A/N: Quite a few people have told us that they were interested in the planning of Juliet, as well as more interaction between the couple themselves without her. We decided to write a preface of sorts, to showcase the pieces that fit together to make all of that happen.


Chapter Five

Almost as soon as Callie Torres started dating Arizona Robbins, she knew she was the kind of woman you don't let slip through your fingers. When you can dance goofily around the room without a care in the world, laugh hysterically with such ease at even the most serious of conversations, and just talk for hours, about politics, medicine, pop culture, family life, history, literature, art, hopes and dreams...things that really matter, you don't let them go. The minute they kissed, really kissed, Callie knew she could spend the rest of her life tasting her. She just...knew. And although they had numerous bumps and bruises along the way, as the months flew by, Callie knew she needed that woman forever.

She was never the kind of girl who sought out a relationship. Sure she always desired one, but they had a way of just...falling into her lap. Her problem was never circumstance, her problem always became about needing more…needing better, and trying to match an ideal she'd created for herself from far too early of an age. She always longed for more, for moving things along; the next step, the next date, the next milestone. And when they didn't happen with George, she blamed herself, she blamed Izzie, and then she just flat out blamed him. It wasn't either of their faults per se, you see, Callie lacked vision in relationships. She lacked the clarity to see when things just weren't going to happen with someone she was with.

She also lacked the control to be single. It wasn't a flaw necessarily, she craved that ethereal connection, that indefinable pull to another human being. She'd witnessed it her whole life. Her grandparents, her parents, her colleagues, it seemed everyone had it but her. She fumbled around from relationship to relationship trying desperately to find it, and if it wasn't there, she clung to the possibility she could create it. Love them hard enough, skip steps quickly enough, desire to want it more, and maybe, just maybe, she'd find it. She tried with George, certainly, tried to force every step on him when he wasn't certain, and then when he succumbed, their relationship fell apart. Erica, Callie thought, was a new beginning, but when shetried to push a relationship on Callie, push steps Callie wasn't ready for, it ended in disaster. And Mark…well, he was just happenstance, a best friend willing to go above and beyond in order to pacify both their broken hearts. To say she wasn't good with relationships, even as hard as she tried and fought, was an understatement.

But Callie always pushed herself. As a child, if she couldn't conjure it up for herself, money could buy it. In school she studied harder, put in more hours to be the best. At work she freaking slept at the hospital to get ahead, she tried risky and innovative surgeries because she knew if she wanted it, she just had to push forward to get it. She never minded hard work, she never desired the easy way out, but when she hadn't found that connection with someone, regardless of the work she'd put in, she became listless, she sulked and pouted and gave up looking. Little did she know, that was just what she had needed to do...stop forcing the un-forcible.

With Arizona, things flowed naturally. Sure there was work, there were spats and hard times, but somehow, above all else that was thrown at them, Callie Torres had found what she'd always been searching for.

They'd made it through break-ups, through financial instability, through the loss of the only support system Callie had ever known; they'd pushed through, they skipped steps but were able to ground themselves enough to make it. Against all odds, Arizona Robbins was hers.

She rejoiced in that, savored that, she loved that, but something was still...missing. It made her question a lot about who she was as a person. She had this wonderful girl, beautiful, ambitious, smart, perfect, but something was just off. She'd always assumed that if she found the right person, the rest would fall into place, that she would finally feel whole. But for some reason, she just...didn't.

For as long as Callie could remember, having a child had been in the back of her mind. It was something always in the far off future, of course, but it was still there. Get her career jump-started, find the right person, find stability, createstability, and then start a family. It just seemed like a natural progression. She loved kids, and not having one was never even a consideration, it was an absolute.

Perhaps it was the slew of infant cousins that came along with having a ridiculously large family, or maybe even having a baby sister late in the game at eleven; regardless, she'd always pictured her life with a child.

And then Arizona didn't want one. She'd never envisioned them in her future at all. She was so against the idea she ended the relationship. It left them both flailing, desperate for one another but hopelessly lost and confused about how to fix the problem. They wanted fundamentally different lives, even though they were undeniably made for each other. Ending it seemed like the logical conclusion. But when you try to place logic on illogical things like emotions and fate, you screw yourself over. You make yourself miserable and all you want to do is go back to a time when things were perfect. And so, reluctantly at first, they compromised. They chose a life together over a life apart; a life with a child over a life filled with longing, regret, and evidential resentment.

