Disclaimer: I own nothing with Criminal Minds except for my dvds. I don't own Fireman Sam, either (and my apologies to any fans – my nephew adores the show and I cannot stand it!).

Author's Note: This is a tad bit short than the previous chapters have been, but I've been struggling a bit and wanted to get something up. The next chapter will probably also be short, but hopefully, I'll get it up sooner! Special thanks to blackandblueangel, spk, cannybairn, hxchick, DaisyAngel (and apologizes for upping the rating on you!), and ChocoboMuffins for the reviews! I love the feedback.

I love even more that it's all been positive so far!

Of Hidden Loves and Sad Anniversaries

"Daddy!"

Jack's piercing scream startled the four adults in the living room. Instantly, Anna leapt over the couch and raced up the stairs with Will hot on her heels. She met Jack in the upstairs hallway. He was still half asleep with tears streaming down his face. Anna immediately pulled him into her arms, rubbing his back and whispering soothingly into his ear. Will passed them quietly on his way to Jack's room to check on Henry.

Anna say down on the floor in the hallway and pulled Jack onto her lap. "Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

Jack nodded miserably. "We were in our old house and I couldn't find Daddy. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find him. And, then, there was a monster chasing me. He grabbed me and I woke up!"

"You're safe, Jack," Anna told him, giving him a squeeze. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Daddy is going to let anything happen to you. It was really scary what happened in your old house, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Jack laid his head against her shoulder. He picked up her finger and began to play with it.

"That man is gone, Jack. He can't hurt you. He can't hurt Daddy. He's never coming back."

"He hurt Mommy."

"I know. He was a very bad man." Anna paused. "Do you want to talk about your mommy?"

Jack shook his head. "Can I call Daddy?"

"Of course." Anna pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Hotch's number before handing the phone to Jack.

Hotch answered his phone without looking at the caller ID. "Hotchner."

"Daddy?" Jack sniffed.

"Hi, buddy. Is everything okay? Does Anna know you're calling?"

"She said I could. I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Jack shook his head again, even though Hotch couldn't see him. "I already told Anna. Daddy, when are you coming home?"

"I'm not sure. It won't be for a few days. I still have a bad man to catch."

"Okay."

"How about when I come back, we spend the whole day together, just you and me. We can do anything you'd like."

"Can we go to Funland?"

"Sure," Hotch agreed.

"Can we invite Miss JJ and Henry?" Jack asked, excitedly, shaking off the last of his nightmare.

Anna chuckled at glee. She glanced up to see Will standing there, looking down at them. He had a muddled look on his face. "Henry still asleep?"

"Yeah. I don't think he even moved. That kid sleeps through everything." Will sat down on the floor, too. "Everything okay with Jack?"

"Just a nightmare. Not really surprising given the anniversary of Haley's death is coming up."

Will opened his mouth to say more, but shut it again when Jack asked, "Daddy, can I talk to my JJ? Hi, Miss JJ! Are you helping Daddy catch the bad guy?"

Anna felt herself blush as she realized that Will was staring at her. She narrowed her eyes in amusement. "What?"

"You're really hoping for Hotch and JJ to get together, aren't you?" he questioned, his voice strained.

Anna's smile disappeared as she bit her bottom lip. She shifted awkwardly, glancing at Jack to make sure he was still on the phone and not paying attention to their conversation. She spoke slowly. "I think they could be good for each other, just like I think you and Holly are good for each other."

"Huh." Waves of confusion rushed over Will's face, but he held no anger.

"I think that they understand each other in a way that nobody else does. He was the only one she told about your break-up. She's the only one he talks to about his fears; the only one he'll be vulnerable with."

"They do like spending time together. They always have. It should have made me worry, but I knew neither of them would do anything while we were together."

"I'm sorry if this is awkward for you," she told him, sincerely.

Will rubbed his face with his hands. "Nothing with JJ and I has ever been normal so it's not really surprising that our break-up isn't either. It doesn't really feel awkward. I've always thought Hotch was a good guy."

"If it helps any, Hotch has already put the kibosh on even the idea of them dating. He told me in no uncertain terms to back off."

"Well, if it helps any," Will teased, slapping her hand with his, "I hope it works out; whatever it is."

"Penelope might be right. You might just be the perfect guy."

Will scoffed. "Not even a little. It's really just selfishness on my part. Hotch works the same hours as JJ; longer even. And Hotch knows what it's like to not see your son. If JJ and Hotch got together, I wouldn't have to worry about someone trying to take my place in Henry's life. So, really, it's all about me."

Will and Anna both laughed. Anna shook her head. "All the same, I'll keep any thoughts of Hotch and JJ far away you."

"I'd appreciate that," Will told her earnestly. "I'm only okay with all of this to a point."

