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So far we have Wales, Germany, USA, Northern Ireland, UK, Italy, India, Australia, Brazil, and Sri Lanka.
Yeah…I'm late. Don't shoot me, please. I still haven't experienced frosh week. *Ducks down behind screen* See you at the bottom, folks!
Ruthless
Chapter 7: Last Resort
[Bella's POV]
Darkness swirled around me in a dense fog of oblivion. My body was a light medium, floating somewhere under the realm of reality. The thin line between consciousness and unconsciousness was a mere veil dancing just inches from my reach. I tried to lift my arms and grab it, trying to push my body through and into the real world. However, my arms were too heavy, bricks of cement weighing me down and away from my destination.
"She just passed out from shock and would've hit her head if it weren't for Edward."
I knew that sexy voice, I'd heard it somewhere. Where? I had no idea.
But where did it come from?
"She's going to be alright, right Carlisle?"
That was Charlie. My own father who had sold me out. My heart seared with anger at the very thought of his betrayal.
"She'll be just fine. No need to worry."
"But that's the problem. I do worry, Carlisle. She's my only daughter. She's my world. I can't lose her. I'm terrified that one day she'll be torn away from me in the blink of an eye, that they'll steal her from me."
I heard a choked sob and that's when realization hit me like a solid brick. Charlie was crying...over me. The last time I had seen him cry was when he had come rushing into the hospital to find my mangled body being operated on. Before that, the day my mother left. He was crying as he picked me up from school, three hours after my mother was supposed to. She never did. She never came home.
I just didn't understand. None of this added up correctly. If Charlie was so afraid of losing me, why would he sign my life over to a family of ruthless killers? Why would he sell me to the highest bidder?
Why would you give your world away, the one most precious to you, to criminals? Why would you give her up to fight for her life if she meant so much to you?
None of this made sense to me but what was even more perplexing was what Charlie had said in midst of his confession. Who were {they}? The one he was so afraid of losing me to...who was he talking about?
"We'll protect her, Charlie. We won't let them hurt her."
"How long do you think she'll be out?" That was the devil spawn speaking.
"She should be walking up in -"
The waves around me pulsed and pushed me under even more so, the pressure burning my chest and roaring in my ears.
I ached to hear more, the find out the truth, but I could feel my surroundings beginning to fade into the recesses of unconsciousness. I didn't even hear how long I would be walking up in when the world went black.
It was much quieter when I awoke, hours later. My head spun as I blinked past the weariness and glanced at the setting sun shining faint golden rays across my floorboards. Despite the fact that I'd slept for nearly a whole day, I felt exhausted. Last night's and this morning's events came rushing back to me and I nearly buckled under the weight of them.
Charlie had sold me off to the Cullens.
I was going to be that monster's wife and the very thought of my horrific future made me nauseous. There was only one thing to do now. I should've done this last night, or even years ago. I had promised my mother I would never make such a drastic move but the time had come.
I still remembered the look in her eyes, years ago, when she made me promise.
It was the morning of the day she left and it was just before school started. Before I could join the other children mulling at the front doors while waiting for the bell to ring, my mother pulled me back.
She combed her fingers through my hair and crouched down to button up my coat.
"Make sure you cover up from head to toe, sweetheart," she reminded me as she tightened my scarf. "We don't want you getting sick, now do we?"
Once she was finished making sure I was completely bundled up, she smiled at me softly. It was one of her motherly smiles, the ones made of honey and all things sweet. There was something else behind her smile, an unknown emotion, but I was too preoccupied with glowing under her attention.
"Mrs. Smith says we're going to paint today. We're going to paint our families. I'm going to paint daddy, and you, mommy. I'm going to paint the three of us as one big happy family. That will be so pretty, won't it, mommy?"
Mommy gave me a faint smile and took a deep breath before pressing her cold lips to my forehead.
"It'll be beautiful, sweetheart," she whispered hoarsely. "Baby, you're a very good girl. You're very brave. You'll take care of your daddy, won't you?"
"Is daddy sick?" I asked worriedly.
