Chapter seven
In the early hours of the next morning, Georgie fell in to bed after another night shift. She was already feeling the strain of growing another person, it amazed her how the baby was still just a small bunch of cells but was having such an effect on her body already. She was used to all sorts in her job, bodily fluids of every description and it had never bothered her at all before. Yet tonight she'd had to deal with a bit of a situation and it had turned her stomach so much, someone else had to take over.
She curled up on her side with her arms protectively framing her stomach. It was still perfectly flat, there were no external signs of her pregnancy just yet. She lay in the dark and watched Charlie as he slept; a chink of light from the street light at the front of the house highlighted his features. She wished she had just told him yesterday, but it hadn't been the right time. Now with the bomb Molly had dropped, Georgie wasn't sure if the right time would ever come. She had planned it for so long and she didn't want to just come out with it, especially when Charlie had said he wanted to put things on hold.
Although she was exhausted, her mind was buzzing and she couldn't sleep. She tried to shut her eyes but her mind just wouldn't stop. She began to worry. What if Charlie didn't want this baby? What if it caused an issue with his battle for Amelia and he resented it? She was so deep in worry that she didn't even notice she was crying. Suddenly she jumped as Charlie stirred and wrapped his arms around her sleepily.
'Hey, what's wrong?' He mumbled, tucking his chin in to her neck.
'I dunno.' Georgie replied, relaxing in his arms. 'I just... I'm having a moment.'
Charlie nuzzled in to her neck and held her tightly to him.
'Why are you crying?' He whispered in to the dark. 'Tell me.'
Georgie's heart was thudding in her chest and he could feel it against his body. He opened his eyes and pulled away from her before turning her over to face him.
'Talk to me.' He said. 'Please.'
Georgie took a deep, shaky breath. She didn't want to tell him now, not like this. She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. She wanted it to be a happy occasion, not a sad one.
'Just a bad shift.' She replied finally, and he pulled her in to his chest. He was so warm and the gentle thud of his heart against her cheek calmed her.
'Is this about what I said yesterday?' He asked. 'About putting things on hold?'
'I guess so. Partly.' She whispered.
'I didn't want to upset you.' He said. 'I do want a baby with you, more than anything. But I want to do it right. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Rebecca and Molly. I want to be there for you, 100%. I don't want you to feel unsupported because I'm wrapped up in a bloody court battle. Most of all I don't want to fuck things up again and lose you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.'
Georgie couldn't help but smile. It was what she wanted more than anything too. She just wished that life would be on their side for a change. There always seemed to be some sort of obstacle to get over.
'When I've got things sorted with Amelia then I'll have 10 babies with you, if you want.' He grinned, and she laughed.
'I'd probably be happy with just 2 or 3.' She replied, and he kissed her.
'Probably more sensible.' He said, then his face grew more serious again. 'I'll call the solicitor first thing this morning and see when I can get over there. Would you come with me? One day after work?'
'Yeah.' Georgie replied. 'I'm only doing nights this week. And it's an emergency anyway so I can swap shifts if necessary.'
'Thank you.' He said.
They lay together, their bodies entwined, until Charlie's alarm went off. Georgie felt him pull out of her embrace and get out of the bed carefully as he always did, in an attempt not to wake her. But she felt the loss of him more than ever that day. She wished so much that he could stay. She let her mind drift off again and she was dreaming of the baby again, of the little bunch of cells that was multiplying at great speed inside her. Then she saw herself pushing a buggy down the road, her little bundle of joy wrapped up in a blanket inside. On the other side of the road was Charlie - he was holding hands with Amelia, and although Georgie tried to get to them it seemed as though they were just getting further and further away. Georgie called out and Charlie turned to look at her, but his face was expressionless. She called him again, but soon he and Amelia were so far away she could barely catch them up.
Georgie sat up in bed with a start, her eyes wide and her breathing unsteady. When she realised it was just a dream she lay back against the headboard with her eyes closed, concentrating on breathing in and out, trying to think of something - anything - that would break down the feeling of unease that she felt deep inside her.