"All done," Jack announced, handing Anna back her phone. "Can I watch TV?"

"Absolutely not. Time for bed," Anna told him as he pouted. She returned to the hallway to find Will waiting there a short time later. "He was out not even a minute after his head hit the pillow."

"He's a good kid," Will commented, following Anna down the stairs. He nearly toppled her when she stopped at the bottom of the stairs suddenly. Anna burst into peals of laughter while Will groaned when Kevin and Garcia hastily sprung apart from each other.

"Do you guys need some, uh, privacy?" Anna asked.

Garcia blushed to her roots. "Everything okay up there?"

"Yeah, just a bad dream. Nothing that a phone call to Daddy couldn't fix." Anna shot a glance to Will. He smiled at her, but allowed her not to elaborate.

"Poor little guy," Kevin sighed. "What are they doing to commemorate the, um, anniversary?"

Anna sat down and took a sip of her wine. "I'm not really sure. I know Hotch wants it to just be the two of them all day. I believe they're going to visit the cemetery. I don't know what else."

"We are talking about something happier," Garcia ordered them. Anna and Will shared a look of amusement while Kevin grimaced. Garcia rubbed her hands together. "When do we get to meet Miss Holly?"

"Uh, well, um," Will stuttered, heat rising from the back of his neck.

"Are you bringing her to Hotch's Holiday Party?" Garcia continued. Jack insisted that the only thing he wanted for Christmas was a party with his JJ and his uncle Spencer and all his other "superhero" friends. Hotch suspected that Anna was behind it (she wasn't; he had gotten the idea from a Christmas special), but had yet to prove it.

"No," Will told her. "I'm actually going to her parents'. We leave Christmas afternoon. JJ, Henry, and I are spending the morning together."

"Wow. Meeting the parents already. Must be getting serious," Kevin teased. They all laughed as Will's blush became more pronounced.

"Uh, I guess. I just know I like spending time with her."

"Aw," Garcia cooed. "Has she met my little angel boy?"

Will nudged Anna when he saw her spare cell phone light up. "Not yet. I don't want to bring anyone into Henry's life until I know they're going to be around for awhile. I mean, Holly and I have known each other all that long."

"Everything okay?" Kevin asked Anna. She was frowning at her phone, tension rolling off of her body.

"Just somebody I wish would stop calling." Anna shook herself to break her melancholy. "You know, we really should organize a trip out so that Holly, Penelope, and Kevin can all meet each other. Then, after you introduce her to Henry, she can start coming to our Widows' Club."

"Oh, yeah. That sounds like fun. I'll bring the new girlfriend to the ex-girlfriend's boss' house to meet the ex-girlfriend's best friend."

"Always the sass with you," Anna shot back, causing them all to laugh again.

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"Hey, Hotch, you about ready to go back to the hotel?" JJ asked, sticking her head into the conference room.

Hotch looked up from the pile of papers he was shifting through and blinked a few times to focus on her face. "Uh..."

"It's getting late. Everyone else is already gone."

"You waited for me?" Hotch felt a warmth spread through his chest at the thought of her sticking around solely for him.

"Let's just say that I was worried that you wouldn't leave if someone didn't force you. Come on." JJ jerked her head, causing the highlights in her hair to shimmer in the light.

Hotch closed the file in front of him and wordlessly followed her out of the conference room, through thepolice station, and into the last rental car. He chuckled quietly when she crowded him out of the driver's side. Hotch lay his head against the head rest, staring at the buildings that past as JJ drove. He was aware of the concerned looks she was passing him, but he chose not to comment.

"How have Jack's nightmares been?" JJ asked after five minutes of silence.

Hotch turned his head to face her. "He's had at least one nightmare every night for the last three weeks. Sometimes, they're not that bad and sometimes, he wakes up screaming in terror. He seems to be doing okay during the day, though. He... asks about Haley more often and he's been watching home movies more often. Anna says he wants hugs and kisses a lot more than normal and that he doesn't stray farther than ten feet from her."

"It'll fade. He's a strong kid. He has a lot of people that love him."

"He's preoccupying his time by planning for the Christmas party. I'm going to kill Anna for putting that idea in his head."

JJ cringed. "Uh, about that... I'm pretty sure that wasn't Anna's fault."

Hotch frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Remember the day that Jack came over a few weeks ago to hang out with Henry and I? We watched Christmas movies all day. One of the movies had a Christmas party and Jack fell in love with the idea."

"So, it's all your fault," Hotch told her with mock annoyance.

JJ bit her lower lip to stop from smiling. "Sorry."

"It's okay. That reminds me, I promised Henry that I'd get him a 'Fireman Sam' DVD."

"That's just cruel!" JJ grew serious once again. "How are your nightmares?"

