WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.
Chapter Six.
Dawn broke the sky, and a sudden realization hit me like a truck. I forgot to do my patrol! Fuck!
Really Embry? You stupid piece of shit, you let your anger get the best of you. You ruined everything.
Sam was probably fuming right now. Without another thought, I ran out the back door and into the woods. I yanked off my clothes, careful not to rip any, and phased.
"Well, look what we have here. Patrol skipper." Sam teased as he felt me phase in, and Jared laughed with him. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind after the shit that went down with Jake."
"No need to apologize, it was covered."
"What, by who?"
"Quil. He caused unneeded drama in the pack, so he has to face the consequences." My heart stopped its incessant pounding, and I felt myself start to relax. "Speaking of unneeded drama, you and Bella, huh?"
"Heh, yeah. It just sort of happened."
"You sure she feels the same way?" My mind instantly flooded with what happened last night when I had picked her up, and then the ordeal with Charlie. "Fuck, so you're living at the Swan's now."
"Yeah, but don't tell anyone. Can we keep it between us guys?"
"Of course. Jared, you think you can keep a secret?"
"No prob, bob. You know you're my favorite wolf cub."
"We're starting to sound like a sorority house," Sam said with a fake gag, and we all laughed. "Embry, go on back to the Swan's and get ready for school. And drop by my house afterward, Emily and I have something to give you."
"Awe, and it's not even my birthday."
"Bye Embry."
"Bye, guys!"
With my clothes pulled back on, I slipped into the house and went to work making breakfast. Today was Monday, one of the worst days in all of existence, and to show my appreciation I would make them breakfast. Cheesy scrambled eggs, toast, and some bacon. Not very fancy, but it would do the trick and fill up their stomachs until lunch.
Charlie was the first to wake up, trudging downstairs after his alarm went off. When he entered the kitchen, his eyes widened.
"What's all this?"
"I just wanted to tell you guys thank you for, you know, everything you've done for me."
"You didn't have to do all this."
"I wanted to." I motioned for him to sit down before serving. "Enjoy!"
"Thank you, son."
"Embry?" I turned around with a nervous laugh as Bella came through, a small smile on her kissable mouth. "You didn't have to do this for us."
"Bella, he wanted to. Come on, sit down and enjoy."
"Yes, just enjoy the food, baby." With a roll of her eyes, she sat down in her chair and grinned as I served her a plate full of food. Since that first night, Bella had been eating nothing but comfort food for breakfast and dinner, and it was putting much-needed meat on her bones. As I sat down in my plate, I swallowed as I caught sight of her cleavage in the opening of the flannel she had slept it.
Old Quil in a bathing suit, Old Quil in a bathing suit, Old Quil in a bathing suit.
I grimaced at the image, but the problem in my pants thankfully stayed down.
"So, Bella, I forgot to ask you how dinner went at the Weber's?" Almost immediately her fork dropped to her plate with a clatter, and she looked sick to her stomach.
"Honey, did something happen?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"If something happened, we need to know so we can fix it, right Embry?" He glanced in my direction and I nodded.
"Yes. Baby, please tell us."
"It's stupid."
"Nothing that bothers you this bad could be stupid." I leaned out to hold her hand, rubbing the back of it with my thumb. "Please tell us."
She looks down at her plate and takes in a deep breathing before speaking. "Someone told my personal information to Angela's parents, and her dad started asking me questions."
"What kind of questions did he ask you?"
"Why I tried to kill myself…"
"He did what?" Charlie questioned angrily, and Bella took another deep breath.
"He was talking to me like I was an idiot, asking me, what do you have to be sad about? You're a teenage girl with no problems. I felt horrible."
"We're taking legal action over this."
"What, why?"
"It's against the law to leak someone's personal information. I assume your therapist told you about doctor-patient confidentiality, right?" Bella nodded, and a few tears leaked out of her eyes. I felt like running to the Weber's and decking that asshole, but I held in my temper. Hitting someone wouldn't solve anything, especially for Bella.
You would be in the back of a police cruiser, and where would she be? Alone.
"Did he say who it was?"
"He said she worked in the office." With shaky movements, she slipped from my grasp and stood up from the table. "I'm going to go get ready for school."
"You don't want to finish eating?"
"I'm not that hungry anymore." She turned to leave the room and quickly went upstairs. Charlie and I exchanged a look before he nodded.
"I'll pack up your breakfast, so you can heat it up later." In a flash, I was out of the room and up the stairs.
