A/N: Whoo! First chapter of the new year!

Randy: Glad the winter blues haven't hit you too hard yet. And that you don't have a spare copy of Sun or Moon for me to Nuzlocke.

A/N: YET.

Randy: You monster.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, only the characters I create and any additional character exploration.


Chapter 7: Epic Showdown! Zoro vs. Cabaji!


"The second shot is ready, Captain Buggy!" one of Buggy's crew said as the cannon was leveled to face another part of the city.

"Alright! Fire!" Buggy ordered. However, before they could…

"Come out, Buggy the Clown!" Boodle roared as he held his spear up towards the roof of the Drinker's Pub. He panted heavily from the running he did before starting again. "I am Mayor Boodle! This town is our treasure! I've come to protect it! Fight me!"

"What are you, stupid?!" Buggy snidely snipped. "Treasure is gold, silver, and jewels! This town, a treasure? Cut the crap!"

"You'd never understand how I feel!" Boodle realized from Buggy's words. However, he was cut off by a hand clamping around his throat and lifting him into the air.

"I'm soon going to conquer the Grand Line and flashily obtain all of the world's riches!" Buggy declared. "This world's riches are mine! No one else in this world needs treasure but me! If this town's so important to you, shall I destroy you with it?" Buggy grinned as his disembodied hand kept Boodle's throat in a deadly grip.

"Quit prattling and fight me!" Boodle demanded as he gasped for breath.

"Don't get cocky now!" Buggy mocked as he kept Boodle down, or rather up.

"I won't let you destroy this town! Even if it costs me my life!" Boodle choked out as Buggy's grip tightened.

"Fire!" Buggy ordered before he pulled back in pain from his phantom limb. Randy had separated Buggy's hand from the mayor's throat, and was currently crushing it in his own vice grip. "That straw hat guy?!" Buggy noticed that the straw-hat guy, Roronoa Zoro, and that thief Nami were all present.

"I'm here to kick your ass, just like I promised!" Randy announced as he could only grin at Buggy as he scowled at me. Randy eventually let his hand go and he called it back, flexing it soothingly.

"Straw Hat… How dare you just come waltzing back, to Captain Buggy!" Buggy snarled as he glared daggers at the straw hat-clad pirate.

"Listen! All I want is the map and the treasure!" Nami barked at Randy and Zoro.

"Yeah, I know," Zoro calmly commented with his eyes shadowed by his bandanna. Boodle stabilized himself on the ground as he coughed for air.

"Young'uns… what're you doing here?" Boodle asked the trio. "Stay out of this, you're outsiders!" He took another breath as Randy took a step over to him. "This is my fight! I will protect my town!" He grabbed his spear and stood up and glared at Nami and Zoro. "I don't need your meddling!"

"My apologies Mayor," Randy said as he grabbed the side of Boodle's neck. "But you need a nap." Randy pinched where he was grabbing and the Mayor's eyes rolled back into his head.

"R-Randy?!" Nami yelped as Randy gently guided Boodle to the ground. "What the hell was that?!"

"I just put him to sleep for a bit," Randy said, Nami relieved once she heard the Mayor breathing peacefully. "He'll just get himself hurt if he tries to fight Buggy."

"Good thinking," Zoro commented. "He'd probably get himself killed. This is for the best."

"B-but how did you even do that?!" Nami demanded as she glared at Randy. "You can't just put someone to sleep by pinching them!"

"I can," Randy replied. "Would you have preferred I slammed his face into the wall?"

"Of course not!" Nami snapped as Randy walked a bit closer to the Drinker's Pub. "Only an idiot would do that!"

"Alright, here goes…" Randy said as he took a deep breath. "HEEEEYYYY TOMATO NOSE! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES! NOW GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME, YOU FAKE-NOSED COWARD!"

The collective jaws in the area dropped like a falling rock as Buggy's veins popped in his head, glaring furiously at his insulter.

