Disclaimer - I do not own the Teen Titans.

Author's Note - Jinx may seem a little out of character here but I thought underneath everything she'd cling to the one stable thing she had in her life. At least for a while. Even strong people can lose controls of their emotions and sense.

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Once Jinx had escaped a collapsing construction site without it turning her into pulp amid explosions and starbolts. She also had broken out of jail with nothing but a bobby pin and her hair tie and stayed free with an active warrant for over a year. Finally, managed to change the options of over fifty Titans, including the core five to believing she had changed from villain to hero. She had thought that would be the hardest, most emotionally draining thing she'd ever have to deal with in her life but she was wrong.

Watching the back of him had been the thing that broke her.

Kid Flash had left over a year ago. There hadn't been any dramatic arguments, other women or pleas for him to stay. She still had some pride despite her shifting cloak. They had simply grown apart as time moved forward. He had decided to leave superhero work full time to enroll in University for the Physics program. Jinx herself remained a crime fighter, and while physical distance had never been a issue (all he had to do was blink and he'd be home) their emotional turmoil had killed the love between them. She didn't understand him anymore, and everyday things grew quiet and strange. After a while, he had packed up his things and moved across the country to Standford and while they promised to remain friendly, she hadn't allowed things to fall that way.

At first she was bitter and avoided him for spite. How dare he promise her the world with his charming smiles and silly jokes and grow into a man who cared only for his own interests? It wasn't as if she was known for her forgiving nature. Jinx had turned him away, ignoring his offers of coffee and outstretched hands. She'd changed the frequency of her communicator, moved to a new apartment and called it done.

Who needed him anyway? Jinx had groomed herself from childhood to function alone. In those days memories flashed by her without warning. She'd be in line to purchase groceries and see his long body stretched out in a bathtub, sighing as she massaged his aching legs. Ducking to avoid a sweeping arc of Heat Wave's power and picturing the shape of Wally's hands as he stirred pasta sauce. Jinx would lie in bed at night, exhausted from a long day and want nothing but to sleep only to hear the soft puffs of his breathing through the darkness. She'd open her eyes and there wouldn't be anyone there.

Those things did nothing but make her worn and angry. He had been the one to leave her, she shouldn't live in suspension like that. It hadn't been what she wanted. Why? Why did it become her problem?

Crime in Keystone City went down 2.8% in those two quarters.

That had lasted close to six months before the absence of him carved a deep and cavernous hole in what remained in her heart. She was in absolute control of her powers, her hero work remained flawless but her personal life went to hell. Jinx couldn't sleep, she couldn't talk to the Titans anymore at their meetings because they'd casually drop his name and it would feel like bullet time until she could escape. His name would cause her stomach to roll. Seeing pictures of him would reduce her bowels to water. It never showed on the outside, not to anybody, but when she was alone she'd curl into herself and dream about going back.

Jinx never imagined the depth of that longing. She was a strong woman, she had done things people couldn't dream about. She was confident, beautiful but completely undone and helpless to the tide of her feelings.

At eight months she traveled to California to see him. She was fifteen pounds lighter then the day he left, now skinny to the point of recklessness. Jinx had never been good with words. She was good with raging, good with violence and an ace at cold silences but she knew, once she saw him she'd find a way to explain.

Except, Wally with his speed had moved on. She had found him easily enough, she knew his patterns and most everything about him after five years of togetherness. She hadn't expected the blonde of course. They were living together by the judge of the mailbox, the double shadows behind the lace curtains.

There had never been so much pain. Nauseous and reeling she'd throw up in the bushes to rid herself of the poison of memory, insides chewed up by glass and her mind clawing in panic and horror.

She could hear him as if he was whispering. She was the love of his life. He'd never slow down for anybody else. He'd never see anybody else. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to have children with her. He wanted her. Her. Her.

It had taken him less then eight months to forget about her. To move on and to be happy with somebody else, leaving her alone and miserable. Why did he get to have a full life, while she was scratching at the walls to stop herself from turning crazy? He had left...it had been him to kill it. It wasn't fair.

Jinx had ran away then, giant cracks splitting the sidewalk every time her boots hit the cement. She hadn't stopped running till she was safely back in Keystone City. When she fought against Kid Kool only a few hours after being there he had never such power in her before and was unable to escape the fluctuation. Leo had been put into intensive care for the first time in their back and forth relationship. He never faced her again.

Jinx lost control of her inhibitions then. Two, three, four, five men in rapid succession. Some she liked, others she didn't even remember their names. They were just bodies in the night. Warmth to her grey flesh, a temporary fill to the caverns of her body but never her heart. At night she dreamed of blue eyes and warm hands and woke up hating herself.

Some days she was an inch from throwing in the towel and smashing the door to a bank vault. Villains didn't need to live with hurt. They were the ones that hurt others.

She knew though, there could be no going back. As much as she wanted, as much as she tortured herself for the mistakes, time did not reset. She could no sooner be a criminal then she could Wally's wife. There was only the future when she decided to face it.

It had been a year now. The bright green leaves and the scent of flowers in high summer reminding her the day of his leaving. Things had been getting better for the ex-villain but she was nowhere near her old self. There were some good things though.

She slept now at night mostly. Some nights her new lover stayed, as he had been for the better part of three months and while she couldn't sit down and watch the Godfather, (Wally's favorite movie) she did laugh when her new man put on one of his comedies. There would be waves where she wouldn't think of Kid Flash at all and feel almost normal. In spare time she'd paint things that Wally would never see.

One day her phone rang and scrambling over a pile of unfolded laundry, she tipped it off it's cradle. "Hello?"

"Hey slowpoke."

The twisting in her stomach was a small shifting but nowhere near the typhoon it had been once. No panic, no need to flee. There was a sadness, deep and aching for lost things but manageable. He had promised her the world once, she had believed him once but she had been forcing herself to stop living in the past. She couldn't daydream. She knew this wasn't a phone call for him to declare his lost love for her and beg to return home. His girlfriend was probably cooking him dinner.

More then likely his kind heart had heard some rumors and wanted to check in on her.

She forced herself to swallow. There would be no begging. No pleas. No bitterness. She'd be the strong person, the independent person. She'd be okay. More then anything, she'd be okay.

"Hi, Wally."