Betcha never thought Uchiha Sasuke would be the new Zoolander. I own/influence neither Naruto nor Ben Stiller. Who is comedic genius and professionally good-looking for this picture. It's been a while since I did anything for my SasuHina pieces, hasn't it? I should work on the bigger ones, but they're giving me so much trouble. It's 'tres sad' as my beloved roomie would say. It was kind of a weird theme to work with, so you know... I don't know if I worked it well. For serious.
Oh, and I don't Monty Python's Flying Circus. Which is the reference for the Spanish Inquisition and it's comfy chair and soft pillows. In case you know... anyone got that. And spiffy red uniforms.
Theme 7('superstar'): A New Day. That's D-A-I-Y-E.
How did it happen? When did it happen? Just what events triggered this rolling snowball? It's not every day really, really, ridiculously good looking male models end up married to classical pianists. I'm Ito Suzume, here with Hyu—whoops, Uchiha Hinata, asking the questions everyone wants to know the answers to.
Ito: So, Uchiha-san, I know I'm not alone when I say I am dying to know how on earth you, a musician, managed to fall in love with—
Uchiha: A male model? The male model? Honestly, it's not that hard. Have you seen some of the shots he's done? I imagine fourteen year olds all over the country were determined to marry him.
Ito: Except that you've beat them to it. laughs It's Uchiha… so hot right now and likely for a long time yet, Sasuke. I know I wouldn't have said 'no'.
"What are you watching?"
Hinata nearly lost her grip on her tea. "S-Sasuke! You're awake!"
"Obviously. It's what people normally do this late in the day." A glance at the clock revealed that most women weren't normal, because who in their right mind was willingly awake at 8.03am on a Saturday?
"I-it's just you got in rather late, a-and I didn't think you'd want me to wake you up." Hinata supplied weakly.
"You sneaking out of bed, at what you would normally consider 'an ungodly hour', was an incentive. I'd repeat my first question," his mouth twisted into a grimace of distaste, "but I don't need to." He eyed the two women in their comfy looking chairs on the screen. It looked like the Spanish Inquisition was having a fairly successful interrogation, and no one had needed to bring out the soft cushions.
Uchiha: —party an acquaintance in the agency was holding. He was, if I remember correctly, trying to escape an entourage. Watching him was making me dizzy, so the next time he crept by my booth, I pulled him in…
"Thank god for strobe lights." Sasuke muttered, pulling up a seat next to his wife, and turning up the volume, who'd had it nearly silent in her efforts not to wake him.
"Night vision does tend to work less well after you've had several cocktails." She allowed.
Ito: Vultures? How… romantic?
Uchiha: A male model near tears of relief isn't exactly the moment a girl's heart decides 'he's the one'
"I was not near tears." Sasuke protested vehemently. "And for all I knew you were some other fangirl that was going to have her wicked way with me."
Uchiha: Well, we started talking, once he realized I wasn't going to manhandle him any more than make sure he survived being yanked into dark abyss. Turned out he liked my music, and I had a weakness for vampiric appearances.
"Three months later, you'd probably have been on your knees at the possibility I would, darling. Syrup?" She asked, as an innocent afterthought, offering him the jug.
"There's nothing to put syrup on." He pointed out. Before he could question whether she was truly awake, she revealed her dastardly plot.
"So there isn't. You should make French toast. Or waffles." She smiled up at him, chin resting on interlocked fingers.
"I swear I married your sweet tooth, and nothing else." Grousing audibly, he got up and reached for his 'Kiss the Cook' apron.
"But you have a torrid affair with the rest of me, so stop whining." She retorted, turning up the volume again so he could listen as he rattled about his kitchen. "Oh, this part." She turned her attention back to the TV, as Sasuke paused in his quest for flour.
Ito: So, Hinata, the one question on every woman's mind, and maybe some of the men, how is he?
Uchiha: He's fine, thanks for asking. He's been a little overworked as kind of a punishment for eloping. Everyone wants a shot of the 'prettiest married man in the world' on a spread advertising for them
Ito: That's not what I was asking, and you know it.
The screen cut to commercial. Sasuke had found his flour and was looking for the baking soda, but turned back when he heard his wife giggling.
"They cut it out. I suppose it's for the best."
"What did you say?" He asked, resignedly.
"It wasn't me, she started it. She asked, and I quote, 'Is Uchiha Sasuke as lifeless in bed as he is on camera?'"
"I repeat, what did you say?"
"He is when he's sleeping." She delivered her line with a completely straight face, and was rewarded with the nastiest glare one can muster when one can't remember where one put the sugar.
"I should burn your waffles."
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You wouldn't dare leave your new wife reeling from hunger, not after all the effort we put into eloping. I know you're family's been making 'official wedding' noises."
"And I guess you only get that from your sister and maybe your cousin."
"Disowned pianist. I don't make enough to afford the wedding everyone thinks we deserve. And it's supposed to be the bride's family who pays so…" She gave him an indifferent shrug.
"You last name is Uchiha now, so technically it is your family who will be footing the majority of the bill."
"And here I thought the best part about you was your face. Now you're telling me you have smarts? I may have to divorce you."
"And live without the chocolate torte? Somehow I doubt that." The kiss he left on her cheek spoke of a thousand reasons beyond words how he knew she'd stay.
At least I know I'll never get into writing professionally. Spare my dignity and immoral I mean immortal soul, all that jazz.
