I'm back and boy have I missed these two! They are definitely my ship; the stories about them flow from my fingertips so easily and it's a joy to write them together. I know it been a while since we last heard from these two and for a while I was convinced the story was done. Then I recently read this story again due to an urging from one of my friends…I think they have a few more chapters and things to discuss, don't you guys? ;)

To all of you still out there and willing to read it, please enjoy! And remember reviews are love and I would LOVE to here from all of you…

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or their respective shows, I'm only playing…


Brenda smiled contently as Sharon's gentle fingers continue to map the contours of her face, entranced by the softness of the younger woman's skin. Their breaths finally began to calm as they locked eyes once again, pushing each other out to arms length, giving some sense of distance and control. Its something they needed right now, there were things they needed to talk about before this could go any further. Brenda had some things to tell her Captain and Sharon probably had some questions for her Chief.

"Not that I don't appreciate it," the younger woman began, "but you are you sure about this?"

Sharon looked at the other woman as if she had grown to heads.

She seriously couldn't be reconsidering already…

Could she?

Seeing the puzzled look on Sharon's face, Brenda rushed to clarify her statement, what she had said didn't come out right, but then again things she meant to say never did.

She gently took the take out from the older woman's clenched hand, her knuckles so tight they were turning an offending shade of white.

"That didn't come out right," Brenda stated, shaking her head dismissively.

Sharon chuckled softly as she followed Brenda through the hall and into the small and almost empty living room. She glanced around briefly as she discarded her purse by the side of the couch, taking in all the nuances of her surroundings. The walls were devoid of pictures or any signs of life from the person who had been living there for the last few years. The carpet, couch, and pillows were all lightly muted Earth tones, neither warm nor inviting.

Her attention was brought back to the Blonde in question as she cleared her throat, trying to gain Sharon's attention. The Captain could feel herself blushing from being caught red handed cataloguing Brenda's apartment, but that was soon replaced by sadness. Judging from the expression the younger woman now wore, she was embarrassed as well, but for a different reason altogether. Brenda rubbed at the back of her neck nervously.

"I didn't exactly feel like decoratin', " she explained softly, "it seemed like too much energy to be expended."

Sharon opened her mouth to deny what had been said, but before she could the blonde had set the takeout on the table and scrambled into the kitchen, presumably to gather silverware and drinks. Sharon's suspicions were confirmed with the next question.

"What would you like to drink?" Brenda inquired, poking her head over the kitchen island, "I have iced tea, water, milk...might even be a lemon-lime soda in the back…"

Sharon picked up on the fact that wine was mysteriously left off the list and decided to file that information away for a later time. Something didn't seem right as she considered the blonde quietly.

"Iced tea," she answered.

She listened to the noises of Brenda puttering around in her kitchen for a few more moments.

"Do you mind if I…" she indicated the shoes on her feet.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Brenda's eyes widened slightly as she came back into view.

"I'm horrible…please make yourself at home."

With a shooing motion of her hands, the blonde head ducked back into the kitchen and left Sharon to once again investigate her surroundings. The older woman carefully toed off the simple Nike running shoes and tucked them next to the couch and her purse. She then settled into the supple leather and let a low moan escape her lips, as the tension from her day seemed to melt away. She sank into the corner, making herself comfortable; she drew her feet up and under her.

It was then that something caught Sharon's attention. While the interior of the apartment was bare and devoid of a lot, it seemed that the balcony was the place to be, so homey and broken in. She rose slowly from the couch and cautiously walked towards the sliding glass door, throwing a calculating glance in Brenda's direction. Convinced the blonde was still engrossed in whatever she was doing in the kitchen, Sharon continued to glance through the window.

There was a plush chaise lounge, the same color of the couch inside, with what looked to be a well-worn blanket hanging off one end. The table situated before the chaise was surprisingly neat, one end was filled with books and the other with a very green looking plant. In the other corner of the patio was an outdoor heater, making Sharon wonder just how much time the younger woman spent out there. Her eyes rose from the balcony and looked out at the landscape, what she saw took her breath away.

Forgetting about Brenda for just a moment, Sharon opened the door and slipped noiselessly outside. Her own condo had a beautiful view of the city but it couldn't hold a candle to this. There was a perfect silhouette of the Los Angeles skyline, imbued with different lights from the city and the passing cars on the street below. The streets themselves were endlessly turning and twirling through the city, spreading in all different directions. When looking beyond, you could clearly see the different levels of the hillside painting an intricate picture against the twilight of the darkened sky.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Brenda's voice even though soft and serene caused Sharon to startle, moving her head to look quickly over her shoulder. She noticed that the blonde held the silverware and takeout in one hand and the drinks in the other. She was casually leant up against the doorway, looking for once completely at ease.

"Yes…very," Sharon admitted softly.

The former Deputy Chief walked slowly towards the table as the other woman moved the pile of books to make room for their dinner. Once she had settled the food, Brenda turned towards the heater and flicked the switch into the on position; for the first time since stepping out into the night Sharon noticed just how brisk the slight breeze was."

