"Yay snacks!" Ruby cheered as she and the rest of team RWBY walked back into the rec room, carry a new influx of junk food. Nora popped up from the couch she had been laying on and took Ruby into her arms. "~Snacks, Snacks, Snacks~" They sung as they danced around the room.

Weiss looked at the display with disbelief. "What are you, five?"

"I sure hope not." Ren spoke up. "I don't think I'm comfortable with a five-year old playing Cards Against Remnant."

"Speaking of which, Lllllllet's play!" Yang yelled. The others hastily sat down and picked up their hands. Yang drew the first black card of the round, read it and began to wail in despair. "Ahhhhhhrrrrrr! This is so unfair! I have the perfect card for this. Why am I Card Czar?"

"Read the card, Yang." Blake said, ignoring her partner's melodrama.

"Fine. Blank is the right of all sentient beings." Yang said and soon she was given all the answering white cards. "Let's see. Some fucking peace and quiet is the right of a all sentient beings."

"Yes it is." A cold voice spoke, lowering the room's temperature by several degrees. The two teams all felt a sense of dread as they turned to the open door. Standing in the door frame was Professor Goodwitch.

"H-h-h-hello Professor. W-what can we do for you this evening." Ruby spoke up, deciding to take the brunt of the icy teacher's wrath and spare her friends the pain.

"I have received far too many noise complaints, as well as several reports of…" Prof. Goodwitch's voice, incredibly, turned even colder, "indecent behavior and language. Because no one has said exactly who is the perpetrator, I am delivering a warning to all Beacon students."

"Some people are trying to sleep and we still are entertaining guests from the other kingdoms. It is imperative that Beacon's reputation not be damaged. If I receive any more complaints, I will have to start handing out punishments. Understand?" Prof. Goodwitch paused long enough for her students to nod in agreement. "Good. See to it that there aren't any more complaints."

The fearsome Professor turned and left, closing the door behind her. Before the teens could relax the door creaked open and Goodwitch stuck her head back in. "Oh, and children?" She gave them a small, but genuine smile. "It's good to see you having fun. Enjoy the rest of your evening." And with that she left them in peace.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. "Well that was fun while it lasted." Jaune said dejectedly.

"What are you talking about?" Nora asked. "She didn't say we had to stop playing, she just wants us to be quiet."

Weiss raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Nora, do you really think it's possible to stay quiet while playing this?" Nora started to reply, but she paused and closed her mouth, shaking her head sadly.

"Technically, we don't have to be quiet." Ren pointed out "We just have to make sure people don't complain."

Ruby's eyes lit up. "Ren you genius, you just gave me an idea." The little red reaper flashed away before anyone could say anything in a flurry of rose petals.

"She really needs to stop doing that." Blake said.

"Stop doing what?"

"GAH!" Blake screamed and leapt out of her chair as Ruby appeared behind her in a cloud of rose petals. In her arms was a pile of thick blankets.

"Help me hang these from the walls. They'll serve as soundproofing." Ruby explained while handing out the quilts.

Weiss looked impressed. "That's actually pretty smart. I need to stop being surprised when you have good ideas."

Ruby squeed and wrapped her arms around the heiress. "Thanks Weiss."

Soon the two teams where done with the impromptu soundproofing and Yang began to read the next card. "A homoerotic volleyball montage is the right of all sentient beings. Oh yeah, totally."

Nora gasped loudly as she came up with the best idea ever. She lent over and began to hurriedly whisper her thoughts in Pyrrha's ear. Pyrrha's face turned as red as her hair, but she also began to nod furiously in agreement. Jaune and Ren exchanged worried looks.

Yang noticed looks of apprehension the two boys wore and decided to take pity on them. "I know what you guys are thinking, and I just want to point out that homoerotic could technically mean girl-on-girl too."

"Yeah, I don't think I've got that kind of luck." Jaune said morosely.

