Author's Note: Day 5 of the Twelve Days of Witchyness. I didn't have time to finish HTKM and I simply couldn't fail. Plus, this chapter is probably the first to have amused me. So.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I do not profit from this story.


Winging It

(Or How a Half-Demon Ruled the Underworld One Smirk at a Time)


Chapter Seven: Of Cries and Curses


"Holy shit you were right!" Sango yelled, looking to face Naraku. "How did you do that?"

"A vision, I told you I had a vision!" Naraku whined.

And now? Not so much the time for whining.

"What the fuck do we do?" Inuyasha screamed. Yes, screamed. You start being attacked by a fucking dragon and not scream. Go ahead. Try it. TRY IT YOU FUCKERS.

"Inuyasha, come on out!" The dragon laughed then, the voice so deep it sounded like an echo in a volcano. Which, really, was pretty close to accurate because dragons breathed fire and volcanoes had lava and really? When that shit's on you, you don't compare and contrast the differences while dying.

Which, he soon would be doing.

"Get me out of here!" Inuyasha started to run towards the back, because that was the best way, right?

Miroku didn't seem to think so. He grabbed Inuyasha's arm, pushing him into the wall. The wind from the dragon's wings or breath or whatever the hell the shit was coming from made it hard to hear. "YOU NEED TO RUN INTO THE OPEN FIELD!" Miroku shouted, looking very serious for the first time in the very long hour Inuyasha knew him. "YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME!"

"TRUST YOU? FUCK YOU!" Inuyasha shouted back. "NO FUCKING WAY!"

"DO IT! I'LL KILL THE DRAGON BUT YOU NEED TO RUN INTO THE FIELD AND LURE HIM TO MY TRAPS!"

Inuyasha was terrified. His knees were buckling, his body was shaking and he couldn't be sure but maybe he wasn't falling over due to the massive gushes of wind blowing through the house. It could just as likely be happening from his lack of spine, which ran out on him at the mention of dragon. "I CAN'T DO IT!" He was close to crying. Holy shit, he was going to do it. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

"YOU HAVE TO. I HAVE YOUR BACK INUYASHA!" Miroku yelled, pulling his one arm up in a salute. Why the hell he was saluting the half-demon was beyond all hope of reason. Inuyasha in particular thought it was more terrifying than reassuring. Aren't the heroes in movies that get saluted always the ones the die horribly to save their country? AREN'T THEY?

He didn't have time to contemplate it, because Miroku was suddenly grabbing his wrists and dragging him through rooms that were just too ugly to process. A back door was suddenly in sight, and despite the fact that Inuyasha dug in his heels, Miroku simply had the help of the wind to pull him forward. Inuyasha watched in horror as Miroku opened it, gesturing for the half-demon to run. "TRUST ME!"

Inuyasha shook his head, because no no no no nononononononono. This wasn't happening. Jesus lord, this wasn't happening. Oh god. Oh god. OH GOD.

Suddenly, as if meant to be, the wind picked up. Inuyasha had nothing holding him, nothing stopping him from flying through the open doorway. He landed on his face in the mud, outside in a field. He was going to die. He was going to die.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE INUYASHA!" Miroku screamed. "RUNNNN!"

And Inuyasha had no choice. He picked himself up and started to run into the open field. He could hear a deep laugh, the wind dancing around him like tornadoes. Oh god, the dragon was following him, wasn't it? OH GOD HE WAS GOING TO DIE. HE WAS TOO YOUNG. TOO YOUNG FOR THE WORLD TO HURT HIM SO.

He kept running, feeling his breath grow short, his body hurt. His lungs were screaming at him for more air but he couldn't get it, couldn't get enough of it. Inuyasha knew though that if he stopped he was dead meat. The dragon was going to eat him, just like Naraku had said. If only he had listened to that blue eye-shadow-wearing freak in the first place, maybe this wouldn't be going down. Maybe he would've hidden out with Kagome. Surely she stayed somewhere nice and safe, dragon free? Or maybe there was a dragon-free zone in Hell. If individuals could style their house like an 80's porno, surely to god there was a dragon-free zone. Dammit, he should've paid attention. If he could go back in time, he'd kiss Naraku and then run, run for the motherfucking hills.