They'd put it off for four years, put themselves and their careers on the fast track. Deep down, Callie had been relieved at just...letting the relationship grow and strengthen. She'd been happy even, happier than she'd ever been in her entire life. And then she received a phone call one afternoon from her baby sister that changed everything.

She listened and was enthusiastic and inserted "aww"s and "oh my God"s and even a few excited gasps. She was excited, admittedly. Aria was her little sister after all, and she adoredher but...she was also exceptionally jealous. At twenty-two, Aria was pregnant. And at thirty-one, Callie didn't even have prospects of it.

After hanging up with her sister, issuing promises of a visit to meet her boyfriend and go baby shopping, Callie dropped her phone onto the table and stretched out along the couch. She rubbed her temples and tried her best to push it out of her mind. "Just be happy for her," she thought. "You have the absolute perfect woman in the world," she justified. "You don't need this right now just because Aria has it by accident," she concluded. But as hard as she tried to accept her best reasoning to push the baby issue aside, she just couldn't. She wanted one too, and it was time to bring it up...gently...with Arizona. A conversation she certainly was not looking forward to having.


Arizona had had a great day. One of those dimple-popping, Heely-wearing, "yay" kind of days. She rocked surgery after surgery, helped deliver six beautiful babies, and saw a long-term cancer patient head home after a three-year battle. She skipped her lunch break and helped around the NICU to hold the babies and try to make the parents visiting a little less on edge. It was one of those days that made her thankful she was a doctor. It was one of those days that made the magic of working in Peds come alive.

Holding a three month old little girl who could finally have visitors besides her parents while they went to retrieve her big brother to meet her for the first time, Arizona gazed down into her bright blue eyes, and rubbing her index finger over her peach fuzz blonde hair, she wondered, for the very first time, what herdaughter would look like. Would she have blonde curls? Blue eyes? Maybe her mother's piercing green? Or would she inherit Arizona's brother's stiff-as-a-board sandy blonde hair? And then Callie flashed before her eyes. She'd always wanted a baby, it'd always been in her plans. For Arizona, it took a little convincing, but she finally saw the potential beauty in a family with Calliope Torres.

They'd put it off for a handful of years, talked flippantly about it from time to time, but never discussed anything concrete. It had honestly surprised Arizona, the time that had passed without any real progress in that department. She'd been ready for some time now, for that next step, but figured it was a subject that Callie should bring up. She didn't want to...steal her thunder since this had been something soimportant to her a while back. But if Arizona were being honest, she was ready. She wanted a baby. And she was going to tell her tonight.

She placed the infant in the incubator once more and tucked the blanket around her slumbering body. "Grow up and be somebody full of life, little one. Cherish everything, love everyone, be happy." she spoke softly. She ran her finger across the child's cheek and leaned over to press a little kiss to the tip of her nose and smiled.

Arizona left with a few waves to the families that were there and made her way to the locker room to change. She was definitely ready, and it added a little pep in her step at the prospect of moving forward in their lives together.


She arrived home half an hour early, quickly turning the doorknob and walking inside. She didn't pause to drop her stuff or check the lain-out mail in the bowl by the door. They could wait. She didn't get her regimented bottle of water or look for the folded clothes Callie would leave for her on the ironing board to bring upstairs upon her arrival. She paused, only for a brief moment at the bottom of the stairs before ascending, skipping a step or two as she went.

Arizona had spent every second since her internal self-discovery hashing out what to say to Callie. Most especially in the delivery and timing of it. She was excited enough just to blurt "I wanna have a baby," but if Callie wouldn't be receptive, she didn't know if she could take the risk of not being able to contain her disappointment. Being with Callie was always kind of a gamble with delivery. Catch her on an off day and you're met with loads of sarcasm or a slight dismissal altogether. She was more of a talker, not really a listener, so, Arizona had learned, you needed to just...get it out before she had time to get bored or start up on her own monologue.

It wasn't a bad thing, just something that Arizona had to get used to and learn to work around. She hoped that Callie would be in a good mood tonight and that she knew her well enough to gauge the appropriate time to have the conversation. Placing her hand upon the doorknob, Arizona closed her eyes and nodded to herself in silent encouragement as she pushed open the door and stepped inside their bedroom.