Nora looked up from her conversation with her female teammate. "Well, if you do what we want, I suppose you'll deserve a reward." Pyrrha blushed even harder, turning almost purple, but she didn't voice any objections.

Deciding that that particular conversation had gone on long enough, Yang read the next answer. "Waking up half-naked in a Simple Wok parking lot is the right of all sentient life."

"It is?" Weiss asked skeptically.

"Apparently." Yang replied before reading another card. "Inappropriate yodeling is the right of all sentient beings."

"Why?" Blake asked.

"I don't know, I just read the damn things!" Yang yelled. She took a deep breath and calmed down as her eyes had flashed red for a brief moment of constantly being interrupted. "I really hope the next one makes sense. Edible underpants are the right of all sentient beings." Yang burst out laughing.

"Oh yes, that makes perfect sense." Weiss snarked.

"It does? It just sounds sticky to me. Why would you ever want edible underwear?" Nora asked, completely oblivious to the sarcasm that was dripping from the heiress voice.

Yang opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by her sister. "If you say sexy times I will smack you." Ruby threatened.

Yang said "Sexy times." Ruby smacked her.

Yang rubbed where she had been hit. "Getting stronger Sis." She mentioned as she reached for the next white card. "Alright, dying is the right of all sentient beings."

"Not so much a right as an inevitability." Ren said in his usual, calm voice.

"And the final right of all sentient beings is…" Yang paused for dramatic effect, "Oatmeal raisin cookies."

"NO!" Ruby barked immediately. Everyone turned to look at the girl. "What? They're disgusting."

"I agree." Yang said while reviewing her options. "Hmm, Not a lot of good ones. Oh, wait! I can't believe I forgot." Yang smacked herself in the face. "A homoerotic volleyball montage wins, obviously. Who played it?"

No one answered for a few seconds before Nora facepalmed as well. "I totally spaced out for a moment their, sorry. I played that." Yang rolled her eyes, but handed the awesome point over the hammer-wielder.

Weiss picked up the next black card and started to smile joyously. "Ha! Perfect." She looked around the room at her friends. " No! I don't care what you say, Blank is not a weapon. Well, let's see how creative you guys can get."

"Oh, we can get real creative." Blake said sinisterly.

"I look forward to it." Weiss said as she collected the white cards. "Alright. Blah, blah, blah, masturbation is not a weapon."

"And we start with sexual assault right of the bat." Ren deadpanned.

"We're terrible people, aren't we." Pyrrha said, defeated.

Ignoring them, Weiss proceeded to the next card. "Anal beads are not weapons."

"I'm beginning to sense a pattern." Jaune said.

"Onaholes are not weapons."

"Sheesh. Did we all just decide to be perverts this round." Ruby wondered.

"Old-people smell is not a weapon."

Blake shook her head. "Says you."

"Da-" Weiss started to read the next card but interrupted herself. "Okay, who ever played this? Screw you. Daddy issues are not a weapon."

Awkward silence reined. Eventually, Weiss read the next card. "Killer stuffed animals are not weapons."

"But they are adorable." Ruby said.

"And finally, a buttegg is not a weapon." Weiss sighed. "That round was less then inspired. I'm not going with any perverted answers because, honestly, I saw that coming. And I'm definitely not going with daddy issues. So killer stuffed animals wins."

"That would be me." Ren said. After claiming his card he reminded Ruby that she was Card Czar.

"I know, I know." Ruby replied as she reached for a new black card. When she read it she started to giggle uncontrollably. "Heheheheheheheheheh. Oh this is too funny. On her new album, Weiss Schnee sings to the sounds of Blank."

Everyone looked at Weiss to catch her reaction. Surprisingly, she wasn't shouting. Instead she looked a little bit in shock. "I…I…I hate everything." She said, sounding as though she had just come to an epiphany. She then proceeded to have a mini-breakdown. "I hate everything. I'm going to leave here right now, I'm going to go research on nuclear weapons, I'm going to have a few built and then I'll blow everything up. Everything. Only then will this be okay."

