Title: For the Price of a Cup of Tea
Author: nyxie9
Disclaimer: Oh the things I don't own. Some of them are found here
Spoilers: none
Pairing/Characters: Sam Guthrie/OC
Rating: R
Summary: Sam and Carrie talk some more. Directly after Part 6
"For the price of a cup of tea
You'd get a line of coke
For the price of a night with me
You'd be the village joke
For the price of a pint of milk
I'll tell you all I know
About the state of the world today
Sit down, enjoy the show"
Carrington opted for a well worn 'Stresses Moi? Jamais!' shirt paired with soft flannel shorts. She didn't think it too provocative but she wished she'd shaved her legs more recently. It was strange, she thought, how physically comfortable she was with the man. She kind of liked that. Actually she liked it a lot. She had never experienced that before, not with any other man she'd known.The woman shuffled out to the kitchen to retrieve a chilled bottle of wine.
That's where Sam found her, bending over, shorts ridding up pleasantly. He only leaned against the wall of the kitchen, watching her. when she straightened, he didn't startle her, make her smile kindly or merit a greeting. Rather she snorted and then laughed. "What's so funny, girl?" "That is…not a flattering outfit."
The sweatpants were about three inches too short and the shirt rode high on his midriff. All she could do was laugh. "At least they're dry." "You looked better wet." She said still laughing as she set the bottle on the counter. The blonde sauntered over to him, noting that he did look a bit better after the shower and aside from the ridiculous outfit he now wore, he looked more human, more like the Sam she was used to.
"Funny, Ah was thinking the same thin' about you." "Yeah?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yeah." Came his muttered reply as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She melted against his now warm body, his hands pulled her against him. "Sam… what happened tonight?" He was quiet a long time, still holding her, sill looking down into her bright eyes filled with concern. Would it ruin everything between them if he told her everything about himself?
If he didn't would he find a better time? Would she think he had been keeping something from her? No, he didn't want to get any deeper with her if he had to keep secrets. "Ah'm a mutant, Carrie."It was one of those statements that he had expected to be followed by a sharp slap across his face or at least a disgusted look. He had never had to come out like this, never had to tell a normal girl what he was, what he did. Yet, she didn't look shocked, she didn't even look confused. "Aren't you a little old to just be finding out?" He shook his head. "No, Ah…Ah've known since Ah was 16." "Then I'm not sure…what's wrong, that's got you so flustered." "Ah…you ever…you ever see someone die?" The woman nodded, again not what he expected. "Well…was there ever somethin' you coulda done an' you tried but y'still failed?"
Being truthful, no matter how unbelievable it might be, she nodded slightly before placing her hands on the sides of his face. "What happened?" It wasn't that he didn't expect her to ask that but he thought…more like feared, that she would react poorly. "Someone died 'cause o' me." The weight of his words weighed heavily in him, visibly so, perhaps more than the event. "Sam…" Carrie said, stroking his jaw lightly, "Did you kill them?"
There wasn't accusation in her tone, only the question. What would happen to those kind blue eyes if he had said yes, he wondered for a second. "No! Ah…Ah tried t' save her, she was just a little girl Carrie. Ah…Ah didn't have enough time t'get there." "What kept you?" "Ah was getting other people out o' the buildin' before it came down." "So you were helping others?" "Yeah but Ah didn't managed t'help her."
"Sounds to me like you tried. Success can't always be measured in results." "That doesn't make sense, Carrie." "All I'm saying is that trying is what's important. You have to take some solace in that. You have to know that because you did something that some people survived." Sam just closed his eyes, holding the slight blonde and resting his forehead against hers as her hands stroked his hair as a mother might.
How the hell could she be so calm about this? How could she be so understanding? He knew deep down that she was right. It was part of being an X-man, the risk of failure. "Ah…if Ah had been faster…" It hurt her to see him like this. She cared for him too much to want to see him beating himself up. One of her hands left its place on his cheek and touched the small gold cross on her neck out of habit.
