My internet's been broken for a few days, now, so I'm just getting this up now. I also haven't seen the movie lately, so if various things, like what the monkey does with the coin, and Barbossa's lines, are wrong, don't hesitate to tell me.

Schmergie- I. Am. Not. An. Orlando. Bloom. Fangirl. Hisssss… You are forgiven for now, because you are my best friend, but I advise you not to accuse me of that again. –attempts menacing look and fails- Thanks for the reviews, though.

NazgulQueen- Frenchman is in your blood, so you're going to have to square with that, someday.

Sayla Ragnarok- Moonlight. Moonlight. Check out the moon references and see if this brings up any questions… not major, but important later. In a minor sort of way. I'm not making sense. Then again, I rarely do.

Disclaimer: Nobody even reads these things. I could write "PotC is mine! Muahahahaha! Loserz!" here and Disney would never know. Regrettably, it would be a lie.

Haley, along with Estrella and Elizabeth, stood at the top of the stairs, frozen in terror as the butler responded to a knock on the door. Haley wasn't actually too worried. She knew everything that was going to happen, and she planned on running away when Estrella did. Spending more time with the prissy governor's daughter than necessary was out of the question. Even the booming guns outside didn't faze her.

"Don't!" cried Elizabeth. Haley rolled her eyes.

"Hello, chum," Pintel said, then shot the butler at point-blank.

Haley screamed. She'd never seen anyone die before, and she couldn't stop the pure horror from escaping her lips. The sound immediately drew the notice of the pirates.

"Up there!" shouted Pintel. Haley wasn't aware of anything except spots of light dancing before her eyes until they were hiding in the closet. She supposed Elizabeth had dragged her along, and she would have complained, but she was too worn-out from nearly fainting. Haley had always been squeamish. She couldn't stand the sight of anything remotely gross or bloody, let alone somebody being shot. Estrella was long gone. Haley knew she'd escaped while the pirates were distracted by the burning ashes from the bed-warmer. In the room outside, the dark-haired girl heard the distinctive sound of the door being forced in.

"We know you're here, poppet!" called Pintel in a sing-song voice. Elizabeth turned to Haley.

"Shhh…," she hissed. The warning was unnecessary. Even talkative Haley knew enough to stay quiet when her life was in danger. She rolled her jungle-green eyes at the older girl.

"Poppet," echoed Ragetti. In real life, the pirates were not so funny. In fact, they were incredibly sinister. Haley resisted the urge to say something.

"Come out," Pintel was saying now, "and we promise we won't hurt you." There was a pause, and then, he continued. "We will find you, poppet. You've got something of ours and it calls to us. The gold calls to us."

"Gold calls," repeated Ragetti. Terrified though she was, Haley still found this exceedingly annoying. Did he have an original thought in his head? Haley wasn't near the space between the doors, so she couldn't see them, only hear their voices and footsteps. Of course, she'd watched the movie enough to know exactly where they were at any point, but living it was different. Suddenly, she smelled rather than felt Pintel's breath. It wasn't nearly as rum soaked as she'd expected, which puzzled for a moment, before she remembered why. Ah, right. He couldn't drink anything.

"'Ello, poppet." The doors swung open.

"Parley!" cried Elizabeth and Haley at the same time.

"What?"

Haley let Elizabeth answer, frightened she'd botch the line, losing credibility. "Parley. I invoke the rights of parley. According to the Code of the Brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you have to take us to your captain."

"I know the code," snapped Pintel, irritated. Even without the scent of alcohol, he still smelled revolting.

"If an adversary demands parley, you can do them no harm until the parley is complete." Oops. Haley hadn't meant to say that. She hoped it didn't matter, and that the plot wouldn't change in some gargantuan way.

"To blazes with the code."

"They want to be taken to the captain, and they'll go without a fuss. We must honor the Code," Pintel snickered to Ragetti, who grinned.

Haley felt like screaming, "No, not me, I don't want to be taken to the captain, no I don't, just ignore me, that's alright!" but seeing as the alternative was death or worse, she stayed silent, as she and Elizabeth were led out to the streets. They passed Will, which cheered Haley up immensely by reminding her that this was a movie, and they would be rescued.

Then, her mood plummeted. Elizabeth would be rescued. Haley was just a random maid, dispensable. She needed to think, but it was impossible with the bloodshed everywhere. She closed her eyes as they walked toward the Black Pearl, but it didn't keep her from hearing the screams.

She opened her eyes around the time they arrived at the ship, the beginning of a plan in her mind. It wasn't nearly as good as what her friends would do, but it would have to suffice. Haley's reaction to the Pearl was infinitely different than Ivy's. To her, it had always seemed eerie and gloomy, everything about it the anti-thesis of Haley. Even in the second movie, she hadn't been fond of it. Now, she shivered as she and Elizabeth were led onto the ship, watched closely by the crowd of leering pirates.

"I didn't know we was taking on captives," muttered Bo'sun, confronting Pintel and Ragetti.