On the other side of the door, I could hear Bella crying. I tried to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge.
"Baby, let me in."
"Go away."
"You know I won't do that." When she didn't answer, I continued to speak. "If you don't open this door I'll break it down."
"I'm naked."
"You're lying. Come on, please open the door." She sniffled but didn't answer. "Bella, please." A few minutes later the door swung open, and her wide, blood-shot eyes met mine.
"I don't like it when you call me that."
"Call you what?" Biting her lip, she turned and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Bella."
"Did I just hear you correctly? Bella Swan wants me to call her baby?" I closed the door and sat down next to her. She ignored me, pouting her lip and fiddling with the edge of her flannel. "Come on, pouty. I know you love it."
"Get out of here, cheesehead."
"Who are you calling a cheesehead?" In seconds I was tickling her sides, running my long fingers over the fabric of her shirt. Bella tried to bite her lip and hold in her laughter, but as I continued my assault she burst into a fit of giggles. Instead of tears of pain, now tears of happiness ran down her cheeks, and I couldn't but laugh with her.
"Stop, p-please! I'm sorry!"
"Call yourself a cheesehead."
"What? No!" She tried to wrestle out of my arms to no avail. "Stop, Embry!"
"Say it!"
"Never!"
"Say it, baby!"
"Fine! I'm a cheesehead!"
"What was that? I couldn't hear you that well."
"Embry, seriously!"
"Okay, okay. You win." When my fingers stilled, she wheezed in my arms and smiled up at me. We stayed that for a while, her wide, chocolate eyes almost staring through me.
"Thank you, Embry."
"For what, sweetheart?"
"For just being you." With a breathless laugh, she pulled my face to hers and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.
It felt like heaven had opened its gates and dropped its best angel in my lap.
Bella's POV:
The lunch table was still split; one side that accepted me back, while the other tried to ignore my presence as best they can. It was hard to ignore, but I tried my best as Angela informed me of the game night that her friend Riley was planning. We didn't speak of dinner, or of her coming out. I had a feeling that I was the only one that she had told.
"She used to go to school with us before she moved to Seattle, but we only get together every now and then because she's always busy with her new friends."
"Do you think she'd mind if I came?"
"Not at all, I've told her about you already. She's been wanting to meet you for a while."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you both have a lot of similar interests. I think you both would hit it off."
"Riley and Bella?" Lauren guffawed. "Yeah right."
Jessica nodded in agreement. "No offense, Bella, but Riley's sort of-"
"Cooler, sportier…" Her voice took on an icy tone. "Prettier."
"Hey, Bella's pretty too!"
"Yeah, but-"
"I agree with Angela. Riley may be gorgeous, but Bella is too." Mike cut in after swallowing the last bite of his sandwich. He sent me a kind smile and I returned it.
I took a sip of my water bottle before answering. "Thank you."
"Yeah, Mike. Thank you." Jessica bit out before standing up and leaving, followed by Jessica. Mike just rolled his eyes and stood up to follow them both, no doubt having to calm the jealous girl's nerves.
The rest of us ate in silence until the bell rang, and then Angela and I walked to class together.
The day felt like it was taking forever, no matter how much I wished it end.
I only hoped Embry's was turning out better.
Embry's POV:
The school day seemed to drag on forever, especially with Quil sending me dirty looks and Jacob attempting to talk to me. I stuck to Paul's side most of the day, and then we walked together to Sam's.
"So, you and the leech lover, huh?"
"Mhm."
"I'm surprised Jake didn't kick your ass."
"Leah would probably kick his first."
"True, true." He paused for a second before continuing. "How'd it happen?"
"I went to see if she was alright, and the rest if history." My mind flooded with our make out session this morning, and my cheeks reddened. Paul looked over and burst into laughter before punching my shoulder.
"His loss, your gain, right?"
"Hell yeah." Our conversation ended when we walked through Sam's door, and Paul ran to the kitchen. I sat down next to Sam on the couch, leaning back with a grunt of exhaustion.
"Long day?"
"You could say that." Emily entered the living room and handed me a glass of sweet ice tea before disappearing again. I gulped half of it down before taking a deep breath. "What did you guys want to give me."
"Well, you know how I finally got my motorcycle fixed?" I nodded and he continued. "I don't get to use it that often, and what with your situation, Emily and I decided that you should have it."
"What?" He was giving me his motorcycle?
Was I dreaming? I pinched myself and hissed at the pain.