Mommy shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. When she opened them again, they were misty.
"Daddy is fine but I'm going to need you to make sure he stays that way. You need to take care of him and make sure nothing bad ever happens to him. Can you do that for mommy? Can you take care of daddy, you brave girl?"
I was confused but I nodded quickly so she wouldn't cry. Her eyes were wet and I was afraid I did something to hurt her.
"I'll take care of daddy," I assured her.
"You're going to need to be strong, Bellarina. It's a tough world and only those who are brave make it through. Don't let what anyone says stop you from fighting for what's right. You'll need to be very strong, baby. Please, you can't let these people drown you."
"Mommy, what's wrong?"
I pressed my tiny palm against her red cheek and bit my lip nervously. I was scared.
"Nothing's wrong, honey," she tried to tell me but I could tell she was lying. "Now listen carefully. You need to promise me that you'll always be there for your father."
"You're scaring me, mommy."
"No, baby, you need to promise me you'll always be there for him. Promise me that you'll never leave him. Promise me, Bellarina!" she nearly sobbed out the words, her tone desperate and her eyes darting across my face anxiously.
"Mommy, I'm scared."
I still remembered the moment I signed my life over in one promise, the moment I tied myself down to this shithole of a town. Now, when I was facing the clutches of hell, it was time to back out. I needed to get out, I needed to escape.
In that moment, I made my decision and it took me a split second to react. I scrambled out of my bed, throwing the covers to the floor. Without pausing to listen for Charlie's presence in the house, I grabbed my carry on bag and began to stuff all my belongings into it. There weren't a lot since I couldn't afford more than a few pairs of clothes or a small broken hairbrush. My towel was one that had belonged to my mother but she had left it behind when she made her escape. Even with all my belongings, the bag wasn't full or even close to being but those were all my possessions.
I spared my room one last glance, the place that had been my solace in the seventeen years I had lived here. I tiptoed out into the hall and cowered back into the wall when I heard Charlie talking on the phone in his bedroom.
"She's going to hate me for this, Carlisle," he grunted into the phone. "How do I make her understand that this is the only way to keep her safe?"
I nearly snorted out loud at that. Bullshit. Who the fuck was he kidding? This marriage was the farthest thing from safe, it was suicide. There was no way I'd live through it. If that green eyed monster didn't kill me first, I would do it myself. There was no way I could survive that sham of a marriage unscathed.
I started to make my way down the stairs when I heard something that made me stop on the spot.
"- debt I owe. I can't look her in the face and tell her I married her off in exchange for money. She doesn't know that we're broke or that if I don't find the money soon, the bank will evict us. She doesn't know that we'll starve to death without this money. I just can't tell her that I've failed as a father. It was my duty to provide for her and keep her safe, but I failed."
I squeezed my eyes shut to fight off the impending tears. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew we were struggling with money but I never thought that we were flat out broke.
Charlie sold me out not for greed but for survival. I was the last resort. He needed the money so we wouldn't be kicked out onto the street. He never intended to hurt me but doing what was necessary to survive and feed our stomach was a bullet straight through my heart.
We needed the money. Charlie needed the money, and that meant he needed me.
Promise me, Bellarina!
In that very moment I wished that I were heartless, that I was a sociopath. Only then would I be able to save myself, others be damned.
But no, I wasn't any of those. Even if I didn't survive this sham of a marriage, I would be burned alive from the inside with the guilt that would haunt me for eternity. I couldn't do this to Charlie. He needed me.
~R~R~R~R~R~
By dinner time the next night, I was back to my life. Except, it wasn't even mine anymore. It was the same old routine but it was overshadowed by tense silences and uncomfortable presences.
I couldn't stand to be in the same room as Charlie but when I absolutely had to be, I remained silent. I refused to meet his eyes or respond to any of his pathetic attempts to start a conversation.
I hadn't gone to school on Monday, partly because I'd been prescribed bed rest and partly because I didn't want to see Satan himself again.
On Tuesday, Charlie was gone way before it was even time for me to go to school. I spent a good hour contemplating in bed until finally forcing myself to get ready for school.