"Sammy, sometimes…God has a reason behind who lives and dies and…even if we don't understand the reason why, I think there is one behind deaths that we label as senseless. I don't claim to know what it is and I don't know what happened out there but Sam, you're…you've always acted with the best of intentions with me. I can't believe that you would ever act without them." "Ah coulda…"
She shushed him, pressing her finger to his lips. "No, Sam, you couldn't have. If you could have, wouldn't you have?" "Of course!" "Then it stands to reason that while sad and horrible, it's not your fault and you can't beat yourself up over something that couldn't stop." He wanted to believe her so badly, wanted her words to sooth him. They did but there was a part of him that told him something could have been different.
"Ah still…Ah wish Ah coulda changed things." "I know that's because you're kind man with a good heart." She pressed a kiss to his nose. "You came all the way over here because of that? This…this can't be the first time things have gone pear shaped, if the this is what you do." "No it ain't but it's the first time like this an' the first time Ah've felt this way about it." It sounded ridiculous to him, to feel this way about failing.
He was used to the risk, the fear, the potential fatality of it and had found ways to deal with it. Maybe it was this woman. He had come to the point where he wanted to confide in her, find comfort in her. Then I'm glad you came here instead of doing something rash." "Ah thought this was pretty rash." "No, just…alarming without knowing why but…I care for you a great deal Sam. In fact, I adore you so I'm more than willing to listen to your hopes and fears and lend you a shoulder to cry on."
His grey eyes locked onto her soft blue ones, wondering how he had been lucky enough to end up with her. "You're perfect." Sam finally said, kissing her on the nose. "Well maybe I can get myself back to normal standing by telling you that you look like you were on the wrong end of the hand-me-down stack." Sam's only response was a playful tickling, coaxing a squeal out of her soft lips as she squirmed against him.
"Stop! Oh Jesus." She gasped trying to hide how ticklish she really was and knowing that she was failing horribly. In a failed attempt to escape his grasp she found herself pinned to wall. It was then his nimble fingers slowed, his palms flattened against her stomach and lips met hers again. Determination in the kiss, passion and longing and a little more than a hint of desperation twisted with his tongue against hers.
Carrie's delicate hands moved from being braced against his chest to sliding around his neck. Her slim leg moved up his and came to rest against his hip as his hand moved from her ass to the smooth expanse of her outer thigh, to hold her leg in there. Her heart was beating faster than it had any right to, she thought. His touch couldn't possibly excite her like it did. Sam's other hand move along her stomach over her shirt a moment before pushing the hem of the garment up, skimming just his fingertip over the soft skin underneath. There was no controlling his need to touch her.
He tried to convince himself he wasn't pushing this past their boundaries of comfort but the more time he spent with the woman, the more accepting she was, the more he wanted her. She flinched just slightly, perhaps afraid he might start tickling her again so he flattened his palm to assure her the playful gesture had past and that he wanted something more substantial. But that caused her to jolt more her hand grasping his wrist with surprising strength only to pull his hand away from her body. He broke their kiss, looking into her eyes with both confusion and concern. What had he done wrong?
He hadn't tread on completely foreign ground. It wasn't like she'd ever complained about the speed at which they were moving or had ever mentioned anything that might indicate she didn't want to go forward. There was something dark lingering in those azure depths, only surfacing a moment before she covered it. "Dinner'll be here shortly. We should…should, um you know the thing." Wow, he thought, her defenses went up quicker than he would have thought.
"What's wrong?" He asked, letting her leg slid off his hip but moving his hand to the wall to halt her flight. The blonde shook her head. "I'm just hungry, is all. I…I'm fine." She wasn't fine but she also wasn't budging. Now wasn't the time to push her, that much was evident in her strangely sad eyes."Really Sam I just…" She didn't know what to say, how to explain what had happened, why the feeling of panic pulsed through her veins.
She released his wrist and ducked under his other arm. There was a danger in her eyes. He suspected that fear in her case was more dangerous than anger. "You need help with somethin'?" Sam asked as he watched her walk away from him."No, it's fine." "Carrie, darlin', did Ah do somethin' wrong?" Her back was still to him so he didn't see the way she pressed her lips together with nervousness. The question sounded painful to her ears, so pitying, only she didn't know if the pity was for him or her.
