That was the Loki she knew and hated. He'd finally reared his head and, sadly, she was slightly relieved that he was being so cruel. This meant she was right to react to him this way. That meant that he was still the same manipulating monster she knew he had been.
She didn't bother to say anything back to him during his rant. He was confirming what she'd suspected…he'd used her. Took advantage of her in a moment of weakness.
Bastard.
When he slammed the door, the sound was deafening.
She sat on her bed as still as a statue for several moments before she collapsed against her bed, crying out in anger and hurt.
How could she have been so stupid?!
Natasha didn't allow herself to cry for very long. She forced herself out of her emotional stupor and showered before ensuring that her face was the picture of stoicism prior to leaving her apartment to go to SHIELD. She had to work today…and half of her wanted to tell them about Loki's little escape. The other half was ashamed that she'd allowed herself to be a pawn in his little escape plan.
Days ticked by, and her dreams lacked Loki's "special touch". There were times when she went out and she could sworn she saw him in the distance, but she quickly shook off the feeling and continued about her way.
Every night, when she returned to her apartment, she'd search every corner to be sure he wasn't hiding out in any dark corners. She knew it was only a matter of time before he began actively torturing her again.
Five days. It had taken five days for his magic to even begin to return to him and another week and a half for it to finally be at his full strength. He had to scuttle in the shadows, hoping that without his magic he would fail to come under Heimdall's radar. If they had come for him then it would have been like taking candy from a baby. He would have been utterly defenseless and then everything that he went through would have been for nothing.
The moment that he had enough power he casted an inversion spell so that he could not be seen by the gate keeper. The certainty that he was safe from their prying eyes made him breath much easier but he was not at peace until his potency was returned in full. The truth was even then serenity was something that alluded him.
It may have taken five days for him to feel the touch of any mystical energy but it had taken less than five minutes for him to regret his hasty words to Natasha. He found himself stalking her from great distances just to get a glimpse of how she was. And after his magic had begun to return, he had taken to using invisibility spells to go into her apartment unseen so that he could do nothing more than watch her sleep.
He was a man of very few real desires but once something got a hold of him it was very rare that he lost interest. He wanted to be King and he wanted to have his day of retribution for all those who had wronged him. And he wanted the Black Widow. He still wanted her even though he knew he shouldn't. Even though he knew how inconceivable it was that he could ever win her over. He couldn't get her out of his mind.
And it was with that in mind that he came up with his first plan to get under her skin. After all, if he had to suffer this unrest than so should she. It was only fair. He watched her as she stood in line at the coffee shop waiting patiently for her morning coffee. This was a morning ritual after her run around the park. He got behind her in line. She was wearing black running shorts and a green t-shirt. There were three other mortals ahead of her and the first one didn't seem to know what it wanted. He heard the slight intake of her breath as she sighed. His little spider was a very impatient woman. He was using a simple glamour to disguise himself slightly. His hair was short and ginger and a matching goatee framed his face.
"Green suits you," he remarked causing her to turn abruptly to face him. "You should wear it more often, my little spider."
Natasha was a good liar. She was almost good enough to lie to herself. Those dreams…the words Loki had said to her didn't mean anything. She was fine. Her life would go on as it had before.
Sometime during the second week, she admitted the truth to herself as she lay in bed, hoping against hope that the mischievous god would make just one more appearance within her dreams. A part of her wanted to tell him off…but another part of her wanted to find out if those tender words that declared his "feelings" for her had been true.
Natasha shook her head at the thought.
Of course they hadn't been true. They were lies and manipulations to get what he wanted.
She was sleeping even worse than she had been before his invasion of her thoughts and dreams, so caffeine was an essential part of her diet. Natasha stood in the coffee shop with arms crossed when she heard his rich voice in her ear.
Spinning around, she stared up at him. He looked different…he had facial hair…and his hair color was light. Her eyes wandered down his body and took in his clothing. He wore an impeccably-fitted white dress shirt whose sleeves were rolled up just above his elbows. His pants were blue slacks, fitting just tightly enough on his long legs to remind her exactly what she'd seen in her dream.
Coffee was forgotten now. She was as awake as she ever would be.
Natasha quickly moved out of line and slipped from the coffee shop. It was a futile attempt at escape. She knew he would follow…and that he did.
She stomped down the street and ran a hand through her windblown hair, speaking without turning to face him, "I was wondering how long it would take for you to come out of hiding and start playing your sick, fucking games. I thought you'd leave me alone…you seemed to say all you need to say to me the last time we met. I'm your gullible pet. You bested me and you enjoyed playing with my emotions. You enjoyed hurting me. Have you come to see how I'm healing up? Maybe try to reopen some of those wounds you so easily inflicted on me?!"