"They've invoked the right of parley with Captain Barbossa," Pintel explained. A few in the crowd laughed, which did nothing to improve Haley's already dismal mood.

"I am here to negotiate," began Elizabeth, and the towering dark-skinned pirate slapped her. Haley twitched, taking a deep breath.

"You will speak when spoken to," he barked, preparing to slap her again. Captain Barbossa seemed to step out of nowhere, grabbing his first mate's wrist.

"And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley," he informed Bo'sun, then looked at the two girls. "My apologies, Miss."

"Captain Barbossa, we are here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal," Elizabeth declared. Haley was a bit impressed despite herself with how calm the older girl was, considering all this.

"There are a lot of big words, in there, Miss," the captain stated, "We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?" Haley was feeling a lot braver now, and she refused to let Elizabeth look smarter and braver than her. Imaginary pirates, Haley told herself. Imaginary pirates can't hurt you… even if they do have very sharp imaginary swords.

"We want you to leave and never come back," she snapped before Elizabeth could. The aforementioned imaginary pirates laughed.

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request," Barbossa told him after the crew's laughter had died down. Haley knew and loved the line, and had used it many times when instructed to eat asparagus, but the confusion was evident on Elizabeth's face. "Means 'no'," clarified Barbossa. The crew laughed again.

"Very well," said Elizabeth, stepping over to dangle the medallion over the edge of the boat, "I'll drop it." Barbossa did absolutely nothing. Haley was impressed. Disguising a reaction to something was beyond her.

"My holds are bursting with swag. That bit of shine matters to us? Why?"

"It's what you've been searching for," Elizabeth started. Haley cut in. Time to start her plan.

"We recognized the ship. We saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England," she finished. Barbossa looked at both of them, interestedly, and at the Aztec gold hanging precariously over the waves, the key to his freedom ready to drop straight to the depths of Davy Jones' locker if he made a wrong move.

"Did ye, now?"

Elizabeth stared at Haley. She obviously had no idea what her maid was doing. "Fine," the governor's daughter snapped, "Well, I suppose if it's worthless, there's no point in me keeping it." She let the coin slip from her hand, but held onto the chain, creating the illusion of the medallion falling. Every member of the crew who could see it lunged forward, then stopped when they realized she still had it. Nobody said a word. Elizabeth had made her point.

"Ah." Barbossa chuckled. "You have a name, Missy?"

"Turner," answered Haley, quickly, "Haley and Elizabeth Turner. We're maids in the governor's household." They curtsied, rather awkwardly in Haley's case, since she still wasn't quite used to her voluminous dress.

"Miss Turner, is it?" Barbossa asked. Haley could have sworn his eyes literally lit up. "You don't look like sisters." He took in Elizabeth's brown eyes and hair, and fair skin, and Haley's dark, rough hair, olive skin, green eyes, and freckles, plus the obvious difference in height. Haley hadn't thought of that.

"We share a father," she explained, quickly, before Elizabeth could protest.

"Bootstrap!" hissed Pintel, grinning. Elizabeth, still holding the medallion over the side of the ship, was perplexed. She gave Haley a questioning look.

"Haley… that's an unusual name," the captain continued. He was still suspicious.

"My name's Harriet-Lily, but I hate it," she admitted. Barbossa nodded, not arguing with that. If he had, Haley would have gotten quite mad, since of all the things she'd told him so far, this was true. Haley hated to lie or be accused of it, and she would have snapped it someone disputed the one truth she'd told. She was now very grateful her parents hadn't named her Skylar, as she'd often wished. That would have been hard to explain away.

"And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as that? Family heirloom, perhaps?" Barbossa asked, gesturing toward the medallion. Elizabeth misinterpreted the question.

"I didn't steal it, if that's what you mean."

"Very well, you hand it over and we'll put our town to our rudder and ne'er return," the captain told them, dramatically. A sinister smile made its way onto his face, and Haley would have insisted he take her back to Port Royal would it not have thrown off the plot beyond measure. Elizabeth placed the gold in Barbossa's outstretched hand. He handed it to his monkey, who bit into it, cheerfully.

"Our bargain?" inquired Elizabeth. Barbossa turned and walked away, shouting orders to the crew.

"Still the guns and stow 'em. Signal the men and make good to clear port!"

"Wait!" shouted Elizabeth, running forward. Haley followed her, swiftly. "Stop! You have to take us to shore! According to the Code of the Order of the Brethren--," Barbossa cut her off.

"First," he snapped, "your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement, so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's Code to apply, and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than rules." That line, and its accompanying facial expressions had never ceased to amuse Haley. Until now. Barbossa had been her favorite character, besides Will, but she suspected that was going to be changing very soon. "Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner!"

Not the best I've ever written, but Haley is fun. Yay for the Haley. And the Barbossa.

Here's a nifty pneumonic device to help you remember what you should do after reading this chapter.

Really Evil Vipers Intentionally Eat Watermelons.

Or, was that too subtle?

coughrevieworelsecough

Allergy season. 