"Come on, Weiss." Jaune said, comfortingly. "It's not that bad. After all, we're all friends here. Look, I promise that I won't play anything offensive." He even gave her a friendly hug.

Weiss smiled slightly, seeing that Jaune was being sincere. "Thanks, Jaune. That's really nice of you." She pulled her self back together, settling back into her normal, confident attitude. "Still, That doesn't stop the rest of them from absolutely ruining my reputation."

"Nope." Yang declared, having already played her card. "Buuuuut, If I win and it makes you feel horrible I'll give the point." Yang thought about this for a moment. "Actually, I won't but I will feel guilty." Weiss gave the blond a look that just screamed 'unamused'.

"Weiss, your card please." Ruby gently reminded her partner. Weiss gave her cards a quick look and handed one to Ruby. Ruby quickly shuffled the card in with the others, then picked one and read it. "Alright. On her new album, Weiss Schnee sings to the sound of wiping her butt."

Weiss groaned. "Ruby, I'm borrowing your headphones. Tell me when this is over." Ruby, feeling sympathetic, handed her headphones over. Weiss plugged them in, placed them over her ears, turned up the volume and proceeded to tune out the world.

Ruby made sure her partner was fine, then returned to the game." Next, Weiss Schnee sings to the sound of the primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now."

"All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not home to overhear them this time." Jaune said.

"Wait, what?" Pyrrha looked at her leader in shock.

"My household has eight children and thin walls." Jaune said by way of explanation.

"Rrrrrright, moving on." Ruby grabbed the next white card. "Weiss Schnee sings to the sound of silence."

"That one's Jaune's." Nora pointed out.

"Yep." Jaune admitted.

"I'm sure that Weiss appreciates you keeping your promise." Ruby said, glancing at her partner, who was nodding her head back and forth in time with the music. "Even if she can't hear us right now. Next! Weiss sings to the sound of pooping back and forth. Forever."

"That's disgusting." Jaune said, sticking his tongue out.

Blake rolled her eyes. "Thanks Captain obvious."

Ruby giggled as she read the next card. "Next! Weiss sings to the sound of a tiny horse."

"Think that one's Weiss's? It's not offensive at all." Yang wondered.

Ren shrugged. "Probably."

"Next! Weiss sings to the sound of the inevitable heat death of the universe." Ruby gave that card a curious look. "How in the world would you record that?"

"If you're Weiss, you do that by throwing money at people until they figure it out." Yang snickered.

Ruby pouted at her big sister. "Yang, that's not very nice. You know Weiss isn't like that."

Yang stopped laughing and looked guilty. "Okay, yeah. Do I still have to apologize if she didn't her me say it?"

Ruby pondered that for a minute. "Nah. I think the best thing we can do for her is finish this round. Speaking of which… NEXT! Weiss sings to the sound of fingering."

Nora held her fingers up and started wiggling them back and forth. "Blalalalalalalalala."

The others, except Weiss, laughed so hard they started to collapse. "Nora," Yang tried to speak while gasping for breath, "That's not how you finger a girl."

Nora crossed her arms and sulked. "Well maybe I need someone to teach me."

"Hahahaha, Finger-, haha, Fingering wins." Ruby barely managed to force the words out past the laughter. Pyrrha stopped laughing long enough to add the new black card to her mountain.

Eventually the group of friends got their giggles back under control and they prepped for the next round. They all refilled their hands, Ren drew a new black card and Ruby took her headphones back from Weiss, who asked who had won.

"Pyrrha." Blake answered.

"I'm shocked." Weiss didn't sound shocked at all. "Do I want to know what the card was that won?"

"Probably not." Pyrrha replied. "Although it wasn't as bad compared to some of the others."

"Well this should be interesting." Ren said as he put showed the black card to the others. "Yes! I escaped the Blank… All thanks to Blank."

"Crap! I have no good cards." Yang grumbled.