"What makes you think I've been having nightmares?" Hotch sighed, when she waited him out. "I've had a couple, but they haven't been that bad, not like they were before. I think I'm starting to forgive myself."

JJ grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his. "You have nothing to be forgiven for."

Hotch squeezed her hand in thanks, pleasantly surprised when she didn't release his hand. Hotch sighed internally knowing he shouldn't be holding her hand; that all the reasons he told Anna a couple of months earlier still stood. But here, on this case, in this car, hundreds of miles away from his son, as the anniversary of Haley's death loomed, he was simply grateful for the human contact.

"You know," JJ spoke, drawing Hotch from his thoughts, "that offer to call me anytime doesn't just apply to Jack. You can call me anytime about anything."

"Thanks," Hotch told her, shooting her a lopsided grin.

JJ reluctantly let of Hotch's hand as they pulled into the hotel parking lot. She snagged his elbow as they entered the hotel. They both paused, glancing around the hotel lobby. It was empty sans a lone employee at the front desk. It was decorated from one end to the other in preparation of Christmas. Hotch doubted Santa's Workshop had more holiday fanfare.

"I know it's not... appropriate, exactly, because you're my boss," JJ told him, slowly, "but over the last year, you've become my best friend; the one I share with more than anyone. I... I just thought you should know that."

Hotch took a deep breath following her into the hotel elevator. "For what it's worth, you've become my best friend, too. Good luck with that, by the way."

JJ bumped him with her shoulder playfully. "So, best friend, do you think you can let Jack drop the 'Miss' from in front of my name?"

"It makes you feel old, doesn't it?"

JJ scrunched up her face. "Incredibly, though it beats when I was 'Miss Jareau.' That made me feel like an old schoolteacher."

"Jack can call you 'JJ' if you'd like," Hotch agreed, trying to mentally beat down the image of JJ as a naughty schoolteacher. They stood in the hallway outside of Hotch's hotel door. "Can you have everyone gather downstairs for breakfast at 7:30? I want to go over a few things before we head back to the station."

"Sure." JJ reached up and grabbed his shoulders before he had a chance to turn from her. Using his shoulders for leverage, she reached up and kissed him, letting her lips linger just a bit. Hotch tensed and she pulled back slightly, taking in his terrified eyes with amusement. JJ glanced up, causing Hotch to also glance up.

"Mistletoe, Hotch," JJ informed him with a smirk. "They're on all the doors. Clearly, this hotel really goes all out for the holidays."

"Oh," Hotch replied, his voice a curious mixture of relief and disappointment, which did not go unnoticed.

JJ patted his arm. "It's just tradition, Hotch."

Hotch grabbed her arms as she began to pull away. He planted a kiss firmly on her lips, taking the time to feel the shape, relish their softness. JJ gasped in surprise. Hotch smiled as he pulled away, sheepishly offering up only, "Tradition."

"Good night, Hotch," JJ said, biting her lower lip as she turned away.

"Good night."

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Anna inhaled deeply standing out the coffee shop where JJ had asked to meet her. The coffee shop was slightly packed with holiday shoppers. Anna felt her pulse pick up at the crowd and fought the urge to flee. But JJ had sounded near desperate when she called, which both piqued Anna's interest and made her nervous JJ's behalf. Anna took another breath before forcing herself through the door and to the table where JJ waited.

"Hey."

"Anna, hi!" JJ nearly shouted when Anna sat down. "I'm so glad you could meet me."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "Uh, is everything okay, JJ? You seem a little... tense."

"I have a little situation at work."

"Uh, wouldn't someone at work be better for helping with this?" Anna asked her, confused. She took the hot chocolate that JJ had ordered from the waitress with a "thank you" and a smile.

JJ squirmed uncomfortably and absently scratched the back of her head. "It's personal and I can't talk to anyone on the team about it. I don't want them to know. Ugh. I don't want anyone to know. I can't believe this is happening to me."

"JJ, it's just me. What's going on?" Anna's voice held a hint of whimsy over JJ's distress.

"I think I have a crush on Hotch."

Anna blinked at her a few times.

"Well, aren't you going to say something?"

"You think this is news to me?"

"What? You know? How do you know? Who else knows? I can't have people knowing this. Oh, I can't believe this is happening to me." JJ's cheeks tinged pink as panic set in.

"Okay, calm down. Maybe switch to decaf." Anna chuckled a little, but JJ just looked at her with wide eyes. "I spend a lot of time with you guys in a non-professional setting; I've seen it. To my knowledge, no one on your team has picked up on it."

Anna deliberately hid the conversations that she and Reid had had about Hotch and JJ. JJ was alarmed enough. It was true enough that no one else had said anything to her.

JJ groaned. "What am I suppose to do? He's my boss. It's bad enough that he's my friend."

