Master Chief
A Stasis Pod
The Rear End of Dawn
Deep Space
CH2 6NH
12/10/2553
To The Inventor of the Mongoose.
Why? Just why? So many whys.
First why the random name. It hardly puts fear into the hearts of our enemies does it. The Covenant has awesome names for their things, WRAITH! That sounds scary. GHOST...ohhhhhh spooky SPIKER...ouch that's gonna hurt. Plasma pistol. Okay not so much that one, but you get my drift. You could have put a bit more effort into it. I suggest renaming the Mongoose to one of the following AWESOME-A-TRON, MEGAWHEELS, or my personal favourite... QUADBIKE. If you use one let me know, as I would like a cut of the royalties.
Having used one out in the field I have noticed that it has to fundamental flaws which make it impractical for use in the UNSC. The first is the fact that it is impossible to carry a passenger without looking gay. In a prominently male fighting force this can cause all sorts of problems, particularly in the showers later.
The other is that the moment you step on a Mongoose you're liable to get beat down. I ask you, Mr Genius, what is the point in designing a vehicle that doesn't protect my face. These people have no respect for the publicity shots I have to do later. I cant very well turn up to my photo shoot for xboxlive weekly with a cracked helmet. Imagine the headlines! These paparazzi are animals.
Amongst solving these problems I would also appreciate it if you could add cup holders, a decent radio (as the current one only picks up UNSC team talk channels and I need something to drown out Cortana's whining), and some killer rims.
Yours sincerely
Master chief Petty Officer John 117