"You're not dreaming, you idiot." Sam sighed before handing me a key. "She's all yours, just take care of her. And drive safe."
Emily yelled from the kitchen with authority. "There are two helmets out there with your name on them.
I felt my eyes fill with tears, and I quickly blinked them away and coughed into my hand.
It was great to have people care for my wellbeing for a change.
"You better hurry home and finish your homework. Remember, you have patrol at nine!"
"Don't skip again, asshole! If I have to deal with Quil's stupid ass again, I'm going to tear his throat out!"
I laughed and stood up, slipping my backpack on both of my shoulders. "I'll be there, don't worry."
The motorcycle was parked on the side, with black helmets on it. I slid one into my backpack before putting the other on and sliding the key in.
It roared to life, and I sped off. My heart was beating out my chest, and I felt so happy.
When was the last time life had been so good to me?
"A motorcycle." Charlie deadpanned as I stepped into the door, giving me a long stare. I twitched nervously in my spot.
"Sam and Emily gave it to me because I don't have a way to school."
"You better have a helmet.
"Two, actually, Chief." He thought for a moment, grumbling and murmuring to himself. When he finally looked back up at me, I could have sworn I felt my heart stop in my chest.
"Just be safe, okay?"
"Of course."
"Go on upstairs and do your homework. Bella's been waiting for you." I nodded and started to head for the stairs but stopped and turned back towards Charlie. He gave me a confused look. "What is it?"
"Thank you, Chief."
"For what?"
"For everything." He blushed similarly to Bella and laughed awkwardly before nodding.
"You're welcome."
When I finally made it to Bella's room I found her laying on her bed with a textbook open and her pencil scribbling into a worksheet.
"Working hard, or hardly working?" She jumped at the sound of my voice but quickly relaxed when she saw who it was.
"Working hard, of course. How was school?"
I gave her a shrug before sliding my backpack off and laying on her bed. "It was school." I kicked off my shoes and pulled her into my arms, wrapping my legs around her tiny ones. "How was it for you?"
"It was school." She let go of her pencil and pulled me close, her face disappearing into my chest. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, baby."
"I was invited to a game night at Angela's friend Riley's house." She laughed nervously. "I guess she wants to meet me."
"That sounds like fun, I bet she's cool."
"Will you come with me?" Bella raised her head from my chest and looked at me pleadingly.
"If you want me to."
"Thank you, it really means a lot." She kissed me softly, sliding her tongue into my mouth and tasting me. We kissed for a few seconds before she started to pull away, but and I pulled her back and kissed her roughly.
Somehow, I ended up on top of her, my hands tangled in her hair as she sucked on my tongue. Without meaning to, I groaned and rubbed up against her.
"You're so beautiful, baby." I kissed down her neck and she shuddered. With a soft moan, her fingers dug into my back. "I can't believe I'm kissing such a gorgeous girl right now."
"E-Embry."
"What is it?" A choked moan left my lips as she rubbed back against me and pulled my mouth back to hers. I was on cloud nine; my mind was foggy and half of me wanted to rip her clothes off and make love to her, while the other wanted to take thing slow.
I went with the second option, and after another taste of her sweet mouth, I pulled away from her.
"We need to slow down, baby." I shuddered as she rubbed against me again. "Why don't we work on some homework?"
"I don't want to work on homework. I want to keep kissing you."
"I don't think I can control myself if you keep kissing me like that, Bella."
She blushed, but then leaned up and started to kiss up my neck urgently. "What if I don't want you to control yourself?" Her teeth nipped at my earlobe, and I nearly exploded.
"Baby, please. I'm begging you."
"That's the idea, isn't it?" Her words made me moan again, and without thinking I grabbed her face and smashed my lips to hers. My brain screamed to stop, but everything else urged me on.
"F-fuck, baby, please." Her hands traveled up my shirt and grazed my abs. I twitched in my pants and fought to keep control.
Come on, Embry. You're strong, you can do this.
"Please, Embry." She sucked at my neck. "Touch me."
Fuck, no. You're strong, you're strong, you're-
One of her hands left my shirt and entered my jeans and boxers. She grabbed my length softly with her small hand, and I felt my control start to snap. I whined pathetically in her neck.
"Do you really want me to stop?" She whispered in a quiet voice. "I will stop if you want me to. I won't push you into something you aren't comfortable with."
"I'm worried about you being comfortable with this." Absentmindedly I rubbed myself into her hand and moaned. "W-we've been moving fast already, and I don't want you to think that this is what I'm here for."