Callie had spent the better part of the afternoon pacing their bedroom floor. She knew she wanted a baby, but wasn't sure how to go about telling Arizona. The last time she tried, it ended with Arizona's face dropping and her pulling away completely. And later, a slammed door in her face and many weeks of awkward, avoidable discomfort. She knew this time would be different, that Arizona wouldn't walk out, but still, her head and her heart had locked in sync with one another and there was no turning back.

She usually prepped Arizona with an intro monologue so that she'd know she wasn't getting in trouble, and earlier on in their relationship, that Callie hadn't cheated on her with Mark. But this time she wasn't going to prep her at all. She'd risk the repercussions, because when it came to important things, Arizona hated people who weren't direct with her. She was a busy woman, she had tiny humans to save, so get to the point, she often told her residents. And Callie had always admired her for that, but when it came to conversations of such importance in their personal lives, she was often left unsure of how to breech the topic. She only hoped, as she heard the front door close, that she would survive the conversation long enough to continue respecting her for her take charge, direct approach.


Closing the door and shrugging her bags and coat off onto the bed, Arizona locked eyes with Callie and smiled. They made idle small talk, "How was your day," Arizona asked. "Save many lives today," Callie inquired. But they both knew that the other had something they needed to say. Arizona was excited about it, and Callie was dreading it, each wanting to be the first to speak before they lost their nerve.

Simultaneously, they both spoke..."We need to talk." and then froze momentarily, waiting to see if the other would go first. Arizona dropped her gaze to the bed as she heard Callie inhale deeply. It was now or never, she thought.

"I wanna have a baby."

Both taken aback by the others proclamation, and for the synchronized delivery, they looked at each other dumb founded before pointing with big huge grins at the other. "You do?" Callie sighed. It was going to be okay after all.

Nodding her head and walking over to Callie, Arizona sat down on the footstool of their white love seat, grabbing one of Callie's hands and squeezing it in relief. "It hit me today, actually. Pretty hard, right between the eyes. You know how that happens to me sometimes, like a big smack in the face when I've been going on the wrong course. I just...want one, right now. I really do."

Callie inhaled sharply at the decision that Arizona had come to on her own. It amazed her sometimes, even though they were absolutely different people, just how 'on the same page' they were inside. "Aria called me earlier and told me she's pregnant."

Arizona's eyes widened in shock, "Are you serious? She's only been dating that guy for like...four months. Did they plan that or..."

"She got knocked up." Callie said with a scoff, rolling her eyes. Her sister always was soreckless with her personal life.

Arizona shook her head and looked to the ceiling in disbelief. "Wow. And what about your parents? I mean, with how strongly Catholic they are..."

"Totally excited and supportive. If it had been me, it'd be the end of the world, but Aria getting knocked up is the best thing that's ever happened to them, apparently."

Arizona honed her gaze at Callie and cocked her head to the side. "Wait, this isn't one of those things where you want something just because your sister got it, is it? Because, I mean I know you've always wanted a baby, but if you're rushing into it now just because she got pregnant, maybe we should re-think our timeline? I don't know, I just don't want you to regret the birth of our kid because it won't be as special if Aria is having hers around the same time. We have to...deal with a lot more stuff in the process of getting pregnant than just getting knocked up. And what if it doesn't happen right away and you're devastated when Aria's baby is born and you don't have one...I just don't want you to hurt."

Callie looked at Arizona quizzically. None of those things had really crossed her mind except how much hearing about her niece or nephew made her want one of her own. But she was certain it had nothing to do with sibling rivalry. She was just...ready. And although Arizona's little tangent was sweet, she knew she needed to set the record straight or Arizona would never take her seriously. "You know, it really made me wonder what the hell we've been doing with our lives. I mean, I love our life together, more than anything, but we just kind of...stopped moving forward with things. And I was okay with that, really, but then I got that call and wondered what we'd been waiting for, y'know? But then," she shrugged and looked away. "With before and..."

"You were worried I'd freak out again and we'd be right back to where we were?" Admittedly, Arizona hadn't been proud of her previous behavior. She knew that she had been taught never to give up just because something might be hard or that plans might change without much warning. To always be prepared for the unexpected. But she'd just been on her set path for so long...too long...that she couldn't get past the inevitability of sucha huge change that she thought was too out of her control. She'd always regret that, but...things had changed and she'd learned from it and was ready to make amends for it. She also didn't really blame Callie for being cautious about it. The last time she'd tried opening up to her about something this important, Arizona had run.