"Idiot! That's the one thing you shouldn't say!" Nami snapped as she clutched her head in fear.

"Damn you, you flashy idiot!" Buggy roared with narrowed eyes and a dark look. "How dare you… FLASHILY FIRE THE BUGGY BALL!"

"Why'd you say that?! You idiot!" Nami snapped as the cannon was leveled to point straight at Randy.

"Hey Randy, run!" Zoro urged as Nami sprinted away from Randy, and he did the same shortly after.

"Nah, I'm gonna try something out," Randy said as he spread his legs a bit and flexed his fingers.

"Time to die a flashy death!" Buggy roared as the cannon fired.

"Let's make this showy!" Randy said as he shot his hands forward. The Buggy Ball hit his hands and Randy started skidding back as he slowly brought the ball back to his chest. He stopped moving a good three yards away and planted his feet again, much to the shock of the Buggy Pirates, Nami, and Zoro.

"Did… did he just CATCH the Buggy Ball?!" one of Buggy's pirates shrieked as Randy moved sideways with the red cannonball in one hand.

"Wait, but why didn't it explode?!" Buggy asked as he worriedly looked at the way Randy was reeling his arm back.

"Geez, say something next time," Zoro commented as he held his head.

"Hey Buggy! I think this is yours!" Randy roared as he threw the cannonball like a baseball, right back at the Buggy Pirates. They didn't even have time to comment as the Buggy Ball landed right at the edge of the rooftop, exploding wildly and collapsing the Drinker's Pub. "Aw man, I missed. I was aiming for the cannon."

"THAT'S what you're concerned about?!" Nami snapped as she glared at Randy for scaring her again.

"You really know how to freak people out…" Zoro quipped.

"I thought it was weird when you beat that lion!" Nami continued as she stood up and stomped over to Randy. "What the hell kinda person can catch a cannonball and then throw it back faster than it was shot?!"

"Well, I do know one person…" Randy said, shivering a bit. "Damn Grandpa for his brutal training, but he does know how to be a badass."

"You're not a normal human!" Nami snapped. "Explain yourself!"

"Well, I've been rigorously training for the past 10 years to improve my body into what I think can handle the Grand Line, Nami," Randy replied, matter-of-factly.

"Well, it turned you into a monster!" Nami snapped as she had to hold herself back from punching him. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you have a Devil Fruit like Buggy!"

"How dare you try to flashily do me in?" Buggy growled as he pushed himself out of the rubble, showing two of his men hanging from his floating hands.

"He used his own men as shields!" Nami commented disgustedly as Buggy dropped his human shields. It was a bit confusing to see Mohji wake up, completely unharmed despite being among the many who were injured from the Buggy Ball's blast.

"What's going on here?" the beast tamer asked as he looked around. He flinched in fear as he locked eyes on Randy. "Y-You! C-Captain Buggy! Be careful! He said he ate a Devil Fruit like you did!"

"What?!" Buggy rumbled as he looked at Mohji out of the corner of his eye.

"You… you did eat a Devil Fruit?" Nami asked as she looked at Randy.

"Yep. But I'm not going to use it unless I have a damn good reason," Randy replied as he turned to Nami.

"A Devil Fruit… that would explain how he caught the Buggy Ball and sent it back at us," Buggy mused as some more of the rubble moved away, revealing the scarf-clad Cabaji and his own meat shield of choice, Richie the Lion.

"This is the greatest insult we've had since we hoisted our flag, Captain," Cabaji commented as he held Richie up.

"Oh, Cabaji!" Buggy said as he noticed the crew's "swordsman". "I'm so mad, words fail me…"

"Cabaji! What the hell did you do to Richie?!" Mohji demanded of his comrade.

"This cat? I used it as a shield," Cabaji carelessly stated as he dropped the lion to the ground, "to keep my clothes from getting dirty."

