A painful twinge in his shoulder is the only reminder he has of reality. Because if not for the pain, he'd be convinced none of this is real. He can't be stuck here.

"... But find you in the day," the song continues softly in the background, playing out of his laptop sitting in the seat of an armchair in the corner of the office, "Oh, you're in my veins..."

A soft chuckle breaks him out of staring aimlessly at the wall. He turns quickly, grasping cautiously at his injured shoulder and sees Alexis standing in the doorway of the office with a plate in her hand. She looks at her father with an amused grimace and a grin. "I didn't know you liked this kind of music, Dad."

He smiles heavily, cranes his neck, and pushes on his arm, deciding not to let her in on the symbolism of the song. "I've always liked that song. That's all."

Alexis chuckles amusingly and shakes her head. "You should turn on Buckethead. He just released a new pike album yesterday that's pretty good."

Rick keeps his heavy smile in place, trying his best to seem interested in his daughter trying out her interests on her father. He remembers having the time of his life playing with her when she was a little girl, playing house, having tea parties, and eventually graduating onto pretending he was the Stormtrooper and she was Princess Leia to play laser tag. Their song continues and Rick feels his heart tug as he hears it again, leaning back against the edge of his desk, that now faces away from the living room and against the wall in this world.

He remembers specifically tailoring his office decor so he could work at his desk while keeping an eagle's eye on his little girl when he was put in charge, or took control, over the entirety of her infancy. In this world, with the desk facing the wall, it's almost as if this world's Rick Castle tailored his office to shut out everybody. To turn his back on a world that left him behind.

"Here," Alexis breaks him out of his thoughts by presenting the plate to him. "I made you some lunch."

Rick's heart swells and he shoves off the desk, "Aww," he coos honestly, taking the plate of a roast beef and salami sandwich with a handful of Layes chips next to it. "Thank you, sweetie. You didn't have to do that." He says, reacting mostly on instinct and leaning forward, pressing a loving, thankful kiss to her cheek.

Alexis lights up at the fatherly affection. Whatever is going on with him, she loves him being like this. This is the dad she knew growing up, the dad that played with her and would carry her on his shoulders through Coney Island on weekends after she brought back a perfect score on a test in school. The last time he showed anything close to this was at her high school graduation. It wasn't a big deal for her. She barely graduated out of Marlowe Prep, but he was still proud of her.

Rick sets the plate down to his desk and leans back against it, taking up the sandwich with his one useful arm. "So," she nervously begins, "have any luck finding the artifact?"

He's brought back to the grim reality, but plays it off as much as he can for her sake. "I found it," he asks over his sandwich, "but I couldn't get it to work." He minces his words.

"Is there some trick to it? It's supposed to grant you what you desire most, right?" Alexis asks, crossing her arms.

"It's supposed to." He says just before taking another bite. "But it was uh..." he continues, eying a piece of salami about to fall out and busies himself with grabbing it up with his teeth and sucking it into his mouth, "damaged when I was shot."

"Damaged?" She asks, knowing when he's not telling her the whole truth. Her senses have become very acute to his vocal tells when he's playing something off. Over the years, it's become her knowing when he's telling her he doesn't need any help and he's just fine, even though she knows he's really telling her he just wants to wallow in the hell of his own making. "How was it damaged?"

"Suffice it to say," he starts before popping the last of the sandwich in his mouth and brushing his hands off on his stomach, "I'm stuck here for the time being so..." he pauses to swallow and move over to his laptop, "I'm at a dead end until I can find another way home. Maybe," he shrugs sideways as he carries his laptop over to his desk, "try and get my hands on a genie's lamp or something."

Alexis nods and crosses her arms despondently. She's trying her best to humor him, maybe getting caught up in this wild, fantastic, goose chase for some made up MacGuffin he's created. But it's given her her dad back. If she has to placate him a bit and play into the delusions, she'll do it. "So," she begins nervously, "this woman, this... police captain-"

"Beckett, sweetie," he clarifies for her as he hunts and pecks on his keyboard with one hand.

"Beckett," she parrots, digging the ball of her foot into the rug, "she must have been pretty special."

Her tone sets off bells in his head, a fine-tuned mechanism from years of fatherhood, and some of marriage, to know when there's some deeper issue festering. Rick turns to look over his shoulder with worry knitted into his brow. He forgets his research on his laptop and turns to face his daughter, who's standing at the threshold to the office in a black long sleeved t-shirt and black yoga pants. "She's the love of my life." He answers softly.

Alexis nods and looks away from him. "Really? I never thought I'd hear you describe another woman like that." Rick chuckles to himself. "I mean, you still complain about having to write Gina's alimony checks every time I visit." She says casually.

But Rick's features harden and his stomach flops. "She's still coming after me for that?!" He spits, surprising his daughter. Rick pushes out a hard, angry huff, resembling a charging bull, as he takes a step in the other direction. "I thought we had that settled after we broke up the last time."