Natasha was ranting now…she could hear it. She couldn't help the subtle sting of tears as she fought hard to keep them from falling down her cheek. She'd actually allowed this…man…this god into her heart, and once in there, he'd made quite a mess of things.
Loki followed her as she quickly left the coffee shop, a light chuckle falling from his lips as he caught up and settled himself into an even pace at her side. He couldn't help but hear the emotion in her voice and for a moment he felt honest remorse for his part in her pain. He had been quite cruel in his taunts to her before he had left her apartment. He hadn't meant any of it. He was hurt and he wanted to hurt her in kind. A part of him wished to apologize and tell her the truth that he meant none of it. That if she were gullible that he was equally so because he had come to care for her deeply.
But this was the Black Widow and that he couldn't afford to forget. He remembered how easily she had used her so called emotions to get him to divulge his plans of using Banner. She was a master at the art of subterfuge. How easily she used her feminine wiles to confuse mortal men. So enthralled with her beauty and her delicate facade they never see the knife coming until it is far too late. He wanted her but he could not afford to lose his wits.
"Nothing so sinister. I assure you, my pet." His dark green eyes sparkling with mischief as they continued to walk down the sidewalk. "I was merely taking a stroll through your little city and enjoying my new found freedom, my little spider."
Natasha stopped and turned to face him, her eyes narrowed in a scrutinizing manner, "…and I suppose you just happened to be passing through the neighborhood and spotted me in that coffee shop. Next you're going to tell me that the feeling I get of being watched when I'm all alone in my apartment is just the subtle hint of paranoia instead of you actually being there."
She took a steadying breath in an attempt to calm herself as she let her eyes drift toward the road, "I've let my guard down with you once and I'm still paying the price for it. You got what you wanted. You got your freedom. You tricked me, Loki…you won. There's no need to gloat. You used me. You got to me. There. Are you happy now?! Congratulations. Now leave me to peacefully rot for the rest of my long life….please."
Her words were pleading and her eyes were genuine. This wasn't a part of her typical well-orchestrated acts. This was real. She'd already shared things with him that she couldn't and wouldn't tell anyone else…there was no reason in hiding behind her expert manipulations or lies anymore. She was hurting, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep a wall up in front of him
Natasha turned and continued walking up the street toward her brownstone apartment, pulling out her keys with shaking hands.
Loki was shocked by the genuine emotion that he could clearly see in her eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes that he had so enjoyed staring into. He couldn't help but be touched by her words and the sentiment that was so evident in her voice. It became difficult for him to imagine that this could be an act. Perhaps, he truly had affected her. Maybe, the lie had been that she could never care for him, that she hated him and that she thought of him as a monster. Against his better judgment he began to let himself feel hopeful. He longed to return to the way things were before she woke up.
The young god watched as she reached the door of her apartment and pulled out her keys. He could see the way her hands shook as she tried to place the key in the lock. He placed his hand over hers to steady her, his body pressed closely against her back. Her soft red curls tickled against his chin and he couldn't help but breathe in the scent of her perfume. He had missed being near her like this more than he would ever want to admit.
"You never let on that you knew I was there, pet," Loki mused as he enjoyed the sensation of her closeness. "I take no delight in your pain, my little spider, I would take it away if I could." He leaned down slightly to brush lips against her temple. "I would much prefer to give you pleasure."
With his help, she finally inserted the key inside of her lock an turned it. When she opened her apartment door, she stepped inside, creating a distance between them as she breathed out and yanked the key out of the lock. She glared up at him, "Everything you've ever told me was a lie…everything. You are the god of lies…and you are good at what you do. That one time I let you in…you fucked me over and I doubt you'd hesitate to do it again. You could have told me the truth when you…."
Her voice trailed off, refusing to allow herself to finish that sentence. Had she continued, she would have said '..when you realized I started to have feelings for you.'
Natasha shook her head and looked away, "I'm not your pet…or maybe I am. I don't know. A lot of people abuse their pets…" She lowered her voice and started to close the door, "I don't trust you…I can't believe a word you say…"
Loki placed his hand on the edge of the door, refusing to let her close it as he pushed his way inside of her apartment. He wasn't sure how to react. He wasn't use to these feelings that were bubbling up inside of him. The young god ran his fingers through his now ginger locks as he tried to decide what he should do. He wasn't about to risk making a fool out of himself and yet he couldn't stop thinking that perhaps this was his opportunity to make her understand that he hadn't been lying about the way he felt about her.