"Richie!" Mohji yelped with worry. "Hey Richie! Say something! Are you alright?!" Richie regained consciousness, but as he saw Cabaji glaring at him, he bolted for the nearest thing between him and the swordsman. "Richie! You bastard!" Mohji tried to punch Cabaji, but the swordsman dodged easily and kicked him away, his hands still in his pockets. "Out of the way!" Mohji roared as he sailed right at me.

"Nah, you're in my way, fuzzy," Randy chuckled as he swung a roundhouse kick into the beast tamer's face, sending him into a building and leaving a shallow crater in the wall.

"Captain Buggy," Cabaji said, breaking the short silence.

"Yes, Cabaji?" Buggy inquired.

"Please leave this to me," Cabaji appealed.

"Alright! Show them your acrobat show!" Buggy acquiesced. I could practically smell his shit-eating grin as he somehow made a unicycle appear under his feet and he leaped into the air while riding it, his blade drawn.

"I, Cabaji, Chief of Staff, take on Buggy's anger!" Cabaji announced as he charged right for me. He thrust his cutlass at me, but Zoro quickly stepped in and blocked the attack.

"I'll clash swords with you," Zoro coolly said.

"It's an honor, Roronoa Zoro…" Cabaji commented, "To think I would get to slay you, as a swordsman myself."

"I'll leave this to you, Zoro," I said as I stepped aside. "This amateur has no chance against you." "Well, without that nasty gut wound, Zoro doesn't have a handicap now."

"Thanks Captain," Zoro said. "A fool like this won't stop me."

"Acrobatics! Arsonist Technique!" Cabaji yelled before tugging his scarf down and breathing flames right at Zoro's face. Zoro roared in pain as he staggered a bit from the heat. Cabaji capitalized on the moment by aiming a slash at the same spot Buggy had targeted and managing to cut into Zoro while his guard was down.

"ZORO!" I roared as Zoro dropped to one knee with his fresh wound. "No! Why did it have to happen still?! Is this one of those self-fixing timeline things?"

"What's wrong?" Cabaji smugly asked. "Did I cut you too deep?"

"That jerk! He's fighting dirty!" Nami commented.

"And you expected him to be a saint?" I quipped as I grit my teeth. "This jackass is gonna do all he can do beat Zoro, potshots and all."

"Acrobatics!" Cabaji declared as he stabbed the tip of his blade in the ground. "Murder at the Steam Bath!" He started spinning his blade as it dug into the street, kicking up a cloud of dust quickly.

"Acrobatics, my ass!" Zoro growled. "You're just making a dust cloud!" Cabaji lunged out of the cloud and chopped his blade down at Zoro's head, forcing him to block. Cabaji used the moment to kick Zoro's fresh wound, causing him to tumble and scream in pain again.

"He kicked his wound!" Nami gasped.

"What's wrong? A grown man yelling like that is disgraceful!" Cabaji mocked Zoro as he struggled to stand again. "Well? Now do you see how foolish it was to make an enemy of the Buggy Pirates?"

"He can't keep fighting like this!" Nami said as she looked on in horror. "That's a serious injury! It's a wonder he's still able to stand now!" She then turned to Randy. "Well, why aren't you doing anything?! He's gonna get killed!"

"Well, yeah, but this is his fight," I said, stupefying Nami, "He'd never forgive me for helping him unless he asks for it or someone interferes. Besides, this jackass won't kill him."

"Roronoa Zoro… is defeated!" Cabaji roared as he wheeled at Zoro, blade back with intent to kill.

"Annoying bastard!" Zoro snapped as he stood up. "Is poking at my wound… that much fun?!" Zoro simply stood there as Cabaji stabbed him again in the same spot, widening his wound much to Nami's horror and Randy's displeasure.

"Wh-Why didn't you dodge that?!" Nami begged as Cabaji spun around to face Zoro again.

"Is that enough of a handicap for you?" Zoro asked, turning himself to face Cabaji. "Now I'll show you the difference between you and me!"