"Me too." Weiss added.

"Sweet. Less competition for me." Ruby said, grinning confidently.

"Alright, you know the drill." Ren got the groups attention. "Put your two cards down in front of you and we'll go in Card Czar order. And since I'm feeling generous, I'll be the one reading the cards." He then picked up Yang's cards. "Let's get started. Yes! I escaped the mime having a stroke… All thanks to figgy pudding."

"Told you my cards sucked." Yang moped.

Pyrrha giggled. "Well, I think it's funny."

"Too bad you're not Card Czar." Yang huffed.

"True. I am. Weiss?" Ren asked the heiress for her cards. "Yes! I escaped the icepick lobotomy… all thanks to a bag of magic beans."

"Let me guess, Pyrrha likes this one too." Jaune glanced at his partner, who was too busy giggling to answer verbally, so instead she nodded vigorously.

Ruby slipped Ren her cards. When he read them he started howling with laughter.

"Is he gonna faint again?" Ruby asked Nora, concerned.

"I'm good." Ren said, reining in his laughter. "Still, Ruby this is really good. Yes! I escaped a disappointing birthday party… All thanks to jerking off into a pool of children's tears."

"Damn, Ruby! That's messed up!" Jaune shouted.

"I was right, it does run in the family." Blake muttered under her breath.

"Pyrrha, your turn." Ren said, holding out his hand for her cards. "Yes! I escaped the corporations… all thanks to a ball of earwax, semen and toenail clippings."

Nora was unimpressed. "Gross." Most of the other's shared the sentiment.

"That's not my fault." Pyrrha tried to defend herself. "All my cards are gross. That's literally the least disgusting combination I could play."

"I feel so sorry for you." Ren didn't sound sorry at all. "Nora, your cards please."

"Her you go Renny." Nora passed Ren her cards. Ren took one look, cringed hard, and then wordlessly handed them back. "Do you want me to read them?" Nora asked softly. Ren closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes! I escaped the men… All thanks to testicular torsion." Ren flinched again. Jaune squeaked and cupped his crotch protectively. Yang, Weiss and Blake started to laugh at their expense.

After the two men had recovered, Jaune gave Ren his cards, which he then read. "Yes, I escaped shapeshifters… all thanks to the token minority."

"Hey!" Blake shouted.

"What's with all the random answers this turn?" Ren asked no one in particular as he retrieved Blake's cards. "Speaking of which. Yes! I escaped Vikings… All thanks to crystal meth. I'm going to give this one to Ruby. Hers was the only one that made sense."

"What about Nora's." Yang asked.

"I'd rather not think about that." Ren admitted.

Pyrrha picked up the next black card and read it. "What's General Ironwood thinking about right now?"

"Sheesh, he's on these cards almost as much as Weiss." Jaune complained.

Eventually, after some stalling, Pyrrha had seven blank cards in her possession. "What's General Ironwood thinking about right now? My humps." Pyrrha blushed while Yang and Blake laughed.

Jaune, meanwhile, was having an internal debate. It went a little like this. Should I say he's not the only one? That would be pretty funny. I know Yang would laugh at least. Weiss might hurt me though, and Pyrrha would definitely be embarrassed. I don't get women. Why is that some girls, like Yang, would take it as a compliment, but Pyrrha just gets all flustered. I mean it's not like she doesn't have curves. She does. I've seen them. Up close. Those tight, firm, perfect curves… Well crap. Now I actually am thinking about her humps. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! I shouldn't be thinking about a friend like that. Especially since she'd never be interested in me. But, seriously, Pyrrha's hotter than the sun in the middle of July…

And so it went. Jaune was so wrapped up in the cycle of think about how beautiful his partner was and feeling bad about it that he missed Pyrrha reading out the next card. "What's General Ironwood thinking about right how? Doing the right thing."