"I may be the god of lies but that doesn't mean that I never tell the truth," Loki began tentatively. "You are a master at the art of deception yourself, how do I know anything that you say is true?" He strutted toward where she stood. With the gentlest of motions he captured a soft, red ringlet between his fingers as his dark emerald eyes searched hers. "The night we spent together I didn't lie to you. I didn't tell you everything but the words I spoke were all true, the things I felt were real." Loki threw caution to the wind as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, praying that she would respond to him as he deepened his movements.
A sound that could best be described as a whimper of desperation passed through her lips and into his mouth as she kissed him back. This was wrong…so wrong…but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't longed for his touch. She took his face in her hands and broke the kiss, pressing her forehead against his as she breathed out, "It wasn't real…it was a dream…and the only reason why you did it was so that you could be free…you don't really want me…"
God, she hoped and prayed that he really did want her….
Natasha wanted to know that he was capable of genuine emotion, but there was no way to tell. Yes, she was the mistress of deception, but he could destroy worlds with his powers…he'd nearly destroyed hers.
"Can you really doubt how much I want you," Loki whispered sensually as he stared into her eyes, their foreheads touching as he ran his finger along her lips, tracing the soft flesh before leaning in to kiss her once more. "I want you, my little spider, desperately so."
Natasha started to speak, but his lips muffled her words and smothered her thoughts, shutting down all thinking and rationale. She should have pushed him away. She should have kicked him out and immediately called SHIELD….
Instead, she moaned against his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck as she practically climbed up his body to wrap her legs around his middle. They stumbled through her apartment until they reached her bedroom, falling backwards on the mattress as they eagerly worked to rid each other of their clothing.
She ripped open his shirt, causing buttons to fly everywhere before she greedily ran her hands down his bare chest.
Loki's heart leaped at the unbridled lust that she displayed before him as she ripped his shirt from his body. He could feel the shudder throughout his limbs as her fingers ran down his bare chest.
"I can do you one better, pet," he grinned wickedly as all of her clothing disappeared with a flick of his fingers, grabbing her by the neck he pulled her down on top of him for a passionate kiss before he flipped their bodies so she was beneath him. The young god moved down her luscious form, nipping and suckling her ripe nipple between his teeth as he cupped her other breast in his hand. By the nines, how he had missed her body. "How I've missed you, my little spider. I've thought of little else since we parted."
Natasha's body shuddered in desire as his lips lavished her breasts with soft, wet kisses. She could barely form coherent thoughts as their naked limbs entangled.
"Loki…" she breathed as she ran her fingers through his soft hair. She tightened her thighs around him, silently begging him for more. "I want you…for real this time…"
Loki released his spell suddenly as his long dark hair fell across his shoulders. He had almost forgotten about the glamour but he wanted no magic between them this time. He eased himself into her slowly, almost reverently as he watched her head fall back and her eyes close at the sensation of their joining. His thrusts were slow at first, the feeling of being inside of her was blissful torture as she moved against him with complete abandon. His rhythm increased as she trembled beneath him. The sound of his name was all he needed to send him over the edge as he rocked inside of her over and over. He couldn't contain himself any longer as she convulsed beneath him, groaning in blissful agony as he exploded inside of her. He collapsed onto the mattress, pulling her against his chest in one swift motion.
"That was… it was..," his silvertongue failing him as he attempted to catch his breath. He ran his fingers gently across her back, he could feel the scars that she had spoken of along his fingers. His dark green eyes peered down into hers. "You are even more beautiful… your dreams don't do you justice, my little spider." he whispered between ragged breaths.
Natasha's body was covered by a soft sheen of sweat as they lay against her bed, limbs blissfully overlapping as they floated down off of their perspective highs. She hummed in contented agreement when he lacked he ability to form words to describe their joining. She too was at a loss for coherent thought.
She brushed her lips against his chest and closed her eyes, murmuring his name against his skin.
They shouldn't have done what they just did for a lot of reasons, but Natasha couldn't bring herself to care about any one of them as she lay in his arms. She wasn't sure if she could trust him…but her body wasn't giving her the choice to second guess anything.
She wanted him…and that was that.
They lay in silence for several moments, their ragged breathing slowly calming and returning to a normal, silent tone.
She stroked his chest and murmured softly, "What happens now?"
Loki lied there in a state of perfect contentment. It was a strange feeling for him and one that he was definitely not used to. For the young god everything seemed quite simple. "That is easy," he grinned as he kissed her cheek and then moved to her lips as his arm tightened around her waist. "You come away with me."
Natasha returned his kiss, but furrowed her eyebrows in slight confusion, "Come away with you? What do you mean by that?"