"Couldn't have said it better, Zoro," I said, smiling as I leaned on the nearby wall.

"So, this is the real Roronoa Zoro, eh?" Cabaji asked as he started to sweat a bit. "You think you can mock me?"

"My swords aim to be the world's greatest!" Zoro resolved. "I can't lose even once to anyone who calls themselves a swordsman!"

"I see…" Cabaji said as Zoro drew Wado Ichimonji, "A strong revolve keeps you going... But never fear, wounds such as yours will be more than enough of an excuse for losing to me!"

"The hell with that! If I lose to someone like you with wounds this light, I won't have a future ahead of me!" Zoro said as he placed his white blade in his mouth.

"Why you…!" Cabaji growled as he popped a vein.

"Zoro's dream keeps him going," I commented, drawing Nami's attention for a bit. "And he made sure I knew it when we met. Not that I could have stopped him."

"I'm not going to keep going with this!" Nami declared. "You pirates can get yourselves as injured for all I care!" She started walking away. "It doesn't matter to me whether you guys win or lose!"

"It should, if we lose, Buggy's gonna kill you," I said bluntly, making Nami freeze for a moment.

"R-right…" Nami said in a hushed tone. "I… I'm just gonna use this opportunity to go steal their treasure and get the heck outta here!" She looked at me with a confident bravado. "Let's team up again if we ever get the chance! Seeya later! Good luck with the fight!"

"That girl…" I grumbled. "She's got some real trust issues… not that I blame her."

"Taste my ultimate acrobatic technique!" Cabaji declared as he sheathed his sword and produced many spinning tops. "Acrobatics! Dance of 100 Kamikaze Tops!" Cabaji flung his arms wide and sent the tops spiraling at Zoro, who easily cut the wooden toys in half. "Acrobatics! A Hike in the Mountains!" Cabaji then wheeled off, riding his unicycle up the side of a building.

"Jeegus, what kinda tire is that?" I asked as Zoro and I looked skyward to follow Cabaji. "Mountain Goat Hooves?"

"Acrobatics! Fireworks in the Cool Summer Breeze!" Cabaji declared as he jumped off the building and slowly started to fall above Zoro. "Sting of the Unicycle!" Cabaji pointed his blade's tip down as he started to fall right where Zoro was.

"Ground Hugging Chop-Chop Cannon!" Buggy roared as he launched his hand along the ground and aimed for Zoro's legs. "Cabaji! I'll hold Zoro down! Finish him off!"

"As you wish!" Cabaji agreed before Randy stomped down on Buggy's hand, smashing it into the stone street. Without Buggy's help, Zoro could lean away from Cabaji's impending down thrust, missing completely.

"Randy!" Zoro said, realizing what happened.

"D-Damn you!" Buggy snarled as he clutched his handless forearm in pain. "This guy… that leg feels so heavy!"

"Stay outta Zoro's fight, you damn clown," I grinned as Zoro struggled a bit to catch his breath.

-X-

"I can defeat you easily enough," Cabaji smugly bragged, "Even without my Captain's help!"

"Enough… I'm tired…" Zoro panted.

"Finally given up, have you?" Cabaji laughed. "Though I must say, I'm impressed you could fight with such injuries."

"I meant I'm tired… of your crappy-ass acrobatics!" Zoro snapped as he stood up again.

"Then I'll finish you off…" Cabaji snarled at the insult, "With my real sword skills!" Cabaji wheeled at Zoro, his hands on his hilt. "DIE!"

Zoro crossed his arms across his body, his blades pointed up. "Oni…" Zoro waited until Cabaji got close enough, and then leaped! "GIRI!" Cabaji didn't even have the time to react as all three of Zoro's swords cut him in quick succession, cutting him down and knocking him off balance.

"Cabaji!" Buggy yelped as I could only smile.