Carrie knew that she wanted Sam and yet his touch, like no one's before his bothered her most when it floated over the old scars. "No, you've…done everything right." "Then what? Is it…ah mean are you…you're still interested in me, aren't you?" Could it be that her acceptance wasn't as blanketed as it seemed at first? Maybe she didn't want a mutant to touch her. Yet his insecurity made her smile just a bit, not maliciously but simply at the idea that she didn't want him. He couldn't be farther off. "Sam, who wouldn't want you?" He shook his head, walking her now, standing behind her but not touching her.
"There's somethin'…when Ah touched you--" "We all have our pasts, Sam. And I'm sorry that sometimes mine is going to get in the way." "Babe, that's…Ah can't begin t'tell you what's wrong with that. Ah…if there's somethin' that…" His words piled on top of each other as he tried to understand, make her understand everything in his mind right then. He took a steadying breath. "Ah care about you too. If there's somethin' wrong, Ah wanna know about it."
"Carrie, then what? Ah think we're got a future together. If there's somethin' in your past…you know you can tell me." She wanted to believe him so much. She should have told him her concerns and fears. She didn't. "There's beer in the fridge if you don't care for wine." It wasn't even close to what she wanted to say but it was all she could muster. "Okay," He said again, not sure what to make of it all, still concerned that he had done something wrong.
A lingering thread hung between them fostered by the insecurity over what was taking place in her mind. Still, they ate dinner together, the awkwardness between them melting slowly as they spoke and joke, ate, drank. It progressed so far as to make it seem almost like none of the evening had happened and they were just together, with each other as it had been before.
The pair found themselves on the sofa, not sitting as close as they might have but the distance was almost unperceivable. Neither of them was watching the movie they'd put in. Their hands had linked at some point and it gave him courage. Sam leaned in bridging the gap between them and cupped the side of her face with his hand, kissing her softly. "Sam?" She questioned softly after they parted. "Ah'm…" He paused looking at her soft face.
"Ah don't really know what Ah'm supposed t'do or feel here.." She smiled as she slid closer to him, leaning into the tall southerner. "That's okay. I don't suppose you need to know right now." Her hand rested against his firm chest and she licked her lips, wanting to taste him again. "Tell me we're okay, baby." "We are Sam. I think we are." "Can Ah…still touch you?"
Her eyes seemed to darken at the suggestion but he couldn't tell if it was in lust or anger. He hadn't meant to say it like that, had wanted to sound smoother than that. "Ah don't mean…now. Ah want you but Ah can wait if you ask me." "We need to wait." She couldn't really believe the words coming out of her mouth because it wasn't what she wanted. On one hand the longing for him had been building for months and on the other wanted to linger in the moments beforehand.
Things seemed to go downhill after she got physically involved with someone. And she didn't want to recoil from the lovely man every time he touched her stomach. "I mean, I want you but…I don't want there to be question. I've had very few perfect moments and fewer men who've wanted to treat me the way you treat me so, it may be selfish but I want to draw that out." It made him smile for some reason. "Truth be told, I don't want to wait at all Sam. My heart's not in it tonight."
"Care, Ah want all of you, heart and soul." He said kissing hands, looking so genuinely into her eyes. She couldn't explain why she did what she did next. Perhaps it was the air of honesty that permeated their evening or because she truly cared about Sam or because he cared about her but she wasn't scared. She wanted, nay needed him to know. "I've never done this before."
Sam's eyes widened, not out of fear but out of confusion. That might explain her reaction to his growingly sexual touches. "You're a virgin?" Her face skewed in bewilderment at how he'd drawn the conclusion but the decided her stream of conscious announcement wasn't all that well prefaced.
"No...not that. I'm not…no. No what I haven't done is…I…well I've never been completely honest with someone about my past and I'd like to be with you." "Oh well, yeah, me too." Sam said with an encouraging smile and laugh, stroking the blade of his finger down her soft arm. "Well, I used to be married." "Married? You're too young." "Nice of you to say but again no." "You're not still…" "No! We really must work on your jumping to conclusions. I've been divorced a long time. But the reason I got divorced was because my husband beat me, nearly killed me."
