Bottoms up

I start to talk after we all have a cup of coffee sitting in front of us.
My eyes are still locked on the hospital on the other side of the street though.
"GRID means Gay related immune deficiency. That's what AIDS was called in the 80's and 90's because they had no clue what it really was. In the early 80's a lot of gay men came to the hospitals with different infections that they should have easily been able to fight if they were healthy. AIDS is Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, so actually what happens after you get infected by HIV, human immunodeficiency virus. The men died of what was called GRID or Gay plague or even Gay cancer because no one really gave a fuck about what it really was since only homosexuals were affected, and, well, they deserved it, right?"

I try to calm down to finish my sentence.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Don't show your trembling fingers.
Too many memories and too much anger.
Inhale.
Time's have changed.
Exhale.
Sam wasn't angry or grossed out when he found out. Dean isn't going to be either. Right?

"The men, they died of those infections because the virus kind of kills your immune system, you know?"
Dean shakes his head. "How does it work? I guess we should know that, right?"
I nod. "So, when you get infected by HIV; which works via bodily fluids, mostly blood since the concentration in saliva isn't high enough to infect someone, and therefore via sex or the use of the same needle when taking drugs, which is why it stayed in the gay community for a while; the virus can stay dormant for up to 15 years. Untreated, that is. Nowadays you can stop the virus from progressing, there is still no cure, but you can keep it in the initial cells that it infected. But after a while, there's usually a big break out, as far as I can remember. Your body builds more and more viruses while trying to just replicate its own cells. And the viruses infect the T-cells which are crucial for our immune system. It's a beautiful virus, probably one of the best, because retro viruses go unnoticed for a really long time and can barely be treated since they are RNA-viruses and-"
Dean interrupts me, which is probably a good thing because I just started marveling about a virus that kills people all the time. "Okay, now you've lost me."
"Sorry," I take a sip of my coffee, "anyway, when it does break out, you're fucked. Without the T-cells, the rest of the immune system can't work efficiently and opportunist bacteria or viruses can infect you. Even cancer spreads or arises a lot more often. Your body can't beat the illnesses it used to get rid off real easy anymore, it can't even fight them. Those infections and illnesses are what is called AIDS, because HIV itself doesn't kill you. It just paves the way for other illnesses, such as pneumonia, the cold or a staph infection.
In the end stages, patients start losing weight and, well, just kind of fade away, depending on what it really is that killed them. A lot of patients have neurological or psychological illnesses in the end too. It might be a beautiful virus, that is even used to cure people, but the disease is horrible.
I looked up the vics on Facebook, and well, turns out that the two men were a couple. And the woman has a girlfriend, too. So, I'm guessing, the ghost kills homosexuals, maybe,... I don't know, but I was thinking, what if her husband died from it?"
"You mean, he had an affair with a man and got AIDS?" Sam picks up my thought.
I nod. "Yeah. And well, if it was an affair, then the wife probably got it too. It's not exactly a violent death, but it's a horrible one that she might feel, was not what she deserved."
"And now she's killing gay people because her husband screwed a guy?"
"Yes, Dean, perfectly summed up," Sam shakes his head at his brother.

I pull out my cell phone and scroll through a local online news paper, looking for deaths in the 80's and 90's. Thank Chuck they had someone, a poor intern probably, digitalize the old papers.
"Ha!" I exclaim and show them my cell phone. "Mr. Stein died in '83 and his wife died three years later. Only couple I could find. I looked up their patient files in the hospital's intranet. He died of pneumonia and Mrs. Stein didn't survive an Appendectomy which is a pretty simple procedure, even back then, but she caught an infection. Oh, and guess what!"
"What?" Sam and Dean say in unison, Castiel once again engrossed in knitting, his coffee untouched and probably cold by now.
"There was another guy, mid 30's, just like the Steins. Guess what he died off. Exactly. A cold. In June '83.
Cold, pneumonia, infection. Sound familiar?"

I smile and they do too. Always feels great to solve a case.