Meanwhile, down in Vale, General Ironwood sneezed. Great, now she's contagious. He thought as he regarded the oblivious girl in front of him. Where was I? Oh, right. It had been approaching midnight and Ironwood had been finishing up some paper work when his robotic ward had burst into his office excitedly babbling about getting a cold. I was going to humour her but if she's contagious then she might actually be sick. I should get some of the lab boys to look at her. This could be a major problem. I can't have my super prototype laid low by a simple cold. Also, those nerds will probably salivate at the chance to study this particular physical impossibility. Honestly, she's made of metal! How is she sneezing?

A cute sneeze and a small crash jerked the General from his reverie. Penny, who had been balancing on her chair just moments ago, was now sprawled on the floor rubbing the back of her head. She looked up at her father figure. "Oops."

Oh, who am I kidding? General Ironwood sighed. "Come here you." He then picked Penny up and carried her off to bed. I wonder if I still remember the recipe for Mama's chicken noodle soup?

Back at Beacon Pyrrha was about to read the next card when Nora interrupted her. "Does anyone else feel like something heart-warming just happened and we missed it?"

"No?" Pyrrha answered cautiously. Then others agreed with the champion so instead she read the next card. "What's General Ironwood thinking about right now? Centaurs." Pyrrha started to giggle. "That's so silly."

"Anyone else find it disturbing that the biggest badass of all of us is giggling at centaurs?" Blake asked.

"Hey!" Yang exclaimed in offense.

Blake raised an eyebrow at her partner. "Really?"

Yang's shoulder's sagged. "I like to pretend, ok?"

"Eh? What are you girls talking about?" Pyrrha asked obliviously.

"Nothing." Yang said sullenly.

"Well… Okay." Pyrrha said, deciding to ignore Yang's darkened mood. "What's Ironwood thinking about right now? Overcompensation."

"And with our new Atlesian Paladins, you'll never feel inadequate again, no matter how small you penis is!" Nora pitched in a perfect imitation of the General. Ruby and Pyrrha giggled, while Jaune and Yang laughed outright.

Pyrrha selected the next card. "What's Ironwood thinking about right now? Dropping your pants and saluting."

Ruby stuck out her tongue. "Atlas's military is weird."

"What's General Ironwood thinking about right now? Getting so angry you pop a boner." Pyrrha shook her head. "I seriously hope not. And finally, right now General Ironwood is thinking about… the homosexual agenda." After the laughter died down Pyrrha picked a winner. "Centaurs wins."

Yang snatched the black card away from the champion. "Woo! Guess I know who I should give my burn cards to."

"My turn!" Nora excitedly read the next black card. "When I was tripping on acid blank turned into blank."

"Hey Nora?" Jaune grabbed his teammates attention. "How come you keep getting black cards that have to do with substance abuse?" Nora's grin fell and she smacked the blond. "Ow!"

"You deserve it." Nora grumbled. "Never mind let's get started." She returned to her peppy state as she was passed Yang's cards. "When I was tripping acid all-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99 turned into flying sex snakes."

Weiss shuddered. "I am never trying drugs. Ever." Then she handed her cards to Nora.

"When I was tripping on acid growing a pair turned into civilian casualties."

"That sound more like steroids then acid." Yang pointed out.

"Ruby's turn." Nora picked up the red reaper's cards. "When I was tripping on acid my soul turned into sperm whales."

Blake blinked. "Um, what?" She said in shock.

"Ruby, that's not how drugs work." Yang pointed out.

"You don't know that!" Ruby yelled.

Nora moved on with out comment. "When I was tripping on acid free samples turned into smegma. Hrk!" Nora started coughing as she narrowly avoided throwing up into her mouth as she finished reading Ren's cards.

"Sorry. I needed to get rid of those cards and I figured you'd be the least likely to hit me." Ren explained calmly as Nora caught her breath. Nora glared daggers at the boy and then she hit him upside the head.

