A/N: Thank you all so much for your suggestions! You guys gave me so many 'light bulb' moments that I'm pretty sure that I know how I'm going to end this story, which has me pretty pumped (don't worry, we still have a few chapters to go before we get there!).
Emma had been having a lovely dream about sipping margaritas on a cruise ship when she felt sand hit her face and heard an Irish lilt drawing her from her unconscious state. Grumbling, she dragged her brain to reality, whimpering slightly as the fake warmth of the dream faded. She looked up to get a glimpse of her first murder victim and growled at the sight of Graham's bemused smile.
"Rise and shine, love!" His cheerfulness was exceedingly grating, so she threw a fistful of sand at his face.
"Now that was uncalled for." Graham scolded, mostly unruffled by her reaction. He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up. After all, he was already dead; it wasn't like her death glare could actually do anything to him.
Emma shoved him away. "What do you want now? Every time you show up, my life just gets worse."
Graham ignored the barb. "I'm here to check up on you. Did these past few dates meet your requirements for confidence?" He grinned at her scowl.
"When I said that I wanted someone with confidence, I meant someone who was also sane. Do you really think someone as attached to reality as me would ever end up with a psycho?"
"Well, they do say that opposites attract and all that, but I suppose I could change it up."
Emma became suspicious of his change of attitude. "Yeah, because that worked so well the last time. I don't know what you're getting out of this, but I want out."
Graham sighed. He really should have been used to her stubbornness by now, but the more of a fight she put up, the more he wanted to mess with her. Suddenly, an idea sparked, and he smiled slowly. "Sadly for you, it doesn't work that way; you have to follow the rules. But, since I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you back your normal clothes and sober you up a bit if you actually give your next date a chance."
The offer was tempting, and both of them knew it. They stared each other down until Emma finally relented. "Fine, fine! I give up! I will go on the next date and try to give him the respect he deserves."
"Wise decision. Have fun!" Graham waved his arm toward her, and Emma was engulfed in a golden light. She looked down at herself as the red fabric slowly morphed into her blue jacket and jeans. The pounding in her head also seemed to recede. Reveling in her sudden comfort, Emma looked back up, but she was no longer on the beach. Instead, she was in the children's park, the one with the hazardous-looking, spiky playground that did not even have swings. So, overall, not a very nice park whatsoever.
Emma did not have long to wonder why she was there before she heard a greeting called out in a familiar Italian accent. Turning around, she saw Marco walking toward her, swinging hands with little Pinocchio.
Emma groaned internally as she waved at the approaching twosome. She didn't know which would be worse: going on a date with Marco (who had to be old enough to be her grandfather) or playing with Pinocchio (whom she still could hardly accept as being a child version of August).
Pinocchio broke away from Marco and ran toward the playground. Marco just smiled fondly at him then turned to Emma. "He's such a good boy. I don't know what I would do without him." He sighed. "Well, I guess I'll be off, then." He turned to leave.
"Hey, wait!" Emma grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. "Are you really just going to leave your ten-year-old son here on a date? Wouldn't that make me a pedophile or something?"
Marco chuckled, much to Emma's chagrin. "If we were back in our land, his age would not matter. Besides, I trust you to keep him safe." With that, he was off again.
Emma just gaped at his retreating form. How was she supposed to deal with this? She didn't know anything about playing with other people's kids, especially kids that used to be hot guys in leather jackets. Mentally yelling at Graham for being the worst dating service on the face of the planet, she went to go find Pinocchio.
The boy himself was sitting at the top of the slide, working up the nerve to slide down. He had never been good at listening to the Blue Fairy's instructions about being brave, and this time was not any different. He gulped and looked around. Seeing that Emma was watching, he forced down his fear and let gravity take its hold. He reached the bottom and beamed up at her.
Emma smiled back at him sadly. Looking at his incredibly young face reminded her of the fact that she had lost yet another friend, and it made her want to retreat back into her loner self.
Pinocchio wasn't fooled by her smile; he recognized the look of sadness in Emma's eyes and wrapped his arms around her waist, trying to comfort her for whatever had caused her emotional shift. Emma nearly broke down, tears coming to her eyes as she returned the hug and kissed the top of his head. Too soon, she pulled away. Crouching down, she grabbed Pinocchio's shoulders and looked him in the eyes.
Failing to find what she was looking for, Emma quickly got up and started to walk away. Feeling Pinocchio's eyes on her back, she whirled around and was suddenly struck by an idea. "You know what, Pinocchio? I think this is the perfect opportunity to do something right, for once."
Emma closed her eyes and concentrated. She could feel the warmth spreading throughout her body, felt the pull of something deep within herself. She held out her hand, knowing that Pinocchio would take it, out of curiosity if nothing else. The moment the pull began to give, she opened her eyes.
