It felt weird without Finn at McKinley.

There was no one with his tall structure to part the was no one with his renown goofy smile. There was no one with his confused expression. Or at least pull it off with still looking like the cutest guy there.

The hallways seemed bleak.

Plain.

She noticed him more than she ever did now that he was gone. Occasionally she would see Karofsky on crutches, his face barely recognizable. Azimo was right. He looked worse than Finn did. But at least Karofsky was awake.

She leant against her locker, searching for Finn's heart inside her.

It was still there.

But feeble, fast, uneven.

She didn't talk to anybody lately, except maybe her mom.

But not even her a lot. She felt cut off from her, her mom tried to sympathize, tried to distract her, but it never worked. Her mind always wandered back to the hallways of the hospital, to Finn. The final bell for the day rang as she pulled her bag over her shoulder, looking out for Coach Sylvester. Everybody was leaving fast, except for people who had afterschool activities. She turned to take the long way to the parking lot, she didn't want to go home and see her mom trying her hardest to make her smile. It was heartbreaking. Then she passed the auditorium, remembering when Mr. Shue had said that singing about something made you feel better about it. She looked quickly from side to side, hoping no one was watching her open the thick door. She let her gaze wander around, every time she was here it always surprised her how big the auditorium was. She walked up the black steps, towards the piano, remembering the tunes and the chords. Quinn began playing, her hands fluttering over the keys. Hoping that no one would hear her, that no one would see her cry.

You used to call me every day
the words mean nothing
without someone to say
now I stand beside myself in the pouring rain
and I just want to see your face

When you're far away
I miss you
but I know you're here with me
when you're far away
I need you

Quinn stops playing here. It's the male lead, and there's no one to sing with. She stops and stands up, turning to leave when she hears the drum kit starting to play.

Then she hears his voice.

I lie awake it's ten past three

this empty feeling
and baby I can't sleep
the only thing I left behind
a smile you can't see

I need you

She turns around and sees Finn there. Smiling, handing the drum sticks to someone else, walking towards her, holding out his hand. She doesn't smile back, the tears still gushing down her face, but she takes his hand and he pulls her towards him. He can't be real...But she holds on to him, not letting him go.

When you're far away
I miss you
But time won't heal the pain
when you're far away
I need you

Finn twirls her around and returns to the drum kit. She turns around and faces him, seeing him looking normal, like he was in her dream, before he disappeared. Please be real...

And I won't go back
and I can't go back
you're all I ever needed
I want you back
but you can't come back
you know I didn't mean it
I take it back
and still I pray
for one more chance
for one more day with you
with you.

He stands up again holding her close. She presses her head against his chest, feeling the strong, steady beating of his heart.

When you're far away
I need you

When you're far away
I miss you
but I know you're here with me
when you're far away
I need you

She guides him back towards the piano, and sits down, his arm still around her, and plays the final tune.

When you're far away
I need you


The music stopped.

But Quinn could still hear the echo of the piano, the drums, Finn...

Then she noticed the pressure around her waist was gone. He was gone. The realization hit her hard. Of course he wasn't real. Life wasn't that kind. But he had felt real. She had felt his arms pull her in, his strong heart beating. As if his fight with Karofsky had never happened. As if he had forgiven her. She put her face in her hands, the keys of the piano striking different notes as her elbows hit the cold ivory. As she continued sobbing, she heard a clap from the audience. She turned around wiping the tears from her face with her hand.

It was Mr. Shue. He got up from his seat and squeezes out of the aisle, walking towards her, still clapping. "That was great Quinn", he said when he reached her.

"He was there" was all Quinn managed to say.

"Who was there?" Mr. Shue said, looking around, trying to spot someone else.

"Finn" she whispered.

"Quinn..." Mr. Shue began, "I was watching you the whole time, the only person on stage was you".

"I know it sounds crazy, but he was there Mr. Shue, I felt him, he held- held me" Quinn choked out before she started crying. She felt his warm body envelop around her, wishing it was Finn. Because it hurt, so much, when he told her that she was the only one in the auditorium, except for himself, because for a moment, she actually believed that he was going to be ok. She believed that he would wake up, that he'd play the drums again, and football, and sing.

Do everything that he used to.

"It's all my fault Mr. Shue" her voice slightly muffled. She pulled away, not wanting his sympathy when she remembered what she had done. "If I hadn't slept with Puck, Karofsky would have no reason to call me a whore! Finn is dying because of me! You can take your sympathy. I don't deserve it!" She yelled. All her guilt, her pain, her anger surging through her body, clouding her better judgment. She saw Mr. Shue flinch and immediately felt bad for screaming at him.

Mr. Shue sighed, "Quinn, this is not your fault. You didn't make Finn start the fight. You may have been the topic of discussion, which caused Finn to defend you, but you didn't make Finn defend you. He chose to". He looked at her, trying to see some sort of understanding in her eyes, maybe a flicker of hope.

But there was just pain.

She started shaking her head furiously, tears dripping from her overflowing eyelids.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, if he never knows that I will always love him, it doesn't matter if everyone else in the whole freakin' world thinks that it's not my fault. And it doesn't matter if he wakes up. And it didn't matter that I was pregnant at 16, and got fat, and threw up practically every hour. I had Finn. He was… amazing. And I destroyed the best part of my life in less than 10 seconds. Everything that I had was falling apart. But it was ok, because he was there. And then, Rachel told him, the best part of my world crumbled to the ground as well. I had nothing"

Mr. Shue just looked at her. She wished he would say something. When nothing had escaped his lips, she turned around, heading to her car.

Heading back to a place where she could relive the best parts of her life.


Quinn was surprised. She actually hadn't expected singing Far Away would help. And it didn't, it made her feel worse. But after her little meltdown earlier, she felt… lighter about her guilt. As if someone else knowing how bad she felt would relieve the pain. Quinn was still walking through the hospital, turning the last corner to Finn's room. She needed to talk to him, he would always listen to her. Too bad someone was already in there.

And it wasn't Carole, or Burt, or Kurt.

It wasn't even Rachel.


Ok. I lied. This one is more of the showdown :/ whoops.

I AM going to slow down the guilt train.

Trust me.

I wonder who will actually guess who's in Finn's room. Haha. Competition: whoever guesses who's in the room. Anyways… hope you liked it. I know, I know. Quinn showdown. Again. But whatever, I'm kinda on a roll of doing flashbacks, so you can expect a flashback in each chapter from now on… Well actually it depends… If you want me to still do them… Let me know in a review… So my chapter was shorter than the last, and next chapter is like 1,000 words.

Sorry.

'But they'll continue getting bigger. Promise.

Have a good week-end and I love you all :)

P.S. Oh yea, song's Far Away- Julia Sheer