"Jerk." Nora fumed as she picked up Pyrrha's cards. "When I was tripping acid a bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal people turned into throwing a virgin into a volcano." Nora's attitude did a 180, going from surly to ecstatic in an instant. "Can we actually do that? Pleasepleasepleaseplease."

"Sure, but where are we going to get a virgin at this time of night." Blake snarked. The group paused and then as one they turned to look at Jaune.

"Ok, I know you guys aren't going to believe me but I am not a virgin." Jaune said forcefully.

"You're right." Weiss said. "We don't believe you." The others nodded along.

Jaune groaned. "Just read my cards."

"Okay." Nora answered happily. "Crumbs all over the fucking carpet turned into a monkey smoking a cigar."

"Holy crap." Yang swore. "That's some strong acid."

"And finally when I was tripping on acid half-assed foreplay turned into getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Vale and dying." Nora sighed happily. "I love happy endings. Blake wins."

"Fantastic." Blake said as Nora threw the black card at her.

"My turn then?" Jaune checked before he retrieved a new black card. "How to turn blank into blank… Step one: blank."

Yang pushed her cards into Jaune's face immediately. "Read 'em. Now."

"Uh, Yang? The rest aren't done picking their cards yet." Jaune pointed put nervously.

"Whatever. I'm going first anyway." Yang brushed off Jaune's concern.

"Okay…" Jaune gave in and took the cards. "How to turn a subscription to Men's Fitness into children on leashes. Step one: Viagra."

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Blake stared at her partner in disbelief.

"I can't believe you where eager to have that read out loud." Weiss said imperiously as she gave Jaune her cards.

"Screw you. That was hilarious." Yang crossed her arms in front of her angrily, which did interesting things to her chest.

Jaune cleared his throat to regain the group's attention. "How to turn genuine human connection into seppuku. Step one: vehicular manslaughter."

"Man that's dark." Ren said. "I wish I'd played it."

"Why? It's not going to win." Jaune questioned his friend before moving on to Ruby's cards. "How to turn natural male enhancement into panda sex. Step one: drinking alone."

Yang burst out laughing while the other's looked at Ruby with various levels of disgust, confusion and shock. Just as Ruby started to explain herself, Yang tackle-hugged her. "I'm so proud of you, Ruby! That was even better then mine!" Tears of joy started to well up in the brawlers eyes. "My little sister's all grown-up."

"It was just a dirty joke." Weiss mumbled.

"Shut it! It was awesome and hilarious and perfect." Yang snapped.

"Yang, please calm down." Ruby said, awkwardly patting her sister on the back.

"Alright, but if you don't win I'll be very disappointed."

"Ren, can you give me you cards, please." Jaune asked, a slight hint desperation in his voice. Ren slide his cards to his team leader and Jaune read them aloud. "How to turn lockjaw into binging and purging. Step one: dry heaving."

"Well, that's a pleasant mental image." Blake snarked.

"Are all of these going to be disgusting?" Jaune asked anxiously. Pyrrha looked nervous.

"Mine's not disgusting." Nora said, causing Jaune to look up with hope. "Just depressing." Jaune groaned in defeat.

Blake looked at the knight with sympathy. "Don't worry Jaune. You'll like mine."

"If you say so." Jaune sighed before straighten up and taking Pyrrha's cards. "Let's just get this over with. How to turn child beauty pageants into expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor. Step one: Inserting a mason jar into my anus." Jaune stopped and read it out again. And then a third time.

"Fuck, Jaune! Stop saying that!" Weiss demanded.

"Saying what?" Jaune asked. "I haven't read Pyrrha cards yet."

Yang jaw dropped. "Okay. I give up. Pyrrha, you've managed get Jaune to repress something instantly. You win."

"Really?" Ruby sounded skeptical.

"Yeah, no." Yang admitted with a grin. "I guess I just have try even harder."

Blake looked horrified. "Thanks a lot Pyrrha."

"Sorry."

Jaune looked around, confused. "I don't know what you guys are talking about but I'm gonna read Pyrrha's card now."

