A/N: Please forgive me on the delay with this chapter. I've been busy with work, my shift at the hospital, getting accepted to medical school (yay me ^_^) and SMT: Devil Summoner. Seriously, that game is so addictive.

In Me It Shows

Chapter 7: Secrets

By an unspoken agreement the pair retreated to the hill overlooking the town. The day care was thankfully closed that day and no one was around to disturb them as they settled under the gazebo. The silence between them was driving Kanji mad, but each time he opened his mouth to end it, he found his throat dry on words. He growled quietly for the umpteenth time as he continued to run his fingers through Naoto's hair. She herself hadn't even attempted to say a word since leaving the doctor's office though now she was perfectly still on top of that, save for her breathing. Had she fallen asleep?

Kanji looked down at Naoto. Her head was settled on his lap, eyes closed, her hat removed and resting on her stomach while both of her hands were clasped upon it. She certainly seemed asleep, but no, her breathing was a bit too fast for that. She was lost in thought, a trance nearly as deep as slumber and Kanji was not about to disturb her, though he wished she would just tell him what was wrong. Her persistent silence was really starting to worry him.

"It has a heartbeat."

Her voice was quiet and controlled but the abruptness was enough to startle him. The lack of any change in her expression was another point of concern, but at least she was speaking. "Yeah. Kid's growin' a lot faster than I expected." Kanji mumbled as he continued to stroke her hair. Her eyes blinked open at that and locked with his, holding his gaze for a brief moment as she sighed. "Whas' wrong?" he asked.

She bit her lip. Her head rolled slightly as she turned away from him to stare at the autumn leaves that fluttered in the wind. Her jaw clenched, relaxing only when she gave another heavy sigh. "When I saw it, it was as though the whole magnitude of this situation came crashing down on me. It was one thing to see the positive test result, but to have actually seen it . . . seen the heart beating . . . this is real." Her fingers clenched, crinkling her hat in her grasp. "I'm really going to be bringing someone into the world . . . and it scares me."

"You ain't the only one." He cupped her cheek and gently brought her gaze back to him. "This is a big deal. It's 'lright to be scared."

"Are you afraid?" she whispered, to which he nodded.

"Scared shitless. But ya got me. Everything'll be fine."

Naoto sighed. "It was easier to think that before . . ."

"Does it make it any less true?"

"Kanji-kun, I – I don't think we fully understood what we were dealing with at the time. I have feeling things are only going to get worse -"

"Don't say that!" Kanji snapped. "Things ain't gonna get worse. We just . . ." He let out a gruff scoff and roughly combed his hand through his hair. "Look, we're both kinda freaked out right now. Let's just give it a few days to sink in and we'll be able to think clearly again.

Naoto closed her eyes, resigning herself with a soft breath. "You may be right."

"Kanji! Naoto-kun!"

They both looked up at the voice. Hurried footsteps accompanied it and the crunch of fallen leaves beneath them grew louder. Naoto sat up and put her hat back on, both watching as Rise ran up to the gazebo. She waved to them as she approached, clasping her school bad behind her as she stopped before them. "I had a feeling you guys would be here. How'd everything go?" She grinned, but only briefly as the solemn looks on their faces caused it to slide from her face. "Hey, what's wrong?" She looked expectantly between the two of them and grew tense at their silence. "C'mon, you guys are scaring me."

"There's nothing exactly wrong, Rise-chan." Naoto started. "We just had a surprise today."

"A surprise?" Rise blinked. "A good one I hope."

"Well - we got to see the baby on the ultrasound today."

Rise's eyes widened. "You did?"

"Yes. We . . . have a picture." Naoto numbly reached in her school bag and shuffled through the various papers within. It was clear by her limp movements that she was thoroughly lost and overwhelmed. Kanji only watched, a similar feeling welling within him as she took the print out from the ultrasound, staring at it with a glazed expression before handing it to Rise. The idol sat down beside her and smiled lightly at the picture in her hands. "So this is the little guy . . . or girl." She said, but frowned, her eyes narrowing as she brought the picture closer to her face. "It's too bad you can't really tell what it looks like."

"Ain't there some drawings in that book the doc gave us?" Kanji said.

"Oh, I believe so." Naoto blinked, reaching back into her school bag. "Let me see." A few moments of fishing later produced the book in question. It was elaborate, rather thick, detailing the stages of pregnancy week by week, and a far cry from something Naoto actually wanted to read. Kanji had given the book a quick skim through while at the doctor's office but she turned away. Her body had been through quite enough changes as far as she was concerned. The last thing she wanted was to see everything she was to experience written out in detail before her – as though it were some sort of twisted prophecy.

The rational part of her reminded her that she'd need to read it eventually, that she'd need to be aware of everything she was going through and what to expect down the line if she and the child were to be healthy. With a sigh to choke back her reluctance, she opened the book and browsed to the chapter which pertained to her current stage.