"Great. Let's go salt and burn her bones. Please tell me, she wasn't cremated?" Dean looks at me pleadingly.
"Nope," I shake my head, "she's buried at the cemetery, right next to her husband."
"Great," Dean winks at me, "good job, little one. Let's go back to the hotel and then, tonight, to the cemetery. I need a revenge in poker."
Sam and I laugh and we all go back to the Impala. Dean calls her Baby, I remember now. She was called his one true love in one of the online forums I've read.

I kick his ass once again.
Maybe I should feel bad, but, it's not exactly my fault that I can feel when someone's bluffing, right?
And seeing Dean grumpy and Sam smiling is kind of worth the bad conscience.

At 1 am Dean wants us all to leave, but Sam speaks up before everyone gets up and to the car.
"I, eh, I think, Amy should stay here."
"Why?" Surprisingly I'm not the one who asked, but Dean.
"Because," Sam looks at me, apologetically, "because AIDS really is a horrible death I do not wish to anyone, especially not to my niece."
So much for not telling my father yet.
"What do you mea-"
I don't let Dean finish his question. "I know the risk, but she could just as easily infect one of you three. And, by the way, she seems to be at the hospital, not at the cemetery. So, no biggie, right?"
"Amy," Sam says mildly. It makes me angry. That's the way you talk to a kid. I'm 18 and more importantly, I haven't been a kid for a long time. If I've ever really been one.
"Oh, come on! I solved this case! I think I should get to be there when her bones are burnt!"
"You know what I mean!" Sam is shouting too.
"Yeah, I do. But if she wanted to infect me she could have done so in the hospital already! Hell, maybe she has and we just don't know yet. So, either way, I can come with you!"
"Okay, stop!" Dean stands between his brother and his daughter and turns from one to the other, angry. "Everybody stop. Amy is right. And I'm not gonna turn into Dad and tell her what to do. The ghost is just as dangerous to her as it is to us."
"That's just it, it isn't." Sam sounds as if he hates what he is saying.

"What?" The smaller Winchester looks at me and I just shrug. "Oh. Oh."
Great.
I bite down on my lip which hurts a lot because it's still sore from when I made it bleed two days ago.
"Well, then there's no way you're coming. Sorry."
And just like that he's out of the door, Sam right behind him.
"We will be back soon," Castiel says before leaving too.

Just fucking perfect.
I fall onto my bed and start crying.
Dean reacted just the way I was afraid he would. Cold and...
He wanted me to come with them, but not anymore, not when I'm...

I lie there for about an hour, not moving, silent tears streaming down my face before I start worrying.
It's a simple salt and burn, they are the Winchesters and they have an angel helping them. They shouldn't be away for that long.
Grabbing my phone and one of the keys, Sam left both, I walk in the direction of the cemetery. After a few steps, I start running.

God, I miss running. It was more fun in the woods back home than here on a road in the middle of the night, but still.
It feels almost like what I think flying feels like.
Back home I used to run a lot so it doesn't take me long to get to the cemetery and I'm not out of breath when I arrive.

I don't go around the last corner of the road though, rather staying behind some bushes, because I hear voices and the sounds of a fire.
So they did burn her.
Why haven't they left?

"-really think that?" Dean sounds upset.
"Well, Dad certainly did, and you, well, we've never talked about this," Sam tries to calm his brother down.
"I'm, I'm not, God, do I really have to defend myself for this? I didn't want her here. I don't want her in danger. But like I said, I'm not going to turn into Dad and tell people, tell my daughter, what to do and what not. So I was willing to let her come here with us, it was a simple salt and burn, as boring and UN-dangerous as it can get. But not when the ghost who has killed three people- that we know of!- is out to kill people like her!"
"People like her? See, that's what I'm talking about!" Sam gets upset too. I don't know if I should step in or not, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't. My legs don't listen to me right now, my whole body doesn't.
"That is not what I meant, Sam! Come on, you know me!" I manage to take a few steps so that I can see them, leaned against the hood of the Impala, Castiel standing in front of them, his head tilted to one side, listening.
"She was in more danger than we were, it would have been stupid to let her come with us! I don't want her to get hurt. Sammy, she is 18 years old. 18 years that I wasn't there, I couldn't keep her safe. And now she's here and she's been with us for less than three days and already we found something that wants to kill her.
Sammy, I don't want her to get hurt, I don't... I can't..." Dean stops. I think he's crying, but I'm not sure since I can't see him because I am crying.
"Dean-," Sam doesn't say more. He just grabs Dean and hugs him.
"I wasn't there for her and now... Now she's here, and she's gonna get hurt, Sammy, she's gonna-"
"No! You hear me, Dean, she won't get hurt. I won't let that happen and neither will you or Cass. We'll keep her safe, okay?" Sam lets go of Dean and goes to the driver's seat. "Come on, let's go pick her up."