"NO!" The others screamed at him.

Weiss cleared her throat. "Just… skip to Nora's. Please."

"Well… Alright." Jaune shrugged and switched Pyrrha's cards for Nora's. "How to turn racism into this year's mass shooting. Step one: public ridicule."

"You were right Nora. That is depressing." Ruby said sadly.

"The worst part is that she's probably right." Blake sounded angry.

"Blake? You said that yours was better?" Jaune quickly changed the subject.

Blake's attitude improved noticeably. "Yes. I think you'll really like it." She said with a smile as she handed over her cards.

"How to turn your weird brother into a can of whoop-ass. Step one: a tribe of warrior woman." Jaune read, ginning happily. "Thanks Blake. That was really nice. You win."

"You know, that's not quite right." Ren said, drawing the group's attention. "There is no tribe training him. Its just Pyrrha."

Nora gasped. "He's right! The rest of us should help train Jaune too." The rest of the girls nodded eagerly.

Except for Pyrrha. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. It just wouldn't do to have Jaune study to many different combat styles. It would, uh, interrupt muscle memory, and… stuff. That's why I need to be the one to train him. Yeah." Pyrrha, it should be noted, was a terrible liar.

"I don't know Pyrrha. I think it might be a good idea." Jaune said, oblivious to the anguish he was causing his partner. "If I just practice with you all the time I'll get too familiar with your style and I won't be able to adapt to new situations." Jaune's mind switched over from bumbling dork to tactical genius. "How about this: We keep the training schedule we've got and you help me with aura manipulation and coming up with new sword techniques. And then I can spar with the girls to test out what I've learned."

"Well… Okay." Pyrrha agreed, satisfied that her private time with her crush wouldn't be going away anytime soon.

"Perfect." Blake said, already looking forward to it "With that out of the way, it's my turn as Card Czar. If you're happy and you know it, blank." She read off of the black card in her hand.

"Are you going to do Weiss's thing where she changed the answer so they make sense?" Nora asked hopefully. "Cause I don't have any verbs."

"Sure Nora." Blake replied. Nora grinned and slapped a card down. The others quickly followed suit and Blake read the first card. "If you're happy and you know it, ride off into the sunset."

Yang snorted. "That sounds boring."

"I think it sounds romantic." Ruby argued.

Yang rolled her eyes. "You played it, didn't you."

"I will neither confirm or deny that." Ruby's attempt to sound mature was ruined when she stuck her tongue out. "Ngn."

Blake looked at the next card and smirked. "I know I said I'd make it make try to make the cards make sense but I think this next one is funnier as is. If you happy and you know it, hot cheese." Pyrrha, Jaune, Ruby and Yang all chuckled.

Nora, however, looked crestfallen. "You said you'd make it make sense." She whined.

"Sorry Nora." Blake said guiltily. "But I really don't know what you want me to do. Besides, it really is funnier this way."

Nora shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

Blake thought about it but couldn't think of anything to the hammer maiden cheer up so she moved onto the next card. "If you're happy and you know it, lick things to claim them as your own."

"Wow, Ruby must be happy all the time then." Weiss deadpanned.

"It's a legitimate strategy." Ruby defended her self. "Besides, I haven't licked everything that's mine."

"Oh really?" Yang interrupted. "Let's see, you've licked Crescent Rose, your bed, your text books, any food put in front of you and our house. So, please, tell us something that's yours that you haven't licked."

"My teammates." Ruby answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, two of them anyway."

"I'm not sure whether I should feel complemented or creeped out." Blake pondered.

"Wait." Weiss turned to the faunus. "She's licked you?"

"What? No!" Blake retorted. "But, if she hasn't licked you and she hasn't licked me…"

They both stared at Yang, who was sporting an embarrassed blush. "Just read the next card."

"O-kay then." Blake said as she desperately tried to quell the questions that buzzed around her head. "If you're happy and you know it, be fat and stupid."