Week six; fetal age four weeks – and taking up an entire page was a detailed picture of a fetus in that very stage.

"It looks kinda like a salamander."

Naoto blinked, raising a brow as she looked at Rise. "Salamander?"

"A cute salamander, I mean." She smiled. "Oh hey, look." She pointed to a tiny picture in the lower corner of the page. Though it lacked detail due to its size, it was clearly a much smaller version of the large sketch on the page with the words "Actual Size" printed beside it. Rise pinched her fingers around the picture, cooing as it was easily the size of a pea, if not smaller. "Wow, it's so tiny. Doesn't seem like it'd be this small on the ultrasound."

Kanji nodded, adding , "Yeah – we even got to see the kid's heart beatin'."

"No way! Really?!" Rise gaped, to which Naoto found herself chuckling. The expression on her face was something else and she wondered if that was how she and Kanji had looked at the time. They way she had felt, however, that was something she didn't think she'd ever forget and before she knew it, she was whispering, "My own heart was pounding the entire time."

Surprised by her own words, she blinked her eyes open, only then realizing she had allowed them to close. Her eyes fluttered as she looked back down at the book in her hands before quickly tearing her gaze away from it, feeling an odd twinge in her chest all the while.

"Awe, you must be falling in love." Rise cooed suddenly and Naoto gave her a confused look. "You know – with your salamander."

Naoto swallowed hard at that, looking down as her fingers lightly brushed her stomach. ". . . you may be right."

-----

This never happened. Naoto never just let Kanji walk her home. Not without at least a little protesting on her part. She would usually give in, with a sigh, or roll of her eyes, sometimes even with a small smile but always looking pleased despite the fuss she made about it. On rare occasions she would even slip her hand into his or lean ever so slightly against his arm as they walked.

Today when he had said he would be walking her home, he mentally prepared for her resistance, but was surprised when she answered him with a nod. They had since parted ways with Rise and everything was gathered back in her school bag so she simply stuck close to him as they continued to walk in silence. She made no noise of protest or contentment when he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, but he could tell she appreciated the gesture by the way her body relaxed and her head rested against his arm. This was notably more comfortable than their walk from the doctor's office, but the tension was still there and clung to them right to the moment they arrived at the gates of the estate.

The arm that had been wrapped around her waist slipped away as they turned to face each other. Kanji rubbed the back of his neck, looking away briefly. "So, you feelin' better?"

"A little." She murmured, and truth be told that she was sounding a bit uplifted from earlier, but the somber tone was on her breath all the same as was the downcast look in her eyes and Kanji frowned.

"Try not to think so much 'bout it."

She scoffed. "Easier said than done."

"Yeah . . ." Kanji continued to rub his neck. "Call me if you need to talk or somethin'."

"I'll be sure to."

"Good." He nodded, tilting up her chin as he leaned down to kiss her. For that moment the downcast look in her eyes left as she closed them. They parted slowly, Kanji playfully brushing a tuft of her blue bangs back as he looked at her. "See ya tomorrow."

She nodded with a small smile. "Good bye, Kanji." He squeezed her hand, returning the grin as he gently allowed her fingers to slip from his. Naoto stayed as he turned to leave and watched his retreating form for a while before she entered her yard with a sigh. She felt beyond exhausted, no doubt due to the changes in her body, but the surprise from earlier that afternoon hadn't helped either. She entered her home, slipping off her shoes and covering her mouth as she yawned. A nap was sounding very good at the moment. It would certainly get her mind off of her situation. With that in mind she headed for the stairs, the thought of collapsing on her bed growing more enticing with each step.

"Welcome back, Shirogane-sama. What have you been up to?"

She choked back a gasp as she jumped. She whirled around, only now noticing her grandfather's secretary, Yakushiji, in the corridor. She let out a breath and willed her heart to calm from the mild start he had given her. "Good afternoon, Yakushiji-san. I apologize for not coming home right away, but I was studying with my friends in the library. We have exams in a few weeks."

He smiled. "That's quite all right, no need to apologize. I only hope you worked up an appetite. I've prepared your favorite for dinner."

Naoto gulped. "My-my favorite?" This . . . was not good. Sushi – California Rolls to be specific – had been her favorite food since she was old enough to eat it. She never passed up an opportunity to enjoy it but as luck would have it, it was also on the "what mamas-to-be CAN'T eat" list. Turning it down would raise suspicion, no doubt, but it wouldn't be worth the risk. That aside, the mere mention of it turned her stomach. Hm, perhaps she could play on that . . .

"Forgive me, Yakushiji-san, but I've been feeling ill as of late. I don't think my stomach can handle it right now."

Yakushiji frowned. "You're still feeling ill? Perhaps you should see a doctor."

'If only you knew, Yakushiji-san.' She sighed inwardly as she shook her head. "That won't be necessary. I'm sure this will pass on its own."

"But, Shironage-sama . . ."