"When I first moved in here," she began to explain, "I felt trapped inside, but out here I felt free, it was easier for me to think and sometimes even breathe."

She looked at the view for a moment, seeming to draw strength for the coming conversation from it and validating her comment about feeling free. Sharon could see something lift from the blonde's soul, making her seem just a little bit more composed.

"Its my place to think and sometimes to dwell on the hard things."

Brenda indicated that Sharon should sit first so she slipped onto the chaise lounge just as the blonde did so, marveling at the plush comfort the outdoor furniture provided. She was once again startled when she felt Brenda unfold the blanket he had been studying earlier and spread it across their adjoining laps.

At Sharon's surprise she shrugged shyly, "The heater helps with the upper body, but I always find my legs get a little chilly."

Sharon nodded her head absentmindedly while Brenda unpacked the take out, handing one container to the older woman along with a fork and napkin. She then settled back into her side, sitting with her legs crossed underneath her. They sat in silence for a few moments, pushing around the items in their boxes and occasionally taking miniscule bites.

Sharon could feel Brenda's eyes on her, but every time she would look up seeking eye contact the blonde would look away sheepishly. It was beginning to get a little uncomfortable when the younger woman finally broke the silence.

"This is ridiculous," she huffed.

Sharon hummed softly, "It does seem a little…awkward, doesn't it?"

Brenda rubbed the back of her neck, something the older woman was starting to associate with her nervousness. With a quiet sigh, Brenda sat her untouched food on the table and turned slightly to face Sharon, her shoulders slumped.

"Maybe we should talk," she murmured, "there are a few things you should know and I'm sure you have some things you want to ask me."

The brunette nodded her head in agreement, "Where would you like to begin, Brenda Leigh?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Why don't you start with your therapy sessions?" Sharon suggested.

"Alright," Brenda agreed hesitantly, "My therapist's name is Laura and to be completely honest she's been one of my biggest supporters."

She shifted in her seat a fraction, putting just a little more space between her and Sharon. The things she was about to share would be difficult without Sharon present, with them so physically close it would be near impossible.

"I was pretty broken after everythin' that happened, from Mama dyin'," she paused briefly, "and then the Stroh case, it was all just so off kilter."

Sharon noticed the pause after mentioning her mother was pained, but not overly so. She reached out to touch Brenda with a comforting hand on her shoulder, but was surprised when Brenda scooted away from her even more. It seemed that she needed the space and Sharon could at least give her that.

"And then when I left the LAPD and all of my friends behind…the career I worked and sacrificed for," she inhaled sharply, "it became all just too much."

She inhaled sharply, "I couldn't sleep…I couldn't eat, I was functionin' at the bare minimum."

Brenda could feel her heart rate increase and the pressure of tears behind her eyes, but she had to keep going. Sharon was looking at her with those luminous green eyes filled with so much concern and dare she say it…love? That in and of itself gave her the courage to continue.

"It wasn't easy for me to leave," she shivered, " I knew how upset you would be and how disappointed me team would be, how much trouble they would give you."

She sniffled faintly and realized she was quickly losing her battle with her emotions and the tears trapped behind her eyes. She had to get through this, it was now or never she supposed.

She swiped underneath her lashes, "I never meant to leave that way…I mean I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to you or to explain why…"

Sharon watched as her Chief trailed off, at a loss for words. She itched to pull Brenda into her arms and will all the sadness away; she wanted to cocoon the younger woman so tight that no more harm would come to her.

"I began to isolate myself from everyone, even the people I worked with," the tears were flowing freely now, "and then the drinkin' started."

Brenda looked up to connect eyes with the brunette. Sharon wore a look akin to shock, maybe even a little disappointment. She couldn't handle seeing that look from Sharon so she glanced down towards her lap and the hands that were twisting the edge of the threadbare blanket.

"At first," she continued looking down, "it was a glass or two a night…then it was three or four and then eventually I was drinkin' whole bottles to myself."

She went on shakily, "I would forget where I was or what I was supposed to be doin'…I was just goin' through the motions of the day so I could just get home and see the bottle."

She wiped stubbornly at the tears that were now streaking down her cheeks.

Embarrassed at her inability to control herself and not wanting to see the displeasure in Sharon's gaze again she cleared her throat.

"I think that's why Fritzy left…not that I could blame him, I was a wreck and he didn't deserve any of that." She shook her head.

The older woman couldn't hold it anymore and reached forward, gently drawing the blonde into the circle of her arms. Brenda resisted initially; it took a little convincing and maneuvering but eventually, they lay together on the chaise, Sharon propped against he arm and Brenda held tightly to her chest. The Captain could here the ragged breathing coming from her counterpart, she was trying desperately to tamp down her emotions.

"Let it out Brenda Leigh," Sharon muttered softly.

It was then that the older woman felt the damn break and with it Brenda Leigh Johnson's resolve. The tiny body cradled to her chest began to wrack with uncontrollable sobs and intelligible words whispered into Sharon's chest urgently.

"You will be fine," the Captain promised, "…we will be fine."