Alexis is confused but decides to try and remind him anyway. "Remember? She never really forgave you killing off Derrick Storm and when you couldn't get past your block, Black Pawn started to go under."

Rick stops dead and whips around to face his daughter. "Black Pawn went out of business?" He asks in a weak voice.

Alexis chuckles nervously and tightens her crossed arms over herself. "You were their star writer, Dad. When you stopped writing, they stopped publishing. Last I heard, Gina's having trouble finding work to satiate her... expensive appetites. No one will touch her after publishing your new book."

Rick pushes out a ragged breath, drained of strength. He clenches his jaw shut and leans back against the corner of his desk. "I used to host a Christmas party there every year."

Alexis smiles in remembrance. "I remember. You used to dress up as Santa and buy toys for everyone's kids."

Rick breathes a cold breath out through his nostrils and grips the edge of his desk with his one good hand, the other laying limply in the sling around his neck.

"Dad," Alexis tries, "have you ever thought of... giving this world's Beckett a shot?"

He looks up to her, gauging her sincerity for a moment.

"I mean," she continues on a nervous chuckle, "you took a bullet for her, after all."

But Rick is already shaking his head. "No, Alexis, you don't understand." He says, looking over to her with desperate eyes. "It took me years... to even get her to notice that I was standing right in front of her. Getting her to fall for me was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And I have to believe that somewhere, my Kate Beckett is waiting for me and I can't betray her by giving up on that."

Her brow pinches slightly and she shifts her weight, trying her best to follow his thinking. "So-" she hesitates, "you're afraid of cheating on her... with her."

"Well," he starts, looking away and softening his expression, "I'd like to think it's a bit more three dimensional than that but...I've already abandoned her once, Alexis. I have to try. I can't let a minor setback stop me from finding a way back to her." He explains with an encouraged and determined smile. He takes a pause to shove off the edge of the desk and reaches up, putting a hand on his daughter's arm. "I'll find a way back to her, sweetie."

Alexis keeps her smile in place for his sake and waits until his hand falls off her shoulder and he turns around to let her emotions force the words out. "And to your Alexis." She mutters, letting her head fall.

Rick stops and turns back around quickly. So that's what this was about. "Is that what this about, sweetie?" He asks in as much a caring voice as he can and takes a step forward. "You're worried about me leaving?"

Alexis looks back up to her dad, knowing she has her emotions on full display. "To be honest, Dad, this whole thing sounds insane to me but... you show up at home one day and I finally have my dad back." She shrugs with her arms still crossed protectively. "My real dad, the one I grew up with. Now, I don't really believe any of this... alternate universe, timeline changing stuff but I finally get my dad back and all you want to do is find a way back to your own Alexis."

"Hey," Rick says softly and puts his arm around her, pulling her into his side. He pauses and feels his daughter press herself into his side, with him petting her back caringly. "I don't care what universe I'm in, Alexis. Because there is one thing that no matter of quantum mechanics or space-time theory can change and that is..." he says, putting his hand on her face and smiling, "you will always be my daughter."

It's felt like a lifetime since she's felt this genuine fatherly affection from him. She's grown to resent him for giving up on life the way he did, knowing what a great dad he was to her growing up. Something changed in him, or maybe something changed in the world and got him to wake up, but she needs this version of him to stick around. Overwhelmed, Alexis uncrosses her arms and puts them around his chest, hugging her father tightly. "I love you, Dad."

Rick smiles and rests his head down onto his daughter's hair. "I love you too, Alexis." He says back. "But even if I were to go after this world's Kate Beckett, her walls are more fortified than ever. It'd take me forever to get through to her."


They've sat in complete silence since the formality of a greeting was out of the way. She could really use some more pain killers. She ran out of Aleve and hasn't gotten the chance to get more. This headache only seems to be getting worse and now, she's starting to lose sleep because she just doesn't want to dream anymore.

She can't stand getting those... feelings.

Back sitting in this deep armchair across from a therapist she's only met with once, she's nervously twisting her heel in between the fibers of the scratchy carpet. "Do you mind if I take my heels off?" She asks in a small voice.

Burke smiles softly and waves the end of his ballpoint at her while adjusting the notepad on his crossed legs. "Whatever you need to feel comfortable, Kate."

She musters up a thankful smile and toes her four-inch heels off her feet and slips her legs underneath her, settling deep back into the chair and putting her hands down into her lap. When she looks up, all she notices now is the notepad on his lap. "Could you lose the notepad, please?" She asks him in a much more firm voice.

Burke's eyes flick between the notepad and his patient.

"I feel like you're studying me and I'd... prefer if this were to remain as off the record as it can."

Dr. Burke nods slowly and takes the notepad by the top and sets it down to the floor, setting the pen on top, then coming back to fold his hands in his lap. "So, I take it you've had more dreams."