"We, the Buggy Pirates…" Cabaji muttered as he fell to the ground, "beaten by mere… sneak thieves?"

"We ain't sneak thieves…" Zoro corrected as he too fell to the ground, "We're pirates!" I smiled as he closed his eyes to rest. "Randy! I'm gonna take a nap!"

"You earned it, buddy," I said as I cracked my knuckles. "I'll take care of the rest!"

"You guys are pirates?!" Buggy echoed.

"Damn right! We'll be heading to the Grand Line soon enough," I resolved.

"Heh! That's not a simple voyage, for a dumbass bum like you!" Buggy spat out. "What're you gonna do in the Grand Line anyway? Go on a sightseeing tour?"

"I intend to conquer the Grand Line and become the Pirate King!" I declared despite Buggy's laughter.

"Get real, you flashy idiot!" Buggy snapped. "You?! King of the Pirates?! What does that make ME then, the Pirate GOD?! I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates, and obtain all the treasures this world has to offer! Quit your dreaming!"

"Never, not even if you paid me!" I snapped back, sticking my tongue out at Buggy. "But that's beside the point." I assumed my fighting stance and grinned. "It's fightin' time!"

Buggy leered at me as he flicked his hands, somehow producing another set of eight knives in his fingers. "Damn you… seeing that straw hat of yours reminds me of him…" he grumbled, "And it pisses me off! Memories of that damn cheeky red-haired man?"

"My straw hat? Red-haired man… Oi, you didn't happen to know Red-Haired Shanks, did you?" I asked, despite knowing full well he did.

"Hm? Yeah, but why?" Buggy asked.

"Do you know where he is now?" I asked.

"Well, maybe I do, maybe I don't," Buggy taunted. "I dunno, I forget!"

"I'm just gonna go with you don't," I replied flatly.

"Well, screw you then!" Buggy snapped. "I'm just not enough of a nice guy to tell you what you want to know!"

"Then let's see if I can beat it outta you!" I retorted.

"Good luck, I'll kill you before you can!" Buggy laughed as he stomped his foot, causing a knife blade to snap out of his shoe. "I doubt you got one of those damn Logia fruits, or else you wouldn't have tried to catch my Buggy Ball! So that means I can cut you!"

"Well, you're right on that end," I agreed as Buggy snapped another shoe-knife.

"Chop-Chop Rice Cracker!" Buggy roared as he kicked off into the air before sending his legs spiraling at me like a buzzsaw. It was easy to dodge, I just jumped into the air. "Too bad you can't dodge in mid-air, kid!" He growled as he threw his daggers at me.

"Too bad, because I can! GEPPOU!" I shouted as I kicked off the air and shot sideways.

"Oh, quite interesting!" Buggy mocked as his legs returned to him.

"Wish I could say the same," I joked. "Hard Air Pistol!" I was a bit surprised when Buggy noticed what I was doing and he slid to the side as the air punch just barely grazed him.

"How interesting… your Devil Fruit must control the air then!" Buggy said as he turned back to me.

"WRONG!" I roared as I ran at Buggy. "Hard Air…" I swung my arm out in a lariat as I attempted to take his head off.

"Chop-Chop Quick Escape!" Buggy yelped as his head separated from his body.

"LARIAT!" I roared as I sailed past Buggy's head, landing on some of the surrounding rubble.

"Not good enough, airhead!" Buggy laughed as his head reattached.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to compensate for that Chop-Chop body of yours," I said, rolling my neck a bit as Buggy flicked more daggers into his hands.

"Chop-Chop Cannon!" Buggy yelled as he shot his hand at me, dagger tips forward.

"Tekken," I held my hand up, fingers slightly splayed as the daggers slid right through the gaps, but the hand stopped cold.