Nora shook her head vehemently. "No. I don't wanna."

"Are you sure? This next one's worse." Blake warned. "If you're happy and you know it then lactate."

"Ewwwwwwwww!" Ruby voiced her opinion.

"Exactly." Blake agreed as she selected the next answer. "If you're happy and you know it, then rocks fall and everyone dies."

"Cheerful." Ren snarked.

Blake picked up the final answer of the round. "If you're happy and you know it, bring a female to orgasm."

"Y'know, that was not what I was thinking when I picked 'the female orgasm'." Jaune said, scratching the back of his head.

Blake leaned over the table to hand Jaune his black card. "Well too bad, cause that's what won."

"Thanks?" Jaune took the black card

Blake leaned in closer. "You must be pretty happy you won, right." She purred.

"Yeah, I guess." Jaune answered nervously, leaning back as Blake slowly came closer to his face.

Blake crawled over to table on her hands and knees and whispered in the blonde's ear. "Then you better get to work."

Hey guys, what's up!

I got beta readers! YAY! Give a big round of applause to SaxKid, AdamthePyromancer, and demonic1556. I don't have any other news but I do have a request.

I am not good with social media. I just recently got a Twitter account. I find Facebook annoying. I know nothing about Reddit, Tumbler or anything else like that. And I realize this is… less then helpful. Also, very embarrassing.

So my request is for you guys to go and spread the word about this little story of mine. Do it wherever you want, however you want. Please don't feel you have to but if you want to help, this is helpful. If you do, please tell me about it, ether in a review or in a private message. I want to stay informed.

(To be completely honest, the main reason I'm doing this is because I want someone who works on RWBY to read this. That would be so cool.)

Anyway, enough about me being pathetic. Here's the Scoreboard and Review Responses.

Scoreboard

Ruby: 6

Weiss: 5

Blake: 4

Yang: 6

Jaune: 7

Norra: 6

Pyrrha: 8

Ren: 4

And now Review Responses.

CrazyTrollR49: They have now. Also, the "George W. Bush" request is done and done but I can't do the "President of the United States" because there hasn't been info revealed about how the governments of RWBY work. I mean they're called Kingdoms but Vale is governed by a council and Atlas seems to be both a kingdom and a megacorp with a General in charge.

Wolf-Dragon Hybrid Samurai: Done and done.

Eramis8: I am All-seeing and All-knowing.

The Citrus Principle: Yeah, but it's all up to the cards y'know?

Cavetroll001: That's dangerous. Get a seatbelt.

titansFire: You read this in a public place? Also, for spotting the reference, you get an Internet cookie.

dracohalo117: Was this soon enough for you? Also, no spinoff. Sorry. Hope you're satisfied with a heart-warming Penny and Ironwood scene.

The Phoenix Wraith: Very true my friend, very true.

TehUnoman: Reference spotted! You get an Internet cookie!

Daedalus244: You're welcome.

Guest: No, it is not. You're welcome.

Spartan Ninja: Thank you. Also, What?

Yangfromyin: It's true that there isn't a lot of good stuff out there, but I figure that's okay. If the people who write bad stuff keep practicing, they'll eventually write good stuff. Or at least that's how it's supposed to work.

Oh, and to answer you're question that was a throwaway joke. I hadn't thought about it until you mentioned it. However, if the opportunity comes up I'll answer that question in story. But for now, you can just assume that the answer is everyone.

dark habit: For the answer to you're question, I direct you to the chapter title for Round 5.

nightelf37: Reference spotted! You get an Internet cookie! And about damn time someone got it too.

Resisting the Borg: You want to know what's funny? As soon as I was done writing the scene with Penny in this chapter you posted this review.

ShadowMark3: Seriously? Five bucks?

Can I get royalties?

ODST110: You're probably right.

And that's all for now. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go what Achievement Hunter Let's Plays now.

Reviews are nice.

- Rex Heller