When it's time to say goodbye, you can no longer face the lie. John wrinkled the paper in his hands furiously. He was sitting in the front seat with his knees cradling the dashboard as Ben drove and Michael navigated towards the airport. He was full from the party at the diner and dreading the what ifs of if Devon double crossed him, considering that he was already an hour and a half ahead towards London.

"Woah there, John. Don't tear up something like that without letting us see first."

John shook his head in Ben's direction. "I only tear up if I know it's no good."

Michael's reach snatched the paper before John could pocket it. "Would you let us be the judge of that, Priest?"

John turned his head as Michael scanned the fraction of a verse. "Hey, we don't use my super alter ego on this plane of existence, Zeph."

"Zephyr." Michael emphasized his character's full name. "Zephyr. It's an er sound like louder or madder..."

"Or dumber?" John ventured.

Ben sighed as he changed lanes. "Now boys, don't make me....," Ben thought for a second about John, "turn this car around."

Michael nodded, his eyes sparking. "We'll be good."

John scoffed as he snatched the paper back from Michael, securing it deep inside his carry-on duffel bag. "Speak for yourself."

"Well, now," Ben began to caution, "I'd be careful about that until you've gotten the layout of the land. It's not going to be like America."

"I know. But if Ontario is any indication..." John smirked.

Michael nodded. "Well, gay seems to be pretty universal. Just know the country, considering most of them don't even get parades."

John went silent for a moment, sitting back in his seat. "I know."

Ben shook his head, talking to John from the corner of his eyes. "I'm not sure you understand the scale of oppression. We just don't want to see you do anything too risky."

John shrugged. "I'll stand up for what is right."

Michael smiled. "Perfect answer. And turn left into short term parking, Ben. Crap, you remember the quarters?"

John rummaged through one of the zipped compartments, holding a ziploc baggie. "I got them."

There were waves of silence that accompanied aimless small chatter. Parts of the time in various lines, John shoved his nose deep into his copy of Britain for Dummies. His stomach wasn't holding food yet, but he was resilient enough not to throw up when Michael bought a slice of Sbarro pizza for him, the stuffed meat trio he loved, as a beautiful gesture of friendship.

The great thing about Michael was that he knew when to bow out as well. The flight hadn't been called yet and John knew he wasn't going to get a perfect movie moment. He was impatient to be at his gate, impatient to not say goodbye and very afraid. He shivered, his core moving violently in wanton waves of missing Ben and Michael already. A little Emmett voice in his mind told him that it would always be that way. That he would always have a connecting flight. He ached for simpler days of simply denying his sexuality, but knew much better of himself.

"So..."

"So." Ben replied with a sort of finality. He stood directly in John's line of vision and John was not slouched, just barely bending upwards to make contact with Ben's eyes.

"I'm gonna go grab a copy of..." Michael disappeared, but they had already said goodbye and John knew, somehow knew, that he would see Zephyr again. After all, Priest was a good friend and a great ally in the fight for tolerance and fucking. At that moment, John had the desire to reach up and brush away one of the bangs that swept Ben's brow.

"Are you nervous?"

John blinked at Ben a moment before answering. "My stomach's flipping pancakes at the diner, Ben. But that's not why I'm nervous."

"What then?"

John watched the rotation of the escalator from the corner of his eyes for a moment. "You know why."

"This trip will do wonders for you."

John grimaced. "It occurs to me that the things that often do the wonders for me are the ones that hurt the most."

Ben chuckled. "Only you could make a trip to work in London out to be a pessimistic character building activity."

"And you sound like Calvin's dad after a day of bike riding, Ben." There was a silence amidst the travelers. John took advantage of the moment to look down at his bag and look back up at Ben.

"Perhaps you should just start walking. I get the feeling you'd stall here all day if you could."

John laughed with a sort of tear mingled in. "You're right. But there is one more thing I need to do."

"I'm not going to kiss you in the middle of the terminal." Ben stated with a half-hearted smile.

John began to laugh in return. "Damn it, I'm trying for waterworks here, Ben. Stop trying to make me feel better."

"I make no promises."

John's face fell blank for a moment as he opened his back, rummaging with his hands. "No, you never did. But I kept one I made to myself."

"Oh?" Ben's eyes traveled John's body down towards the bag as the present sprung forth.

Ben took the package, slightly confused, as John smiled. "So? Open it."

It took Ben a moment to register that it had been shifted from the bag into his hands. "John, you didn't have to..."

"I know. But no one buys a gift because they have to. They buy because they want to or need to and it was a mixture of both for me."

"What is it?" Ben turned the slightly heavy object in his hands, the silver paper with blue ribbon crinkling around the edges.

John scoffed. "I'm not telling you everything. But I know how much this new unity with Michael in your life means to you. And I know that living together now, you'll need a whole bunch of stuff to display together to make your own memories as a couple."

Ben blinked and then gasped slightly at the mirrored, frosted Japanese letter lying elegantly in the center of the paper. It sparkled in the reflection of the clean, open airport space they stood in. John continued to speak. "I found it while I was with Emmett at one of our boot sales and I thought that it just sang out to me."

"It's perfect."

"Like you two are." John's eyes fell, resigned.

Ben used a free hand to cup John's chin. "Hey, he is out there somewhere."

"But what about the one I'm leaving behind. Who'll take care of him?"

Ben could only think of one way to respond. The kiss was shocking in its openness. Ben and John had been protecting themselves against emotions regarding each other. But the truth was that they were in love in some way, just not the kind of true and filling love that Ben and Michael possessed. In that moment, Michael's hand as a presence was on John's shoulder saying goodbye as well. In that moment, he was kissing a ghost from his birthday weekend. In that moment, John held onto his knees as Ben, his aloof figure of love, was close enough to touch.

They did not break for many moments, simply trying to say something that neither quite knew what to say. John gave himself the chance to have this chance to live and love and experience somewhere without a safety net. But it was what he was giving to Ben that was more important to them both. The kiss was a blessing, a final goodbye to something that could not change that which should always have been.

John trembled as they broke apart. "Wow. I won't find that in London."

"It's a big city on a big island." Ben took a moment. "John, never forget that I love you. No matter what, that ...."

John shook his head, his finger running over Ben's lips. "No, please, finish that sentence and I will begin to cry. Somehow, you swept in and filled the holes in my heart and now I'm....God, I love you Ben Bruckner. You'll always be him, no matter how many others there are." Together, Ben and John understood the sentence he could not bring himself to say yet again. But I'm so glad you and Michael have each other because I love him to.

Ben whispered, his head hung low. "You'll have to go up those stairs now."

"Yeah, before we turn more Casablanca than we already are."

John picked up his bag, turning once more when he reached the top of the escalator. He turned to wave, a sad and slow movement of his wrist. Michael's body was in the same space as Ben again and they waved together. Inside, John realized that this was how it would always have been. Part of him cracked but another part smiled deeply.