"I-I know you aren't." She rubbed at me again, but I could tell something was off. I bit my lip and pulled her hand out of my jeans. It was time suck it up and do what needed to be done.
"Let's just stick to kissing for now, okay?"
"Okay." She pulled me into a hug, and I swallowed as her body pressed against mine. I'd have to take care of myself in the shower later. "Thank you, Embry."
"For what, baby?"
"For being you." Without another word, I rolled us onto our sides and kissed her lips again before pulling her into my chest. She snuggled in immediately, and all was right with the world again.
I hoped it would last for a very long time.
Bella's POV:
Tuesday afternoon, I sat in Dr. Garrity's office again. She looked at me with serious blue eyes, her pen scribbling in her notebook.
I felt uncomfortable. What was she writing about me?
"How have you been, Bella?"
"I've been okay."
"You seem happier."
"I guess."
"Has anything new happened?"
"Well, Embry moved in with me. He was having problems at home, and when Charlie found out, he told him he had to stay."
"And how does that make you feel?"
"I like having him around." My face tinged pink as I continued. "We've been kissing a lot."
"Kissing?"
"Yes. I tried to go farther last night, but he stopped me. He didn't want me to think that was what he was there."
"That was smart of him."
"I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to be close, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him."
"Its perfectly normal to feel that way, Bella." She sent me a small smile. "Has anything else happened?"
A memory branded itself in my mind, and I shuddered.
"One of your secretaries has been talking about my personal life."
"What do you mean?"
"I went over to my friend Angela Weber's house for dinner, and her father said that Angela's mother's friend worked as a secretary here and told them all about me." I looked down at my Chuck Taylor's and sucked in a haggard breath. "Her dad kept asking me about self-harming and making me feel stupid for being depressed." Dr. Garrity was silent for a moment.
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Bella. I will find out who this was and make sure they are taken care of. Would you like to take legal action?"
"My dad does, but I just want to forget about this. I'm past it already." She nodded for a second, and I felt my stomach start to turn into knots. The room was starting to feel small and tight.
"Are you okay?"
"Its so stupid, you know? People keep making decisions for me. First Edward, then Jacob, and even Embry and Charlie do it." I grumbled and wiped my sweaty brow with my jacket sleeve. "I'm an adult, I think I know how to make my own decisions."
"Have you told Embry and Charlie this?"
"Not really."
"And why is that?"
"Most of what they're doing is good for me, like taking me out to have fun or stopping me from doing something stupid. But then there are other things that I feel differently about." I could feel my heart pounding in my ear, and my mouth felt dry like sandpaper. "I don't want to press charges, I don't care about that. I just want to focus on getting better."
"After our session, I'd like for you to sit down with your father and Embry and discuss this with them. Set some ground rules, put your foot down. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want and let your voice be heard."
"What if they don't listen?"
"Then I'll talk to them about it. You feel very strongly about this, and what they are doing could be detrimental to your recovery." Dr. Garrity reached over to her desk behind her and pulled out a gray journal with a gray band holding it shut. "Here, this is for you. I'd like for you to start writing in it every day. You could do it before school, or even before you go to bed. What's best for you."
I took it from her outstretched hands and stared down at the thick book.
"I don't know what I would write."
"How you're feeling, or what happened that day. You can even write down your dreams or a nice recipe you've learned." I nodded and attempted to give her a smile. "Okay, that'll be it for today. Same time next week?"
"Yes, same time next week." We said our goodbyes and I made another appointment at the front desk.
Embry waited outside of my truck, leaning against the side with his arms crossed. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms tightly around him, breathing in his calming smell.
"What's this?" He nodded towards the journal in my hands.
"My therapist wants me to start writing in it every day."
"That sounds awesome. Maybe I could get one of those and we could do it together." I grinned and pulled him into a soft kiss.
"That'd be nice." We stood like that for a while, just basking in each other. He looked deep into my eyes and a beautiful smile graced his face. "Have I told you how cute you are today?"
"Hey, that's my line!"
"Just kiss me again, you cheesehead."
"Alright, your highness." I relaxed as his lips pressed against mine again, smiling against his mouth. When I was in his arms, everything felt like it would be okay. Maybe for a second, I could distract myself with this beautiful boy. Maybe I could even be happy.
He moaned against my lips, and I kissed him back harder.
Gosh, I hoped I could be happy with him by my side.