He didn't think anything had been more terrifying than this moment. As a cop when he was alive, he had run into plenty of bad situations. There were crackheads and prostitutes and knife-wielding psychopaths and chicks that needed a head check as bad as they needed a shower. But this? Nothing could compare to this. Of course it would only happen in Hell, because Hell just loved to fuck with you. And it was fucking with Inuyasha alright. Up the fucking ass.

Inuyasha screamed again. He screamed until his throat was hoarse, hoping the cries would make him run harder, faster. Everything was black – maybe night in Hell finally settled in – and he couldn't see much. It was like a void, a dark endless void of death.

There was a boom, a crack, and suddenly everything was white. Inuyasha jumped into the air, terrified as his feet lost his footing on the way down. He crashed, falling, falling, falling and hitting the earth once more. Inuyasha rolled around on his back, golden eyes wide at what he saw.

The dragon was in the air, nearly above him. Fireworks burst into the sky – boom, boom, boom – one after the other. It was beautiful as much as it was fucking frightening. The dragon was massive, as wide as a football field's length and twice as long. The scales gleamed colours of reds, blues and greens as the fireworks continued to go off – boom, boom, boom.

This couldn't be happening. This plan couldn't actually be working.

Inuyasha tilted his head, seeing the mansion not too far away. In the light from the inside, he could see two figures stepping out, massive tubes on their shoulders. What the hell were they carrying?

"We're coming to save you Inuyasha!" Sango yelled, her voice somehow carrying over the booms and cracks of fireworks. Or maybe it was just his imagination. Very possibly it was his imagination.

"TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!"

Inuyasha watched as both Miroku and Sango got on one knee, the tubes aiming for the dragon in the sky. They didn't need to aim too much; if you missed a dragon of that size, you shouldn't be shooting anything. Then another crack could be heard, the sound of air whooshing as two objects flew through the sky.

Holy shit. Bazookas. Okay, maybe he had a chance of living after all.

The dragon roared as the bazooka missiles hit him, an explosion so massive filling the sky. Inuyasha could only lie there and take the scene in, hoping and praying that the dragon bit the dust.

Of course, what was up had to come down. And the dragon? It was right over top of him.

"OH MY GOD! HOLY FUCKER!" Inuyasha watched as the dragon fell. The wings were fanning out, useless as the massive creature plummeted back to the earth. If he thought he was dead before, he was certainly dead now. The dragon was going to undoubtedly crush him, and even if he got up and moved it wouldn't be far enough away.

Closing his eyes, Inuyasha prayed.

The crash of the dragon to the earth echoed through the land. The ground shook mightily, nearby trees collapsing and breaking. There were screams coming from the house, the high-pitched one most likely from Naraku, and Inuyasha tried not to think about how much he was going to miss that guy.

…How can you think if you're dead?

Inuyasha cracked an eye open, taking in his surroundings. There was nothing on top of him. There was…nothing on top of him. He looked up and–

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Inuyasha shrieked. Shrieked because the demon was looking at him straight in the eye. His mouth was partially open and oh god, the dragon survived fucking bazooka missiles so he was not going to die and Inuyasha was. The dragon didn't die but Inuyasha was going to and- and-

"Hello Inuyasha," the dragon said, mouth opening absurdly wide as it talked.

The half-demon was frozen in terror. "Wh-what?"

For a second, the dragon looked confused before shaking its massive head and trying again. Slowly, the tip of one of the dragon's massive claws came right in front of his face, so close he could feel the heat radiating off of it. "Hello Inuyasha, how do you do?"

Inuyasha didn't say how did he did, because he passed out is what the fuck what.


Comments to Acknowledge

InuKag4eva: Haha well I hope this...kind of not really sums it up? Thank you my dear :D


Feedback is appreciated :) Happy holidays everyone! Tons more to come.