"I'll be all right. Please excuse me. I need to rest." Without a single pause she continued up the stairs, though she felt badly about cutting him off. It wasn't polite after all. He would forgive her, she truly wasn't feeling well, and she could apologize later if necessary.

"Your grandfather's worried."

She stopped at that, halted more so by the tone of his voice than his actual words.

"He's noticed your recent weight loss and lack of appetite. He asked me to make your favorite tonight in hopes that you would eat something."

Naoto bit her lip and looked away. Her grandfather – how could she have forgotten? Of course he was worried. He had no idea. She would have to tell him eventually and . . . Naoto closed her eyes tightly as she grimaced. To say he would be disappointed would be an understatement, but how exactly would he react? Would he be ashamed? Horrified? Was it possible that he would even go as far as to disown her?

If Naoto hadn't lost her appetite before, she certainly had now, but she was being unfair. She had worried her grandfather and Yakushiji enough. It wouldn't hurt to eat a little something. Besides, the doctor told her she needed to gain weight. "May I have soup instead, Yakushiji-san?" She asked, to which he looked all too relieved. He nodded with a smile and turned to prepare her meal, though she pursed her lips, wondering just how she could possibly keep any of it down now.

-----

Dinner was not quite as uncomfortable as Naoto had expected. Her grandfather had kept an eye on her, no doubt to ensure that she was eating, but he had not questioned her on her behavior as of yet. For her part she had attempted to keep up a decent pace with her eating though she ended up staring at her soup and stirring it restlessly in between the few spoonfuls she ate. Should she just tell him now and get it over with? They were alone. Now would be as good a time as any. But how would she even begin to tell him?

"Oh, hello Grampa. School went well today. By the way, I'm pregnant. Can you pass the butter, please?"

Naoto barely stifled a groan as she pressed her lips into a thin line. Regardless of when and how she broke the news it sure to be was a disaster, but there had to be a way to soften the blow. Perhaps if she could somehow find the right way to tell him, he wouldn't be too angry with her.

"What troubles you, Naoto?"

She jerked, startled by the sudden question. She met her grandfather's gaze, though only for a moment before she looked back at her barely eaten soup and murmured, "Nothing troubles me, Grampa. I'm just not feeling well."

"You never have such a deep and serious look about you when it's only illness. There is something bothering you."

She swallowed hard, saying nothing as she continued to stir her soup.

"I trust you're keeping your grades up."

"Of course."

"Then does this perhaps involve your relationship with Tatsumi-san?"

"Huh!?" Her head shot up, eyes wide as a deep blush spread over her face. "Uh . . . I . . .n-no, Grampa. It's nothing like that . . ." She bowed her head, taking shelter behind the brim of her hat as her grandfather chuckled.

"You always get so flustered when I mention that boy. I'm glad you've found someone who can make you happy."

'I doubt you'll be so pleased when you find out I'm with his child.' She glumly returned to stirring her soup around, occasionally scooping up a spoonful only to overturn it and listen to it trickle back into the bowl. Her eyes clenched shut, unseen by her grandfather, as even her hat couldn't stop the feeling of his gaze upon her. There was silence as he waited for her to speak, but what should she say? She couldn't tell him, not now, and not like this. There was a better way, though she hadn't the foggiest as to what that may be, but it didn't feel right to keep it a secret from him. Especially when his only drive for an answer from her was concern for her wellbeing.

He spared her a moment later with something that sounded like a resigned sight, but it was too quiet for her to tell. "If you don't wish to talk about it, then I won't press the issue, provided you start taking better care of yourself. You need to eat."

"Yes, I know." She murmured. "I apologize. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Just take care of yourself and be healthy in both body and mind, that's all I ask." He said, and she could almost feel his eyes soften. "And know that whatever may trouble you, you can always confide in me."

She cringed, biting tightly on her spoon to cope with the horrid feeling cutting through her. Though the gentle tone in his voice had always brought comfort, today it made her feel sick in knowing that he loved and trusted her, and she was about to break his heart.

". . .I know, Grampa."

-----

A/N: Again, I'm really sorry for the wait. I wasn't really sure what direction to take this chapter so I had to throw a few things at the wall to see what stuck. I'm actually a bit pleased with the way this turned out and I hope you all are too.

In regards to sushi - I've heard conflicting things regarding whether or not pregnant women should eat sushi. Some experts say to avoid it, others say a little here and there is all right. Some mothers have said that they ate sushi while pregnant with no negative effects on either themselves or their children. But that being said, for all intents and purposes in this story sushi is on the foods to avoid list – so please no reviews saying "I know someone who ate sushi while pregnant and nothing bad happened." Good, I'm glad nothing bad happened, but in this story eating sushi while pregnant is a negative. So if I'm somehow asking you to extend your belief for the purpose of the plot, I'll remind you that Persona 4 is about a group of teenagers that go inside a TV to fight monsters.

Okay, I didn't mean to drabble on that much about it. Again, my apologies for the wait and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review.