When they get into the car I try to say something, but I can't. So I just stand there, in the middle of the road.
Sam slams the brakes when the car's light touches me.
Slowly I stumble forward, just two or three steps and then I regain control of my body and run to the car that was headed in my direction. I open the door behind Dean and slide in on the back seat.
" I... I was getting worried, so I... I came here."

No one says a word as we drive back to the motel.
I open the door and we all go inside, everyone sitting at the same places as this morning.
Dean leaves and comes back a few minutes later, an old green cooler in his hands. None of us spoke while he was gone.
I can hear the bottles rattle against each other when Dean puts the cooler down next to the table and pulls out a beer, gives it to Sam, gets one for Castiel and another one for himself. He's about to close the lid again when I lean forward and pull one out for me.
They stare at me.
"What?"
"You're 18. Not 21."
"Yeah, I know. I've been drinking beer for more than four years now. Besides, I don't get drunk unless I drink like, three six-packs." I shrug and open the bottle.
"Cass too. I've seen him drunk once, after he drank a whole liquor store," Sam laughs.
"It was no pleasant experience," Castiel says and takes a sip from his bottle.
Now Dean's laughing too and I have to smile. I know that both our eyes are red and swollen but I choose to ignore it. We completed a hunt, we get to drink some beer and be happy, no matter what else happened today.

I take a swig of my beer and flinch.
"Too strong?" Dean is laughing.
"No," I say, "but I guess it's true what they say. American beer is like having sex in a canoe."
They look at me, confused.
"Fucking close to water!" I laugh and take another swig. Seriously, they call that beer?
"Hey! Don't insult my beer!" Dean tries to take my bottle away but I'm faster than him.
"I'm sorry, but I grew up in Germany, you know, where beer was invented!"
Now they're laughing too, the problems of the day and everything that happened slowly fading into the background.

A few beers later Dean takes out the cards.
"Really? You want me to kick your ass again?"
"No," Dean shakes his head so hard he almost pours beer everywhere, "no, because this time, I'm drunk. So I'm a lot better. I am going to kick your ass!"

We played poker until the sun rose again. Castiel had lost about two hours in and around seven, when it dawned, Sam gave up too so we stopped.
Both Sam and Dean were exhausted from a night of drinking, the hunt and also all the emotions I could still sense in them, so they went to lie down for a while, Castiel thankfully following Dean into their room.
When Sam falls asleep I pull out my textbooks and study a little. I really do want to go back to school so I can't lose whatever little I've learned in the few months I spent at university.

Just two hours later Dean and Castiel come back over and we pack our stuff and sit back into the car.
This time Dean doesn't play the music as loud as when we drove from Kansas to Wisconsin because Sam is sleeping on the passenger's seat.
Since we're not hunting anymore, I guess I can sleep a little too. I lean my head against the window, similar to how Sam is sitting in front of me.
Slowly I look around in the car. The leather is old but well taken care off. There are some scratches in the frame on Castiel's side of the backseat and something crammed into the ashtray. Under Sam's seat is a carton box filled with even more cassette tapes than the ones in the front. One of them says Dean's favorite Led Zeppelin songs and another one Sam's stupid history podcasts. I have to smile and turn my head to look outside.

The landscape flies by us. Somehow it looks weird because it's different than back home, but it also looks so right.
And, anyway, what even is home anymore?
I doubt I have one right now.

Hey Guys:)
Thanks so much for everyone who's following this story, I love getting the notifications about it;)
Okay, so I have another two chapters already pretty much done and about a hundred I already know the plot of but I'm not sure how to connect them all, plus school started last week, so updates might take even longer than before, sorry for that.
But I kind of like Amy and am really looking forward to seeing where she might end up:)