Sam had not been expecting that, not even close. It put things in perspective. Despite her wishes, all of her guards fell down and she couldn't stop herself from telling him. "I…I haven't been in a real relationship since then, Sam. I haven't trusted anyone enough to…to not hurt me. But I know you won't. I trust you. I just…I had to tell you that." It wasn't all she had to tell him but it was part and right then it had to be enough. "Listen t'me Carrie, Ah ain't that kinda guy, okay?" She didn't respond but he continued.
"Ah'm not looking t'hurt you. Ah'm more than willin' t'wait f'r…whatever you wanna wait f'r be it days or months, even years. Ah'm not…Ah don't just mess around with girls." He touched the spot of her stomach tenderly, over the shirt that had made her flinch before. She did again but tired not to. Sam kept his hand there this time, firm but not too hard. "You can trust me. Ah'm not a bad guy." "I didn't think you were." Grasping his hand she lifted it only to slide her shirt up just below her breasts.
Sam didn't look at first, only staring into her eyes. He realized that she wasn't worried about him hurting her but about whatever had been done to her. The scar tissue stood out faintly on her nearly flawless skin. Long and jagged, Sam knew they were knife wounds that fell along her transverse abdominals up under her shirt and down under the waist band of her shorts. "Carrie." He whispered as he reached out to touch her, wanting to sooth her old wounds somehow if he could.
She leaned back at the insistence of his hands. Carrie closed her eyes, a mixture of sadness and nervousness on her lovely face. "Ah think you're beautiful." He whispered leaning over her to brush his lips against hers. Pulling away when her mouth turned up in a ghost of a smile, Sam touched her stomach firmly but affectionately. His flaxen topped head bent down and pressed a trail of loving kisses to the old wounds. The trembling of her stomach wasn't fear now.
It was there but mixed pleasantly with anticipation and hope and a slight tickle from the bristle of his unshaven face. "Sam, you can't do this to me." She said trembling as his soft lips touched her skin, contrasting with the course beginnings of his beard. "Why not?" He asked, his breath hot against her. "I…it's too much. You'll make me cry." "Maybe you should cry. Ah'm not gonna stop being kind t'you. So, you're either gonna hafta cry or get used to it."
Sam pulled down her shirt but pressed a final kiss to her stomach over her shirt. He leaned over her a bit, looking down into her dewy eyes, moist with the tears she refused to cry. And he said what he'd wanted to say since he'd come in the door and she'd held him in her thin arms, perhaps since he'd met her. "Carrie, Ah love you." "Sam," she said, voice shaky as she turned her head away from his cool eyes of slate blue. even lined with dark circles they were full of truth and beautiful.
She couldn't look at him. He touched her chin softly, stroking her face tenderly. He had come seeking comfort from he found himself able to give it to her just as easily as she had done for him. At least he hoped he had made her feel at least half as safe and reassured as she made him. "Why?" "Why what?" He said with a slight laugh. "Why love me?" Her voice whispered, nearly failing her. "Because you're beautiful." She scoffed.
"Ah mean it. Ah'm not saying just physically. Everythin' about you is beautiful; your laugh, your touch, the kindness in your eyes, the way kiss me, the way you hold me, the way that Ah feel like Ah can say anythin' t' you and you judge don't me f'r it. Ah can't see a single thing that's not beautiful about you, that's not worth lovin'. Ah know there're…not beautiful things about you but Ah even love your faults. You're beautiful, all over. Ah'd be stupid not t'love you."
"You're so much better than I've ever thought I deserved." She turned her head to face him again and she couldn't believe how beautiful he was in that moment. Carrie reached up to stroke his jaw. "I'd be pretty foolish not to love you back I guess." Sam smiled back down at her. "I reckon we're a pretty good match then."
"You still wanna stay the night?" Being alone wasn't something she could face right then. It wasn't sexual. It was for comfort. "Only if you want me to." She nodded and he rose up, pulling her with him to sit beside him. And they went back to their movie. He was well aware of the fact that she didn't actually tell him that she loved him but considering what she'd just told him, he didn't blame her. He'd have to earn the words. He'd have to earn her but Sam Guthrie wasn't a man who was afraid of hard work.