"I wasn't really sure. I wanted to believe that you had meant what you said before, and part of me was still a little worried. But I'd hoped...Arizona, are you really ready for this? It's not just a "let's go to the car place and buy a car" kind of thing. It's...a whole lifetime. A whole new life...we need a plan or we just...shouldn't even consider it right now."

Arizona shook her head furiously in disagreement. "I know it's not like buying a car, Calliope. And I've been thinking about this for a lot longer than I let on." It was true, she'd wanted one for a little over a year now, planned out every little detail in her head, hashed over all the possibilities of what could go wrong, she just...hadn't wanted to tell Callie she was interested because she knew she'd want a baby right now and Arizona needed some more time with justCallie before they made that leap. "I didn't feel like, even a year ago when I decided I wanted one, that it was my right to bring it up because of how I reacted from the beginning. I knew I could wait, but that you couldn't, and when you were ready, you'd tell me."

"Of course you had the right to bring it up. It'll be your baby too. You'll have just as much hand in raising it as I do, I was...waiting for you, I guess. I mean, for the first time I was really enjoying being in a relationship without worrying about hitting milestones. It felt good just to livea life with you. And I knew we would have a baby eventually, so I just...let it go. But that phone call...it brought all of that back with a vengeance."

"I delivered six babies today, tiny, but really healthy babies. And I had great surgeries, and even helped out in the NICU during my break. For some reason, today, I just...wanted to be around the babies. I was pulled to them. And then I was holding this beautiful little girl and it hit me out of nowhere..."

"But you play with babies all day every day, Arizona. This is different, it can't just be because they're cute and all of the sudden you want to be a parent. With your history of being against being a mother, it has to be more than that because..."

Arizona cut her off with a furrowed brow and a shake of her head. "I wondered what my daughter would look like, Callie. If she'd have my curls or my mother's bright green eyes, and I'd never thought about it like that. I'd always kind of chalked it up to what your baby would look like, how pretty she'd be or if she'd look...too different from me for people to think she was mine too. I'd never thought about her as really mine, and then when I did, your face popped into my head and I knew I wanted a baby with you, regardless of what she looked like or if people would think she was mine, she'd be ours no matter what and I liked that. I want one, Calliope, I want one with you, as soon as possible."

"Okay...but..." Callie tried to interrupt her again.

For someone who wanted a baby so badly, Callie was sure putting up a fight. "It's not something I decided on a whim, Callie. So just...stop with the questioning and be excited that we're both finally here together and we came to that conclusion on the same day. This isn't a bad thing, it's not going to lead into anything bad, it's good! We want a baby. We're going to have a baby." She concluded with a smile and a squeeze to Callie's hands.

The fact of the matter was, Arizona hadn't decided on a whim just because of what happened today. She'd stewed over motherhood for months. Did she really want it, what would her role be in the child's life be? Could she get over the loss of control that having a child could open up to with sicknesses and uncertainty? Were they prepared to give up their careers in order to have this child? There was just so much to worry about and so much to think about before she ever could have been ready to have that conversation. And so she took the time, she did the research, she prepared herself emotionally, she thought about houses and cars and puppies and all the things people probably do before they have a kid. She was as prepared as she could possibly be and she was done worrying.

But before she could undeniably say, "Okay, let's do this tomorrow," she had to talk to Callie. With her past constantly nagging at her, she had to tell Callie, she just...couldn't let that one tiny detail go. The one she'd tried to push aside since she looked into that little girl's eyes and she herself reflected back. But she just...couldn't. So, she took a deep breath, bit down a little on her lip, and told Callie the one thing that could change her mind about having a baby with her.

"Calliope, I want a baby with you. I'm ready, I'm so ready I would explode if I did any more research or thought about it anymore," She winced slightly, which Callie, unfortunately caught, making Arizona drop her gaze to their entwined fingers. "But before we jump head first into this, I have something to tell you that you might not like. And I'm scared you're going to change your mind because of it."

Arizona looked up just in time to see Callie's brow lift and a quiet sadness come over her eyes as her face dropped. She wasn't sure what Arizona could possibly tell her that would make her not want to have a baby with her. Especially not in the exact same sentence telling her she wanted a baby with her right now. It just didn't make sense. But if she were honest with herself, she was terrified of what, given all they'd been through, it could possibly be.