Beckett nods only once and looks out the blinds covering the window, her head listing off slightly at the weight of her headache vicing itself around her skull. "I found out something." She starts, wanting to cut to the meat of the matter. "About him, about..." she trails off, looking down at her lap, "what he thinks I am to him."

"You mean this writer, Richard Castle?" She nods in response, still not meeting his eyes. "So all the dreams are still about him."

"About us." She says pointedly, finally giving him her eyes. "A couple days ago, I found him in evidence storage looking for the box from our last case. The only thing in there besides case files was this stone disk that he was holding when he was shot. But I decided to confront him about just who he thinks I am in this delusion of his and he told me." She says, nodding her head and letting her fear shine in her eyes. "And now... I need to know that I'm just going insane."

Burke's brow pinches slightly. "What exactly did he say?"

"He said that I was his fiance." She says softly, her voice trembling and weak. "I know that it sounds crazy because that's what I told him, but then..." she trails off, recalling every word he said to her.

"Then what?" Burke encourages her to continue.

"Doctor," she says desperately, unfolding her legs and leaning forward on her elbows, "he - knows - things. Things about me that I've never told to anyone. Things that..." she has to stop and look back out the window, feeling her eyes burn. "That I'd only ever want the man I want it to work with to know." She tells him, grabbing for the necklace hanging underneath her pale green blouse. "There's no possible way that he could know these things if I didn't tell him."

Burke's eyes cloud with disbelief and he leans back further in his chair a bit. "What exactly did he tell you, Kate?"

She lets out a ragged breath and tosses herself back in the chair, pulling on leg up to her chest and wrapping her arms around it. "He knew about this." She says, pulling out the chain that holds the ring. "It was my mother's. I promised myself after she was murdered that I'd wear it until the day I put her killer behind bars." She explains, looking down at the ring that's become a lot heavier over the years. It's a weight she's become accustomed to. Much like the hole in her heart that her mother left behind, that she walled off just like he said.

"And..." Burke starts for her, pointing at the ring with a finger from his clasped hands, "I take it since you still wear it, that-"

"I never solved it." She shakes her head and puts the ring back underneath her blouse. "That's why I've been... questioning whether or not I'm truly meant for this job or not a lot lately. I'm starting to realize just how much I've questioned myself over the years. How many times I've... screwed up because I knew I couldn't handle it otherwise."

Burke senses in her words she has something on her mind, some deeper issue that she wants to discuss without just blurting it out. "You're speaking of a specific instance?"

Beckett sniffs and rests her mouth against her fist, looking back out the windows. "A few years ago, we caught a case involving this venture capitalist who was poisoned at a restaurant. The wait staff had mixed up the orders so the intended target was still alive and we had to bring him into protective custody." She shakes her head as tears well up in her eyes. "I didn't want to admit at the time that I... got caught up in some wild, romantic fantasy of him actually wanting something more when I slept with him. He said all the right things, got me to let my guard down and I just... fantasized about him whisking me away and changing my life forever." The tears feel cold as they run down her face, wanting to rip some part of her out, feeling deserving of the pain it would cause her. "I can tell myself now that it didn't mean anything but... in the moment... I thought he was going to give me something more."

Burke stays silent and lets her get out what she needs out.

"He didn't even show up to the precinct after we'd caught the killer. There was no connection, no... feeling, no meaning. I felt like a toy. But-" she cuts herself off, biting her lip as more tears well up in her eyes, flickers of her dreams starting to float into parts of her like bandages, healing her with memories that she's never had before.

"But?" Burke protests her stopping.

"You know," she starts, taking her hand off her mouth and grabbing onto her other leg, pulling at it, "in these dreams I have... there's never any context to them. I don't know how she feels what she feels, or why she feels what she feels for him. But I know what she feels for him. I can remember in the moment what she's thinking in these dreams. And this person, whoever this woman is that this guy proposed to... I know that she loves him with all of her heart."

Burke's eyes twinge a bit at the sincerity of her claims.

"I can remember her thinking to herself just how much this guy means to her, because of all the work she did to be with him. Every time I've had a dream, I can always remember her thinking to herself just how much real effort she put in for him. And she knows without a doubt that he loves her. She knows what they have is real." She says painfully, swatting at the tracks of her tears running down her face, hiding her expression by looking down into her lap. "But me? I can only remember feeling one thing when I have these dreams."

Burke pauses, not sure whether to take the fact she's separating these two personas as a good thing or not. "And... what is that?"

Beckett looks back up to him with a darkness emptying her eyes. "I'm jealous." She admits before her bottom lip starts to quiver, giving her away. "Why does she get to have that and not me?" She demands. "What did I do wrong that I don't get to have what she has?"

Burke sighs in a low breath. This is going to take a while.

"How was she able to fall in love and not me?"


A/N: Comeback chapter! What'd ya think? :D

P.S: Yes, I only listen to Buckethead, especially when I write. I'll start listening a lot more, get me to write more. :)