table when he pushed me."

Maura ran her finger across the stitches on her forehead. She seemed far away, on another planet.

"He kept talking about Jane, making her pay. He said, I was so important to her, he knew it and he'd make her suffer. Like he did."

Jane's heart started racing. She felt her breath come more quickly. My fault, mine.

"I told him he wouldn't succeed. Jane was going to save me because she's the best there is. He laughed and punched me in the mouth. I stopped saying that, even though I knew it was true. Knowing that, remember it-that's how I held on."

Emotion had started to creep into Maura's voice. She shook her head and continued.

"Anyway, after awhile he started sharpening some knives, muttering what sounded like nonsense and playing with them. I was terrified, only guessing what he would do. The police arrived soon after."

Silence.

"There's nothing really else to say," Maura said, grabbing her bag, and walking out with simply a solemn nod to both men.

The two of them looked at Jane and she couldn't even manage to give them a smile in thanks.

She ran out, ignoring Korsak's voice behind her.


Jane caught up with Maura at the car. She was already sitting in the passenger's side.

Jane could tell by the way Maura carried herself, that Jane shouldn't say anything. She started the car instead, and slowly drove home, trying not to hear Maura's words at BPD echoing around her head. This was probably why she didn't notice until Maura grabbed her hand that Maura was crying.

Jane's heart lept and she pulled over as quickly as she could, parking behind a bakery.

"Oh, sweetheart," she said, as she quickly got out of the car and raced over to Maura's side. She knelt in front of her, hands on Maura's knees, and searching Maura's face with her eyes. "Tell me."

"I just…I don't. I want these feelings to be gone. But I'm always scared and it hurts and I feel insecure and like I'm falling apart, Jane," Maura got out. The tears were coming faster now, more like sobs. She hid her face in her hands, then looked up and grabbed Jane's hand again, holding it tightly. "Oh, Jane, please."

Jane felt tears fill her eyes at Maura pleading, the way she looked at Jane like she was the only hope left, when Jane was the one who got her into this mess in the first place. Jane wordlessly and tenderly pulled Maura out of the car and into her arms. They stood they're hugging, Maura crying into Jane's shoulder as she rocked her.

Then Jane guided Maura to the backseat of the car.

"Scooch," she said, as she slid in next to Maura.

"Okay, come here, baby," she said and held out her arms.

Maura curled up on the seat and buried her head into Jane's chest, trying to get control of her breathing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, shhh," Jane said, planting kisses on the top of Maura's head.

"I am, Jane, I just had to get through it like that, but I want you, I need you."

Jane understood and the tears came freely now. She held Maura close to her, rocking her.

"I know, Maur, I know. It's okay. I'm here. You're so strong, honey, and I'm right here."


I don't know, a little nervous about this chapter-let me know your thoughts. A special thanks to BB Reader, killie 64, misquotesanddeighthnotes, XBgamer94 for your kind words and inspiration!