I don't know what I expected. Maybe news of my engagement with the beast had spread like wildfire through this disgustingly small town. It was, after all, Forks. Maybe I thought the Cullens would treat me differently, force me to hang out with them since I was soon to be their prisoner.
They never did.
It was as if the four other Cullens had no clue. Other than the devil spawn smirking at me occasionally, they treated me no differently than they usually did. As if I didn't exist.
Now don't get me wrong. I liked it that way but still, something was really odd.
Nobody in the school knew of the deal that had been made over the weekend. Nobody knew that my life was being handed over to an executioner.
That Tuesday evening, I trudged home in the rain like always but this time my mind was in turmoil.
Wednesday was the same but Angela wouldn't stop looking at me with worry. She insisted something was wrong and implored me to tell her. But what would I say? What could I say?
Finally, on Thursday, she cracked when she saw me flinching away from Assward's smirk.
"What is up with you? And no, I won't take nothing for an answer this time," she added angrily when I opened my mouth to give her the same answer I'd been giving her for three days now. "Have you looked in the mirror once, Bella? You're a mess. You have the scariest bags under your eyes and you're paler than you've ever been, which is saying something. Your skin is sticking to your bones and honestly, you look like you're going to collapse any second now. Please, I'm not stupid. I know something isn't right."
I glanced at her anxious eyes for a moment before dropping my gaze to the table. I didn't have a lunch today because ever since I'd heard Charlie talking to Carlisle on the phone, I'd been trying to save money. If by skipping a few meals I saved a couple dollars, it would still help. I had to do what I could to help him out. I knew it was stupid but I was still hoping that somehow we would have enough money to pay our bills and that the bank wouldn't kick us out of our house. That would mean that I wouldn't have to marry the devil. It was a pathetic plea of hope but it was something.
"I haven't been sleeping too well for the past couple days," I admitted quietly. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. "We're having a little trouble with money so I'm a bit stressed out."
Angela gave me a sympathetic frown and patted my hand as she said, "I'm always here for you. If you're have financial issues, it's no reason for you to skip meals."
My head shot up and I stared at her with disbelief.
"W-what?" I managed to croak out.
"Like I said, I'm not stupid. I know you and I know how much you love your father. You would do anything to help him out and make his life easier," she told me with a small smile. "But, Bella, you can't starve yourself just to save him money."
"N-no," I lied quickly. "That's not what I'm doing. I forgot my lunch at home, I'm not lying."
"Bella, you know you can trust me, right?"
I nodded and added, " I know but you can trust me too."
"I do trust you, Bella, but I know how much you love your father. He wouldn't want you doing this. You want to take care of him but I know that you would sell your soul to the devil if you had to."
I stared at her with wide eyes, amazed at how close yet far from the truth she was. I would sell my soul to the devil and that was exactly what I was doing right now. But the only difference was that Charlie was the one making me do it.
Since I wasn't sleeping too well at night for throat week, I had taken to getting ahead in all my classes. My marks were already really good but even I could see the improvement three sleepless nights had done. Sure I resembled the walking dead and it wasn't like I could afford college, but I was sort of proud of myself. Even though I wouldn't dare dream of getting further education, especially now that I had been sold off, it was what I wanted more than anything. But the truth was that it was an unattainable fantasy. Even if I somehow managed to afford it, my monster of a future husband would never allow it.
On Friday, when I walked into my AP Calculus class, I was accosted by Mike Newton. He was the apple of Jessica's eye and he hadn't paid attention to me once in the past ten years. So to say that I was confused when he stood in my way to prevent me from walking away and grinned at me was an understatement.
"Bella," he leered, his eyes straying down to my chest.
I snapped my fingers in front of his face ad snapped irritatedly, "Eyes up here, Newton."
The asshole Newton licked his lips and purred, "Feisty, I like that."
My eyebrows shot up into my hairline and I stepped away with a frown. Of course, this dumbs stepped even closer, going as far as to breath into my face and curl a strand of my hair around his finger.