"Did something happen on this last case?" Anna asked, studying JJ. "You've had this crush for a few months now at least, but you've never seemed to be worried about it before. In fact, you seemed to gleefully live in bliss."

"I may have told him that he's my best friend and he may have told me the same." JJ bit her lip, nervously. "And then I may have kissed him under some mistletoe and he may have kissed me back. Stop smiling like that!"

Anna clamped her hand over her mouth to hide her grin. She took in JJ's agony and decided to take pity on her. "It's mistletoe, JJ. It's not a big deal. None of this has to be a big deal if you don't want it to be."

"It doesn't?"

"People have crushes all the time without acting on them."

"I know," JJ, but looked unconvinced.

"You could distance yourself, but I think that would just hurt you, Hotch, and the boys. Just go on the way you have been and everything will sort itself out."

JJ sighed in relief. "I can do that. I just have to avoid mistletoe."

"So, what was it like kissing Hotch anyway?"

"It was like flirting with danger and coming home all in one. I could easily get addicted to it." JJ's blush returned full force. "But I can't. I can't risk our careers. I can't risk our friendship. I can't risk the boys' feelings. I just can't."

"That's a lot of can'ts."

"Sometimes, it feels like my whole life is a series of can'ts."

"JJ-"

"Did you know that Hotch thinks you put Jack up to the Christmas party?" JJ interrupted, her eyes pleading with Anna to let her change the subject.

Anna smiled, trying to cover up her concern. The conversation had given her JJ's fears, if nothing else. "I can't really blame him. That completely sounds like something I would do."

"Sadly, this one is all my fault. See, Jack, Henry, and I..." JJ's voice trailed off when she saw Anna grimace as a man brushed up against her back as he passed their table. "Are you okay?"

Anna nodded, trying to calm her shaking. "It's usually fine. I just didn't see him; wasn't prepared."

"What do you say we get out of here? Go do some shopping? You can help me pick something out for Hotch that says 'I'm your best friend and I may have a crush on you, but I can't do anything about it so here's a nice, platonic gift, bestie.'"

"Oh, that should be easy." Anna and JJ chuckled the entire way out of the coffee shop.

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Anna smiled faintly when she reached the top of the stairs later that same night. Hotch was leaning against Jack's bedroom door frame, watching him sleep. She put a hand gently on his arm to alert him to her presence before standing next to him. Jack was curled tightly in his bed, clutching his dinosaur, but his face was surprisingly calm.

"How'd it go today?"

Hotch sighed, wearily. "Not as bad as I feared. There were some tears and lots of questions."

"Heaven?"

Hotch nodded.

"He's been talking a lot about Heaven lately. How are you holding up?"

"Better than I expected, but I got my feelings out a couple of months ago remember?"

Anna shot him a half smile. "There's always more feelings, Mr. Profiler."

"I miss her." Hotch shrugged. "Even at our worst, I never wished her out of my life. She was a great mom. Jack just adored her. She died for him and he's only going to know her through stories and videos."

"It's more than a lot of kids get. He has you and me and Sean and Jessica and JJ and a million other people who love and adore him."

"I'm not so sure having me as a father is doing him much good."

Anna narrowed her eyes. "You're a great father. You were a good husband."

"I was a terrible husband," Hotch countered, half rolling his eyes.

"For Haley." Anna sighed at the look he shot her. "You were a terrible husband for Haley and Haley was a terrible wife for you."

"Explain," Hotch demanded, keeping his voice low as to not disturb Jack's slumber.

"You and Haley loved each other very much, but you did not see each other, not really. She wanted the version of you that worked a high profile job and came home every day by six. You wanted the version of her that was happy to go days and occasionally weeks without seeing each other. That's not who either of you were." Anna took a deep breath, taking in Hotch's defeated stance. "But you both love Jack more than anything in world. He knows that; he'll always know that."

"Is that enough? Haley made me promise to show him love. How am I going to do that?"

"You show him love every day. Jack knows how much you love him. One day, you are going to fall in love again. This time, you'll know what to look for. You'll fall in love with someone who understands you, who loves you for you, not for the idealized version of you."

Hotch bumped her playfully. "When did you get so smart?"

"I've always been smart, Hotch. You're just finally starting to listen to me." Anna squeezed his arm, lovingly. "I'm heading to bed. We've got to plan that Christmas party, which wasn't my doing, by the way!"

"I know. It was all JJ's fault. Don't worry. I'll help plan it."

"Of course, you will," Anna said, heading down the hall towards her bedroom. "It was JJ's idea."

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Author's Note: So, now, we have Hotch resolving most of his issues, JJ revealing her feelings and her issues, and active plotting by Anna. The Christmas Party is up next. Stay tuned!