"You flashy bastard!" Buggy snapped. "Separate!" I was caught off guard for a moment when Buggy's thumb and forefinger split away from the rest of the hand and took the dagger with them, dropping the dagger between his index and middle fingers. "Ha-ha! I got you, airhead!" Buggy laughed as I felt blood trickle down my face near my scar. "OW OW OW! WHAT THE HELL?!" Buggy roared in pain as he saw me gripping down on what was left of his hand I had a hold on.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" I roared as I heard the bones in his hand creaking.

"What's wrong? Can't handle a little scratch?" Buggy mocked to hide his pain.

"How dare you… HOW DARE YOU DAMAGE THIS HAT?!" I hissed. "This is my treasure! I will fucking end you for damaging Shank's gift to me!"

"Shanks'… You mean that shabby thing is Shanks' straw hat?!" Buggy realized as I threw his hand back to him. "No wonder it seemed familiar… Then I should spear that thing this time! Chop-Chop Cannon!"

"Intersection Technique!" I roared. Buggy then realized his mistake as I caught his arm between my knee and elbow, breaking some of the bones in his forearm, from what I could tell.

"YOU FLASHY BASTARD!" Buggy howled in pain. "SEPARATE!" I realized too late I had let my anger cloud my mind as Buggy's daggers speared through the side of the hat's dome, and I dropped the rest of his arm as he called both back. "This shitty thing ain't treasure, airhead. Treasure is gold, silver, and jewels! Precious metals and display their owner's grandeur! This ratty thing…" He tossed the hat to the ground and started stomping on it. "IS WORTHLESS! WORTHLESS! WORTHLESS!"

"GET YOUR FUCKING FEET OFF MY TREASURE!" I roared as I shot at Buggy again. "HARD AIR LARIAT!"

"Chop-Chop Quick Escape!" Buggy said before I kicked off the air and drove my foot into his stomach, sending his body flying away from my straw hat. "Gah…"

"You motherfucking bastard," I growled out. "I don't give two shits about what history you and Shanks shared now… Never call him your comrade again! You can't compare to him even if you had a thousand years to work!"

"I… don't care…" Buggy gasped for air as he got back to his feet. "He's the one person I'll never forgive! I'll curse him for the rest of my life! I'll never forgive him!"


A/N: Whoo! Halfway there!

Randy: You'll be praying if you finish that song or damage my hat further!

Luffy: Yeah, jerkface!

A/N: ...how did you get here, Luffy?

Luffy: Shishishi! I dunno, I just did!

A/N: Oh god, he's becoming Deadpool!

Randy: What have you unleashed?

A/N: Anyway, onto the reviews!

To MusicOfMadness:

Randy: Am I really that sassy?

A/N: I guess so.

To VoidGlitch:

Luffy: Shishishi! Yeah, that'd be kinda funny! They'd think Randy was North and South at the same time!

Randy: ...this is going to be a trip.

A/N: Yeah, I kinda have to get through some plot before I can really start to shine. But don't fret, things will be a-changin'!

To JayH120:

Randy: Well, I am smarter book-wise than Luffy, and I'm not Luffy. Of course I'm going to handle things differently.

A/N: Besides, there's the thing where Randy won't know how things are going to go if he does change things. There's a fine line between using future knowledge wisely and haphazardly. As for pairings, I have a few ideas in mind, but nothing set in stone yet. But Randy, much like most normal people, would feel attraction to someone like Nami and might try to have a romantic relationship over the course of this adventure.

To JJsanoguel98:

A/N: As I said, there may be pairings. I'm just not 100% sure yet on who I'll be pairing up. That said, I do have a few favorite girls I feel need more attention and I would like to personally hook up with.

Randy: And yet, here I am, fulfilling your fantasies.

A/N: ...shut up.

To AngelFaux:

A/N: You'll be seeing more now! And hopefully soon as well!

To RinnaZevran1987:

Randy: Thanks.

A/N: And that's it for review responses! Leave a review, and I'll make Randy compete with Luffy in an eating contest!

Luffy: There's a contest for eating?

Randy: Don't get him started!