"You're such a fucking tease, Bella. Hiding that hot body under these rags you call clothes. If you were mine I would make sure you were always naked with only diamonds draped over your bare skin," he whispered loudly, his disgusting words crawling over my spine.
I fought back a shiver but I couldn't prevent the revulsion that was very obvious on my face.
Over Newton's shoulder, my eyes met another pair so blue, not unlike the ocean. Jasper Cullen stared back at me and the emotion in his eyes was anger. It was clear that he had heard Newton's degrading words.
"Get the fuck away from me, Newton," I hissed furiously. "I'm not yours and never will me. I'd rather die than be your anything."
Not allowing him to say anything else, I pushed past him and stalked to my desk.
I spent the entire period fuming under my breath and just when I thought the day couldn't get worse, I stepped out under the rain. Sometime during last period, it had started raining and it hadn't taken long for a light sprinkle to become a storm. It rained cats as dogs as everyone around me ran to their cars. I let out a loud groan and began my long walk home.
Not two minutes into the journey, I was soaked to the bone and chattering as I fought my way through the waterfalls that came from passing by cars and the heavens above. My muscles ached and I couldn't even remember what it meant to be dry. I had no idea how I was going to survive this walk home. I could only pray that I wouldn't get sick. I couldn't afford to be sick, definitely not. I considered hiding out in a store until the storm stopped but that would be a while and I needed to be home on time to cook dinner.
I almost didn't notice as a very familiar silver Volvo stopped down and stopped next to me. My heart stuttered as the window rolled down and over the rage of rain, I heard the one voice I hated the most in this world.
"Get in."
I gritted my teeth and ignoring him completely, continued to trudge down the sidewalk.
The car crawled along slowly as he repeated his demand.
"No, thanks," I managed to yell over the blowing winds.
"I wasn't asking. Get your ass in here, Swan," he growled.
"I don't need your help. I'll manage just fine on my own."
He let out a loud sigh and hissed, "As your fiancée, I'm telling you to shut the fuck up and get in the goddamn car or so help me."
I wanted to shove his stupid car up his ass and fuck up his face so badly that no girl would ever want to marry him, not even for his money. Then again, it's not like he asked.
I opened my mouth to tell him to go marry an STD advertisement like Tanya when I sneezed.
Fear struck my heart when I realized that I was getting sick. There was no way I could walk home the rest of the way and still not get sick. But I couldn't afford that. Money wasted on medication could be used to buy enough food for all the meals of one day.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and let out a sigh. I couldn't believe what I was doing.
Slowly, my mind screaming at my body not to give in, I walked over to the other side of the silver Volvo and slipped into the passenger's side.
Immediately, I was enveloped by the warmth that was swirling around in the car. The heaters were blasting on full power and the seats were burning.
Oh my fucking god, my ass was on fire and it was amazing. These heated leather seats were rightly so expensive because it was like sitting on a warm cloud of heaven. Man, I could sleep here forever while the storm raged outside.
Suddenly coming to my senses, I glanced over to find the devil watching me with indecipherable ire gleaming wickedly on his eyes.
What had I gotten myself into?
*Hey, guys! I know I'm late but I'm terribly sorry. I had the chapter finished just in time but somehow my non-techy ass managed to make it magically disappear into thin air. Actually, I think it was stolen by unicorns but really, who can blame them?
Thank you all so much for your well wishes and as you can see – more like read – I've managed to make a speedy recovery. That was the first stomach flu I've ever had and I hope I never have it again.
I know there's not a lot that happens in this chapter but I have the next 2 or 3 chapters mapped out so the plot will be moving along. Also, I'll be posting a chapter on Friday like usual but then I'll also be updating on the Sunday after that because December 1st is my birthday and I wanted to give you guys a little present of my own.
*muah* I love you all! *Bursts into tears and runs away*
Please do PM me if you would like to make a banner for Ruthless. It would be much appreciated.
Spread the word if you like my fic and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! We managed to get 68 reviews for the last chapter. Can we beat it this time? Hell yes!
Next Update: Friday, November 29nd, 2013
