A/N: I finally learned some simple HTML, so my fics should look a little
better, as in the formatting of text I want expressed and so on.
Disclaimer: Zelda and all things affiliated with said game franchise belong to Nintendo. I am not being paid or receiving payment for this work of fiction.
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The Day the AFGAN Tried to Take Over Hyrule
Chapter VI: The Final Battle
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The AFGAN, the giant alien sheep and asparagus, and the giant alien dancing hamsters, pandas, and squirrels were about to clash head-on in the battle to finally decide who was to conquer Hyrule. However, before the battle started, Link showed up with several thousand Hylian soldiers, armed to their teeth.
"SO WE MEET AGAIN," one of the sheep said to one of the Hylian soldiers, who was missing an arm. The soldier looked nervously around and adverted his gaze. He didn't want to look at that sheep.
The battle commenced. The AFGAN, with their stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves, teeth, and ass covers dominated the destruction. The pandas used their extra sharp teeth to rip apart the asparagus, and soon the sheep were without partners. The squirrels were small enough (all these animals are much bigger than normal, but they are the same height in reference to each other) to dart in and out of the others and reek havoc on the penguins' feet. However, the squirrels met their match when they started to attack the sheep. The sheep's heads were close enough to the ground to eat the squirrels fairly easily. The flying cows were a formidable opponent to any species, but the hamsters suffered major loss.
There were spare body parts hanging off what was left of trees, blood spattered on the rock formations, and human bowels were hanging everywhere. (A/N: "Bowels in or bowels out?" –Hannibal Lector, Hannibal) The Hylian army that Link brought with him was no more. Link himself remained; using all the weapons he could get his hands on. Spare stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves, teeth, and, whenever possible, an appropriately sized ass cover. He kicked ass. He killed as many sheep, squirrels, pandas, hamsters, cows, and, (unfortunately), penguins as he could. He was drenched in so much blood, his green tunic looked red.
After a very long fight, a very large and very ominous spaceship descended onto the battlefield. As a ramp lowered and a door opened, out stepped . . . bOsama bin Laden/b!!!
"HAIL THE MASTER!!!" All the giant alien species knelt before Osama.
Osama started to speak, in fractured English, "I come to join the battle."
As the shocked aliens composed themselves, they found that their enemies were kneeling before their master! "Do not be alarmed," Osama explained. "Me send all of you dolts to try to conquer Hyrule, so that I'd get control whether or not one force fails."
"Clever plan, but I don't care!" Link screamed out.
"Yeah, me neither," said some of the alien minions. "We've had enough. We don't want to fight any more." The minions backed off, forming a circle around Link, Osama, and the leaders of the respective groups.
SPLAT! SCREECH! BOOM!!!
All the leaders collided, with their respective weapons, aiming to kill each other. Throughout the course of the battle, the alliances between the AFGAN and otherwise, broke up. They were all on their own.
The penguin leader had a stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron glove leveled at a perfect angle to decapitate Link. Link had his Biggoron sword at Osama's throat, who had a gun at the sheep's head. The sheep had the squirrel's neck between his teeth, and the squirrel had his tail around the panda's neck, strangling him. The panda had his stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron claws at the cow's neck, and the hamster was being slowly bitten in half by the cow. The hamster was clawing his way through the penguin's skull, and was about to liquefy the penguin's brain, when suddenly . . .
------------------------------
End of Chapter VI
------------------------------
Here's a recap of the situation so far:
Each person/thing has the other in a deathly bad situation:
PenguinLinkOsamasheepsquirrelpandacowhamsterpenguin
Let's see who wins . . .
Disclaimer: Zelda and all things affiliated with said game franchise belong to Nintendo. I am not being paid or receiving payment for this work of fiction.
----
The Day the AFGAN Tried to Take Over Hyrule
Chapter VI: The Final Battle
----
The AFGAN, the giant alien sheep and asparagus, and the giant alien dancing hamsters, pandas, and squirrels were about to clash head-on in the battle to finally decide who was to conquer Hyrule. However, before the battle started, Link showed up with several thousand Hylian soldiers, armed to their teeth.
"SO WE MEET AGAIN," one of the sheep said to one of the Hylian soldiers, who was missing an arm. The soldier looked nervously around and adverted his gaze. He didn't want to look at that sheep.
The battle commenced. The AFGAN, with their stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves, teeth, and ass covers dominated the destruction. The pandas used their extra sharp teeth to rip apart the asparagus, and soon the sheep were without partners. The squirrels were small enough (all these animals are much bigger than normal, but they are the same height in reference to each other) to dart in and out of the others and reek havoc on the penguins' feet. However, the squirrels met their match when they started to attack the sheep. The sheep's heads were close enough to the ground to eat the squirrels fairly easily. The flying cows were a formidable opponent to any species, but the hamsters suffered major loss.
There were spare body parts hanging off what was left of trees, blood spattered on the rock formations, and human bowels were hanging everywhere. (A/N: "Bowels in or bowels out?" –Hannibal Lector, Hannibal) The Hylian army that Link brought with him was no more. Link himself remained; using all the weapons he could get his hands on. Spare stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron gloves, teeth, and, whenever possible, an appropriately sized ass cover. He kicked ass. He killed as many sheep, squirrels, pandas, hamsters, cows, and, (unfortunately), penguins as he could. He was drenched in so much blood, his green tunic looked red.
After a very long fight, a very large and very ominous spaceship descended onto the battlefield. As a ramp lowered and a door opened, out stepped . . . bOsama bin Laden/b!!!
"HAIL THE MASTER!!!" All the giant alien species knelt before Osama.
Osama started to speak, in fractured English, "I come to join the battle."
As the shocked aliens composed themselves, they found that their enemies were kneeling before their master! "Do not be alarmed," Osama explained. "Me send all of you dolts to try to conquer Hyrule, so that I'd get control whether or not one force fails."
"Clever plan, but I don't care!" Link screamed out.
"Yeah, me neither," said some of the alien minions. "We've had enough. We don't want to fight any more." The minions backed off, forming a circle around Link, Osama, and the leaders of the respective groups.
SPLAT! SCREECH! BOOM!!!
All the leaders collided, with their respective weapons, aiming to kill each other. Throughout the course of the battle, the alliances between the AFGAN and otherwise, broke up. They were all on their own.
The penguin leader had a stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron glove leveled at a perfect angle to decapitate Link. Link had his Biggoron sword at Osama's throat, who had a gun at the sheep's head. The sheep had the squirrel's neck between his teeth, and the squirrel had his tail around the panda's neck, strangling him. The panda had his stainless steel, diamond coated, cast iron claws at the cow's neck, and the hamster was being slowly bitten in half by the cow. The hamster was clawing his way through the penguin's skull, and was about to liquefy the penguin's brain, when suddenly . . .
------------------------------
End of Chapter VI
------------------------------
Here's a recap of the situation so far:
Each person/thing has the other in a deathly bad situation:
PenguinLinkOsamasheepsquirrelpandacowhamsterpenguin
Let's see who wins . . .
