A/N
Italics means memory!
ALSO SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 12
He had been weak. After he had found out he had gotten sixth place in last years Grand Prix, and ran to the bathroom to cry, to sob in a dirty stall surrounded by no one and no prize, he felt completely and utterly weak. When he just wished Viktor could've noticed him - because after years of idolizing him, he finally got to compete on the same ice as the Russian - he instead got acknowledged in the worst way possible, via being asked by Viktor if he wanted a photo with him. As if he was just some fanboy and not a competitor.
He was upset because after training so hard for so much of his life, he had failed so spectacularly, he wasn't even sure he could ever return to the ice with such a colossal failure. Just the thought of it made him want to curl in a ball and hide somewhere.
He found his confidence in his ice skating. If he couldn't do that, then could he do anything at all?
The world must be laughing at him now.
Yuri thought back to this moment, when he felt his world come crashing down around him and he felt like he was drowning under the weight of his own mistakes. He wished he could show the Yuri Katsuki of one year ago the Yuri Katsuki of this year, and assure him that things will get so much better. His confidence, relationships, family, friends. All of it gets so, so much better.
A year ago, he thought he would've been retired by now, and possibly moved on to do something with his college degree he felt no passion for, and probably have gotten fat and succumbed to the inevitable loneliness he would've felt. Live with his parents for the rest of his life. Watch as his family and friends outgrow him for new and better things, because by this point, Yuri Katsuki would surely be old news. He would fade into the background like an old stain, just like he once thought he deserved.
But instead, here he was, celebrating with Viktor, the man who both taught and inspired him to get silver (and hopefully someday gold) in the Grand Prix Finals, and who has showed him how to love and be loved, in both a romantic and sexual sense, in ways he never knew before. Here he was, with the friends and family who had not outgrown him and had cheered and supported him every step of the way, with love and support he didn't even know they had for him. Here he was, following his dreams and pushing through like he had never done in his life. It was both terrifying and exhilarating.
He had Viktor to thank for all of this. So he told Viktor exactly that.
Viktor's face immediately twisted into a frown. "Yuri, while I'm proud I was able to coach you, it wasn't all me to be thanked." Yuri tilted his head in confusion. "Look into yourself Yuri and think."
"Viktor, I-I don't understand." Yuri was trying to figure out what Viktor was seeming to imply, but he was too mentally fatigued from the competition to sort through any questions. "My...family?"
Viktor quietly laughed into his hand and shook his head. His eyes were piercing into Yuri's, as if he could read his thoughts, his confusion. "Of course they helped. But who got you up in the morning to practice?"
"My alarm clock?"
"The alarm clock was an aid, Yuri, but who got you to get up and run over to the practice rink every morning?"
"Me?" Oh.
"Yes, precisely." Viktor's hands were suddenly on Yuri's shoulders and their faces were much closer. So much so that if Phicit were to walk in, surely pictures would be taken. "Yuri, while I, and many others got you to the point of competing, it was you who paved your way to the silver medal. You could've given up months ago if you wanted." His voice was barely above a whisper, but his message came across crystal clear. Yuri felt a grin stretch across his face and in a bout of enthusiasm he wrapped his arms around Viktor and rested his face on the neck of Viktor's coat.
"Thank you Viktor, but I still have a long way to go."
Viktor easily returned the tight hug, and completely unaware that Phicit and a few young teens were off in the distance taking photos of the two of them, said, "And I'll make sure to be there with you every step of the way."
A/N
ASdlfgkhjgkl; I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It's shorter, first of all, and I dearly hope I didn't write either of them out of character. I wanted to portray Yuri's insecurities about himself, but how he's gotten a fair amount of them, and Yuri from a year ago vs. now.
I edited this chapter a lot, and I'm not all that satisfied with it but oh well.
I promise my writing will improve. Please bare with me.
Also happy holidays! (Only 4 more days till Viktor's birthday! Also should I go back to spelling Viktor with a C?
I 'c' everyone using it, even the people who sub the episodes, so maybe I will...
Anyways please please review!