Pinocchio was more than a little concerned when his skin began to emit a golden glow, yelping in surprise. He wanted to pull away from Emma, but an inner voice urged him to wait, that everything would be all right. Mustering up every ounce of his courage, he allowed the magic to take its hold.
Emma watched in wonder as the little boy morphed back into the man she had so missed. August gasped as he looked around, his consciousness slowly settling back in. He pulled Emma into a hug, speechless at what she had done, and swung her around. He danced away and laughed, a great, big, I'm-so-happy-to-be-alive laugh. He grinned and stuttered out, "Thank you, Emma! You have no idea- I mean- just- thank you!" He laughed again.
Emma giggled and smiled at August's overwhelming joy. She was relieved that he seemed to actually have wanted to return to manhood. She had to know for sure, so she asked, "So, you're really okay with what I did to you?"
"Okay? I am beyond ecstatic! I am happier than Happy at happy hour! You really have no idea how thankful I am to not have to go through puberty again! I mean, if Neal didn't want to go back to fourteen, why would anyone think that I'd be okay with being a child again? I wouldn't be me if I didn't have my experiences of this world, no matter how awful they were." He grinned and swung Emma around again.
"I'm just glad you're all right. I wasn't sure if you'd want your old life back."
"Emma, I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it: thank you. Besides, now I actually look old enough to be Marco's son instead of a grandson. But if you are feeling bad, you could always magic my motorbike back." He winked at her.
Emma rolled her eyes, but she figured this was kind of like a birthday, so, summoning that burning light, she stretched out her hand, and August's motorcycle materialized on the side of the road.
August gasped in shock. He had been joking; he had not really expected her to be able to do that.
"What, transforming you into an adult isn't a surprise, but summoning a bike, that's what has you shocked?"
"I thought the aging thing might have been your curse-breaking powers or even a fluke; this is proof that you really can use magic!"
Emma laughed at his flabbergasted expression. "Well, are you going to take me on a ride or what?"
August recovered and flashed her another grin. "Oh, you're on." He strapped on his helmet while she put on hers. He started the engine, and they were off. They zoomed around Storybrooke's limited countryside, just enjoying each other's presence and the feel of the wind whipping past. The sensation came to an end, though, when they completed their loop and reached the park again.
Getting off the bike, Emma suddenly panicked when she saw Marco leaning against a tree, glaring at her. She heard August swear under his breath then call out, "Hey, Dad."
Marco furiously stomped over to them, shouting, "What did you do!? Is this how you take care of children, turning them into adults behind their parents' backs!? You had better fix this, or I'll get the Blue Fairy to fix you!"
August tried to come to the rescue. "Wait, just stop, Dad. It's all right; I wanted to be an adult again. I know you don't like that you missed out on most of my childhood, but that's the price you paid to keep me safe. Don't take this out on Emma," he pleaded.
Glancing between the two of them, Marco let out what were probably some pretty terrible curse words in a foreign language and grabbed August by the arm, tears streaming down his face. August cast an apologetic glance at Emma and allowed his father to lead him away.
Emma leaned back against the bike, wondering whether doing the right thing for August had been worth the cost. Before she could come to a conclusion, Graham popped into existence right in front of her.
"Good job, Emma. I set you up on the least harmful date ever, and you go and try out your magic on him." He smirked at her glower. Oh, how enjoyed teasing her, taunting her into actually living her life. It was hard for him, being dead and seeing someone so alive just wasting her time.
"Well, I think I did right by him. He should never had had to lose his identity like that."
"I know, and I secretly think you're right. But I don't think Marco will see it that way." He pulled Emma away from the bike and looked her over. "I have one last date for you, and don't worry; it's not with Marco. I'm not that mean." Emma glared at him again. "I don't think I could even find any more men for you; you're too picky, and they're intimidated by you. Don't know why that'd be." Double-death glare at the sarcasm.
Graham flicked his wrist, and a black bag appeared in his hands. He handed it to Emma. "Here, take this with you. Just walk down that path in the woods. You'll know when you're there. Enjoy your last one!"
Emma opened her mouth to say something, but Graham was gone in a flash. She tried to open the bag (about the size of a shopping bag and incredibly heavy), but could not. A note appeared on the zipper, reading, "Not until it's time". She wanted to complain, but she was more concerned about the fact that her night was coming to a close. Sure, she was excited for the dates from hell to be over with, but she did not want to have to make a decision on a love interest. So far, all of the men had been rather disappointing, and Emma hated having to commit herself to just one. She pondered her upcoming choice as she walked down the dark and creepy path into the unknown.
A/N: I think this show might seriously be trying to murder all of the fans' most beloved Emma ships, especially now that WoodenSwan is kinda pedophile-ish. Stupid writers, destroying all of our eye candy!
Did you like the bittersweet moment between Emma and Pinocchio? I know, it isn't really in tone with the rest of the story – it got much more emotional than I intended – but I could picture it so clearly in my head, and I just had to do it. Besides, August isn't really a comic relief character, anyway.
